My impression of internet chicks (1590 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.47 on 59 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by StereoTypist (View user info) at 2008-01-02 15:58:57 EST
"Hmm... If I take the camera.... hold it at THIS angle.... and tilt my head like thiiis..... yup! That hides my double chin and makes me look super thin!
Now, let me take a dozen more of me looking all sultry-like into the camera while only moving my head an inch to the right or the left.
Yeah.... yeah that's nice. Real sexy.
Well... most people will think the look I am giving is creepy and psychotic... but I think it's uber hot!
Wow, you can really see that I have pretty eyes in this picture. Okay... maybe not pretty... but they aren't ugly... of course most fat ugly moo-cows like me think we have pretty faces and eyes...
OH! OH! Let me put on a pair of glasses and look over the rim of them to give off that "I'm a sexy librarian" look. That way people will think I'm one of those hot dorky chicks that are TOTALLY in their league but sweet and genuine.
Now to send them off to unknowing guys who I will trick into meeting me off the internet while I ignore the looks of disappointment they give me!
Woohoo!!!"
User Reviews
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-08-28 14:21:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Michelle, wet dream quell.
Face like pudding, cooch like a wishing well,
The bucket fell.
Michelle, clam shell.
Wash that thang so people cannot tell
(It's) starting to smell.
My eyes bleed, my eyes bleed, my eyes bleed!
That's all I want to say.
So won't you go away?
(If I) had to choose between me and you I know
you'll understand; I'd choose my hand.
Michelle, lube gel.
Takes all military personnel
(And) the NFL
The face and the hair and the glasses!
Size of an office block,
And it could stop a clock
Though you still breathe air and that's just not fair,
be clear on this point; stay off my joint.
My eyes bleed, my eyes bleed, my eyes bleed!
Let me say again.
You weigh like anchor chain
(If I) had to choose between me and you I know
you'll understand; I'd choose my hand.
Michelle, feckin' hell.
If you're human, I really can't tell
(You're) sure no gazelle
(If I) had to choose between me and you I know
you'll understand; I'd choose my hand.
(If I) had to choose between me and you I know
you'll understand; I'd choose my hand.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-28 11:56:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-08-28 11:49:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fat chicks always have pretty eyes...
or good personalities....
+2...because I feel like it.
I swear I've seen that face on uber before...
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bing bing bing!
I am right about this! Though I'm not so sure Ballare is the author of the post you can't deny the similarity in looks.
-P
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-08-28 11:49:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fat chicks always have pretty eyes...
or good personalities....
+2...because I feel like it.
I swear I've seen that face on uber before...
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-08-28 11:42:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If they were contacts, you'd probably be able to tell in the pictures, especially the ones in daylight. Ballare has piercings, appears to have paler skin, and does not have a mole on her upper lip. Sure, these are superficial differences that could be changed for a photo, but Ballare is also interesting and a good writer, and doesn't seem like the type who would waste her time pretending to be this alter.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-28 11:29:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Its just that Ballare's very common-looking.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-28 11:28:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's like the only difference. Contact lenses?
They even do that weird dying streaks of colour into their identical hair thing.
The glasses, the jawline, the lips? Am I nuts?
-P
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-08-28 10:57:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That is so not Ballare. They don't have the same eye color, for starters.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-28 10:27:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
umm,
Did I miss something? Isn't the chick in that picture Ubersite's very own Ballare?
Was that the joke?
-P
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-01-04 10:58:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
She looks like she just got caught stealing cakes, I bet there is a trailer behind her carrying her ass.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2008-01-04 09:26:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
All quite true, but the bamf version was a bit more entertaining: http://www.ubersite.com/m/88685
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-01-04 05:23:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Berty I never realise you were as big a perv as me. WELL DONE!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-01-04 05:06:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Okay, I buy it. You're a real person.
You're now allowed to attempt to win my respect and/or admiration by being awesome and/or naked.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-01-03 22:50:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
So what you're really saying is that you need to get out more.
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2008-01-03 15:10:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
in soviet russia, negative two reviews you!
srsly, you made a post talking about fat girls taking deceiving pictures of themselves, then tell us your brother meets girls online.
i dont know where to begin.
alter.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-01-03 14:45:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
should have put up an unedited pic of her, otherwise we just have to take your word on the comparison.
Though I do believe you, I've seen it done a million times. Last one was a chick in Georgia leaning forward to hide her post-baby fupa.
Submitted by StereoTypist (user info) at 2008-01-03 14:22:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2008-01-03 12:20:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
post more pics of that big-breasted arab chick
----------------------------
I AM NOT ARAB!
Don't make me suicide bomb you.
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2008-01-03 12:20:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
post more pics of that big-breasted arab chick
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-01-03 10:14:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Phast?
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-01-03 10:06:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck you, I type too fast.
Or is it to fast.
or two fast
or too fhast.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-01-03 08:16:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-01-03 04:50:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-01-02 16:17:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Its not that you are an alter that bugs me - its that you are an alter AND your fucking stupid.
---
"...and YOUR fucking stupid." ?
DOH.
I love that people copied that and re-used it. i mean I'm sorry but when calling someone an idiot shouldn't you at least TRY to be somewhat intelligent when you do it?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-01-03 05:33:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
ruth maddox?
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-01-03 05:32:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Thanks Maddox.
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2008-01-03 05:05:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
fuck off you dirty arab whore.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-01-03 04:50:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-01-02 16:17:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Its not that you are an alter that bugs me - its that you are an alter AND your fucking stupid.
---
"...and YOUR fucking stupid." ?
DOH.
Submitted by stone8946 (user info) at 2008-01-03 04:47:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This pretty much sums up every woman on Übersite.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-01-03 04:45:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
WOW TALK ABOUT BEING EDUCATED!
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2008-01-03 04:14:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-01-02 16:17:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Its not that you are an alter that bugs me - its that you are an alter AND your fucking stupid.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-01-03 01:04:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2008-01-02 21:39:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This post needs less face and more tits.
Submitted by KindaLikeJesus (user info) at 2008-01-02 22:44:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2008-01-02 21:39:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This post needs less face and more tits.
Word.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-01-02 20:27:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
when can we see some more of your cleavage?
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-01-02 19:57:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-01-02 18:50:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
You're right, of course, but who gives a fuck?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-01-02 18:50:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
You're right, of course, but who gives a fuck?
Submitted by Empathetic (user info) at 2008-01-02 17:15:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-02 16:48:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"aamannnhh ssss pzzza is guuuud"
*pizza and dick in mouth above
Submitted by StereoTypist (user info) at 2008-01-02 16:42:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2008-01-02 16:31:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
And you are OFF of the front page, so stfu.
-----------------
Have YOU ever even been on a page? Aside from vomiting up your so-called reviews that is.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2008-01-02 16:39:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-02 21:38:22 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
Joey, what are the toppings and can I blow you for it?
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Spicy beef and some red stuff that may/may not be tomato puree.
And yes, by all means.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-02 16:38:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Joey, what are the toppings and can I blow you for it?
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2008-01-02 16:37:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Does anyone want some of my pizza?
It's a little cold, but still good.
I've moved on to red wine and cheesey crisps instead.
Num.......
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-02 16:34:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bubba, you are the biggest turd on uber. If I'm an idiot, that makes you a fucking maroon. The fact that every other review you make is about me or chasing me down a post shows how hard you try to get my attention.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-01-02 16:32:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2008-01-02 16:31:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
And you are OFF of the front page, so stfu.
Submitted by StereoTypist (user info) at 2008-01-02 16:27:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2008-01-02 16:26:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by StereoTypist (user info) at 2008-01-02 16:22:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-02 16:21:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My dog just farted out some rank shit. Stereotypist is not an alter!
----------------
It makes me feel all fuzzy to know SOMEONE believes I'm a real person.
==========
Sico is not a someone. He's a fucking idiot.
-------------------------------
He may be an idiot, he may not. I don't have an opinion either way - but he believes I'm real so he gets to be on the "I love him" list.
Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2008-01-02 16:26:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by StereoTypist (user info) at 2008-01-02 16:22:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-02 16:21:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My dog just farted out some rank shit. Stereotypist is not an alter!
----------------
It makes me feel all fuzzy to know SOMEONE believes I'm a real person.
==========
Sico is not a someone. He's a fucking idiot.
Submitted by StereoTypist (user info) at 2008-01-02 16:24:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Leonore (user info) at 2008-01-02 16:24:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, no worries. I still think you're nice.
I'll change my rating.
-----------------------
Lol yay!
Submitted by Leonore (user info) at 2008-01-02 16:24:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, no worries. I still think you're nice.
I'll change my rating.
Submitted by StereoTypist (user info) at 2008-01-02 16:22:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-02 16:21:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My dog just farted out some rank shit. Stereotypist is not an alter!
----------------
It makes me feel all fuzzy to know SOMEONE believes I'm a real person.
Submitted by StereoTypist (user info) at 2008-01-02 16:21:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Leonore (user info) at 2008-01-02 16:20:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What's wrong with librarian glasses?
:(
---------------
Awes! I'm sorry! No frowny face! Nothing is wrong with them... it's just what people do with them that makes them bad. Like fetuses...
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-02 16:21:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My dog just farted out some rank shit. Stereotypist is not an alter!
Submitted by Leonore (user info) at 2008-01-02 16:20:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What's wrong with librarian glasses?
:(
Submitted by StereoTypist (user info) at 2008-01-02 16:17:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-01-02 16:17:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Its not that you are an alter that bugs me - its that you are an alter AND your fucking stupid.
-------------------
Ooooooh. Okay then. :)
xoxo
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2008-01-02 16:17:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
k, I love ya, g'bye
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-01-02 16:17:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Its not that you are an alter that bugs me - its that you are an alter AND your fucking stupid.
Submitted by StereoTypist (user info) at 2008-01-02 16:16:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-01-02 16:13:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Stop starin' at me.
----------------------
This is the picture my brother got from a chick he met via internet. And about 10 others that are the exact. Same. Pose. Turns out she's close to 300lbs....
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2008-01-02 16:16:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I just don't get it
Submitted by StereoTypist (user info) at 2008-01-02 16:15:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fine, I'm an alter. Does that make you happy? I am the ghost of an ouched previous poster.... Ooooogaaaa boooogaaaaa..... Now can we let it go?
Submitted by gascs (user info) at 2008-01-02 16:15:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
re: previous posts 1-16
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-01-02 16:13:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Stop starin' at me.
Submitted by DeadToast (user info) at 2008-01-02 16:12:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I thought this alter was dead and buried.
Alas, like so many other times I wished for death of strangers, I have been let down.