Ten Tiny True Stories (now with more camwhorage!!) (1043 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.87 on 41 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by JulsInsane (View user info) at 2008-01-07 13:08:25 EST
10. When I was four years old a neighbor boy and I decided to have a go at "show me yours and I'll show you mine". I showed him mine, and then he ran away. Gyp.
9. I was a very obstinate as a small child. On my first Holy Communion I didn't want to pose for photographs. I enraged my mother to the point where she slapped me across the face hard enough for me to start sobbing. I couldn't take any pictures red eyed with a big red handprint on my face. I remember thinking as I was crying, "Haha you can't take photos now".
8. I had a dog named Comet when we lived in London. I believed that we had sent him to live on a farm until I was 16. Apparently he was smushed to death by a truck right in front of me when I was 4 and I repressed the memory.
7. I lost my virginity on prom night in a hotel room. Every time I watch a teen movie I am reminded of it.
6. I had a bit of a drinking issue during my first year in university. One night I drank a bottle of Absolut for no real reason and then tried to put my hand through a solid core fire rated door. The door won, the third knuckle of my hand is still weird looking.
5. I have jumped out of a plane, bungee jumped, ride motorcycles, but I'm frightened shitless of movies like "The Shining".
4. I love old crappy Stallone movies. I think I am the only female on earth that regularly quotes "Over the Top" "My whole body is an engine. This is a fireplug"
3. I too cut a small piece of the tip of my index finger off in a tragic meat slicer accident during a summer job.
2. I have had 4 concussions, broken all four fingers on each hand, my collar bone, torn a hip flexor, ACL, and knocked 3 teeth out.
1. When I am left in people's offices alone I always take all their paperclips and form a paperclip chain. If I can find paperclips I usually draw odd pictures of peeners on the 3rd or 4th Post it Note on a fresh pad.
User Reviews
Submitted by Replen (user info) at 2008-09-30 13:57:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2008-01-24 02:49:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're adorable.
What's with all the attractive people on Ubersite lately? I fear the universe might implode.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-01-08 21:00:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You are such a badass.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2008-01-08 08:28:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Everything you are = +2.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-01-07 18:49:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-01-07 18:39:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
#10 is apocryphal and you goddamn well know it.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-01-07 18:17:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
w00000000
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-01-07 17:20:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's a maxi dress
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It is awesome.
The print is stunning.
Maxi dresses are all the rage here, but being a wee 5ft and a *cough*, I can't wear them :(
Seriously, you look lovely.
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2008-01-07 17:14:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-01-07 16:57:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If they are the customer toilets in the background, the people behind you sure didn't have the best table in the house.
That is some blouse, there lady. Nice post.
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It's a maxi dress
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-01-07 16:57:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If they are the customer toilets in the background, the people behind you sure didn't have the best table in the house.
That is some blouse, there lady. Nice post.
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2008-01-07 16:05:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-01-07 13:10:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sniper
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I'm blanking on any good quotes from that film, despite its obvious awesomeness
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-01-07 16:00:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
heh
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2008-01-07 15:55:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-01-07 15:53:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
alcoholic
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My nationality showing?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-01-07 15:53:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
alcoholic
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2008-01-07 15:50:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-01-07 15:47:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
is it just me or does that vase look like a yard glass? It makes me want to fill it up with beer and chug it down. then throw up over everyone. then have a shot of jager and another beer.
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Actually I think it was actually a yard glass, and I may or may not have done exactly that.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-01-07 15:47:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
is it just me or does that vase look like a yard glass? It makes me want to fill it up with beer and chug it down. then throw up over everyone. then have a shot of jager and another beer.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-01-07 15:12:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-01-07 15:09:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
#1. The post-its idea: It's mine now.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2008-01-07 15:04:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"When I turn my hat around, I become, like a machine. Like a truck."
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-07 14:40:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
awwww!!
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-01-07 14:07:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2008-01-07 14:06:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2008-01-07 13:49:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-01-07 13:47:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I can almost see your tits.
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I'm looking straight down right now and I too can ALMOST see them
:-)
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-01-07 13:49:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's a very big vase.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-01-07 13:47:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I can almost see your tits.
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2008-01-07 13:41:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YOU ROCK
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2008-01-07 13:37:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2008-01-07 13:35:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus, what did you do to your hands?
You interest me.
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Years of playing rugby
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2008-01-07 13:35:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus, what did you do to your hands?
You interest me.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-01-07 13:34:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
4. I love old crappy Stallone movies. I think I am the only female on earth that regularly quotes "Over the Top" "My whole body is an engine. This is a fireplug"
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This is particularly awesome. That was my favorite movie as a child, to the point where I even once cut off all the sleeves of every shirt I owned and told everyone I was going to be a proffesional arm wrestler when I grew up.
That lasted until I was arm-wrestling my cousin, who was an adult, and a mason by trade, which meant he is a very big guy.
Halfway into the bout, while still holding my hand, punched me square in the nose, and it started bleeding.
Thus was the end of that dream.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-01-07 13:31:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-01-07 13:09:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
<3
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2008-01-07 13:26:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
4. I love old crappy Stallone movies. I think I am the only female on earth that regularly quotes "Over the Top" "My whole body is an engine. This is a fireplug"
...and I'm gonna light him up.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-01-07 13:26:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-01-07 13:25:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you look all soft and shiny and make-up-y... it's unsettling.
get back to drinking booze out of a shoe, eh?
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2008-01-07 13:17:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-01-07 13:15:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha, you're a girl
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Thats the rumor
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2008-01-07 13:16:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-01-07 13:15:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha, you're a girl
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-07 13:14:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
We should fuck.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2008-01-07 13:14:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
2. I have had 4 concussions, broken all four fingers on each hand, my collar bone, torn a hip flexor, ACL, and knocked 3 teeth out.
So...you're one of those angry drunks, eh?
Please don't stab me with a butcher knife.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2008-01-07 13:12:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hi :)
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-01-07 13:10:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sniper
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-01-07 13:09:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
<3