Toast (351 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.33 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by orph (View user info) at 2008-01-07 09:17:38 EST
Building upon yesterday's triumph, Wallace decided to add butter to the toast, and boil two eggs, instead of one. Static excitement buzzed throughout the kitchen as the water boiled and the toaster sat dormant, awaiting the slices of bread that it would soon savage to a golden brown within its flaming innards.
Wallace had been in an accident three years ago, and was slowly rebuilding his life. However, it was a long and painfully slow process - the furthest he'd ever rebuilt up to was mid afternoon, and after that he'd reverted to a catatonic state of listlessness for two weeks afterwards.
You see, Wallace had taken the doctor's advice rather too literally, and perhaps it also had something to do with the extensive head injuries he'd suffered when the train he'd been travelling on had derailed at 120 miles per hour. Wallace was ejected through the newly broken window, freshly prepared for him by his face, and catapulted onto an iron-grated fence. As he sat twitching, impaled on a spike, his brain shut down in a last act of self-preservation.
As a result, when he awoke in the hospital, surrounded by the stark lack of flowers or cards from well-wishers, Wallace did not know who he was, where he was, or what had happened.
The nurse who looked after Wallace through those long days and nights of rehabilitation was very tired after another long day and night of helping Wallace with his rehabilitation.
Alice left the hospital and drove straight home. Clouds churned on the horizon, with lightening hanging in the air, waiting to strike as she passed underneath. She thought about debilitating mental illness, and writing prose for a loved one as she continued on, swerving and dodging the crackling power of the sky's anger that crashed about her.
Once home, Alice made toast, with cheese. It always reminded her of her childhood, and how she would peel back the melted cheese, and flick it onto her brother's bare legs, leaving red welts as he screamed and ran away. Alice sat down on the faded upholstered chair she had rescued from the accident next door and dreamt of burying things in the ground.
She thought of the countless things that had been stuffed into the outer crust of the earth. Graves since human time began cluttered the dirt six feet down with bones; keepsakes of lovers lost and pirate treasures abounded, along with the foundations of every civilisation ever known, and unknown.
It's a wonder there is ever any room for anymore.
Franklin tucked the blanket around Alice and smoothed it over her slowly rising chest. He marvelled at her perfect breasts as she breathed in, and grimaced at her less than perfect face as she exhaled. He had loved her in his own fashion since before they were married, but had fallen further from bliss as the years uncovered the unpleasantness of her nature.
Sighing for the years he had lost, he pushed the pillow harder over her face, and held on as she drifted away, a final rattling snore signifying Alice's last moments.
The cheese had congealed and formed a soft yellow crust, but it was still quite tasty as he finished the toast.
Wallace waited and waited, and then waited the next day for Alice to change his sheets and help him dress. Wallace, at last check, was still waiting.
He never got any further through the day than burnt toast.
User Reviews
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-01-09 04:56:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Considering this was written by an orphan this is extreemly good.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-01-09 04:13:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-01-07 18:48:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-01-07 17:52:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
NOT HERE.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-01-07 14:25:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Burials are SO pre-millennial. Cremation is what all the cool cats do now.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-01-07 10:19:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2008-01-07 09:21:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Unfortunately, licking your computer screen does not offer the same results as actually consuming said toast. Gyp.
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Welcome to my life. But for me it isn't toast, it's porn.
And I'm not licking the screen. But my floppy drive no longer works.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-01-07 10:13:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
She thought of the countless things that had been stuffed into the outer crust of the earth. Graves since human time began cluttered the dirt six feet down with bones; keepsakes of lovers lost and pirate treasures abounded, along with the foundations of every civilisation ever known, and unknown.
It's a wonder there is ever any room for anymore.
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I've often wondered that myself.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-01-07 10:04:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Cheers - pics will be tomorrows post. email offer still up for it.
yeah, why not, but only if non-gay.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-07 09:57:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome, as per your usual. Pictures of your vacation? My email offer, if you are still interested?
Gay fuck in a non-gay way?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-01-07 09:33:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2008-01-07 09:21:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I did not read this, but am giving you this +2 b/c that piece of toast looks so fucking good right now.
Unfortunately, licking your computer screen does not offer the same results as actually consuming said toast. Gyp.