An Open Letter To Comcast (1266 hits)
Category: NewsRating: 1.73 on 32 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Matt Maiorano (View user info) at 2008-01-12 22:18:33 EST
Dear Comcast,
Fuck you.
Fuck you for sending down wave after wave of fuck-knuckles who don't know where Mellon Arena is. It's the ONLY arena that's used by the ONLY hockey team in Pittsburgh, across the street from the ONLY apartment complex in the entire block that has "CHATHAM TOWERS" written in big bold letters with fireworks going off all around it.
Four times..... FOUR FUCKING TIMES over the course of TWO WEEKS, you had to send people who had never set foot in this complex. Three of those times, you didn't send these people with the proper equipment to measure how much power our coax cables were getting. Instead, your people either stood around gabbing on their shitty Nextel phones for two hours talking about how our apartment didn't even HAVE coax cables with power, or THEY HAD NEVER EVEN DONE A PERSONAL INSTALLATION BEFORE IN THEIR ENTIRE YEAR OF WORKING AT COMCAST.
It was only today that the guy that you had sent for my 10:00 AM appointment, who decided to show up at 5:30 PM today by the way, that I was finally able to get my cable TV and internet. You know how long it took to install?
One fucking half-hour.
I called seven times today, and spoke to six different supervisors. One of those times, I couldn't get put on with a supervisor because some stupid black bitch decided that she simply wouldn't do it and gave me the same run-around I had been hearing all morning. It wasn't until I told her that since she was refusing to put me on with her supervisor, and since I had her name and employee number, she was assuming the responsibilities of a supervisor and I was holding her equally responsible to the lack of customer service, and that if I was losing my job because of all those people fucking up, I would have more than enough time on my hands to devote myself to giving the higher-ups all of the names and employee numbers of the people I dealt with and ruining the reputation of those employees within the company, so it was only THEN that she decided to whistle a different tune out her asshole.
Is this what it needs to come down to? When you pay peanuts, you get monkeys, and I really don't like threatening to take away peanuts from a monkey. I also understand that you don't give a shit about me threatening to take away my business. I'm just one guy. Trouble is, shit rolls downhill. Not only do I work in a company that deals with Comcast customers on a daily basis, but I am perfectly capable of leaving a bad salty taste in EVERYBODY'S mouths after I'm done talking about you.
And once they taste it, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS, they certainly won't think it was me fucking them.
Love always,
Matt Maiorano
User Reviews
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2008-02-19 01:59:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-01-15 14:38:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry I never answer your IMs. I'm sleeping by the time you message me. I just forget to turn AIM off.
I STILL LOVE YOU MATT!
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-15 14:07:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I'm lucky. I live in an area that has two satelite providers as well as cable.
I still hate Comcast because thier customer service STILL sucks.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2008-01-15 13:51:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OH MY GOD
This post is like an out of body experience.
It has taken 2 1/2 weeks to get my cable and internet connection after my move.
I just got connected an hour ago.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-01-15 12:53:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Please allow me to tack on:
Dear Comcast;
YOU OWE ME A FUCKING REFUND, YOUR CLERK BEHIND THE OH-SO-NECESSARY BULLETPROOF GLASS EVEN SAID SO AFTER I HEARD HER TELL THE PREVIOUS 28 CUSTOMERS FORNICATE THEMSELVES.
WHERE IS MY MONEY??? YOU GOT YOUR MALFUNCTIONING BOX BACK!!! WHERE IS MY FUCKING CASH??!!
Ahem, whew... sorry about that.
I called customer service yesterday and the message actually said "Due to high call volume, we are unable to connect you with a customer service representative." And then it hung up on me.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2008-01-15 03:26:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-01-14 15:17:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i really enjoy boobies.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-01-14 12:12:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
here it's charter communications that has the near monopoly and therefore does whatever the fuck it wants. I can empathize with you and share your angst for companies that make 4-8 hour long appointments and then worse do not show up during those ridiculous appointments.
Submitted by gascs (user info) at 2008-01-14 10:51:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm on Armstrong. They really suck too.
Do you guys at least get Thursday night football games?
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2008-01-14 10:32:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have Cablevision.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2008-01-14 09:01:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh Comcast, how I hate thee.
The best is when the cable box explodes and catches fire. When I explained what happened to the tech, he shrugged his shoulders and told me it happens more often than I knew and that I was damn lucky I was at home when it exploded b/c he had seen them burn peoples houses to the ground.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-01-14 08:52:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
SID THE KID FTW!
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2008-01-14 08:23:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Way to proofread, NIGGA!
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2008-01-14 02:47:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I believe all of what you're saying to be true, in all areas of the country.
...even still, fuck you. We don't need you as much as you need us... and you know it.
Enjoy the raping.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-01-13 21:24:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I love how post-op Bubba claims to be an underage girl, but knows about the billing and customer service of companies that run credit checks before they will give you service.
Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2008-01-13 19:09:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-01-13 18:35:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i get raped by dish network and AT&T.
-------------
I've had both for three years and have had no trouble. Must have something
to do with head size. . . :)
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-01-13 18:35:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i get raped by dish network and AT&T.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-01-13 18:19:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's a near-monopolistic organization. What are you gonna do, not subscribe? Ha! They'll waste your time and charge you for wasting your time, then raise their rates every few months and you'll take it because you'd rather watch cable than broadcast and you'd rather have high-speed than dialup.
I get raped by DirecTV and Hughesnet satellite rape services, as there's no cable rape service where I live. Truth is, there're no good options. This is America, where customer service is dead.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2008-01-13 17:20:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Matt seems angry today.
We have Time Warner Cable. They suck. The last time it went out I pulled one of those working from home deals so I could babysit the cable, not that I could actually do any work what with the internet also being out. The guy never showed up. I called and the helpful person on the phone told me that I had the wrong day and that they had been out the day before and no one was here. That would have been a neat trick because that would have meant that the appointment was actually for before the cable was out.
Eventually Sam absolutely lost his shit and told them that he "didn't care if Ted Turner had to climb his skinny white ass up that pole and fix it himself he wanted the goddamn cable back up."
Then they actually had the balls to try to sell us cable phone too. I suppose this is so when the service goes down we won't actually be able to call them about it.
The next time the cable goes out, we're just going to sell the house. I swear it will be easier than getting the cable fixed.
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2008-01-13 17:10:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going to pretend that by "when you pay peanuts you get monkeys" refers to the black bitch you talked to
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2008-01-13 15:47:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2008-01-13 12:53:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Comcast if chock full of incompetent idiots, led by fools.
Direct TV gives excellent service, fast response time, and more channels for less money.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2008-01-13 11:57:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Comcast's service sucks.
But Comcast Sports Network has damn near every Phillies game televised.
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2008-01-13 11:10:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is to offset locksly who has no idea what you're talking about because his Mommy still pays the bills.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-01-13 03:56:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
awesome blog
Submitted by Lambchop (user info) at 2008-01-13 02:28:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't be pissed at comcast cause they're paying my scholarship money right now.
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2008-01-13 01:46:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Comcast reminds me of this game...oh what's it called...board game...parker bros? you roll dice? little car and dog and shit run around the board? i think its called "government subsidized regional monopoly" or something?
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-01-13 00:38:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*clap* *clap* *clap*
Fuck comcast. Fuck them in their stupid asses.
Submitted by sick.little.weasel (user info) at 2008-01-12 23:22:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is fucking priceless! Can I employ your services towrite a letter to Sprint for me on pretty much the same basis, but for cellular phones?
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-01-12 23:13:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You should be sending this to the mayor of Philadelphia and the FCC for allowing Comcast to have a monopoly in your area. When you don't have to give good service, why would you?
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2008-01-12 22:54:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've spent so many hours on the phone and in person with Comcast, I wanted the entire company to fail miserably for their sorry lack of knowledge in their own fuckin field.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-01-12 22:37:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
AGREED. Fuck Comcast- for different reasons:
http://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2007/10/eff-tests-agree-ap-comcast-forging-packets-to-interfere