Dating an alcoholic divorcee renders bloody results. (876 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.16 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Erosion Roolz (View user info) at 2007-12-23 12:05:42 EST
**This post would have existed much longer ago had I not been moving to various houses without internet connection since then.**
So I went out to my favorite bar with a friend back in August. I notice this chick, out on the floor with her friend. Her friend was a damn/shit. A damn/shit is when you see her from the back, you're like "Damn..." then when she turns around, you're like "SHIT!" She herself looked like Molly Ringwald, back when she was way hot, with a dash of Lisa Loeb thrown in. She caught me staring and came over, started talking and making the friendly chats. She told me all her stats right off, so I should have known she was a head case.
"I do VERY well for myself. I make LOTS of money, I don't have kids, blah blah blah..."
My problem is that hindsight is about the only kind of sight I have. So I ended up making out with her, and finally, she asks me to go home with her. Okay, sounds good.
Here's where it gets weird. On the way to her house, we stop at the first red light. Suddenly she's sucking my cock. I've had road head before, but never when SHE was driving. A jeep full of college guys, about two years younger than me, saw this happen and cheered me on.
"This is good and everything...but the light's green."
This happened at every intersection on the way to her place. We get to her condo, and she starts running for the door, dragging me.
"Hurry! Come on!"
As soon as her door is unlocked, she starts stripping, running to the bedroom. She lays down, spreads her legs.
"Hurry up and fuck me!"
I told her I had no condoms. I wasn't expecting pussy.
"I allergic to latex. And I'm on birth control." She rolled over and showed me the birth control patch on her ass.
So we went at it, and she had me blow my load in her. Not something I was used to. I spent five days at her place, just fucking constantly.
Then the crazy shone through. She started talking to me in the same weird high pitched voice she used to talk to her cat...
She whipped my face with my jeans when she found out I normally date Asian chicks.
She would bite and scratch, drawing blood, at random moments. But not during sex. She would have me spank her as hard as I could when we fucked. I was happy to oblige, because it gave me an excuse to hit her.
Then she got wasted one night, and in an attempt to kiss my cheek, she head-butted one of my back teeth straight down my throat. Then yelled at me for getting blood in her sink.
The next weekend, she tried to get my friend to make out with her in front of me. He refused, and I dumped her. She cried. And begged. And I stood strong.
About a week after that, I was fucking her again. Then when I was leaving her place the next day, we broke up again. It was on and off for a while, just fucking now and then.
She still drunk dials me, wanting to cheat on her boyfriend. I really hate that psychotic twat.
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2008-01-04 23:33:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheDoctor (user info) at 2007-12-28 11:18:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-12-27 08:53:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
and then you found five dollars?
I'm just saying thank you SOOoo much for sharing.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-24 21:26:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
are you dating TheDirector, the biggest failure on the internet?
Submitted by TheBrad (user info) at 2007-12-24 09:48:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Psyco Chicks turn my crank.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2007-12-23 19:00:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Then the crazy shone through."
Oh, THEN the crazy shone through. Not when she started sucking your dick at every red light and stop sign while she was driving? My friend, though your wang is no doubt a sublime fleshy rod of divinity, no 'normal' or 'classy' girls find any man's cock that irresistible.
Submitted by MikeyB (user info) at 2007-12-23 16:44:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
yeah....
Submitted by erosion_rules (user info) at 2007-12-23 13:58:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-12-23 13:30:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
HER story:
So I went out to my favorite bar with a friend back in August. I notice this guy staring at me. I tried to avoid him, but he came over and insisted on buying me a drink.
I accepted just to be polite, but pretty soon I was feeling a little light headed.
The next thing I remember I woke up with this creep on top of me.
I should have known he was a head case in the bar.
It turns out he slipped something in my drink.
He spent five days at my place, attempting to rape me constantly.
Thank Christ he was impotent.
He would bite and scratch, drawing blood, and spank me as hard as he could.
Then he got wasted one night, and I head-butted one of his teeth straight down his throat.
While he was crying, I managed to break free and call the authorities, who arrived and arrested him. It turns out he had done this before.
At his trial, his attorney tried to shake my story, but I stood strong.
He's in jail now, and society is better for it.
I really hate that psychotic twat.
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I'll admit, this one makes me laugh. Over and over again.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-12-23 13:55:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-12-23 13:30:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
HER story:
So I went out to my favorite bar with a friend back in August. I notice this guy staring at me. I tried to avoid him, but he came over and insisted on buying me a drink.
I accepted just to be polite, but pretty soon I was feeling a little light headed.
The next thing I remember I woke up with this creep on top of me.
I should have known he was a head case in the bar.
It turns out he slipped something in my drink.
He spent five days at my place, attempting to rape me constantly.
Thank Christ he was impotent.
He would bite and scratch, drawing blood, and spank me as hard as he could.
Then he got wasted one night, and I head-butted one of his teeth straight down his throat.
While he was crying, I managed to break free and call the authorities, who arrived and arrested him. It turns out he had done this before.
At his trial, his attorney tried to shake my story, but I stood strong.
He's in jail now, and society is better for it.
I really hate that psychotic twat.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-12-23 13:14:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Eugene_Luther (user info) at 2007-12-23 18:12:37 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sam Allardyce below
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Hurty you bum weasel.
Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2007-12-23 13:13:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Red-haired girls all have aids. It's like a National law. You gonna die.
Submitted by Eugene_Luther (user info) at 2007-12-23 13:12:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sam Allardyce below
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-12-23 13:10:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
uh huh buddy.
Time for your medication?
Submitted by erosion_rules (user info) at 2007-12-23 12:12:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
what the hell man if they are comin at you , means they want somthin ,more better you look after them and care for them ,than they get on the street uh?