Evil incarnate, A man named Heyzues, and a Korean Girl (777 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.39 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Heyzeus (View user info) at 2007-12-20 23:02:37 EST
Evil and I, we go way back. Our moms were and still are best friends; they met at a Lamaze class. I was born two days before him. We shared the same crib for crying out loud. We both kinda look the same and have the same interests. He is in every way, but blood, my brother. So I know when he's going to do something completely freaking... evil.
It was at our birthday party (the one we hold for ourselves), Stupid was there but he's not really in this story. The party was at Steve's apartment; Steve is a very close friend of ours because despite his fat ass he knew quite a lot of ladies. There was alcohol, of course, there were girls (Thanks to Steve the ratio was nicely set at two girls to one guy. Which I'm sad to say wouldn't have been the case if it would have been only Evil, Stupid and myself throwing this shindig.) and there was a Wii. An awesome time was being had.
As the party rolled down, I was busy talking to Nikki, a girl from my work who I am now dating but wasn't at the time. Things were progressing smoothly with her (a lot of touching and other things that eventually lead to making out in Steve's spare room), when I looked over and saw Evil sitting in a metal folding chair having an excited conversation with a very attractive asian girl, whilst holding a Rubik's cube. I had seen him earlier talking with the girl and fiddling with the toy, but as I watched her roll her eyes at him, I realized exactly what he was doing. I went back to talking to Nikki for a few more minutes before Evil and the asian (I just got off the phone with Evil, she's Korean and for the sake of not typing Korean girl, her name is Carol.) girl started attracting attention.
Apparently Carol thought evil was a fucking idiot because... well to be honest he sounds like an idiot. Obviously Evil isn't his real name, but that's why I call him evil, because only Stupid and myself know how smart he is, which is a lot smarter than people think. I'm not saying he's a genius but he knows how to do all kinds of shit, like speak spanish, juggle and do a Rubik's cube in just under four minutes.
Anyway Carol declared as a matter of fact that Evil wasn't smart enough to get even two sides of the little puzzle. Now Carol didn't look too drunk but she either had too much to drink or she's a giant slut because I don't see how this could have gone the way it did if one of those things didn't apply to her.
After ten minutes of bullshitting a bet was struck. Evil had bet a hundred dollars against a five minute lap dance from Carol, in her bra and panties, to be performed in front of every one present and awake, that he could in fact get two sides of the Rubik's cube in five minutes. By this time it was two in the morning and the only people awake were Steve, some girl talking to Steve, Nikki, Evil, Carol and myself.
Steve turns off the music as Evil puts the puzzle down on the coffee table in front of him. We all gather around and Carol looks over Evil's head at the clock. She's waiting for the second hand to hit the twelve to say "GO" when Evil say's "Wait..." Carol starts laughing telling him he can't back out and that they already shook on it. "I'm not backing out... what do I get if I can get more than two?" If he can get more than two, she says she'll give him a private lap dance in Steve's room with nothing on. "Well shit! What do I get if I can get the whole thing." He say's it in a way that sounds like HE doesn't even think he can do it.
If he can get the whole thing, she'll fuck his brains out. She actually said "I'll fuck your brains out!"
Evil was shocked at this, more so than everybody else, because he had just guaranteed himself a piece of ass for the night. I was shocked because I had never seen him take it this far. The time before it was just getting a girl to flash him, it was two years ago and instead of a Rubik's cube he had thrown a knife twenty feet and stuck a tree, we didn't know Steve back then and that's why Steve had no idea what was going on now.
Needless to say he got it done in three and a half minutes. It was the look on her face that was interesting though. I was expecting shock and disbelief. Though as soon as he finished the puzzle she knew she had been tricked and it was almost like it made her attracted to him. They locked eyes for a long time before Steve chimed in. "You aint using my bed!"
"I live two blocks away, you wanna go for a walk?" He nodded his head toward the door. She agreed and they left.
That was over two months ago, they're talking about getting married... fuckin sluts. If they have kids I'm totally letting them know how their mommy and daddy met.
User Reviews
Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2007-12-22 15:54:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2007-12-22 09:30:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I enjoyed the story.
Submitted by heyzues (user info) at 2007-12-21 20:28:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:12:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
it's erm...'jesus'. I don't care that you're an a lister. you still can't spell. merry christmas.
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Holy shit! I was just eating a sandwich when I was reading this, I nearly choked. did you just call me an "A lister". funniest thing EVAR!
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-12-21 15:27:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
don't misunderstand me either though. i enjoyed it, i'm just sayin.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-12-21 15:26:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i got the same as berty... don't misinterpret it's just kind of the relation of the story. it could just as easily be "duuuude I was so high....." or even just "duuuuude, that's right i did this: ....."
Submitted by heyzues (user info) at 2007-12-21 13:39:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-21 04:32:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
There's a lot of tired uses of language here, just the tone of it is so heavily the cliched "oh man I was SOOOO WASSTEDD!!", but it's funny and it reminds of some story I read about a guy who has loads of brothers & sisters who're all named after the calender months.
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I don't know what to say about the tired uses of language part... Sorry? as far as the "oh man I was SOOOO WASSTEDD!!" bit, it really didn't feel like that to me. It may have come out that way on the screen but the only person I even insinuated was heavily inebriated was Carol, there wasn't any slurred speach or any crazy adjectives describing how drunk some one was. I my self(though I didn't mention it in the submission) was completely sober the entire party. Thanks for insight.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-12-21 11:22:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-12-21 10:49:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-12-21 10:49:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2007-12-21 09:02:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's nice.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:56:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Werd.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:42:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i didnt' read this but I felt the need to leave you this early christmas presednt.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:12:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
it's erm...'jesus'. I don't care that you're an a lister. you still can't spell. merry christmas.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-21 05:03:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't encourage his style. It's the worst thing about this post.
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2007-12-21 04:57:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
We need more ppl named Evil in this world. I like your style sir.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-21 04:32:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
There's a lot of tired uses of language here, just the tone of it is so heavily the cliched "oh man I was SOOOO WASSTEDD!!", but it's funny and it reminds of some story I read about a guy who has loads of brothers & sisters who're all named after the calender months.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-12-21 00:40:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
GOOKS
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-12-20 23:34:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
beautiful
Submitted by supadupapupa (user info) at 2007-12-20 23:11:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
the skillz that impress the ladiez... no wonder!