Seven Very Tiny True Stories + New Year's Camwhore (995 hits)
Category: Quotes & Stories -> PoetryRating: 0.35 on 35 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Celtic Mead (View user info) at 2008-01-07 01:23:33 EST
1) Right now it's pouring outside, I am at home by myself with nothing to do and the heater on full blast, and that is my idea of heaven.
2) On New Year's Day I had some imported Celtic Mead from a castle in England somewhere, I'm fuzzy on the details, but at any rate it was delicious. Smelled like honey, tasted like honey, felt like honey. It changed my life.
3) I wish I lived closer to Matt.
4) I have never had a driver's license.
5) I have spent this whole weekend recovering from gastroenteritis.
6) I am too lazy and uninteresting to write ten stories. Kiss my big black ass.
7) I got my nose pierced right after this picture was taken on New Year's Eve.
User Reviews
Submitted by kristy (user info) at 2008-06-08 03:24:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Jesus you are one ugly bitch
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-04-09 23:36:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
<3
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-01-31 17:08:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Retal +2 haha
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-01-08 12:14:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Cool it there, Mr. MVM.
Submitted by DeadToast (user info) at 2008-01-08 08:33:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Christ, you're a moody, whiny one.
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-01-07 20:07:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Lookie here, baby, if you had seen me without the makeup caked on you would be praying for me to put it back on. I need it. Don't take it away from me. What if I posted a really ugly camwhore, can you imagine the comments? Oh, wait...
Anyway, in life outside of uber, I get plenty of compliments on my eyes. It's not like I'm trying to pretend it's natural, that's the whole point. I like the look of obvious makeup. Everybody knows I cake it on, that's the whole point. On the other hand, wouldn't it be more lame if I was really ugly and I tried to make it "subtle"? It would look like I had something to hide. This way, nobody thinks I think I'm hot. See? It's perfect!
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-01-07 20:02:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-01-07 20:00:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Where's your camwhore, bee-yotch?
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what you speak is true. there can be no retaliation. don't worry, in due time you will be able to tell me that I look like mouldy placenta - but I can pretty much guarantee you won't be able to make fun of my eyeliner.
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-01-07 20:00:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Where's your camwhore, bee-yotch?
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-01-07 19:47:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm unfunny with no appeal?
:(
maybe you should take off some of the multitudes of eyeliner you so dearly love and you might be able to read shit from time to time.
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-01-07 16:57:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
but she's so unfunny! where's the appeal?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-01-07 16:51:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-01-07 19:01:37 GMT (#)
Ranking: -2
these were the lamest stories ever. your life must be SO MUCH FUN!!!!!!!!
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You will grow to like Toe. It is inevitable. Her sharp, caustic comments can light up my day.
*laughs evil, terrifying laugh*
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-01-07 14:22:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Toe, I think I know why everybody thinks you're a bitch!
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-01-07 14:01:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
these were the lamest stories ever. your life must be SO MUCH FUN!!!!!!!!
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2008-01-07 12:48:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I will get my mouse pierced.
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-01-07 12:24:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2008-01-07 09:20:39 PST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-01-07 09:48:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You're pretty but this post was boring.
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See #6 my friends. I have had an interesting life but don't have the talent or patience to bring it to writing, unfortunately.
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2008-01-07 12:20:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-01-07 09:48:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You're pretty but this post was boring.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-01-07 12:10:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
AIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...
What's that a picture of?
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-01-07 12:06:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-01-07 03:46:03 PST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for not having a lisence. I have a friend just like you. We have been giving him rides for 12 years and he still won't learn how to drive. Get off your ass and go get a lisence.
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Listen here, dumbass. I don't depend on other people for rides. I'm not one of those morons that hangs around waiting for people to take me home. I take care of myself, thanks. Also, I know how to spell license.
BTW, I was eleven years old in 1993, not quite ready for a nose piercing. Sue me.
Submitted by Leonore (user info) at 2008-01-07 12:06:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-01-07 09:48:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Mead +2. That is all.
===
Seconded.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-01-07 11:41:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Gastroenteritis? Ugh.
I would let Brian Setzer sweat all over me, too, and I'm not even gay. Guitar god that he is.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-07 11:12:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 catching up on old posts and calling me a pig. hahaha, what a sheep you are!
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-01-07 09:48:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Mead +2. That is all.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-01-07 09:48:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You're pretty but this post was boring.
Submitted by EkO (user info) at 2008-01-07 09:21:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
#57
Submitted by DeadToast (user info) at 2008-01-07 07:40:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Nose piercing?
How 1993 of you.
Submitted by DeadToast (user info) at 2008-01-07 07:40:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Nose piercing?
How 1993 of you.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-07 07:28:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You went from Meh, to barely fuckable (only because you had a sign with my name in it), to down right fugly sequentially in your camwhores. Good luck looking like that. Also, I hope you have a speedy recovery, flat dick.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-01-07 07:04:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-01-07 06:46:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for not having a lisence. I have a friend just like you. We have been giving him rides for 12 years and he still won't learn how to drive. Get off your ass and go get a lisence.
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"You know how to fly a plane, don't ya?"
"No, do you?"
- Indy Anna Lyra and the Temple of Poon
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-01-07 06:46:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for not having a lisence. I have a friend just like you. We have been giving him rides for 12 years and he still won't learn how to drive. Get off your ass and go get a lisence.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-01-07 04:15:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Are you the one with the whip and the fighting of nazis and the hatred of snakes?
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-01-07 02:35:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I think the Reverend Horton Heat plays there like every night, or at least they did when I lived there. I don't remember if I've been to the Catalyst or not. I saw the Brian Setzer Orchestra ages ago, maybe it was there. It must have been, because there's nowhere else to go in S.C. I was right up close to the stage, and his clean, hot sweat was flying all over us. Mmm... The drummer in the band that opened for them gave me a drumstick... no that's not a euphemism, I still have the drumstick.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-01-07 02:25:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You should get a drivers license.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2008-01-07 02:24:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like Santa Cruz. Been there several times. Stayed away from the ocean most of the time though, too cold for me.
The photo here http://www.ubersite.com/m/71358 was from the train tracks and trestle leading towards downtown and that industrial area down the drainage channel? Been a few years since I got up there.
The Catalyst? I think that was the place I was at for Reverend Horton Heat.
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-01-07 02:06:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually it was Santa Cruz. Very windy.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2008-01-07 02:00:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
ice plant on the coast, such a SoCal thing. it covers the cliffs down here in san diego.