How much piss is too much piss? (706 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.39 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by stok (View user info) at 2008-01-05 23:33:00 EST
When I was young (18-22) I did not have a steady job and I slept in a lot. I was so lazy from smoking weeds the night before that when I had to take a piss I just held it in, sometimes for hours. Once for a whole day.
The downside of those lovely sleep in's is that I now have to get up a couple of times a night to take a piss. Luckily I bought a house with an ensuite but it's still a hassle. You can't walk too quickly otherwise you will jangle yourself out of sleep. And you can't shake out the drops with the same vigour that you normally would. Which means that when you get back to bed you are bound to cop a trickle or two, but I just sk8 it off and go back to sleep. Until the other night.
I took a piss, came back to bed and rolled onto my stomach. 300mls of piss came shooting out and I was lying prone in a huge puddle of piss. 300 mls - that's metric - in imperial it's quart or a gill or quite simply a shitload of piss.
The puddle spread and my wife must have copped a bit of it.
"What the shit is that?" she said.
"Ah...I spilled my coffee from last night." I quickly said.
"But you don't drink coffee" was her puzzled reply.
"...lucky I spilled it then."
We are going to buy a new mattress today. The old one was was over ten years old anyway. I'm going to put the old one in the backyard and jump off the roof onto it.
User Reviews
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-01-07 14:21:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2008-01-07 04:41:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2008-01-07 00:53:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-01-06 20:04:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-01-06 20:03:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Bryanhoop (user info) at 2008-01-06 15:56:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hmmm
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-06 15:14:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-01-06 15:02:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think this post was made up but I enjoyed it nevertheless.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-01-06 14:39:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Some posts on Uber sound like Seinfeld episodes with extra graphic depictions of stuff - this is one of them.
Submitted by TheBrad (user info) at 2008-01-06 12:46:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Should have peed On your wife's butt. Oh, And it sounds like it is time for you to get a finger in the butt.
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2008-01-06 11:50:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
She should have kicked you in the nuts and gone off to sleep on the couch.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-01-06 11:33:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
what shlongy said
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-01-06 11:03:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
what shlongy said
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-01-06 09:12:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Piss off, bed wetter.
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2008-01-06 05:19:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-01-06 03:03:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Folks give you shit. I don't know why. This post isn't so bad. I pissed on our purple couch once. I loved that couch. Which is not to say I pissed on it because I loved it. I loved it, and I pissed on it. That is all I'm saying. The alarm on the TV is going off, signaling some possible wretched affair; I will go inspect.
_____________
Kindly lungfish. one of the good ones.
Submitted by Bohme (user info) at 2008-01-06 04:32:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love a good bed wetting story.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-01-06 04:10:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OMG sicosemen is a faggot.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-01-06 03:03:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Folks give you shit. I don't know why. This post isn't so bad. I pissed on our purple couch once. I loved that couch. Which is not to say I pissed on it because I loved it. I loved it, and I pissed on it. That is all I'm saying. The alarm on the TV is going off, signaling some possible wretched affair; I will go inspect.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2008-01-06 00:58:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
what the shit is this fuck?
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2008-01-06 00:22:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
B@W
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-01-06 00:09:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No.