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Ten Tiny True Stories (STFU Rob) (801 hits)

Category: None

Rating: -0.21 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Labels:

Submitted by Bohme (View user info) at 2008-01-09 22:36:54 EST


More facty than story-y.

1. I witnessed my uncle's suicide as a baby.

2. Around four or five I played "doctor" with the girl next door. I wasn't allowed back for a month. I still have a fascination with seeing friends naked.

3. In fifth grade I tried to kill my best friend with a butcher knife. I was hopped up on Prozac of course.

4. I've been mugged three times. Only the most recent one is noteworthy. I ran to a nearby gas station and said, "Sorry, I'm bleeding all over your counters." The mugger was wearing a bunch of rings and punched me in the face breaking my nose and chipping three teeth. The attack was less painful then the resulting setting. Finding pieces of your teeth in between your teeth is strange.

5. I've had one memorable girlfreind. Memorable because I later realized she looked a lot like my cousin.

6. I used to worship a god I created. Largely naked prayer rituals during the winter. Kept me away from drug abuse =P

7. I've been called a messiah after writing, apparently, a really good apology. I wish I kept the email.

8. I wrote this last. If I don't consciously tell myself to read from cover to cover, I'll read a book beginning, end, middle, preface, epilogue.

9. When I became of legal drinking age I made a gingerbread house with my family. It was definitely the better choice as I later learnt.

10. I just recently became an uncle.

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User Reviews


Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-03-06 15:07:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-01-10 14:22:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -1



Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-01-10 11:50:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

"1. I witnessed my uncle's suicide as a baby."
======
NURRRRRRRRRRRRRR
DOES NOT COMPUTE

Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-01-10 11:38:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

stfu

Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-01-10 11:31:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

No Comment

Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-01-10 10:51:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

gtfo

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-01-10 10:47:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

Hey, it's Blohme!

Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2008-01-10 10:27:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

No Comment

Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-01-10 10:14:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

No Comment

Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2008-01-10 09:29:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

5. I've had one memorable girlfreind.
--------
Was she an anfry jelous bicth?

Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-01-10 08:20:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

6. I used to worship a god I created. Largely naked prayer rituals during the winter. Kept me away from drug abuse =P
------------------------------------------------------

It's one of the very things that led me to use drugs.

Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-10 07:14:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -1

You are the embodiment of dysfunctional.

Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-01-10 04:43:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

I stopped reading these ages ago. Please stop.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-01-10 03:14:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

did you have a 3 some with your cousin?

Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-01-10 01:41:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

http://www.ubersite.com/m/114095

Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-01-10 01:32:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -1

needs more number four

Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-01-10 01:12:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2


Holy shit.

nice one.


Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2008-01-10 00:50:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

meh

Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-01-09 22:39:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Fascinating. Truly. Seriously.


Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


Two-hundred-thirty-nine pounds?! I'm a blimp! Why are all the good
things so tasty?

-- Homer Simpson
Brush With Greatness