Ten Tiny True Stories (USN Edition) and an unrelated fingerprint camwhore (762 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.7 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by skrapmetal (View user info) at 2008-01-07 14:06:05 EST
1. I played an electric guitar through headphones on the Flight Deck of the USS Enterprise during a "Steel Beach" party. My picture was taken while doing this and it's included in the commemorative Cruise Book.
2. I played Frisbee with a couple buddies on the Flight Deck of the USS Enterprise a bit later during that same "Steel Beach" party. The Frisbee went off the Flight Deck and, since Frisbees float, it was retrieved by the crew of the Admiral's Gig. They were unable to throw it the 120 feet back up to the Flight Deck, so I never got it back.
3. "Climbing Mojo Mountain" requires you to leave the US Navy Base at Subic Bay, Philippines and cross the Shit River Bridge into Olongopo City, walk up one side of the street, enter each bar you come to and drink a glass of "Mojo", which is red liquid evil. Next bar, another glass of Mojo, until you reach D'Terrace at the end of the street, about a mile away from the bridge. Then you must return down the other side of the street doing the same thing. If you're alive when you get back to the Bridge, you have successfully climbed Mojo Mountain. I climbed Mojo Mountain. It took me one full day to do, because I stopped with some biddies at D'Terrace for a few hours where I had beer and a game of "Smiles" before continuing. It took me three full days to recover.
4. "Raisin Jack" is hooch made from raisins and brewer's yeast and nuclear-grade purified water in bottles in the engine room. I have operated the fluid systems of two Nuclear Reactors while so inebriated on Raisin Jack that I could barely stand up.
5. A buddy and I were in a bar in Japan. The bar had hundreds of little wind-up toys and funky lighters and things everywhere. On one of the speakers was stuck a big plastic wind-up key on a suction cup. My stunningly drunk buddy took the key off the speaker and stuck it to the middle of his forehead and walked around like that. He was about to pass out when he grabbed the key and pulled it off his head. It left a 3" round bright red hickey, oddly reminiscent of symbol on a Kamikaze headband. When he passed out, one of the Japanese guys wanted to write on his head, but I got my buddy out of there before that could happen.
6. It took me almost three hours to realize that the family that met me in Perth, Australia to "go back to their place for a swim and a few chooks and shrimps for the barbie and then a run up to the sand for some tubes and dirtbiking" even though they didn't know me at all really did want to go back to their place for a swim and a meal and then go out to the dunes to drink beer and ride motorcycles. My American paranoia was finally overcome by their innate friendliness, and a splendid time was finally had by all.
7. I and three buddies drank all the beer in the entire Hilton Hotel in Karachi, Pakistan in five hours at their outdoor cafe. All 26 1-liter bottles. During that time I also had the worst spaghetti ever.
8. While browsing the rug shops in Karachi, a rugmonger escorted me to the rear of his shop where he furtively showed me a rug woven into a picture of a bikini-clad white blonde woman holding a six-pack of beer. I did not buy it.
9. I bought a large and beautiful opal in Australia. I gave it to my mom. She gave it to My Lovely Wife for our 10th anniversary.
10. The coolest thing I ever saw in my time in the US Navy was the collection of giant buildings growing between the Harbor and the Jungle in Hong Kong. Incredible.
User Reviews
Submitted by Falafel (user info) at 2008-01-07 19:18:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
7. I and three buddies drank all the beer in the entire Hilton Hotel in Karachi, Pakistan in five hours at their outdoor cafe. All 26 1-liter bottles. During that time I also had the worst spaghetti ever.
-----------------
I once ordered poutine (note for non-QC/Eastern Canada residents: ingredients are fries, delicious dark gravy that's somewhat runny, mozzarella cheese curds, pixie dust)in Alberta. I was served hard bread chunks with nasty chunky gravy and melted Cheez Whiz. Gross.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-01-07 18:34:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-01-07 18:34:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Leonore (user info) at 2008-01-07 16:29:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Military tech-types are as kickass as normal people can be.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-01-07 16:28:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This exchange makes me happy:
you have clean fingernails
---
I brush my teeth before I bite my nails.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-01-07 16:26:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Toe - I work with my hands. They suffer. It's worth it.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2008-01-07 16:21:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just saw a show called fight quest about phillipino stick fighting.
It is amazing how much alike south east asian countries look...
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-01-07 16:06:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
your cuticles make me want to cry. gross.
You trusted aussies? bad decision.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-01-07 15:46:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-01-07 15:28:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2008-01-07 14:53:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I want to investigate car wrecks.
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2008-01-07 14:49:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you have clean fingernails
-----
Triangle: Get an Engineering degree and a State license, take a few more classes and write some papers on the subject, then pass a national certification exam and get deposed a few times. Or, you can be a cop and take a two-week course in how to operate a computer program. The courts weigh either 'qualification' equally.
Jules: It's because I brush my teeth before I bite my nails.
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2008-01-07 15:22:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-01-07 15:09:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2008-01-07 15:00:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice work on #7.
My buddies and I polished off the only bottle of Jack Daniels we could find while in Cancun on spring break.
Funny how whiskey isn't big down there.
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2008-01-07 14:53:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I want to investigate car wrecks.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-01-07 14:51:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-01-07 13:21:53 CST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2008-01-07 14:13:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have the coolest dad ever.
-----
*beams*
================
Wait, WHAT???
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2008-01-07 14:49:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you have clean fingernails
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-01-07 14:37:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-07 14:28:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Any non-military related stories? For fuck's sake, I felt as though I was watching a platoon flashback.
-----
Childhood, High School, College, Jobs, Dating, Home Projects, Home Building, Biohazardous Encounters, or Other. Choose a category.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-07 14:28:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Any non-military related stories? For fuck's sake, I felt as though I was watching a platoon flashback.
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2008-01-07 14:25:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-01-07 14:22:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-01-07 14:21:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2008-01-07 14:13:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have the coolest dad ever.
-----
*beams*
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-01-07 14:17:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks, Mudwhistle, but that pic is one I took while investigating a car crash in my current job. It's a good job. I wouldn't want the increased visibility and incredible amount of paperwork involved with being a Nuclear Project Manager. Not to mention the pay cut; I have a house to pay off this year, you know.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2008-01-07 14:14:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No...Way.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2008-01-07 14:13:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2008-01-07 14:13:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have the coolest dad ever.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-01-07 14:12:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
everytime i see USS Enterprise i think of star trek and i'm unable to picture a proper boat. :-(
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2008-01-07 14:11:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for making me remember the Philippines.
...
I still wonder if I have an illegitimate kid or two wandering around there.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2008-01-07 14:10:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
There ain't no drink like radioactive jailhouse wine.
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2008-01-07 14:10:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Outstanding!!
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-01-07 14:09:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://southjersey.craigslist.org/trd/527292408.html