Doberman's make awesome pets. (764 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.66 on 35 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (View user info) at 2008-01-04 16:53:07 EST
I was with a friend of mine this past weekend. We went out for breakfast with his brother and got talking about dogs and how much they rule. His brother then told me a story.
They have an uncle. Their uncle has a doberman. Doberman's are the type of dog that like to ambush their prey. They wont bark when they see a stranger walk through the yard. They wont bark when a stranger first enters your house silently. They wait until you are in view and arent looking before they make their attack.
So, their uncle came home one day from work to see a window pane in his front door broken. The door was still locked, so he goes inside and finds nothing missing. He assumed it must have just blown out or something. He makes his way to the kitchen, grabs a beer from the fridge and walks into the living room to find his dog sitting near the couch. He sits on the couch and pets his dog as he begins to flip through the paper. He notices his dog, however, is breathing very heavily. Deep, slow breaths with lots of wheezing. He puts his beer down, brings his dog in his car and he drives to the vet's office.
Upon arriving to the vet's office they go inside. He sits in the examining room while the vet checks out the dog. The vet can tell there is something blocking the dogs airway in his throat. He grabs a pair of tongs and goes in. What did he find?
Well...
The vet pulled out two human fingers from the dogs throat.
Apparently, some black guy punched through the window pane to unlock the door. The dog bit his hand and chopped two of the guy's finger's off as he reached in to unlock the door.
When my friend's uncle returned home to further inspect around his broken window, he noticed some blood stains on the ground and on the inside of the door.
"Good boy!" he said, as he playfully pet his dog and gave him a treat.
User Reviews
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-01-07 10:29:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Your uncle is lucky he hasn't been sued yet by the burglar.
Submitted by Entaran (user info) at 2008-01-06 21:36:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Dogs who don't bark aren't specific to this breed (A very small number of breed's don't bark). We've had German Shepherds my entire life and one of them never used to bark, he took off a guys little finger one day in one go, and then chomped down on his arm. Fortunately for us, the dog was behind a 7 foot high fence with mesh on it so the court's ruled the would-be thief was trespassing and we didn't have to have him put down.
A dog most definately can take off a finger in one hit, especially a large dog such as a Doberman, Rottweiler and/or German Shepherd, even more likely if that dog is fed well and regularly chews bones etc to keep teeth in prime condition.
I'm not quite sure this story is 100% true or just adapted, but in either case it raises some interested questions.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-01-06 20:10:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2008-01-06 19:51:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, I know. I weighed up the idea of using the word "poodle" but it wouldn't have worked as well.
Trying to pass off an urban legend as an anecdote isn't new, but it does work better when there's some effort put into it. Your post was, frankly, pretty shitty.
Rather than pointing all that out - which I've now had to do, anyway - I made a short comment that was supposed to express dissatisfaction in a detached and ironic way.
Oh well.
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2008-01-06 13:14:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2, cause I'm a dog guy, through and through, but I'm a bit skeptical of a doberman biting off whole fingers. Having been bit and seeing many nasty dog bites on human flesh, I've never seen an appendage taken off. Not saying it couldn't happen, but it never has in my experience.
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2008-01-06 12:06:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2008-01-06 01:08:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That picture is of a Rottweiler.
You fail.
=====
http://www.riversidedobermans.com/
Thanks for playing.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-06 02:35:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-01-05 22:35:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ps- i will kill any dog that comes within 3 feet of me. i fucking hate those things. all they do is bark and shit.
--
You just described 90% of uber users.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-01-06 01:47:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
hahahahahaha
MINUS TWO
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2008-01-06 01:08:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That picture is of a Rottweiler.
You fail.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-01-05 22:35:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ps- i will kill any dog that comes within 3 feet of me. i fucking hate those things. all they do is bark and shit.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-01-05 22:34:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
whoop-id-dee-doo. i used to have two hamsters. one of them could get on it's back and put it's mouth to it's asshole. then it would take a shit and eat it as it was coming out. the other hamster was so hardcore, it chewed a massive tumor off it's side. sadly, it died the next day, but that's pretty fucking hardcore.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2008-01-05 20:29:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I guess it depends on the dog. I have a friend with two and they bark like crazy when someone comes to the door. They're really sweet dogs though, at least to me but then I've never tried to steal anything.
Submitted by regal1975 (user info) at 2008-01-05 19:19:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
good story, but i have my reservations.. friends doberman was very skiddish after a previous owner had abused him.. we were out in public for a camping trip at the time. The dog smelled my dog on me and we became good friends, he would curl up next to me to sleep at night. As people passed by, the dog would go nuts and bark viciously, and i would calm him down. He would lean into me and whimper until i pet him.. after a few days of this, the same thing happened, only after i pet him, he just decided it would be more fun to bite the hell out of me than to keep getting pet.. over a year since that happened and every time he sees me he tries to attack...
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-01-05 11:12:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2008-01-05 03:54:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"Doberman's"
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2008-01-04 23:55:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
1) Not fake. Choke yourself.
2) I could have written it better, you are correct. It was nearly end-of-work time so I rushed it. Sorry.
3) Yes. The title is grammatically incorrect. Sorry.
4) Beerfest is a sweet movie.
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2008-01-04 22:16:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
so the dog got 3 treats?
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-01-04 21:33:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-01-04 19:23:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
doodles is a child rapist
---
I have been outed.
WEEP
Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2008-01-04 20:56:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Doberman's. Should that be -Dobermen?
The puke who said "urban legend/myth was correct.
To the poster: This was dog shit. Pun intended.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-01-04 20:10:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Urban legend. Heard it at least twelve times.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-01-04 19:53:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I cannot abide typos in the title.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-01-04 19:23:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
doodles is a child rapist
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-01-04 18:46:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
.5
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-01-04 18:46:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This could have been awesome if you hadn't told it in this fashion. You should have written it like you were there, with dialogue and such.
Also I hate with a passion stories that begin with a friend of a friend or something similar. Try to do that less please
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-01-04 18:42:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
plus, they travel a little farther than a german shepherd when you hit them with a baseball bat
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-01-04 18:24:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I want a mountain lion. Nobody would fuck with my stuff if there was a mountain lion hanging out. Talk about death from above.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2008-01-04 18:05:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
cool.
you suck at apostrophing.
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2008-01-04 17:33:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes I realize it's grammatically incorrect. Thank you.
And the guy did end up going to the cops the next day. My friend wasnt sure if they caught the guy, even if they had his DNA and finger prints... and fingers. Maybe they thought losing 2 fingers was enough haha.
Submitted by Talibandrew (user info) at 2008-01-04 17:29:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
We don't have as much of a problem with the darkies as we do with them dirty meskins where I'm at.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-01-04 17:28:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Doberman is make awesome pets?
Submitted by turkeyslayer (user info) at 2008-01-04 17:22:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
not suprised it was a darkie
Submitted by Talibandrew (user info) at 2008-01-04 17:12:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So did they get a print off the fingers and catch the thieving darky?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-01-04 17:06:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
On a lighter note, my friend has recently got herself a rottweiller (spell?)
She has 5 kids, the youngest being a 2 year old.
At 8 months, it is already a beast and my 7 year old son is no longer permitted by me to sleep over. It attacks the older kids regularly with growing strength.
Good story. Yours, not mine.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-01-04 17:03:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You were only nice to me to get this +2 i would have given you anyway.:(
*kicks chair from under feet*
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-01-04 16:58:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
talk about getting caught with your hand in the cookie jar