GPF: The Awful Truth About Christmas (2125 hits)
Category: NewsRating: 0.76 on 75 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (View user info) at 2007-12-21 07:27:05 EST
Have a good one cunts!
User Reviews
Submitted by richardcranium (user info) at 2007-12-26 12:27:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
What I would expect, meat boiler.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-23 12:30:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck, well I'd switched off before they equalised.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-23 12:29:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Is that rage stemming from a beating by Derby? It is, isn't it?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-12-23 12:27:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
DEAR FUCKING LORD HURTY
cock knocker
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2007-12-23 12:00:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesomeness.
Oh, BTW Quint. I hope Santa brings you douche to wash the sand out of your vagina.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2007-12-22 19:48:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-12-22 18:02:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
this was fantastically boring.
Submitted by oapa (user info) at 2007-12-22 18:47:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this was good
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-12-22 18:02:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
this was fantastically boring.
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2007-12-21 22:22:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
saw this in gradeschool some 15 something years ago
this is why we point out that santa is magical, hence has the ability to simply stop time and casually hit each house as he wishes. since santa is also immortal it can take him as many centuries per christmas as he wants to to do his christmas round
he also uses this power to freeze time to do all his list checking and toy making.
....duh
screw you for trying to make us believe that santa couldnt exist
....scrooge
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2007-12-21 16:32:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
har har, Santa toast.
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2007-12-21 16:18:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2007-12-21 13:00:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking Awesome.
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2007-12-21 11:47:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
HurtByTheSun, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, HurtByTheSun, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.
Yes, HurtByTheSun, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no HurtByTheSuns. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The external light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.
Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.
You tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, HurtByTheSun, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.
No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, HurtByTheSun, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-12-21 11:35:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
How on earth you have a girlfriend (and an attractive one at that) I have no freakin' idea. GEEK.
+2 for Christmas. Dork.
Merry Christmas you Scottish Cunt:)
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-12-21 11:24:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-21 05:36:03 PST (#)
Ranking: 2
You have completely failed to factor in both teleportation and time dialation.
The REAL question is where santa gets the energy for all this mad bollocks.
---------
Cookies are chalk full of calories, moron.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-12-21 11:11:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
10 shades of awesome.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-12-21 10:46:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-21 10:45:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ihope a fat bear shits in your hasshole.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-21 10:06:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sicosemen is fat btw; he hides his belly with a girdle and his farts are as unpleasant as zyklon B.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-21 09:52:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am going to have to start on some kind of anti-racism campaign to clean up Uber. In the perfect world I'd forge some sort of team to do all the work for me but all you lot are white hatemongers.
I guess I'll have to go with a gimmick then.
I'VE GOT IT! INTERACIAL PORN!
No wait, that won't work. I dunno. Maybe I should just redirect the rage back at fat people. Nobody cares about them.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-12-21 09:44:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-21 14:37:11 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
i hope the jew perish, like they are victim to a mass killing of some sort.
-------------
i shouldnt be laughing but i am
hard
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-21 09:43:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Blimey Sico, you've certainly got a full skinfull of the old Christmas cheer haven't you? Where are you now? At work? On your way to a party?
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-21 09:37:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i hope the jew perish, like they are victim to a mass killing of some sort.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-21 09:36:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I know, cock tart...that you can't come back with anything to my wityty a nd azany comment. It was "you getting serrved. dnigerr face spic kike.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-21 09:30:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
BERTY, CUT your fucking hair you air stealing spi9c cutn.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-21 09:26:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like Sico more, but he becomes more openly racist so I still wouldn't want to spend actual time with him, which means drunk vs sober Sico is kind of like comparing cancer to AIDS.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-21 09:26:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
answer me you sperm spackeling sonof afbit. I 'll vehemtnly cut yoru dick, nigger.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-21 09:24:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
We should abolish the office Christmas party altogether. The HR implications are appaling.
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-12-21 09:14:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Gently ass-kicking stuff here..
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-12-21 09:12:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
If you made this : kudos.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-21 09:10:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Rhymen, surely every fucker is going to be drunk at their office party. Apart from my sister who fears the hangover too much. Gay.
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:49:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I enjoy the fact that someone took the time to figure all that out to further disprove that a made up story is completely impossible.
Pretty ridiculous numbers when you think about it.
I plan on getting drunk at my work's Holiday Party today. Wahoo!
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:48:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I think I like Sico more when he's drunk? I know he likes it rough when he's hammered.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:48:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
they should make a colonge called nigger. so that niggers could rwaer it. it would be double nigger then.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:46:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
youo eve r notice how nigers smeel? tjhe y stink like apple butter and fucking gheri curl juice. i wish they didn't but they do.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:46:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
16 actually, you cunt.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:45:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
cliclking off>??? hahahah,...you suck cocks in 13 minute4s, nigger.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:42:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-21 13:42:01 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
Everbody has gone to the pub to get wankered at work, including Sicosemen it seems.
===========
We're clocking off in 18 minutes! Huzzah!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:42:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Everbody has gone to the pub to get wankered at work, including Sicosemen it seems.
Traffics going to be a nightmare tonight.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:41:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you wanna die, bithch.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:40:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ui hate utorpedoia;
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:39:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
where'd you fidn thsi gif.....................?
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:37:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry Berty.
Sico, you couldn't get near my face, I'm too fast and pretty for you, ya ugly lugoon!
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:36:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll fucking knuckle your face, George. I want to kabuto chop your crack hole. ami especking engrish?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:36:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You have completely failed to factor in both teleportation and time dialation.
The REAL question is where santa gets the energy for all this mad bollocks.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:33:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I wish I was joking, would you be my seppukku buddy? I know you want to cut my head off.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:32:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i hope your jking, and if not, I'll help you kill yourself properly. i'll talk you through it. lord only knows that i tried this shit about a dozen time with oathmeal.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:29:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I should have changed my name to 'HurtByPillsAndVodka'.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:27:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hahaha, what faucking failure...acn't even ckill himself rgith.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:26:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-21 13:25:42 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
if you died now it wouldn't be soon enough.
=======
I tried to kill myself last night, unsuccessfully sadly.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:26:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you give m3xicans a goot nam.e
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:25:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
if you died now it wouldn't be soon enough.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:25:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
but *I* want to fuck santa claus
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:25:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i hope a nigger shits in your stocking.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:24:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I hope a spic rapes you.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:24:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
a eg34t 345 fjerkkrkrkrkrkkrkrkrkkrkrkrk ui likr yhr ke buttone.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:24:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
q342525 2
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:23:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
34 ui90 2jkpo2 ml;24 1 42 53234 2
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:23:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yn89243895uji234
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:22:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
eat dick, jesuit........ ................................................................................... ............... ....... ............................................
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:21:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This is all moot anyway since we all know that Santa git shot down by Mega City One's air defences a few years ago
or at least i know it and anyone else who happened to read that episode of Judge Dredd.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:13:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ho Ho Fucking Ho:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=nWMTF5fLA6o
Submitted by DeadToast (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:12:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Hell Spawned Demons are not subject to the universe's physical laws.
Thought everybody knew that.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:10:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Santa is a paedophile.
End of.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:07:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
santa is magic.
end of story.
Submitted by Leonore (user info) at 2007-12-21 08:05:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"...stop to do what we all must do at least once every 31 hours."
...Fuck? They mean fuck, right?
I knew Santa had low sexual affect. Comes with bein' all big 'n jolly.
This was awesome.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2007-12-21 07:50:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
merry christmas burty.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-21 07:46:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
dec
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-21 07:46:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
sa
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-21 07:45:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-21 07:45:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Soprrry.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-21 07:45:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Too fast? Learn to read.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-21 07:45:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ooo;s, I mean the other two.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-21 07:45:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm thoroughly drunk this morning and this went to fast causing a headache.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-12-21 07:39:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
if santa's sleigh is a tricked out SR-71 convertable, with a hemicuda, inluding the shaker option, i think he just might be able to pull it off