Re: its good that convenience store clerks have something they are good at besides sweeping, mopping and stocking. (866 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.1 on 34 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Erosion Roolz (View user info) at 2008-01-13 00:53:02 EST
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-01-11 13:05:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
its good that convenience store clerks have something they are good at besides sweeping, mopping and stocking.
===========================
Seems we'd also make ideal stay at home parents. We have infinite fucking patience for all the fuckin' mouth breathers that come in and are too goddamned lazy to even TILT THEIR HEAD SLIGHTLY AND REMEMBER A SINGLE DIGIT NUMBER FOR TEN SECONDS.
Tell me folks, do you ever go into a 12 pump gas station when there's a long ass line and only one person working because the assistant manager has taken it upon herself to fall asleep while making a pot of coffee in the back of the store and said "I need ten in gas." That's all, forget that there are twelve pumps, eighteen people behind you, and I'm pretty sure the clerk didn't watch you pull up to a pump, then track you as you came in the store, all while dealing with little junior son-of-a-bitch asking if his two quarters are more than five dollars and the woman who apparently hasn't been outside since the inception of the debit machine attempting to insert the card in his eye socket, all while asking why we don't keep several thousand dollars in the drawers to break their hundred dollar bills, because that sign on the door that says "Stor has less than $30 after dark" actually means "WE'RE A FUCKING 24 HOUR BANK."
So be you Captain Cocklick, the genius who complains about shift changes; be you Reginald Rightregister who always goes to the register the clerk obviously ISN'T on; be you some random asshole that's never heard of convenience stores getting robbed, so we should keep enough for you to break a hundred dollar bill for a Slim Jim in the drawer...
Don't drink the coffee, don't eat the hot dogs, don't drink the fountain drinks, and if it's in that pretty shelved cooler where all the sodas and beer hide, don't touch it. Why? My nuts adorn each of these surfaces in hopes a bag of shit like you will relish the sweaty sac flavor.
Infinite patience is over people, and it's a long time coming. How can any of you think that you've never ingested a sandwich full of pubis? You must be the only one. You'd think more people would realize by now that they're in a world filled with fucked products because they can't figure out how to behave like a decent human being.
In my little convenience store, if you see my eye having that little involuntary twitch, yes, the coffee all contains a good portion of used mop water. Generally from the mens' room. Yes, most of the hot dogs have been on the floor...of the mens' room.
Fuck you all, customer types. Fuck you hard, and fuck you good.
User Reviews
Submitted by erosion_rules (user info) at 2008-03-22 06:31:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-01-14 11:56:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
gah. i'm glad the robots will soon be doing the sort of work you're qualified for. i'd rather just spend the tax dollars on welfare to keep you at home eating cheetos and drinking malt liquor so i don't have to interact with you. the robots can ring up my gas and water just as well and won't steal from the fucking register while they do it. and they'll tell me thanks.
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Then, when people like you go into the stores and are outsmarted by complicated things such as SWIPING YOUR OWN DAMN CREDIT CARD, you'll have no one to blame but yourself. And when you realize that, oh how useless you'll see you are.
You're the one that blames clerks for you not understanding how to copy the little picture next to the card slot, instead opting to swipe it through the stylus holder, huh?
Submitted by erosion_rules (user info) at 2008-01-21 04:45:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by cat_head (user info) at 2008-01-16 07:21:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Bullshit. You mentioned that you are selective only in the backtracking comment you added later.
In the post you state:
"Don't drink the coffee, don't eat the hot dogs, don't drink the fountain drinks, and if it's in that pretty shelved cooler where all the sodas and beer hide, don't touch it. Why? My nuts adorn each of these surfaces in hopes a bag of shit like you will relish the sweaty sac flavor. "
Sounds pretty indiscriminate to me.
Now fuck off and die you cunt.
==============================
It's called literary hate.
Not ALL the hot dogs are bad. In the year I've worked there only three have made it back into a bun from the floor. All the victims were VERY deserving. I'm talking a date rapist, and two Mexicans I catch stealing once a week, but they somehow still are allowed in the store.
The cans, not so much opportunity. You can see the person working back there the whole time if you just look. No way am I stretching sac in front of all these people, they might catch a glimpse and get all sex nuts and retard strong.
And I've made one pot of mop water coffee for this one asshole.
But you'd rather take a post as fact.
I also ACTUALLY killed the chupacabra, and I transform a la Dragon Ball Z when stung by giant insects.
Tool.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-01-20 18:56:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome hate post.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-01-20 18:20:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i don't know apollo why DO you come on here?
Submitted by erosion_rules (user info) at 2008-01-20 16:34:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-01-14 11:56:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
gah. i'm glad the robots will soon be doing the sort of work you're qualified for. i'd rather just spend the tax dollars on welfare to keep you at home eating cheetos and drinking malt liquor so i don't have to interact with you. the robots can ring up my gas and water just as well and won't steal from the fucking register while they do it. and they'll tell me thanks.
==============================
Good luck getting the robot to ring up your gas when you refuse to say what pump number you're on.
Seriously, that's where you and I agree. I can't wait until robots take this over so the truly worthless people who haven't adapted a bit since Bowie topped the charts can be seen for all their mental failure.
It's called a credit card machine, you swipe it on your side, get with the times people.
Submitted by cat_head (user info) at 2008-01-16 07:21:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Bullshit. You mentioned that you are selective only in the backtracking comment you added later.
In the post you state:
"Don't drink the coffee, don't eat the hot dogs, don't drink the fountain drinks, and if it's in that pretty shelved cooler where all the sodas and beer hide, don't touch it. Why? My nuts adorn each of these surfaces in hopes a bag of shit like you will relish the sweaty sac flavor. "
Sounds pretty indiscriminate to me.
Now fuck off and die you cunt.
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-01-16 01:08:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This is disgusting, yet I'm conflicted. It's funny and evil all at once. I hope you never fucking make my food and this is why I'm always very polite and nice to everyone doing shit jobs like this. I don't want ball hairs in my burger.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2008-01-16 00:28:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Can I get 20 on number... uhmm.. uh... that one over there.
And a receipt.
...and SMILE when you hand it to me, you worthless fuck.
Submitted by erosion_rules (user info) at 2008-01-15 12:34:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
First of all, this is in Florida. So the idiot and asshole count is much higher. To the point where customers will shit in the sink. None of the workers have ever given customers a reason for this, and I'm actually the favorite of all our regulars. Also, can you people not read? The tainted food is kept seperate. And no, we're not self serve. Bad coffee gets dumped after the target gets a cup. And it's only thieves, exes, and the other deserving types that get it. I treat people like they treat me. Some treat me shabbily enough to warrant dirty food.
Submitted by cat_head (user info) at 2008-01-14 13:54:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
So because some customers are assholes you taint the food that everybody eats? I hate people like you. That sort of vindictive behaviour is just so callous and pathetic. What if a guy who comes in has just donated bone marrow to save his baby nephew's life? And he's rewarded with your wang germs smeared inside his hotdog bun. Nice.
One day you might realise that being a man is about being the better person and not retaliating in a vengeful, indiscriminate way. It's about taking shit from one of the troglodytes that you mention, and then still politely holding the door open for him.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-01-14 13:20:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I worked in a fast food resteraunt and dealt with the same idiots but I never once DEFILED food. I messed with customers but without the disgusting, that's just a line I wasn't willing to cross. I think the main reason I never crossed that line is that it was the only way I could make myself beleive the guy making MY food at another resteraunt would have the same personal moral rule.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-01-14 11:56:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
gah. i'm glad the robots will soon be doing the sort of work you're qualified for. i'd rather just spend the tax dollars on welfare to keep you at home eating cheetos and drinking malt liquor so i don't have to interact with you. the robots can ring up my gas and water just as well and won't steal from the fucking register while they do it. and they'll tell me thanks.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2008-01-14 09:39:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You should work at a textbook/regular book store like me.
"Do you sell Chemistry books?"
...
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2008-01-14 09:35:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And I separate all the tainted food and drink from the regular stuff. If you're a shitbag, you get shitprinted pseudo-meat and mopwater coffee. If you're a decent human being, you get the stuff that's only factory tainted, grade D meat.
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So your store isn't self-serve, like every other convenience store?
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2008-01-14 09:33:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I was a waitress for five years and I got plenty of shit from customers and dealt with plenty of idiots and assholes. I hated it, hated it, hated it. And I never once fucked with anyone's food. It's unprofessional, juvenile, and vile. I can definitely understand the motivation but I can't understand the act. WTF is wrong with you?
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-01-14 08:01:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you make it seem as if your job is the only job that has problems or difficult customers or extraordinary circumstances. I'll venture to guess that everyone could make up a short list of shitty things about their job. The difference is that those who are not complaining see the upside of the work they do and figure the 'shit' is just the price you pay.
Not seeing the 'upside' of your job...guess what...you can get another one, you can find something else to do if you'd like and save the world from your incessant bitching. The platform for your complaints is 'the customer' and yet without the customer you wouldn't have that shitty little job.
I've had shitty jobs before and you what I did to get buy....I FUCKING GOT A BETTER JOB. For everyone one convenience store clerk that does a good job and constantly gets shit on there are 2 of them that fuck off for a few hours every shift or spend their time texting. How about hanging up your phone or at least setting aside as I step to your Register of Harmony and treating me like a human with a 'good morning', 'good afternoon' or 'good evening' instead of acting as if I'm bothering you to do your fucking job?
You don't have to be nice? You don't have to be courteous? Bullshit the job is customer service, not Customer is an Inconvenience. Smile and do your fucking job just like the rest of the normal people do.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2008-01-13 20:05:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for hate, well conveyed.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-01-13 18:56:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You and people like you are the reason I interact with minimum-wage types as infrequently as possible. While I am quite aware that few people in your type of work actually have the same combination of externalized self-hatred and low self esteem that you clearly do, enough of you do that I don't trust any of you. Way to fuck it up for all those that aren't little petty snivelling twats. It's not my fault that you are convinced that you can't do better, and you're stupid if you thing that wiping your ass on a hotdog is going to change the fact that you think you can't do better. Here's the truth: no one's keeping you ringing up nachos for Beavis and Butthead. You choose to do what you do, every day when you go to do it. You don't like how it is for you? Fuck you, nobody owes you anything. Either change your situation on your own or get happy with the fact that you shit your own bed, lie back and get comfy in your warm, squishy brown life.
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2008-01-13 18:37:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I think this deserves a positive rating for the public service it does. It's important that the public is made aware that there are workers who are ALONE WITH OUR FOOD(eew!)who have these feelings about us. And blaming rude customers is a cop-out when you're blindly attacking everyone. If you do this, you are a sociopath, period.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-01-13 18:29:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I have so wanted to do one of these for healthcare.
Ethics is what stops me.
But I'm tempted to when some belligerent drunk in the ER throws his full urinal at a staff member because he thinks he should be served McDonalds while waiting for the doctor.
Or when some druggie is trying to con us for another script of Vicodin. Never mind that she does it every single month and has well established herself as a drug seeker. SHE WANTS HER FUCKING VICODIN RIGHT GODDAMNED NOW! To emphasize her point, she'll scream at the top of her lungs, call the nurses cunts (male nurses too), and throw her nasty, stained Keds at the nurses station.
Or when Mr./Ms. Self-Entitled thinks that their sprained ankle (from playing tennis) should take priority over the cardiac arrest case in room #3.
"WHY IS THAT PERSON BEING TAKEN BEFORE ME?! I'VE BEEN HERE A HALF HOUR ALREADY. THEY JUST CAME IN! YOU'LL BE HEARING FROM MY LAWYER!"
I hated those people.
Submitted by erosion_rules (user info) at 2008-01-13 17:47:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2008-01-13 17:35:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
After reading this, it seems that you'd like the "fuckin' mouth breathers that come in" to either:
a) stop coming into your store
b) embark on some form of self-improvement and cease to be "fuckin' mouth breathers"
I think it's rather obvious that option b) is very unlikely to occur and hoping for it is simply a waste of energy.
Option a) is more realistic, but I'd have to think that if all the "fuckin' mouth breathers that come in" all of a sudden just stopped coming in and spending their money, your employer may find it difficult to continue to pay you.
By the way, I do like the phrase "mouth breathers", very descriptive.
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Actually, I not only hope they'll change, I try to push them in that direction by making myself unable to do things for them that are their own responsibility, such as not reading their minds when they say Marlboro and mean Marlboro menthol ultra light 100s, because apparently I live with each customer. I even go as far as to put a sign on the door that says "Please remember your pump number" and a sign on the closed register that says "Next register please" with an arrow pointing to the open register. The problem is, fuckers are so stupid they pick up the sign at the wrong register, read it audibly, and stay right fucking there.
It's not that customers really are stupid, it's a conscious attempt at being a total fuckbag. And I separate all the tainted food and drink from the regular stuff. If you're a shitbag, you get shitprinted pseudo-meat and mopwater coffee. If you're a decent human being, you get the stuff that's only factory tainted, grade D meat.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2008-01-13 17:35:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
After reading this, it seems that you'd like the "fuckin' mouth breathers that come in" to either:
a) stop coming into your store
b) embark on some form of self-improvement and cease to be "fuckin' mouth breathers"
I think it's rather obvious that option b) is very unlikely to occur and hoping for it is simply a waste of energy.
Option a) is more realistic, but I'd have to think that if all the "fuckin' mouth breathers that come in" all of a sudden just stopped coming in and spending their money, your employer may find it difficult to continue to pay you.
By the way, I do like the phrase "mouth breathers", very descriptive.
Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2008-01-13 17:16:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2008-01-13 17:08:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You lost me when you started bragging about being a disgusting piece of shit and tampering with food. So let me get this straight. If I come in and buy a hot dog and eat it after it's been on the floor of the men's room, that makes you feel better because SOMEONE ELSE made your shitty, minimum-wage job a little worse? Really?
You're a fuckhead. I was all set to +2 this after the first 2 paragraphs.
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SOmeone ate too many hot dogs. Now he's "pissed."
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2008-01-13 17:08:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You lost me when you started bragging about being a disgusting piece of shit and tampering with food. So let me get this straight. If I come in and buy a hot dog and eat it after it's been on the floor of the men's room, that makes you feel better because SOMEONE ELSE made your shitty, minimum-wage job a little worse? Really?
You're a fuckhead. I was all set to +2 this after the first 2 paragraphs.
Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2008-01-13 13:13:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-01-13 03:51:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Clerks did it better
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2008-01-13 02:12:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-01-13 02:08:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just remembered this: On my last night of working, the freak called, I hung-up (I thought), and immediately lifted the handheld thingamabob off the wall-thing (total loss for words) so nobody could call. At 4 in the morning, approximately 3 hours later, I checked the line and he was still there. As good a reason as any to quit a job that paid 4.25/hr.
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2008-01-13 02:06:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
OH GOD, THE SLUSHIES...WHAT HAVE I INGESTED?
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-01-13 01:26:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha
Submitted by erosion_rules (user info) at 2008-01-13 01:25:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-01-13 01:15:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I worked for a few months as a convenience store clerk when I was an undergrad. (Another story. I blame the fact that I have lots of stupid stories on the fact that I never played video games.) It was alright. I wasn't the best employee, by corporate standards, I'm sure: I sold beer to my friends after hours; I let the drunks who wandered in sleep in the closed-at-night parlor section; I drank on the job (but I paid for everything I drank); and I think I locked the doors once to masturbate. The last bit is a joke, but I couldn't think of anything else.
Anyway, I quit without giving notice 'cause some freak kept calling every Saturday night to ask how big my dick was. Kinda freaked me out.
Hey...I'm still alive.
==================================
I'm a straight guy, but I'm not a homophobe or anything like that. A gay guy is just a really, really, really really really REEALLY ugly chick...with a dong.
But you get uncomfortable when a bucket of yuck hits on you, too, right?
I also realize that my own occasional obsession with my hair makes me seem like a fanny bandit. Why wasn't good old Uncle Jesse on Full House considered a fag then? But I have gotten off my point.
What do you say when you're supposed to be nice to these people and a 60 year old man buying lottery tickets asks you to go to Paris with him? I panicked, and realized that I luckily had a picture of an ex girlfriend I forgot to take out of my wallet. Thank Xenu for weed allowing that photo to be left there to save me later.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-01-13 01:15:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I worked for a few months as a convenience store clerk when I was an undergrad. (Another story. I blame the fact that I have lots of stupid stories on the fact that I never played video games.) It was alright. I wasn't the best employee, by corporate standards, I'm sure: I sold beer to my friends after hours; I let the drunks who wandered in sleep in the closed-at-night parlor section; I drank on the job (but I paid for everything I drank); and I think I locked the doors once to masturbate. The last bit is a joke, but I couldn't think of anything else.
Anyway, I quit without giving notice 'cause some freak kept calling every Saturday night to ask how big my dick was. Kinda freaked me out.
Hey...I'm still alive.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2008-01-13 01:14:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking brilliant. Customers deserve the shit we do to their food.
Remember, asshole, your food was just FINE until you decided to get complainy over something unimportant. Then the floor spice happened.
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-01-13 01:09:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCKING A!!! Keep on preachin' brotha!!