ten tiny true stories and New Years Eve drunken yelling (or laughing or possibly singing) camwhore (1403 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.72 on 52 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jeanneee (View user info) at 2008-01-06 20:09:52 EST
1. At the Carolina Cup steeplechase, when I was 13 years old, I told the following joke to the senior pastor of Camden First Baptist Church: "How is a blonde like a turtle? Because if they fall on their backs, they're both screwed." My mom was furious and grounded me for a week. I thought it was hilarious, and I have a suspicion that the pastor did as well.
2. My junior year of high school, my best friend and I performed a violin duet during the spring recital. I was nervous, but we played well. I was pleased until I walked backstage, glanced downward, and discovered that my dress had come unbuttoned all the way to my sternum. My entire bra was exposed and had been since midway through the performance.
3. My parents divorced when I was 10. Though they remain good friends, they never seemed to have very much in common, and the origins of their relationship are something I've always been curious about. About 10 years ago I asked my mom how they ended up together. Her answer: "Pickings were slim."
4. I once met actress/model/70's personality Lauren Hutton in a restaurant in Hiawassee, Georgia. She was wearing a red-and-black checked lumberjack coat.
5. My family's dog Dixie died several weeks ago. I sat with her for two hours while she had uncontrollable bloody diarrhea. I cried and cried, not because she was dying (I had never felt any particular affection for Dixie), but because I was afraid she was in terrible pain and there was nothing I could do about it. When she stopped breathing, I was very relieved.
6. One of my college suitemates was so dirty that she actually attracted clouds of fruit flies, not unlike the Pigpen character from the comic strip "Peanuts." I'm a neurotic neat freak. Living with her was difficult. I drank a lot.
7. The night of a friend's 21st birthday party, I got so drunk that when the strap on my shoe broke, I threw them in the garbage and spent the rest of the night walking around downtown Athens barefoot. Street, bars, everywhere. Ew.
8. When I was 10, my dad took me on a trip to Washington, D.C. It was late January and it was very cold. I went outside one morning with damp hair, and my hair froze into little curly icicles that made a wonderful clicking noise when I shook my head. Almost 20 years later, I can still remember the sound vividly.
9. The movie Dawn of the Dead scared me so badly that I can't sleep alone in the house. I don't think I'll ever be able to live alone again because of it.
10. My greatest love and my greatest hate are the same person. I haven't seen him or spoken to him in over five years.
User Reviews
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2008-02-15 14:42:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Love.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-01-16 22:21:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-01-06 20:40:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah. I think it's time for Ubersite to get its karmic desserts for the whole UglyBabies.com thing.
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i will never apologize for that!
NEVAR!!!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-01-07 19:08:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't have his number. If I did, I would call him, and that would be a problem.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-01-07 19:08:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I guess that would explain why I've been called Chewbacca my whole life.
For real though, I think it's just the angle of the picture and the way my brow is furrowed. I tweeze religiously.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-01-07 19:08:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You should call him. Its very cathartic.
Submitted by Talibandrew (user info) at 2008-01-07 19:05:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You look like you have a unibrow.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-01-07 14:53:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I used to be on the swim team all the time. I lived close to the pool, so I'd walk or ride my bike to practice. I've had frozen hair innumerable times. It's cool.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2008-01-07 14:45:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah yeah
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-01-07 14:27:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-01-07 11:24:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-01-07 10:39:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I think she's texting someone.
I love this picture. Ben and Megan look totally normal and I look deranged. It's like someone photoshopped me in.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-01-07 10:16:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i see a sad princess. is she crying?
Submitted by EkO (user info) at 2008-01-07 09:23:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
#52
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-01-07 08:44:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2008-01-07 07:49:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-01-07 07:43:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i think its really cool that you can play the violin. i think, in all honesty, if i could go back and learn an instrument it would be the violin. but for guys, especially little guys who are like 10 years old, playing the violin will cause you to get your head split.
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-01-07 06:43:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Barefoot in Athens?
So now you have foot herpes?
BTW, GO DAWGS!
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2008-01-07 06:40:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What's all this violin playing and steeplechasing? I imagined your childhood was spend making meth or something.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-01-07 06:06:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-01-07 04:52:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
2. My junior year of high school, my best friend and I performed a violin duet during the spring recital. I was nervous, but we played well. I was pleased until I walked backstage, glanced downward, and discovered that my dress had come unbuttoned all the way to my sternum. My entire bra was exposed and had been since midway through the performance.
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I'll bet it was completely intentional. Whore.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2008-01-07 02:43:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-01-06 22:06:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Just once, I'd like to live in the southern hemisphere and have Christmas and New Years during high summer.
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Revillon is ok, but Carnival in both Rio (in the Samba Drome) and Salvador Bahia (in the streets) provide a world-class experience in hedonism on steroids
the private party that's located on SugarLoaf will change your life forever if you can afford, and then, survive it*
*<5Xparticipant>
Feliz Natal is meh
moo
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-01-07 01:05:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
validate me!!!!!!!!
i'm going to add you. wanna be friends?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2008-01-07 00:32:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
GO UGA WOO
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2008-01-06 23:38:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
One day, Scientists will find a cure for Kiwi jealousy. Until that day, the immigration laws at Bondi junction will remain "relaxed".
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-01-06 23:05:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
whatever you do, do not go to Sydney. It smells. more so than the rest of australia.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-06 22:52:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you look like you're having the bestest time EVAR!
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2008-01-06 22:48:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If you come to Sydney, I will hump your mouth.
It's ok, you'll be unconcious at the time.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-01-06 22:06:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Just once, I'd like to live in the southern hemisphere and have Christmas and New Years during high summer.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-01-06 21:53:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't even want to know what kind of new years picture there are of me floating around. i'm probably sweating balls in all of them. attractive.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-01-06 21:34:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I wish you could come here and clean my house.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2008-01-06 21:24:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-01-06 21:12:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't read this, but you are so happy in your camwhore that I had to +2 it.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-01-06 20:53:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-01-06 20:47:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
no no no...that was possibly the single most funny thing that ever happened here. karmic desserts would be of a positive nature for all the joy that whole debacle inspired.
i'm done camping here now.
you're all a bunch of whores.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-01-06 20:40:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah. I think it's time for Ubersite to get its karmic desserts for the whole UglyBabies.com thing.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-06 20:40:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.stopcyberbullying.org/
Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2008-01-06 20:39:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
have a great '08 sweetcheeks.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-06 20:37:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I just saw a commercial for stopping cyberbullying. Should I send them a link to this website?
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-01-06 20:35:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No, I'm pretty sure you've talked to me since five years ago.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-01-06 20:34:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm just giving you a hard time, dear heart. You're mean to everyone and it makes me laugh.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-01-06 20:33:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
oh c'mon...i haven't been so mean to you!
i think i only ever wrote maybe one horrid thing about you, and that was as much to needle at oathy as anything. i think i even apologized later. and even meant it. and i never do that.
or maybe i wrote two things.
i don't fucking know.
whose responsibility is it to keep track of these things for me?
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-01-06 20:28:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Please, that is by far not the worst thing you've ever said about me. In fact it's probably the nicest. So don't worry about it.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-01-06 20:27:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
upon review that last bit from me could be construed as being a slam at you, and it was in no way intended as such.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-01-06 20:25:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
aahahahahaha
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-01-06 20:24:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
it's funny how different from 'normal' we look when laughing or crying. i would never have been able to say, 'that is Jeannneeee' after viewing the pic, though i have seen plenty of other shots of you on this site. also funny that our laughing and crying and O-faces all tend to look pretty similar to each other.
^ that could be what Jeannneees O-face looks like.
though god knows i had no desire to know that.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-01-06 20:23:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
that bird at the bar is a dog
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-06 20:23:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
On the serious....we should get drunk together and then you can suck my hammer.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-01-06 20:18:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-01-06 20:18:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2008-01-06 20:18:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
10. My greatest love and my greatest hate are the same person. I haven't seen him or spoken to him in over five years.
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Funny how that works out, huh?
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-06 20:18:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You could use a shave.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-01-06 20:16:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm surprised you didn't turn pro at some point in your life