Ten Tiny True Stories. Word Up. (668 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.54 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (View user info) at 2008-01-07 10:09:53 EST
I enjoy bandwagons.
1) When I was growing up there was a black kid who would come down every summer and lived down the street from me with his grandparents. We were best friends. I never understood why some people would be mean to him. Another kid who lived in my neighborhood spray painted, "NIGGER" on his garage door. That same kid used to give me shit for hanging out with my black friend. This was my introduction to racist people. I was 8.
2) My friend had dry ice and mixed it in a bottle of water. He put the cap on and threw it down his dead end street. It exploded and made the loudest sound I'd ever heard. We then proceeded to make dry ice bombs and throw them at things. He almost blew his hands off.
3) When I saw the movie Child's Play, I was 4. I had one of those dolls, "My Buddy and Me," and the movie scared me so much that I locked the doll in my closet. I left it there for 2 years. After the 2 years was up, my dad and I stuffed it with M80s and blew it up.
4) I chopped off my sister's index finger in a glass sliding door when she was 2 and I was 6. She screamed so loud I ran to my tree fort and hid there for an hour and a half. I was afraid of what my mother would do to me. Her finger got re-attached and is slightly longer now. It was an accident.
5) I got in trouble with the cops 5 times in one year when I was 12.
6) My older brother and I got in a fight one time because he was being a dickhead. He had me in a head lock and was punching me in the spine. I stabbed him in the leg with a pen and he cried. That is still my only victory against him.
7) I lost my virginity in my Jeep when I was in high school. Back then, having sex in a bed was a luxury. 98% of the sex I had was in my car.
8) I am terrified to go skinny dipping because I'm afraid something will try to bite my peenar off.
9) My senior year of high school, during a hockey game against our most rivaled school, a kid cross checked me from behind. I hit the glass face first. It hurt so bad I could barely turn my head, but I wanted to keep playing so I acted like it didn't hurt. He got a 10 minute major for it. The next period, I shoulder checked him in the neck so hard his helmet broke and he got carried off by his coaches. He did not return. From there, the game got completely out of hand. Five fights broke out in the stands. When the game ended, we had to be escorted out of the rink by cops.
10) In 4th grade a kid named James brought a knife to school to stab another kid named Darrel because he was a dweeb. At recess, James pulled out the knife and made his way for Darrel behind the playground. I punched James in the neck. He fell to one knee and I kicked him in the stomach. He dropped the knife and I threw it in the woods. He never bothered Darrel again. After recess Darrel glued his head to his chair. That is the only fight I've ever been in. Darrel never thanked me.
User Reviews
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-04-11 11:02:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-01-07 10:14:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
8) I am terrified to go skinny dipping because I'm afraid something will try to bite my peenar off. """
one of my older brothers used to swim around with water googles and bite our dicks through speedos when we were children.
it was very gay and annoying.
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i wish i could put this in a bold 72 font....
WTF?!
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-04-11 10:46:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/114095
linkback
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-04-11 10:24:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-01-07 18:45:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-01-07 18:40:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-01-07 15:01:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
#2. Done that. Fun as hell.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2008-01-07 14:49:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Not a good gawdamned thing.
...
*sighs*
*cries*
*cuts self while listening to the Cure*
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-01-07 14:44:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
forgot to rate.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-01-07 14:43:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2008-01-07 11:29:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
One of the unnoticed side-benefits from having an eensy weensy peenar is that it becomes an 'innie' in cold water/embarrassing situations.
...
Not that I would know, of course.
*shifty look*
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dude, you have absolutely nothing going for you do ya?
*shudders*
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2008-01-07 14:25:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-01-07 12:32:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-01-07 11:42:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2008-01-07 11:29:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
8) I am terrified to go skinny dipping because I'm afraid something will try to bite my peenar off.
One of the unnoticed side-benefits from having an eensy weensy peenar is that it becomes an 'innie' in cold water/embarrassing situations.
...
Not that I would know, of course.
*shifty look*
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2008-01-07 11:28:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-01-07 11:24:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
8) I am terrified to go skinny dipping because I'm afraid something will try to bite my peenar off.
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+2 for that alone.
Submitted by EkO (user info) at 2008-01-07 10:41:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
#14
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-01-07 10:31:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i dunno... he could of teased you with his snorkle
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-01-07 10:27:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i meant "reinvent himself"
reinvent new techniques doesn't make any sense.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-07 10:26:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed at caul.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-01-07 10:24:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2008-01-07 10:19:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
haha Caul. That's awful.
has your brother come out of the closet yet? or is he just a weirdo? what was the deal with that?
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he's married.
dunno...he probably thought he was funny. he liked to hurt me and my little brother so i guess he had to reinvent new techniques.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-01-07 10:22:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My buddy,
My buddy,
My buddy and meeeeeeeeeeee!
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2008-01-07 10:19:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
haha Caul. That's awful.
has your brother come out of the closet yet? or is he just a weirdo? what was the deal with that?
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-01-07 10:18:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-01-07 15:14:29 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
8) I am terrified to go skinny dipping because I'm afraid something will try to bite my peenar off. """
one of my older brothers used to swim around with water googles and bite our dicks through speedos when we were children.
it was very gay and annoying.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-01-07 10:17:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hahahaha caul
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-01-07 10:17:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Caul just made me laugh more than any of these shitty bandwagon posts.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-01-07 10:14:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
8) I am terrified to go skinny dipping because I'm afraid something will try to bite my peenar off. """
one of my older brothers used to swim around with water googles and bite our dicks through speedos when we were children.
it was very gay and annoying.
Submitted by Leonore (user info) at 2008-01-07 10:13:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Explosions, violence towards one's siblings and peers, sex and peenar.
Classic Uber.