Poor Pat (252 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.55 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Eugene_Luther (View user info) at 2008-01-08 06:42:40 EST
Pat was a wartime dispatch rider, the lucky custodian of a Norton 500cc bike, the engine of which could deliver 240 violent blows per minute to the base of the spine.
After a gruelling ten hour, all night torture at the hands of this unforgiving monster, Pat was eagerly looking forward to seeing his welcome bed, but was forestalled in this endeavour by the sergeant, who warned him to be on parade at nine hundred hours sharp.
"But Sarge", protested Pat, "I'm all in, I've been riding all night."
"Sorry lad, " retorted the N.C.O. "It's nine A.M., or report sick."
Pat opted for sick parade, but wisely rejected the old chestnut of back ache and when up before the M.O., who barked "Complaint?" Pat replied "Stomach-ache, Sir."
"Appendicitis", pronounced the medical genius, "Report to Winchester surgical unit. Next."
Pat was staggered, but he reckoned he would get a night's sleep at least.
At the hospital, the innocent appendix was removed, following which, complications arose, leading to pneumonia.
After nine months in hospital, Pat emerged, sadder but wiser; meanwhile the rest of us kept the war going on without him.
User Reviews
Submitted by DeadToast (user info) at 2008-01-08 10:30:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Words fail.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-01-08 10:30:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
sharp knife below
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-01-08 10:27:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
so.
are you just using uber as a notepad of sorts? a place to hold ideas for things you'll write later? because that's what this seems like.
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2008-01-08 10:27:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Mommy, please ask the retard to leave. He frightens me.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2008-01-08 07:31:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This post makes you deserve to catch AIDS.
Not the good type of AIDS, but the type of AIDS where you get hit by a bus and spend the rest of your AIDS infested life paralysed in a wheelchair, and your health worker turns your wheelchair so that it faces a giant wall of gay porn and goatse.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-08 07:19:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I will no longer read anything you publish.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-01-08 07:13:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-01-08 06:51:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Why?
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-01-08 06:46:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Terrible.