A poem for no one (1223 hits)
Category: Quotes & Stories -> PoetryRating: -0.65 on 73 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ChaosJester (View user info) at 2007-12-27 14:56:17 EST
I feel your fingertips brushing across the inside of my closed eyes
An ocean roars in the background
The scent of you tickles my brain stem
And the sensation of your hand griping my heart
Is exhilarating
I love you
The dark message you whisper in my ear
Licks my spirit with frenzied passion
The pores dotting my skin ejaculate with ecstatic tension
And the perspiration gleams in the moonlight
So frustrating
I love...
Your hair wriggles in my blood
Teasing, twirling, engorging my veins
Filling me up with the essence of your poisonous saliva
My toes curl and my back arches
Where are you
I...
My teeth savage my bottom lip
To keep me from screaming your name
Even this solace is denied me though
As I can taste you beneath the crimson rage painting my tongue
Bittersweet release
...
A puff of air drifts across my cheek
While my traitor eyes leak
I love you
And I wonder
If I hate you
User Reviews
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2007-12-30 12:32:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This was laughably bad from beginning to end.
Absolute shit.
I loved it.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2007-12-30 08:56:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-28 09:07:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Y'know, I spent quite a bit of time on this and, reading it over the next day, I can only find one part that I *might* have changed.
I'm rather proud of my crappy little poem, actually.
I also enjoy how strongly it seems to have affected my Readers.
That was the intent, by the way.
You don't always have to like something for it to make you feel.
_______________
No. I've read things I found repulsive, and I admire the skill it takes to make mere words SO distasteful.
This was simply not any good. It didn't make me feel... anything. It made me pity your lack of ability.
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2007-12-30 06:56:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Does it smell like emo in here to anyone else? Jesus, open a window.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2007-12-30 03:31:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
"The pores dotting my skin ejaculate with ecstatic tension"
Eww.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-12-29 04:35:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Bad.
Submitted by TheDoctor (user info) at 2007-12-28 11:39:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-12-28 16:37:27 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by TheDoctor (user info) at 2007-12-28 15:58:33 GMT (#)
Ranking: -2
Poetry.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why not just sign your name a the end??
------------
Don't be silly, we all know that doctors have illegible handwriting.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-12-28 11:37:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by TheDoctor (user info) at 2007-12-28 15:58:33 GMT (#)
Ranking: -2
Poetry.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why not just sign your name a the end??
Submitted by TheDoctor (user info) at 2007-12-28 10:58:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Poetry.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-28 09:10:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Did this make you want to slash your wrists? did me! Go read my little adventure to cheer you up.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-28 09:07:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Y'know, I spent quite a bit of time on this and, reading it over the next day, I can only find one part that I *might* have changed.
I'm rather proud of my crappy little poem, actually.
I also enjoy how strongly it seems to have affected my Readers.
That was the intent, by the way.
You don't always have to like something for it to make you feel.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-12-28 08:50:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-28 03:56:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
oh you bad bad man
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-12-28 01:04:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
the phrase "the pores dotting my skin ejaculate with ecstatic tension" makes me want to vomit
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2007-12-27 23:30:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
wheres her other nipple?
Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2007-12-27 22:03:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Serious lack of boobies and MAJOR lack of poetic ability.
You, Sir, suck. . .
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2007-12-27 21:18:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No NSFW, and your poetry sucks.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2007-12-27 19:23:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Dude.
Poetry isn't your thing.
You've combined grotesque images with jarring, out of place language. Again, there's no instinctive, natural feel for the words, which you can sometimes get away with when writing prose, but never with poetry. There are too few words to hide it, so it's glaring and obvious and cringe-inducing.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2007-12-27 19:20:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
gay
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-12-27 19:12:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-12-27 19:12:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-12-27 19:10:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-12-27 18:01:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-12-27 15:04:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
NSFW sucktard, God I hate you
===================================
do you work in a church? you people that whine about NSFW stuff must have some real shitty jobs. i can look at whatever i want at work.
don't -2 this because you think it's NSFW. do it because it sucks.
---------------------
No, I do, you're awesome, and I did. Because it does.
Submitted by T_M_U (user info) at 2007-12-27 18:33:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
your poem's crap but thanks for the bush shot. hahaha
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-12-27 18:23:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
no.
Just no.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-12-27 18:01:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-12-27 15:04:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
NSFW sucktard, God I hate you
===================================
do you work in a church? you people that whine about NSFW stuff must have some real shitty jobs. i can look at whatever i want at work.
don't -2 this because you think it's NSFW. do it because it sucks.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-12-27 17:58:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Then I won't read it.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-12-27 17:06:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
scruggs illegitimate child below
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-12-27 17:00:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
rotten bear fucker/necropheliac below
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-12-27 16:59:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
didn't much care for the poem.
the image was excellent. you have displayed good taste.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-12-27 16:49:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Poem.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-27 16:30:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bullshit.
I give the best BJs this side of San Fransisco.
My oral skillz PWN yours.
Just don't pay any mind to the cold sore.
And it IS a cold sore, dammit.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-12-27 16:28:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd compete with you any day, CJ. It's one of the few things I actually put effort into. Ask any of the sailors at the dock, they'll tell you.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-27 16:28:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What about glitter?
There's always enough glitter...
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-12-27 16:26:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
But there should be.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-12-27 16:26:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
There aren't enough gold stars or red ribbons to celebrate and highlight her sucking capabilities.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-27 16:23:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You...you...utter COW!
How'm I supposed to compete with that?!
You suck...but not very well.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-12-27 16:20:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, admittedly, I often keep her restrained.
But the rest is true.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-12-27 16:19:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What can I say, I know where to go for the most effective disclipline.
Circe ties me to the radiator, beats me, and leaves me there. O recues me and makes it all better.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-27 16:15:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Dammit, you can't have both O-Man AND Circe!
Greedy bitch.
Gimme one, I need the luv.
You've read (and undoubtedly laughed at) my posts...
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-12-27 16:13:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Didn't read it, but I kinda dig antique nudes. Plus, I left work early just to use my own toilet.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-12-27 16:12:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
He's my daddy and you can't have him.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-27 16:01:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
God, I loves the O-man.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-12-27 15:59:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
See now THAT is a good girl right there.
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-12-27 15:59:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
It's signed Man Ray
yup great stuff
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-12-27 15:59:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, sir.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-12-27 15:57:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Funny, Lishy does that too.
Well, she kneels...
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-27 15:55:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-12-27 15:53:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Brain stem" rarely, if ever, has a place in poetry.
****************************
I bow to the master...
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-12-27 15:54:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Additionally, it's "sacrilicious."
Or "lishy" if you're trying to save on syllables and need to make it fit.
Speaking of which, Lishy always makes it fit.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-27 15:54:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-12-27 15:52:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it 'art' that she only has one nipple?
**************************
Nope. It's the Venusian tucking of one knee slightly behind the other.
Lovely and as ancient as Woman herself...
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-12-27 15:53:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Brain stem" rarely, if ever, has a place in poetry.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-27 15:53:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Google image search: Man Ray.
One of my most favoritest artists EVAR!
Although, I don't think this is his.
I originally wanted to go with another piece of his, but when I saw this, I just couldn't resist.
Beautiful...
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-12-27 15:52:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it 'art' that she only has one nipple?
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-12-27 15:50:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ok where did the picture come from?
website? nudge nudge wink wink say no more
"he asked knowingly"
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-27 15:50:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Those aren't breasts. They're LIES!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-12-27 15:49:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am not bob. His -2 was coincidence.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2007-12-27 15:48:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-12-27 15:45:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, right. Maybe I will start dropping -2s. Monkeysucker.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-27 15:42:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Tha's cool, Slothsucker.
I still hate you, too.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-12-27 15:41:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You are still in my bad books, CJ.
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-12-27 15:37:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh for crissakes it's just a nebulous poem with an equally nebulous nude woman.
With an ample ass BTW
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-27 15:29:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Women with wide hips always have the bestest walk.
Just something about that slight sway that makes me think sacriliscious thoughts...
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-12-27 15:28:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't look until someone tells me - really - how bad this is. 'Cos the rating is shite. I daren't look... It is not self indulgent emo poop is it?
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-12-27 15:27:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Full frontal nudity is the definition of NSFW, Bart. Do not get smart with me young man.
It's not hardcore Jenna Jameson spooge-slathered silicone, but it's still a naked chick.
Not that I care about NSFW - I just want to beat the bejesus out of ChaosJester with a snow shovel.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-12-27 15:26:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
that's about how wide my hips are...
dem child bearin hips uh huh.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2007-12-27 15:24:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
If this is NSFW, you should find a new job.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2007-12-27 15:20:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Of all the creepy fucking losers who inhabit this site, you've got to be the worst.
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2007-12-27 15:16:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I don't like this.
"I feel your fingertips brushing across the inside of my closed eyes"
It makes me want to kick you in the back of your face.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-27 15:15:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Shit + Shit = Shit
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-12-27 15:06:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's art, cunt.
Still NSFW, but I'm feeling snarky today.
Plus, I forgot.
:(
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-12-27 15:05:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
didn't read it.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-12-27 15:05:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This was GASH
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-12-27 15:04:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
NSFW sucktard, God I hate you
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-12-27 15:01:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Big Bottom big bottom
talk about your mud flaps
my gals got em......
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-12-27 15:00:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
A minus 2 for you.