Shit Poetry Thursday (SPT): Submit Your Worst Poem for a Prize! (619 hits)
Category: Quotes & Stories -> PoetryRating: 0.55 on 34 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by CaptainThorns (View user info) at 2008-01-10 11:20:22 EST
LAYDIIIIIES AND GENTEEELMEN!
I am officially changing SPT from Shit Post Thursday to Shit Poetry Thursday!
Submit your best, er, worst, poem in a review below - winner gets some sort of prize. Probably a handful of +2s from me. Or something. I'll decide later, depending on the winning entry.
Okay, then, let's get this party started right...
Look how the moon glows so orange tonight
Bathing us in its sweet, peaceful aura
Even without the aid of telescopic sight
And look at all the suns from other galaxies
That spark and dance to the tempo of our hearts
Above the nocturnally singing trees
I feel like I could just wave my hand
Bid heavenly bodies to my command
The power of our love a magic wand
Breaking the laws of physics and beyond
(And why wouldn't they?)
(And why shouldn't they?)
Sense the tides rolling out so very strong
Rhythmic strain and dulcet melody
Playing for us our own aquatic theme song
And if we listen very close my dear
Hear the wind whistling 'cross the water
Singing the praises of our lunar year
I feel like I could just wave my hand
Bid heavenly bodies to my command
The power of our love a magic wand
Breaking the laws of physics and beyond
(And why wouldn't they?)
(And why shouldn't they?)
User Reviews
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-01-11 14:11:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
the golden donut
rolling in the sun, oh how!
I wish to eat thee
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-01-11 13:00:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
alright...I win at sucking
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-01-11 09:59:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
A WINNAR IS Mudwhistle with his "Berserker" entry!!!
Because it was, indeed, the shittiest poem, without a doubt. Always has been, always will be.
Fungah gets the Special Player's Prize for longest entry with best ending!
Oh yeah, prizes. Um...a +2 rating on your 5 lowest ranked posts, in the form of a personalized limerick!
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2008-01-11 04:44:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I R win?
Submitted by Tony_the_Tiger_is_a_Pedophile (user info) at 2008-01-11 01:20:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
if i have to public speak,
i get the urge to take a leak,
if my pant i pee, they'll reak,
plus ill be thought of as a freak,
it would even leave yellow streaks,
man that situation sure looks bleak
Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2008-01-10 20:27:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I twisted my sisters nipples
And made her writhe in pain
She slapped my head
Until I bled
But then I did it again
She gave me lumps
That looked like mumps
Swelling up my jaws
The neighbors said
My lumpy head
Was given for just cause
I got the bitch real late one night
And evened up the score
With Devil grass
Poked up her ass
She whined like a two-bit whore
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-01-10 16:46:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2008-01-10 14:30:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
None of you stand a chance against the awe-inspiring power of hammer-time.
-----
Yesterday one of my cohorts was relating a story concerning vehicle braking prior to a crash. His increasingly animated explanation ended with the question, "And in that case, there's no way you're gonna be able to stop!" After the appropriate short pause I said, "Hammertime." Hilarity ensued.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-01-10 15:06:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-10 12:23:32 CST (#)
Ranking: 0
And what exactly is the prize?
----------------------------------
Your cock and my teabag.
Naw, I'll decide tomorrow when I pick a winner. Gotta give the folks in the other time zones a chance to play, too.
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2008-01-10 14:30:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
None of you stand a chance against the awe-inspiring power of hammer-time.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-01-10 14:18:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-01-10 14:17:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I gave my love a cherry
That had no stone
I gave my love a chicken
That had no bones
I gave my love a story
That had no end
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-01-10 14:16:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-01-10 13:57:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
These are terribly amusing.
-----
And vice-versa.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2008-01-10 13:58:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Flanders:
Homer, affordable tract housing made us neighbors, but you made us
friends.
Homer: To Ned Flanders, the richest left-handed man in town.
When Flanders Failed
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-01-10 13:57:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
These are terribly amusing.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-01-10 13:48:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I gaze at my love
She waves with a smile and then
a safe falls on her
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2008-01-10 13:48:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
www.ubersite.com/m/114249
Great idea btw.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-01-10 13:43:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-01-10 12:00:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Cliff.
Oh, Cliff
Sometimes it must be difficult not to feel as if
You really are a Cliff
When fascists keep trying to push you over it
Are they the lemmings?
Or are you Cliff?
Or are you, Cliff?
===
THE PEOPLE'S POET
And you can all stop writing, now.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/114250
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-10 13:23:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And what exactly is the prize?
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2008-01-10 12:06:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/114247
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-01-10 12:06:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Jokes on you, CT, it's "WAINING through time"
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-01-10 12:04:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-01-10 10:44:50 CST (#)
Ranking: 0
Shit Poetry Thursday was "officially" created many moons ago by some asshole who doesn't write anymore.
----------------
Boy, I'LL say. Get on that, would you? We need more timeless poetic hits around here.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-01-10 12:04:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Here we are, without a guide,
We cannot believe all that was tried.
Our paths together, they await ahead.
My heart feels heavier than all lead.
We are waining through time,
Lost together in a sea of sorrow.
Where we end up today won't matter,
For we will always have our tomorrow.
You seeked help, you came to me.
What did you want us to believe.
My arms are open, I'm waiting for you.
I want our hearts to stay true.
We are waining through time,
Found together on the shores of love.
In each other's arms we hold ourselves,
Our troubles we are standing above.
You better believe it,
we are together again.
We see ourselves as,
More than just friends.
I can feel it,
Bigger than a spark.
You can have it,
Here is my heart.
We are waining through time,
The games have been won.
We are waining through time,
You are my one.
We are waining through time,
Things will get better.
We are waining through time,
We will always be together.
We are waining through time.
(echo echo echo echo)
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-01-10 12:04:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Love
I love you more than anyone else does
cuz
I can't do with out you no more
whore
I've got a fin, now lets begin
I can't wait to see it on your chin
my skanky dove
I think I'm in love
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-01-10 12:00:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Cliff.
Oh, Cliff
Sometimes it must be difficult not to feel as if
You really are a Cliff
When fascists keep trying to push you over it
Are they the lemmings?
Or are you Cliff?
Or are you, Cliff?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-01-10 11:45:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BLISS
When I first met you,
I didn't have a clue.
Our love would be founded,
and never ever be bounded.
I must tell the truth,
I never thought of this.
But I got to admit,
It is surely complete bliss.
My love is no lie,
It's sweet like apple pie.
You are my only one,
We will never be alone.
I must let you know,
I never lied about this,
because as I told you,
It is surely complete bliss.
MMmmm..... MMmmm.....
Peace is with in sight,
I will be your light.
Believe what I said true,
because I deeply love you.
I must tell the truth,
I never thought of this.
But I got to admit,
It is surely complete bliss.
I must let you know,
I never lied about this,
because as I told you,
It is surely complete bliss.
It is surely complete bliss
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2008-01-10 11:45:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If I wasn't a 8-figga nigga
By the name of Jigga
Would you come around me
Or would you clown me?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-01-10 11:44:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Shit Poetry Thursday was "officially" created many moons ago by some asshole who doesn't write anymore. It would do you well to hold this date, and this example, in your heart and consider it at all times. It is an example of better days, of beauty in a cat-clawed bag, and of the greatest tidal wave of young American talent this side of Cytheria's fluid orgasms:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/71938
Never settle for anything less than the genuine article, folks.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2008-01-10 11:42:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Did he just say "When we make fuck?"
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-01-10 11:40:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
roses are red
i'd like to kick in your head
until your gay ass was dead
then i'd go to bed
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-01-10 11:39:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Muddy, I am lovin' the Clerks reference!
"Would you like some making fuck?"
That's classic!
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-10 11:30:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It all began with a really abrupt start
where I tried too hard to let rip a fart
and then my drawers took a direct hit;
I realized that I was sitting on shit.
what do i win?
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-01-10 11:23:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
My love for you is like a truck, Berserker
Would you like some making fuck, Berserker
My love for you is like a rock, Berserker
The Berserker is just so obscene
Likes evil people you know what I mean
He takes your soul and then just rips you apart
He'll steal your heart
Would you like to smoke some pot, Berserker
My love for you is ticking clock, Berserker
Would you like to suck my cock, Berserker
Would you like some making fuck, Berserker
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-01-10 11:23:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
http://www.ubersite.com/u/orgasmatron
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-01-10 11:21:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
By the way, MeTHod, "Waning Through Time" is not allowed.