Dire Warnings or A hot day (421 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 0.65 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Tj Wilk <no_blank_spaces.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2008-01-09 06:06:14 EST
This is something i'm kinda working on
Assailed by the heat, I made my way back inside with a small bottle of sun block. In my darkened room I carefully applied the pungent white substance all over my body whilst watching a short film on my computer. The mix of light and smells along with the hum of the air conditioner put me in a peaceful state of mind and after twenty minutes or so I wondered whether I really wanted to leave this place of peace and jump into the pool.
The phone rang and I found myself in the next room picking up the receiver. I held it close to my ear and listened for noise, it was unlike me not to say hello into the phone but it didn't occur to me that it was the right thing to do at this time. Finally I spoke. "Hello?" There was a pause of perhaps three seconds when I wondered if the person on the other line was doing the same thing as me. From the depths of the silence came a quiet cough and then a voice.
"Yes hello is this the owner of the household speaking?"
Things had returned to normal at last, I realised it must be somebody from a real estate agency or some other firm who's dealings I couldn't fathom.
"No, sorry they aren't home right now." I started to hang up but there was an uncomfortable noise on the other end, a sort of cough and moan combined. The female spoke again but softly. "I have dire news about your home, I have news of the utmost importance. It involves strange..." She coughed again and this time for a few seconds, it was enough time for what she said to collect in my head.
"Sorry I really have no clue what your on about, I'm just about to go out myself so if you'd like to leave a message that would be fine".
"I can't leave a message, this cannot be written down! You must understand that your house holds a special supernatural significance, I have a dire warning!" She sounded impatient and I respond to impatience with impatience of my own.
"You must have the wrong number, otherwise this is some sort of joke that it really is too hot for. Have a nice day". As I began putting the phone down the sound of the woman coughing and shouting something faded like smoke. Then the click of the phone in its mount seemed to echo through the living room as if something had been made final, something had been decided. A concept an idea or action would spiral down a different network of paths like a turn off on the interstate. New realities would unfold and the world would be ever split. I felt a bit like coughing myself now. I took a long breath and cleared my throat noisily. The world around me seemed to take shape once more and a calm descend on my house. The words "dire warning" ricocheted around my head but I shook it and went out to the pool in the backyard.
The air was sizzling but still under the massive midday sun. The glare from the intense orb took away three quarters of the skyline and made any desire to look up and around wither like the leaves in the trees. I quickly walked to the gate of the pool and yanked it open walking cautiously, yet the heat from the pavement screamed up at my flesh and was absorbed rapidly. I gasped audibly and threw myself into the pool. Suddenly I was flying in a cloud of cool thick liquid, with tiny bubbles popping and tickling there way around my body and to the surface. I rolled in the water; eyes firmly shut and let the coolness diffuse into my body. As I resurfaced I felt the air on my soaked skin in an entirely different way. It was no longer the sensation of a fan forced oven, but the gentle coolness of a winter's morning. It felt so wonderful I decided to hop out of the pool and jump in again once more. The sensation this time seemed to last for a shorter time. I imagined that if I kept jumping in and out the pool the overall sensation would be unchanged, my body never fluctuating in temperature the water on my body staying the same and the world in a tiny flowing loop.
Eventually I pulled myself clumsily onto the pool lie-low. The screech of flesh on wet plastic and the uncomfortable slipperiness of the surface were the only sensations I received for a few moments. On my back and lying full in the sun I appreciated the sun block on my skin. A guy could seriously crisp up out here. My hands lay over my eyes and I floated on the ever-calming surface of the pool. I tried to relax but nothing but restlessness came over me. Was this the good life? Should I be filled with pleasure with all this free time and luxury? I felt slightly disappointed by my own lack of appreciation of the experience. It realised for the hundredth time that I was living too much in my own head, too consumed with the same thoughts and the constant push to sway them in a different direction. All the while the sun rapidly evaporated the pool water from my skin and the world moved on. Evaporation, transpiration, condensation, there were so many processes around me completely unaffected by thoughts and doubts. Again I was thinking too much and tried to shut myself down in a different way, I tried to really focus on my surroundings.
It was an average sized pool enclosed on one side about a foot or two away from the rim by a black metal child safe fence. On the other side was the tin olive coloured fence that separated our lot from that of our neighbours. It stretched up high where it was hidden by a vine I couldn't name and eventually the foliage of a tall tree, another piece of the world I couldn't identify with anything other than the word "tree". Around the perimeter of the pool was a low band of hardy foliage. I didn't know much about these plants either, but I knew that they were largely self sufficient, surviving on little water other than the rare rain fall and occasional splash of pool water which I felt should actually be harmful due to its salt and chlorine content. I lay on the plastic raft surrounded by a small world of competing plant life, of countless insects and probably even small mammals and lizards. But they were worlds away from where I lived my life, worlds away from thought and acknowledgment. They didn't know about me and I found little point in developing much interest in them. I took a deep breath in through my nose and tried to capture the moment by its scent. I couldn't name the overall flavour. It was a mix of sun block, "pool smells" and dry leaves. As far as I knew the air smelled quite clear, quite normal. I couldn't gleam any wisdom from it and I certainly found it hard to find anything so distinct as to form a memory for later days. My mind rolled in pointless thoughts, occasionally directed by my overall consciousness, thoughts rumbled down a different road and were allowed to change speed at will.
But I still found myself impatient, I couldn't get quite comfortable. I changed positions a couple of times and then slipped off the lie-low and into the pool once more. I barely lingered this time but instead climbed out and without any hurry, dried myself off with a towel. I began walking back to the house; it seemed the same as always and yet the woman's words remerged in my head. What were dire warnings precisely? It sounded so old fashioned, a clunky phrase that didn't gel well with the modern stream of language and thought. This was definitely something different to think about, something to pursue further. Dire warnings? Well we'll just have to see about that.
User Reviews
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-01-10 01:19:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-01-10 01:18:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-01-09 15:45:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-01-09 07:21:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
don't rely on Word to correct your writing, just because 'your' or 'gleam' are spelled correctly doesn't mean they work in the context around them.
this is a positive but needs a lot of cleaning up and editing.
worth taking a look at in my opinion.
there was also a substituted there in there that should have been their.
**********
the short and honest answer is; your content was not good enough to overcome your grammatical errors
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-01-09 15:45:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-01-09 07:21:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
don't rely on Word to correct your writing, just because 'your' or 'gleam' are spelled correctly doesn't mean they work in the context around them.
this is a positive but needs a lot of cleaning up and editing.
worth taking a look at in my opinion.
there was also a substituted there in there that should have been their.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-01-09 15:42:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-01-09 14:05:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
have you ever gotten a girl pregnant?
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-01-09 13:41:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
WTFINRAT.
Seriously needs reformatting.
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-01-09 12:26:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2008-01-09 11:48:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Is this about global warming? If so, I'm not reading it.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-01-09 10:57:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't read it but us niggas need to stick together on whitey's Ubersite.
*complicated hand gesture*
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-09 07:29:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Nothing personal, but I just don't like your user number.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-01-09 07:21:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
don't rely on Word to correct your writing, just because 'your' or 'gleam' are spelled correctly doesn't mean they work in the context around them.
this is a positive but needs a lot of cleaning up and editing.
worth taking a look at in my opinion.