Quite possibly the saddest day in the world EVER (963 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.31 on 31 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (View user info) at 2008-01-11 04:05:37 EST
Ok its time for new poppies to be made, nice shiny brown ones.
I can NO longer post or comment on Uber!! Well during the day... Yet I could sneak on one evening sometime soon but even that is going to be tricky, I hear the cries of anguish but do not fret, the pain is normal. Blame work; they are getting tough and no longer allowing me access to Uber ALL DAY. How Very Dare They.
Now where would the uber gang be without possibly the last EI swimming adventure EVER!! I have to write this before my boss gets in; i am against the clock, who knows if I will make it. I will give you two rings when im home safe mummy.
Onto thus tale, twas a foggy night in my dear home town whence a buffalo appeared from the south with a coffee jar for a nose bag and some decaffinated tea for ears. A wailing banshee shrieking from the roof tops.
No, that didn't happen. I'm sorry.
I want to check with uber regarding etiquette, you see at swimming there is this FEMALE lifeguard whom many moons ago I came across......literally.
This was a lady I met out on a drunken night, her dad owns a gay club, but that's not where we were. Thankfully.
After much schmoozing and rousing I made my merry way back to her apartment for some jiggy jiggy. We ripped each others clothes off and we stood naked in her room ready for anything!........till I noticed.......that.........she...had......boobs shaped like pear drops.....needless to say I was traumatized and lets just say i was distracted during the jiggy jiggy. Anyway the next morning I made my escape thinking I would never see her again, but I did, she's the flipping lifeguard at my pool!!
So uber, should I have her killed? Hung drawn and quartered? Im sick of the dirty looks she gives me as im trying to perfect my stroke, she is putting me off my game.....
GEORGE IS NOT HAPPY.
User Reviews
Submitted by Glenn. (user info) at 2008-04-07 09:08:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Man, who DOESN'T kill a bitch after nuttin' in the ho?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-01-17 17:12:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
How very dare they indeed.
Hey buddy, mail me. :)
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-01-15 16:50:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Not many people rated this baby, not even the mighty shlongy.
It's not that the site is blocked at work but more so my boss saying she will give me an official warning if I look at the site again.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-15 16:43:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
:-( I didn't see this first time around.
Have you tried www2.ubersite.com?
The 2 makes it the mirror site - several have been able to get around things at work that way.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-01-15 16:05:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hunny im home....have you put the waffles on?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-01-15 16:03:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 no more EI
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2008-01-11 17:44:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
depends on which way the pear drops drop don't it?
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2008-01-11 17:05:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hitwhore : http://www.ubersite.com/m/113358
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-01-11 16:44:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by OscarZAcosta (user info) at 2008-01-11 09:29:52 PST (#)
Ranking: 2
que que what fun this was.
----------------
your alters are showing!!!
xx
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2008-01-11 16:30:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 fellow-banned-at-work sympathy.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-01-11 14:23:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-01-11 12:35:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Eh, I'll round up to a +1 - not enough aquatic action for my taste, but still, you delivered. Like Domino's Pizza on Super Bowl Sunday.
When do we get a tale of you shagging in the pool?
Submitted by OscarZAcosta (user info) at 2008-01-11 12:29:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
que que what fun this was.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-01-11 12:28:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
awww isnt that nice but Mr Acosta snr you must make haste, for the badger parade is in but.....3 minutes!
Submitted by OscarZAcosta (user info) at 2008-01-11 12:27:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll chat to you poor Acosta Jnr
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-01-11 12:25:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm really more of an ass man myself...just be happy you got laid, dude.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-01-11 12:07:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh and I had never seen her before the night out and her pear drop boobs was not the only reason I ran like a scolded cat, she had short persons syndrome too.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-01-11 12:02:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HEY GUYS IM HOME!
Submitted by Flak (user info) at 2008-01-11 11:13:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.mcphees.co.nz/images/pear_drops.jpg
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-01-11 10:48:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCK YOU WEBSENSE
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-01-11 10:23:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
well, goodbye my sweet little meatspinner1977
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-01-11 09:53:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-11 07:24:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Great .gif
--------------------------
Seriously though, fuck Chuck.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-01-11 09:51:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-01-11 09:31:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What a sad day indeed.
In other news I just pumped the inflatable lady up for an evening of romatic films candelite food and humping, and her breasts actually look pretty damn good. So good in fact that I may see if she wants to play around before we eat.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-01-11 08:49:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
:(
Maybe the power of poetry will help.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/96680
I wrote this for a friend one time, and now that certain someone is on the MVA!!!11ELEVENTY11
In a coincidental act of solidarity, fuck work. I'm going back to bed for a while.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-01-11 08:21:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
seriously, you lost interest because her boobs were not up to your standards?
god forbid the women that come in your life that are not perfect. god forbid she have armpit hair!!! or GASP regrowth!!!
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-01-11 07:55:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You're the second person that has been banned from uber at work this week.
I'll never get banned from uber at work.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-11 07:24:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Great .gif
Submitted by zxcvvcxz (user info) at 2008-01-11 05:19:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
If she gives you the evil eye, here's what you do:
Give it right back. She's the one with the misshaped tits.*
*This advice only applies if your tits are well shaped.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-01-11 04:50:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
if she's a lifeguard, then you should have noted her breasts in the swimsuit.
how can you be surprised?
solution. turn off the lights when shagging.
or drink enough that vision is blurred (or in my case you could care less).
what does it matter, as long as she is soft, moist and smells good.
i presume she isn't overweight and old. that changes everything.
be happy yer getting any. ive seen what you look like.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-01-11 04:10:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
If she's giving you dirty looks that probably means you didn't fuck her properly.