Ten stories (632 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.59 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <Iwanttoliveonabus> (View user info) at 2008-01-07 17:51:29 EST
1. I am shockingly pale; during my first and only half-day skiing trip I applied sunscreen like it was going out of fashion and still burnt my eyelids and ears, which remains my most embarrassing injury to date, not to mention the excruciating pain of not being able to blink.
2. My nose stud fell out on New Year's Day because I was having sex with a pillow over my head so that the person in the next room couldn't hear.
3. I have a terrible credit rating. When I was 21 I got my first and last credit card, bought a ticket to Australia and spent the credit limit in a month.
4. When I was four, I told my teachers I had an older sister who died which was why my parents loved me. I then forgot I'd done it until parents evening when they told my mum and dad they were 'so sorry for their loss'. I felt bad about that. Then promptly forgot about it again.
5. When horribly drunk one Halloween I stole a pumpkin from someone's front yard and while running away with it the bottom collapsed and rotten pumpkin goo ruined my favourite trousers.
6. My favourite time of life was just before I left home, when I knew with absolute certainty that life was going to get better.
7. I subscribe to Whiskas Kitten News even though I don't have a cat.
8. Back when I did have a cat, it brought a half-dead mouse into the house and in the process of my trying to rescue it, the mouse fell down the stairs, off the roof and finally, as we were about to put it out of its misery by chopping it with a spade, died, probably from a massive heart attack.
9. I ran a striptease in my classroom's Wendy house when I was six. I didn;t strip, I just collected the money.
10. Once I found a rabbit with myxamatosis. But I don't like that story.
User Reviews
Submitted by TechnoRatty (user info) at 2008-01-08 12:11:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My Bad
11. When I was four and on my first day at school, I told Billy (aged 5) that the teachers store cupboard was the toilet, he promptly marched in dropped his grey school shorts and did the biggest smelliest dump on the floor you could possibly imagine..... (I admitted nothing)
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-01-08 09:20:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ok
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-08 07:22:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
HBTS association auto -2.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-01-08 04:29:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Actually, you're right.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-01-08 04:28:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ummm no it wasnt Mr Bonkeye but thanks for the concern
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-01-08 04:27:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-01-08 09:24:18 GMT (#)
Ranking: -1
oH DEAR, WORST IVE SEEN BUT HEY!! WOOT WOOT
============
To be fair, it was a step up from yours!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-01-08 04:24:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
oH DEAR, WORST IVE SEEN BUT HEY!! WOOT WOOT
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-01-08 04:12:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
RE: #9 - HAHAHAHAHAHA you cheap pimp bitch.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-01-07 20:56:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Now, if we could just convince you to jump off the tenth story...
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-01-07 19:46:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-01-07 18:29:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
. Back when I did have a cat, it brought a half-dead mouse into the house and in the process of my trying to rescue it, the mouse fell down the stairs, off the roof and finally, as we were about to put it out of its misery by chopping it with a spade, died, probably from a massive heart attack.
how the hell did it fall off the stairs and then off the roof?
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-01-07 18:22:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i dunno - seemed pretty ho hum.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-01-07 18:07:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
As cute as I suspect you are. No camwhore :(
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-01-07 18:04:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Iwanttoliveonabus (user info) at 2008-01-07 17:56:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Friction, hence the end of my piercing. I just wanted to get in on the uber action...
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-01-07 17:54:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
no offence, but i didn't care about any of those things. at all, except for the nose stud, how does putting a pillow over your head make it fall out?