It's Not Easy Being Super (1074 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0.68 on 54 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Leonore: Cape or Leotard? OR BOTH? (View user info) at 2008-01-14 12:10:34 EST
A nerd-type question for you, Uber:
Let's say, hypothetically, that you can take the role of any sci-fi or fantasy character you want. They can be from a comic book, novel, movie, anything you think is cool. If you wish, you can choose something general (Jedi, Knight of the Round Table, etc). By taking this role, you get all the powers/abilities/resources available to that role. So, if you picked the aforementioned Jedi, you'd get a lightsaber, nifty Force powers, and a smug sense of self-satisfaction.
But! Here's the rub: you also inherit all the problems associated with that role, and must deal with the adversaries and issues they typically do. A Jedi would have to roam around the galaxy fighting evil, can't give in to anger or have sex (apparently), and has to take orders from a two-foot Muppet. Batman has to deal with the psychological issues that came from his parents' deaths, the fact that he can't have a stable relationship, and a supervillain obsessed with alternatively killing him and buttsecksing him.
So, the question is, who would you pick and why?
(Yes, I know this post is shit, really.)
User Reviews
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-01-26 16:02:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the awesome title alone.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-01-16 10:53:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
id like to be jimmy page at 30 years of age.
id have a 59 les paul and so many grrls that i wouldnt know what to do with them first (like shoving salmon steaks up thier private parts).
id get to play with john bonham and i would pretty much be god.
win/win situation with no negatives.
except the heroin part, i guess thats a drawback.
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2008-01-16 03:32:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2008-01-14 18:50:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd be Lucifer from Neil Gaimman's Sandman
aka a being of unchallengeable power with a cocky wit that chills in a fancy piano bar. Classy AND sinister!
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He had no peener.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-01-15 05:35:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd be Berty from the hit fiction Ubersite because he has the power to 'get away with it'.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-01-14 21:06:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hahahahaha. Post-op tranny zombie bubba still sucks. Shocking that.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-01-14 21:01:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The collective effort of millions of years of evolution below. Disheartening, really.
Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2008-01-14 20:41:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I wanna be Rob Berg or Method. I always wanted to be stupid.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-01-14 19:34:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
PUNCH IT CHEWIE!
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-01-14 19:33:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-01-14 19:28:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i'd be a wookie
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kick ass.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-01-14 19:28:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i'd be a wookie
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-01-14 19:17:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-14 16:33:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
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Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-01-14 10:10:54 PST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd be Captain Shlongy and accept hummers from all Uber broads under 135lbs.
Well, these "rules" aren't set in stone, my dear. Exceptions are made all the time, on a case by case basis. You'd make the cut.
You're more than welcome to blow me.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2008-01-14 18:50:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd be Lucifer from Neil Gaimman's Sandman
aka a being of unchallengeable power with a cocky wit that chills in a fancy piano bar. Classy AND sinister!
Submitted by Leonore (user info) at 2008-01-14 18:29:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-01-14 18:13:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd be the crab from The Little Mermaid, because he totally scorches on "Under the Sea." Plus he lives in the ocean.
===
Winner!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-01-14 18:13:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd be the crab from The Little Mermaid, because he totally scorches on "Under the Sea." Plus he lives in the ocean.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-01-14 18:13:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd be Paul Gallier from "Cat People" so I could sleep with Nastassia Kinski. I, like Paul Gallier, would not care that she was my sister. That's kinky. In real, that would be gross, even though my sister is a lovely person.
If Nastassia Kinski were my sister, I'd be knocking boots with her daily.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-01-14 18:08:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
... although mostly its just the massive amount of asskickery.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-01-14 18:05:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Claws.
Submitted by Leonore (user info) at 2008-01-14 18:02:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-01-14 17:56:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wolverine.
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Aside from the massive amount of asskicking, why?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-01-14 17:56:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wolverine.
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2008-01-14 17:50:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's your post.
You can be anything.
Submitted by Leonore (user info) at 2008-01-14 17:47:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Can I be Doctor Who?
All I need is the TARDIS and a sonic-somethingorother.
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2008-01-14 16:45:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I was going to pick Jeannie from "I Dream of Jeannie", but I already hang around the house all day in loungewear carrying a bottle and with my head in a cloud of smoke.
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2008-01-14 16:44:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FrankenChrist (user info) at 2008-01-14 14:58:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i'd be...Indiana Jones
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Best answer ever.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-01-14 16:36:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-01-14 12:44:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-14 12:24:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd choose to have the power to make stupid posts go away and to have my balloon knot licked my by chicks with monikers like leonore.
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Choose something more practical, Simon. Like the ability to write just one post without butchering the English language.
haha
had, man was sposed to be made in god's image so god should surely have a johnson and a bean bag. the issue I take with this is that should also require that god has a belly button but not being born he wouldn't need it and then there's the adam and eve thing. did THEY have belly buttons? They weren't born either so wouldn't really need them.
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2008-01-14 16:33:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-01-14 14:17:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Batman. Always.
Batman.
___________________
Couldn't agree more. The no-stable-relationship thing is a blessing.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-14 16:33:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
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Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-01-14 10:10:54 PST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd be Captain Shlongy and accept hummers from all Uber broads under 135lbs.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2008-01-14 15:16:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Apocalypse from Marvel
Maybe one of the Q from Star Trek TNG.
or for something a little more literary: Marc Remillard (look it up)
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-01-14 15:08:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
sorry, foolproof, i already claimed 'God', and i don't want you as a son.
request denied.
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2008-01-14 15:08:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Abraham Lincolnstein. Stronger, faster, wiser. http://www.strk3.com/webimages/lincolnstein.gif
Submitted by FrankenChrist (user info) at 2008-01-14 14:58:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i'd be...Indiana Jones
Submitted by DeadToast (user info) at 2008-01-14 14:43:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Any mythical person.
Hmmm...
I'd be Jesus, but I'd have the foresight to use my powers to not be nailed to a goddamned cross. I'd fly away, or control minds, or whatever it was he could do.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-01-14 14:17:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Batman. Always.
Batman.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-01-14 13:42:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd be me. I'm already really good at it.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-01-14 13:12:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-01-14 13:10:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd be Captain Shlongy and accept hummers from all Uber broads under 135lbs.
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short list
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-01-14 13:10:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd be Captain Shlongy and accept hummers from all Uber broads under 135lbs.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-01-14 13:08:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Pure conjecture.
There are two schools of thought on these sorts of issues. One is that if it isn't in the Bible, it isn't real. I covered that already.
The other is that unless you can scientifically observe it, it doesn't exist. Since there are no recorded incidents of someone being hit by random flying God-spooge, it once again must not exist.
Either way, your life would be much the same as it is now. No getting rocks off for you. Just a bit more smiting.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-01-14 13:04:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
oh, i disagree, my dear hadley.
god is omnipotent, by all accounts, so if god wills that he have scrote and testes, scrote and testes he will have.
forever and ever amen.
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2008-01-14 13:03:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd be a Jesus robot.
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2008-01-14 13:03:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd would chose:
Blade, because he's a fucking bad ass.
Nightcrawler, because that teleport move he does is teh shiznit.
Solid Snake, because he kicks major ass and writes the names of the owners of said ass down on a piece of paper to then validate aforementioned asskickery.
For now, those three stand out in my mind. There are a lot of sweet characters out there, though.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-01-14 13:02:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Since there is nothing about God's nuts in the Bible, they don't exist.
Submitted by Leonore (user info) at 2008-01-14 12:58:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-01-14 12:57:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
yes, people would be asking, but just as with the present situation, there wouldn't be any listening.
and just because God doesn't need to bust a nut to make a little Godlet, doesn't mean he cannot bust a nut, right? right.
===
Ironclad troof.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-01-14 12:58:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
plus...you get to smite people. and that alone makes any hardship MORE than worthwhile.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-01-14 12:57:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
yes, people would be asking, but just as with the present situation, there wouldn't be any listening.
and just because God doesn't need to bust a nut to make a little Godlet, doesn't mean he cannot bust a nut, right? right.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-01-14 12:48:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Plus, scourge, you'd have to have a kid WITHOUT the orgasm.
Submitted by Leonore (user info) at 2008-01-14 12:47:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Scourge: but then you'd have to deal with people constantly asking for shit, and you know what that means in the OT. Lots and lots of burnt offerings.
Your crib would constantly reek of smouldering cattle and goat fat.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-01-14 12:45:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i would smite people left and fucking right, i would
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-01-14 12:44:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i'd be the Judeo-Christian 'God' figure
Old Testament stylee, please...that v2.0 from the New just isn't vengeful and wrathful enough for my tastes.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-01-14 12:44:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-14 12:24:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd choose to have the power to make stupid posts go away and to have my balloon knot licked my by chicks with monikers like leonore.
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Choose something more practical, Simon. Like the ability to write just one post without butchering the English language.
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2008-01-14 12:43:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That wouldn't be so bad...
Omnipotence, i like that one.
Submitted by Leonore (user info) at 2008-01-14 12:32:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2008-01-14 12:31:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I wouldn't mind being Q for a day.
And without math there would be no use for nerds...
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So, you'd roam around the galaxy being vague and mysterious to all the mortals you encountered?
And doesn't time have no meaning for Q? That means you'd be stuck as him FOREVAR.
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2008-01-14 12:31:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I wouldn't mind being Q for a day.
And without math there would be no use for nerds...
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-14 12:24:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd choose to have the power to make stupid posts go away and to have my balloon knot licked my by chicks with monikers like leonore.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-01-14 12:19:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
my power would be to do whatever I want whenever I want and no one else knew about it and i had a really good conscience so i didn't fuck people over.
oh and i can see boobs, behind any article of clothing. kind of like xray vision but Boobacentric.
I understand the collateral damage of man boob visions and long boob visions but i'm a fan so I'm ok with it.
Submitted by Leonore (user info) at 2008-01-14 12:18:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Caul would pick that guy Indochine sang about.
amirite?