My First DUI (562 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.38 on 29 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jimi Love <mob4lyfe05.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2008-01-14 12:10:55 EST
On the off chance that someone may read this I have changed the name of places/people to avoid any legal issues or... anything else involved. lets just get this clear: where i live has a 99% conviction rate for most crimes. Also, this story is epic.. i made the paper.
I used to work for a landscaping company for my friends father in my hometown in Virginia. My friend also had another friend of mine working for his dad and also staying at his house. That kids name is Ben. Well after work one day Ben and I decided to hang out with a few co-workers at the store and have a couple drinks. One turned into two and before I knew it we were hanging out at one of my co-worker's house (we will call this guy Phil) drinking large amounts and acting beligerent.
It had been long decided that we would all stay there that night and sleep due to all of our's obvious intoxication.
However, Later in the evening around 2-3 AM we all ran out of ciggarettes AND we were starting to get the midnight munchies.
Well somehow i was talked into jumping in the car with Ben and Phil to go get cigarettes and bologna(...yeah.. thats right). Needless to say when i pulled out of the driveway there was a car parked in a T form to mine and i backed right into the passenger side door. Later I found out it would be $1330 to fix that.
After I pulled out of the driveway Phil puked all over the side of my car.
I traveled about 5 mins to the local Bloom (used to be a Food Lion) and parked right up front. I sent Ben inside.
Now i've done a lot of crazy things and i got away with most but this tops the cake. Instead of grabbing some deli meat and some cigarettes Ben decided it was a good idea to replenish our beer situation.
In Virginia, it is illegal to purchase alcohol between 12AM-6AM. it was 2:30.
Ben did not decide to BUY beer. He instead filled up his arms with liek 5 24 cases of some cheap beer and preceded to the exit.
He was immediately followed.
Ben decided to run, dropping one case in attempt to slow down his persuer.
When he returned to the car( which i parked int he VERY front, where you pick up your groceries) he tried to throw allthese cases into my car and get me to drive off. Needless to say the manager was hot on his backside.
I was so angry i got out of the car and took out each case individually, setting them on the ground in front of the store, and told the manager that i was taking my friend home and that this was unacceptable and sorry to bother him bla, bla, bla...
Well the guy didnt want to hear it and in my inebriated state i kind of dont remember a word he said. I jus remeber nonchalantly getting back into the car saying sorry again and driving off in a normal manner, as if there was nothing wrong.
I got literally 1/10th of a mile away from the Bloom and there were 3 cop cars on my tail. Before i had a chance to slow down they rammed my car, both from the back and the side, while another cop got in front of me and slammed on his brakes.
The cops stopped me and approached the car guns out. The driver door was locked so they broke my window and attempted to pull me out. When they realized that my seatbelt was on the cop punched me in the face on his way to the release button of my seatbelt and busted a blood vessel in my eye. After he dragged me through broken glass out of my window he attempted to thrust me against the ground until i was unconcience.
I was charged with 1st offense DUI, underage possession of alcohol (the alcohol in my system... not a drop in the car), petty larceny, assulting a police vehicle(the car slamming on its brakes in front of me), and eluding the police(yeah.. seriously).
Needless to say when i actually woke up from being knocked out i was covered in blood and i was sitting handcuffed to a chair in the police station.
Later that night in jail a crackhead stole my toilet paper..
User Reviews
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-01-16 03:37:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i thought about writing about my DUI. The difference is I wasn't drunk, not even when I had been drinking a couple beers 4 hours beforehand. I only got one because I was underage (and under the motherfucking limit, but that doesnt matter). A friend of mine got a DUI because another drunk driver hit her car while she was trying to move it from the street to the driveway. So, I understand that not all DUI's are fair or justified.
That said, what the fuck were you thinking still driving after you t-boned the car parked behind you? Shouldn't that have been a fucking clue that you weren't on a lucky streak?
It would have been funny if the damage was worth $1337.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-01-16 01:47:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Oh, well then 2 things:
1) SWEET
2) see 1.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-01-16 01:42:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm not trying to kid anyone. i'm just trying to say you're extremely annoying.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-01-16 01:38:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-01-16 01:13:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
at least i got off my high horse a long fucking time ago. looks like you're still in the saddle, bud.
---
I like my horse, especially it's height.
...and who are you trying to kid, fella: you ooze pretentiousness everytime you log on.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-01-16 01:13:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
at least i got off my high horse a long fucking time ago. looks like you're still in the saddle, bud.
Submitted by jennaration (user info) at 2008-01-15 01:20:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
How many DUIs do you plan on getting?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-01-14 23:24:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Smoking IS fucking gross.
I feel you are trying to make some sort of point, yet failing miserably.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-01-14 23:15:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
saying drinking and driving is "fucking stupid" is like going up to a smoker after they light up and saying "you know that's bad for you, right?"
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-01-14 20:10:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Not to mention the dipshits who pontificate about the pontification.
Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2008-01-14 20:02:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-01-14 18:41:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
there will always be people lining up on this website to tell you how stupid drunk driving is, as if they've never done it themselves or anything else illegal for that matter. i wonder if they actually believe people take them seriously.
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I'll bet that 90% of the morons on this site have driven when they were beyond the legal limlt. They just want to pontificate and pretend to be cool. Dipshits.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-01-14 19:07:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Oh, and my 'stop being a tard' comment was based on the 3 posts today - including this gem:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/114335
Context.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-01-14 19:04:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-01-14 18:41:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
there will always be people lining up on this website to tell you how stupid drunk driving is, as if they've never done it themselves or anything else illegal for that matter. i wonder if they actually believe people take them seriously.
---
DO YOU BELIEVE THAT? SERIOUSLY?
Maybe it's just because saying 'it's fucking stupid' illustrates best the feeling that one might have on the particular subject.
My personal feelings on drinking and driving did not affect the enjoyment of the tale - but that doesn't mean I endorse it.
The communication offered on Ubersite is presented largely without context and is typically entirely relative. I find these tiny indications of personal philosophy - however limited - serve to avoid confusion and also add to the growing 'cult of personality' we are all so eager to achieve around here.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-01-14 18:41:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
there will always be people lining up on this website to tell you how stupid drunk driving is, as if they've never done it themselves or anything else illegal for that matter. i wonder if they actually believe people take them seriously.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-01-14 18:01:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
DUI is fucking stupid.
This story was pretty good. Stop being such a tard.
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-01-14 17:30:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-01-14 13:13:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Swell. So you're a loser. BFD.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2008-01-14 12:49:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
allow me to clarify for Gascs
The story could have been told better, regardless of content.
Driving drunk is dumb.
Submitted by gascs (user info) at 2008-01-14 12:39:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2008-01-14 12:37:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This could have been so much better.
Driving while drunk is stupid,
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-01-14 12:37:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ps. You fled the scene of a burglary. Eluding. That flight necessitated the police stopping you. Now, someone who is willing to flee a burglary usually doesn't stop just because the lights come on, so they stopped you. Quit crying you worthless fuck.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2008-01-14 12:37:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This could have been so much better.
Driving while drunk is stupid, even though Ihave done it myself a number of times, but neevr with such a grand level of Fail.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-01-14 12:31:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
you have a complete lack of ability when it comes to storytelling.
the structure of this, the way you introduced your characters, the seeming random inclusion of unneccessary facts...fucking everything about this made it annoying to read.
add that to the whole drunk driving thing and you get a big fat -2
Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2008-01-14 12:25:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-01-14 12:23:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
DUI = Fuck off, but I'm too lazy to change the rating.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-14 12:20:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've had a similar run in, except I wasn't stealing, or running, or with anyone.
Submitted by Lord_Ferg (user info) at 2008-01-14 12:16:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-01-14 12:16:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
will there be a rest of this? Not sure that I believe either but I also do not care.
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2008-01-14 12:15:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Heh
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2008-01-14 12:14:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know if I believe you.
Submitted by Leonore (user info) at 2008-01-14 12:14:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Helluva story. Don't care if it happened or not.