I'd rather play with a rabid badger than any of these toys. (1311 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.03 on 50 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by DeadToast (View user info) at 2008-01-08 10:52:43 EST
User Reviews
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2008-01-09 08:29:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
A point for some creativity, but the first two were almost word for word. Yeesh.
Submitted by Empathetic (user info) at 2008-01-09 07:29:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Everything has been done already, yet you still make the funny.
Fuck the haters, you are one of the few that actually do real posts anymore.
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2008-01-09 04:21:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2008-01-09 03:07:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i have a scratch n sniff pog that still smells like bubble gum to this day.
i bet it's giving me cancer.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-08 20:18:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
have to disagree. matchbox cars are not a do nothing toy, they provide HOURS of entertainment.
Just played cars two days ago, as a matter of fact.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-01-08 20:10:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Duuude.
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2008-01-08 17:56:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-01-08 17:43:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
my only problem with the slinky was that it got tangled up within itself so easily and once it did it was fucked.
pogs were the shit, back in the day.
you can find most of these toys in the dollar store. they're worth what you pay for them. if they cost you 75 bucks, theyd be more fun to play with.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-01-08 17:04:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
You give me 12/14/2007
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-01-08 16:31:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I got my parachute guys to work as a kid, mine even came with a slingshot, though that didn't turn out well.
Also, Chairman Meow, my cat, was castrated yesterday.
I feel bad for him, but he doesn't seem to mind, which confounds me.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-01-08 15:01:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-01-08 14:58:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-01-08 13:55:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
you're wordy and not very funny.
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I was pretty much going to say the same thing, although mine was going to be 'creative but not funny'
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creative if you like plagia.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-01-08 14:58:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-01-08 13:55:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
you're wordy and not very funny.
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I was pretty much going to say the same thing, although mine was going to be 'creative but not funny'
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-08 14:11:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shameless linkwhore, in case you never saw this...
http://www.ubersite.com/m/43579
Submitted by Zampano (user info) at 2008-01-08 14:00:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha.
Coincidentally, I had some relatives at my house over Thanksgiving break, one couple of which has a two or three year-old daughter with a Ball and Cup toy. With ten minutes to kill, I managed to master the game and retired before a younger, sprier challenger could rise up against me.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-01-08 13:57:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
wow, berty is right...
http://www.cracked.com/article_15697_10-classic-toys-why-they-suck.html
same pictures even.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-01-08 13:55:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
btw, there used to be tons of posts like this on here before - rants with pictures and captions.
you're wordy and not very funny.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-01-08 13:52:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i played with the Slip & Slide thing a lot as a kid. except for the deer flies who strike when you're wet and full of soap, it was awesome.
i also liked the paratroopers.
let me guess, you're an only child or had like one sibling and had all the gaming consoles and big useless toys kids todays have?
-2 for talking about jesus, again. seriously, you're obsessed.
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-01-08 13:52:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-01-08 13:50:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2008-01-08 12:25:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No "Bag Of Broken Glass"?
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I am almost not old enough to remember this.
I had the vibro-football game.
It totaly explains why I'm a hockey fan.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2008-01-08 13:46:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-08 13:38:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus, an actual post, not a chatroomesque look-at-cool-me HEY-caption-THIS oh-here's-a-camwhore-with-some-drivel-attached pile of shit.
Thanks, dt.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2008-01-08 13:26:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't dis the ball and cup.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-01-08 13:20:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i lived in iceland when I was five and we lived in an apartment building on the top floor. I loved to throw my gi joe parachute man off the porch to watch it float to safety until one day the little bastard caught an updraft and flew off to the ocean. it was a sad day indeed.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-01-08 12:38:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Delinquent Combs has to be one of the all time best uberfinds.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-01-08 12:29:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I enjoyed this thoroughly.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2008-01-08 12:25:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No "Bag Of Broken Glass"?
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2008-01-08 12:22:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-01-08 12:19:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
While I largely agree with your analysis, I protest on behalf of Matchbox cars and Barrel of Monkeys.
Don't ask me why, but those were great.
Submitted by cat_head (user info) at 2008-01-08 12:18:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hilarious.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-01-08 12:14:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2008-01-08 12:08:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Also, if you didn't have a backyard, you got to hear from all the kids that grew up in houses about how fun the slip'n'slide was. bastards.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2008-01-08 11:58:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Dude pogs were AWESOME.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-01-08 11:47:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
While the Slinky has been around for years as a toy, the best use for the Slinky is in the Sea O'Cubes environment. Each of these environments has at least one antisocial type. When that person is out of their cube, several Slinkies may be deployed along the top of the cube walls in the manner of scale-model barbed wire. A few camo accents here and there and an obviously fake plastic gun or five, maybe change their screensaver to a scrolling "Kill 'em all, let IT sort 'em out", and the scenario is complete. It works, I know. I did it to my Psychotic Friend Andy. How we laaaaaaaaghed (he rather maniacally, come to think of it).
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-08 11:21:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-01-08 11:19:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This is semi-plagerised from cracked.com.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2008-01-08 11:15:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I miss candy cigarettes. Not only were they candy, but they puffed powdered sugar out of the end so you could smoke.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-01-08 11:14:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ForensicGirl talks sense.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-01-08 11:12:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
All the research and development that goes into toys......heh, back in the 70's toy companies had a "tough shit, kid" policy.
I remember toys that didn't work. Ever. And a lot of them were broke before you even got them out of the package.
Hey, does anyone remember those plastic bubbles that came in a tube. You got a tube of some kind of polymer, and a plastic straw. You squeezed out a little wad of polymer and put it at the end of the straw. Supposedly you could make a plasticine, multicolored bubble.
Now here's what's funny......the fumes from the polymer was enough to get you high if you inhaled the air back out of the bubble. Or if you just sniffed the polymer. When you're a kid however you don't think of it as getting high. You just didn't give a shit that the bubble crap didn't really make good bubbles.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2008-01-08 11:11:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The best parachute men where the ones that came in the pop thingies and were really small. You pop the end of that little sonofabitch, watch him fly, and then pick him up and continue throwing him in the air.
The best is when you convince your cousin to pop the jumper guy while you try to shoot him out of the air with the hose, but then shoot your cousin in the face with the hose. Fun had by all.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-08 11:07:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, sure.
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2008-01-08 11:04:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
pure toast
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-01-08 11:03:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=5PPALjsg0rE
HOLY SHIT!
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2008-01-08 11:03:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I got to the Slip'n Suicide and had to give you a +2.
Off to read the rest.
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2008-01-08 11:02:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-01-08 11:01:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/91980
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-01-08 10:58:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
http://www.cracked.com/article_15697_10-classic-toys-why-they-suck.html
Recently.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-01-08 10:58:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!
Some truths about shitting dog...
- My daughter calls it her Pooping Dog.
- The Shit/ Food Pellets are magnetic and thus spin wonderful thoughts of replacing those magnetic bracelets people wear for health with magnetic lined shit pile necklace charms.
- The Dog turns its head, lifts it's ears, and smiles when it shits.
Submitted by DeadToast (user info) at 2008-01-08 10:58:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No.
Did they do this?
Fucking internet. Can't do shit without somebody else doing it before you.
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2008-01-08 10:57:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Slip n Slide, Alligator Alley, Crocodile Mile...all fantastic in the summer time. Getting hurt was half the fun (via not stopping, not rubber burn).
Parachute guys were fun to throw off my deck with M80s attached. My dogs tried to catch them after they blew up and fell to the ground. Good times.
I enjoyed this post.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-01-08 10:56:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Cracked.com fan?