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Yo Santa, Watch Me Crank... (843 hits)

Category: None

Rating: -1.37 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Labels:

Submitted by BillyGoat (View user info) at 2007-12-23 20:43:25 EST


Up to this day, I still do not know what the song is about or the message it's trying to convey. I have dissected the lyrics and drawn a blank. Admittedly it only took a few seconds because I couldn't interpret the lingo. At least regular gangster speak uses regular English words, but not this. This shit is too much. I could reproduce the lyrics here and we could have an in depth discussion about the song and what it supposed to allued to and still not reach an agreement.

So what is it, that got me so vexed, I hear you ask. Well it's the one and only Crank Dat Soulja Boy or more precisely Crank Dat Batman.


See, I gave up the lyrics way back after my dismal failure at interpretation. Instead I concentrated on the killer beat-the one that had initially reeled me in. It made me wanna crunk- one-two- pop, one-two-pop and throw a shoulder lean. Damn, this beat was off the hook. I must have spent a good few hours just watching Soulja Boy, trying hard to emulate him, so I could join the growing number of kids doing that dance.


Don't dare pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about, coz I know you do. Hell you done practiced it last night didn't ya!


So after a while, I came up with my own variation. A concoction that to my mind did the song more justice. You know how it is, I had rhythm already and all I had to do was lay it down. And lay it down, I did.


The big day came- on the 19th July. I hooked up my laptop and uploaded my masterpiece onto YouTube, hoping to get noticed and not drown in the background noise with all the other video clips.
Fuck me, was I in for a surprise. Dem niggers loved it. They couldn't get enough. The comments were steaming in, saying how I was such a good dancer, how I could hold it down and so forth. Only if they knew that I had been doing this for ages. I was made for dancing. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiit, I done cranked my way up to 645,573 views and dem reviews still coming in. Damn Mims, you was right. This is why I'm hot and I'm hot coz you not.For shizzle.


Ok, ok, enough with the thug talk. You see I don't usually speak like this. In fact I'll go on as far as saying I hadly do. I live in a quiet suburbia, in a community made up of largely well to do individuals working their asses of in the great metropolis of Boston. The kids I hang around with are not the thug type and would probably get beaten up were they to suddenly find themselves lost, in the more unsavory parts of town. What it is: is that I'm just an ordianary teenager who loves popular music. Aint nothing wrong with that-right?


Wrong! For the most part the comments were positive indeed, but something curious happened. They commented less on my dancing (damn you) and more on how my house looked. I thought, ok fair enough, the house does look kinda nice and I deliberately set the dance at that position to kinda show off (in the nicest possible way). I could have set it in the front yard so that everyone saw the full scale of the house, but in hindsight it's a good thing I reigned myself in.


Don't judge.If anything, the house belongs to my parents and not me. So give me a break.

Well at the time the comments didn't bother me at all. However, looking back i realise that the setting was a master stroke, especially with the increasingly negative comments. Yes, I live In a big house. So what?. I could have easily done the video in a shabby street so that it appeared more authentic. That is to say, authentic, for those people who think Hip-Hop should be associated with grime and destitution. Ever heard of Kanye West? Will I have gotten more street cred, if it was set in a down trodden part of town? I'll never know, but what I now is that deception and authenticity are not good bedfellows. It's stupid that I should have to justify myself like this. Laughable really. To all those haters, I say, grow up, it's the fucking 21st century, Black people are allowed to have a big house, earn a good living and follow their dreams just like everyone else.


And to the person that said "wow, the whitest black guy, get a real faggot you not a thug you joke fuck soulja boy and all your homies."


I say, Nigger please, I will keep on cranking right here in my huge house, with Santa sitted on my lap feeding me more dough!

What you say about that?

**
Merry Christmas.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09wK2HqDOlI




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User Reviews


Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2008-01-04 23:30:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

No Comment

Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-12-25 21:15:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

The Georgia offensive line did the Soulja Boy during the 2nd half of the UGA/Auburn game this year. By my admittedly hazy recollection, it was lots of fun to watch. I may have even jumped up and down.

White people can't understand the lyrics, especially white people not from the Atlanta metro area.

Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2007-12-24 17:48:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

Fuckin' Whigro.

Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-24 11:57:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

No Comment

Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-12-24 10:48:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

No Comment

Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-24 07:17:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

Oh shut the fuck up, he dances like a moron and if I saw him doing that in a club I'd fucking punch him.

Whether or not he has a nice house is completely irrelevant. The fact is that he looks a complete twat.

Submitted by TheGoat (user info) at 2007-12-24 07:03:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Well, what a surprise, Soulja Boy gets a negative! i think the song is annoying, and should be removed from the airways as soon as possible. But i wrote this to show how people are still can't get over the fact that a black man is equally capable of living a comfortable life. Just read some of the comments and you see what i mean.

To some reviewers (majority of the reviewers)- that dude is very good, but obviously some people can't hack it.

Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-12-23 23:08:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -1

What?

Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-12-23 22:27:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

Oops

Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-12-23 22:26:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Dude, seriously.

Seriously?

Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2007-12-23 21:57:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

Upon returning from vacation with my family, I found some nigger dancing in my living room in front of a video camera on a tripod. I drew and shot him in the head with my Desert Eagle. While my wife cleaned the blood from the stairway wall, I wrapped him in an old tarp and buried him in the backyard. I kept the camera and burned the tape in the fireplace. Then we all sat down and enjoyed a nice Holiday Dinner.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-23 21:11:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by TheGoat (user info) at 2007-12-24 02:01:36 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0

Over Where? Britain, coz that's were i'm at. And yes people lap it up. They should live it to the proffesionals though. Most are so bad, its embarassing even for me.

===============

Strange, I haven't heard it in a single club/pub and am only dimly aware of the song because of the internet. Obviously you hang out in shitty chav clubs so you get what you deserve.

Submitted by TheGoat (user info) at 2007-12-23 21:04:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

You'd think that a dance made up entirely of jerky movements would be easy, but you'd be wrong. Not many people can do it without looking like complete prats.

Submitted by TheGoat (user info) at 2007-12-23 21:01:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Over Where? Britain, coz that's were i'm at. And yes people lap it up. They should live it to the proffesionals though. Most are so bad, its embarassing even for me.

Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-23 20:59:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by TheGoat (user info) at 2007-12-24 01:57:33 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0

As one review said: no wonder the clip was cut short,the owners were back.

========

I"m curious, do people actually dance like that in clubs over there? That kind of shit would get you jeered at or beaten up in a real country.

Submitted by TheGoat (user info) at 2007-12-23 20:58:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Every club plays Soulja Boy. Its evrywhere and its gonna be a long time before it dissapears from the public's attention.

Submitted by TheGoat (user info) at 2007-12-23 20:57:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

As one review said: no wonder the clip was cut short,the owners were back.

Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-24 01:54:29 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0

"he broke into some white persons house and filmed :D"

Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-23 20:56:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

In that case the clubs you are going to are moronic. I can't see the appeal in it myself.

Submitted by TheGoat (user info) at 2007-12-23 20:55:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

i can't deny that the song is catchy. Everyone is loves it at the club.

Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-23 20:54:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

"he broke into some white persons house and filmed :D"

Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-23 20:52:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

That infant rap star guy is a fucking plague. What was America thinking?


Hello? Yes? Oh! Heh, heh, uh ... if you're looking for that big donut
of yours ... um, Flanders has it. Just smash open his house. (Closing
the door.) He came to life. Good for him.

-- Homer Simpson
Treehouse of Horror VI