Callaway County (584 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.66 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by FLAK (View user info) at 2008-01-08 12:55:07 EST
Recently my company asked me to rescue a retail store that was failing miserably due to months of mismanagement. This store is located in neighboring Callaway County about 30 miles outside the city where I reside.
Callaway County, Missouri, best known for meth, mullets, and child molestation, has a rich and somewhat unique history marked by its actions during the Civil War. It is a widely held belief that Callaway County seceded from the Union separate from the Confederacy. When the Confederacy was readmitted to the Union after the war, there was no mention of the Kingdom of Callaway so the county supposedly retained its sovereignty.
This from http://communitylink.com/us/mo/fulton/profile/history.htm
"Among the county's interesting tales is the story of the Civil War battle that wasn't - which is also the story of the region's "Kingdom of Callaway" moniker. In October 1861, a force of several hundred Union troops under General John B. Henderson moved west through neighboring Montgomery County and advanced on Callaway. Colonel Jefferson F. Jones, who lived in eastern Callaway County, heard of the Union advance and quickly mustered his own "army" to defend the county. Most of the county's able-bodied men were already away at war; the county's soldiers were represented in both the Union and the Confederacy. Colonel Jones' "army" was composed largely of determined old men and boys, ill-armed and ill-equipped for battle. As the Callaway troops marched east to meet the Union forces, they dragged along with them wooden logs shaped and painted to resemble artillery pieces. They deployed these "cannons" along the county line and built extra campfires to make the Union general think his opposition was stronger than it really was. In the end, the ruse worked - not a single shot was fired. The bamboozled Union general spent several days negotiating with Colonel Jones and finally signed a treaty with the determined Callaway officer! Hender-son agreed that the United States of America would not invade Callaway County as long as Colonel Jones did not invade the United States. Elated from the successful defense, citizens proclaimed their county "The Kingdom of Callaway," and the name still remains today."
The county does carry an air of independence with its bad roads, bad sewers, bad teeth, and marked lack of zoning. There seems to be a plethora of good-paying jobs that require little or no education. Most Callawegans are employed by one of 4 major entities; the state mental hospital, the state penal system, the local nuclear power plant, or the local Dollar General Distribution Center. There is something a bit frightening about a county of toothless in-breds with money and good credit.
Ironically, Fulton, MO, the county seat of the kingdom, is home to both Westminster College and William Woods University. Westminster is home to the Winston Churchill Memorial and Museum that was the site of Churchill's famed Iron Curtain Speech. Since that time, several international dignitaries have delivered speeches at the same location.
I have decided to try and snap pictures of some of the more interesting patrons who happen by the local store so I can post them here for your viewing pleasure. Welcome to Mid-Missouri.
User Reviews
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-01-08 16:36:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-01-08 15:01:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
neato
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-08 14:39:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
is that 3rd level thing true across com co's?
anyone know the "secret" for free early upgrades from T-mo?
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-01-08 14:31:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
no biggie bro I don't mind paying to get away from ATT.
although I did get to upgrade for free before. someone told me about the 3rd person rule where if you can intelligently and without acting like an ass, get to the third level in customer service and you have a legit point...they will let you upgrade early...it worked.
Submitted by Flak (user info) at 2008-01-08 14:26:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I told him I wanted to demonstrate the quality of the camera in my phone.
Submitted by Flak (user info) at 2008-01-08 14:25:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That's a hard one, Mud. There is one way around it though. If you haven't cancelled yet or if you cancelled within the last 59 days then you can get around it. Just fake your own death. If your line has been cancelled less than 59 days you'll have to reinstate it and then die after a couple of weeks. Just have a gal call up and say she is your mom or sister or widow or whatever. If she says you are dead they should let you out of the contract. Just have her cry so they don't ask too many questions.
This is probably a federal offense but fuck it!
If you were cancelled due to non-payment then you are fucked.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-08 14:24:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love the fact that ringlet mullet POSED for a pic for you.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-01-08 13:51:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
can you get my ATT early termination fee expunged?
Submitted by Flak (user info) at 2008-01-08 13:49:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Muddy -Although I still sell a phone from time to time, I do more training and management.
Crystle - I do feel future installments coming on.
Bob - The area around Ft. Wood is equally rough.
T-man - I could probably get that taken care of for you if that were a model we sold.
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2008-01-08 13:34:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Look I was supposed to get a rebate on this damn V188 and it never showed up.
Can't you just take it off my bill?
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2008-01-08 13:17:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*gets Ft. Leonard Wood flashbacks*
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-08 13:12:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hehehehe
this is totally going to need a "Further Chronicles of Callaway County"
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-01-08 13:10:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i like that the woman without the hat further emphasizes your point by sporting the femmullet
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2008-01-08 13:05:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
For a moment, I thought the first picture was you. Hahahahaha
Meth, mullets and molestation? It's my kind of town!
Oops, sorry Mr. Sinatra.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-01-08 12:57:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
so...you're a cell phone salesman?