No Place In The World Of Today (675 hits)
Category: Politics -> LibertariansRating: 1.65 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Hourman (View user info) at 2008-01-15 08:47:29 EST
"It's funny," He turns to the men sitting next to him "most people go through life without ever really living. You see 'em all the time, no real worries... normal suburban lives, which suits 'em fine... I just don't get it... how mundane do you really want to be?"
He is clean shaven and handsome, and looks comfortable perched on a stool, holding his over priced liquor. He's in a tailor made suit, and the stifling smell of arrogance and grandeur suffocates most who venture too close.
The man in the middle is slumped over the bar, the world is resting on his shoulders, Atlas just gave up and it feels like he has to pick up the slack. "You know what mate, I'm not even fucking sure what to do with my own cunting life. All I can think about is all the things I've missed out on you know? All the world I'll never see" The weathered face, and sweaty brow show he's been drinking heavily, and he looks unwashed, like he hasn't bathed in days, and the creases on his forehead show a man betrothed to worry "I just... I love my wife and kids don't get me wrong.... But there's this woman-"
The third man pipes up, and believe me, he's just average... in every conceivable way his mediocrity pours out of his very pores and like viscous tar it engulfs those nearest "There's always a woman. That's the trick to marriage you dumb fuck, keep your pecker in your pants and think with the noggin, that's what my old man used to say. He was married to my mum for 56 years... granted he wanted to kill her in the end... but hey, life isn't always about fun and happiness, it's about responsibility and doing what's right, it's abou-"
"You mother-fucking-pussy! Exclaims the first man "You god damned under the thumb asshole! What the fuck ever happened to you anyway? You get hooked with your missus, who by the way is only your missus cause you got her drunk and had yourself a little mistake, and all of a sudden you have precisely... let me think... no fucking balls!" His age and 'worldliness' is suddenly clear, his eyes shine with distant lands and exotic stories "You only say all that shit because you're a coward and you can't admit what you really want."
The man in the middle grabs his own face and squeezes it, as if he's trying to pop a zit the size of his head "Jesus Christ" he mutters, "At least you guys are settled... you've made your decisions, fine, you don't agree, but you have a plan or at least an idea! I'm still in my own little indecisive bubble.
"I mean, I could continue my charade with my life, go back to work and pass up the opportunity of true love and life with Shelly, or I guess I could grab it by the horns... but then there are my kids... although so many kids come from a broken home... I guess they'd be ok... and Clarice could always find someone new... I know that's harsh... but I'm sure she'd rather I left and didn't lie than live my whole life resenting her..."
The first man grins and laughs, whilst the second shakes his head slowly "Just remember, you have responsibilities, what is more important to you? You or your kids? You can work at your marriage, it doesnlt have to be doom and gloom if you put the effort back into it!"
The first man shoves the second man away "Fuck that boring dick, and do what you want to do! Clarice suffocates you man... for once do what you want to do! You want to leave! So do it! There'll be hot chicks, booze, new worlds, adventure! No kids or bills! Jesus it'll be like you haven't sold your soul to the devil!"
From the floor the first man stands up and dusts himself off, "Your kids need you Pete... they do. Don't fuck this up. You know what it's like to have a broken home, would you risk it all for a bit of fun? You can work on your marriage... you can work on being happy, it's all relative"
This time the first man reaches right over Pete and grabs the third man by the neck, he doesn't stop punching. Pete grabs his head again, and looks at the bar, tracing the droplets of the previous seven beers he's had... "Maybe you're right" he says out loud as the first man finally punches the third man so hard he falls to the floor. A crumpled mess of incomprehensible jargon, occasionally muttering something, as the first man finally kicks him square in the face "Yeah... yeah I know what I have to do"
Pete gets up and leaves, he pays for his drink and the two men fade into the shadows of his subconscious.
Common sense and honour have no place in the world of today.
User Reviews
Submitted by deathmobile (user info) at 2008-01-21 20:59:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I very much enjoyed your character descriptions.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-01-16 16:09:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
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Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-01-16 16:09:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2008-01-16 15:49:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2008-01-15 20:16:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think more people with children should get divorced. Kids are too sheltered nowadays. They need to toughen up. What better way to do that than to throw some difficult life experiances at them?
Besides, otherwise there'll be far too much awkward, quiet time during therapy when they're older.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-01-15 12:40:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I haha
I
I
V
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-01-15 12:36:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Alright Shadow, interesting point there.
Have you considered that there are people out there who make their partners lie on their fronts, straddle their backs and pop acne? That both of them truly love the experience, for totally different reasons?
I have no real point, I just thought that was a thoroughly tripped out mental image.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-01-15 12:30:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I could see your point Berty, but I am of the opinion that we MAKE our environment. I never understand when people keep themselves in the unpleasant situations while there is an endless world of possibility out there. And even if you have a kid or kids, you can make adjustments without destroying yourself or the things you want.
I've been a much happier person since I replaced "sacrifice" with "compromise" in my vocabulary, I don't miss out and I don't go broke. I suppose it requires a light touch, and a very good sense of priority.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-01-15 11:55:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-01-15 11:37:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It was Worth Reading.
Not sure that I agree, or even understand why you'd have to sacrifice one for the other. I know a couple that's been married twenty years and one of their favorite pass-times is to pick a new country, and make it their vacation spot for the year. The kids come along too, sharing the adventure.
I think the misery comes into play when you decide is HAS TO BE one or the other, instead of making the right compromises to have both, you sacrifice one for the other. It doesn't have to be that cut and dry.
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I don't agree in the slightest. One learns to live in harmony with one's environement or one destroys oneself in a spectacle of self-loathing. The specifics of the environment are irrelevant.
This is why none of us should ever get in relationships with depressed people, no matter how good they may be at cuddling.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-01-15 11:37:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It was Worth Reading.
Not sure that I agree, or even understand why you'd have to sacrifice one for the other. I know a couple that's been married twenty years and one of their favorite pass-times is to pick a new country, and make it their vacation spot for the year. The kids come along too, sharing the adventure.
I think the misery comes into play when you decide is HAS TO BE one or the other, instead of making the right compromises to have both, you sacrifice one for the other. It doesn't have to be that cut and dry.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-01-15 10:55:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2008-01-15 10:52:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
After deleting 3 comments, i'll stick to the classic: No Comment.
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Just say it Rorrim. Granted; your comments won't be as interesting as mine but that's no need to be ashamed. A mouse may not be able to jump the moon, but it's still awesome to see one do a backflip.
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2008-01-15 10:52:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
After deleting 3 comments, i'll stick to the classic: No Comment.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-01-15 10:41:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh yeah and by "scruffy, vagabondish" I was reffering to hedonistic folk rather than salesmen. I apologise, but when I was mashing the keyboard with my spasticated limbs and groaning, Clare mis-translated. I did try to wollop her for her error but sadly I have terrible vision and atrocious muscle control and succeded only in knocking my juice cartoon to the floor.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-01-15 10:38:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bugger the whole preconceptions of salespeople! I'm talking about injecting bias into his perspectives, which is all good and proper, by describing the selfish adulterer as appealing, succesful and generally laudable.
What, however, I did not make clear was that the consequences of a life without stability, vis-a-vis mediocrity and banality, are anxiety and insecurity over the long term. I reckon that mayhap some sort of 'the Beauty of the Bastard is only skindeep' analogy going on could have further strengthend (sp?) Hourman's point that current decadent moral standards are fundamentally destructive to people's lives.
ALTHOUGH; saying that, the juxtaposition of your hollow 'good' character against the 'bad' one didn't come off as very effective (at least to me) because he lacked an injection of substance. I'm fully aware that that was Hourman's intention; to throw light on the general lack of prominence of not being a treacherous motherfucker in modern day society, but I'm just saying that this led to a conclusion of "we're all cunts" rather than "We're cunts but perhaps we should be like this" which may have been a more solid end to the post.
Perhaps that was Hourman's intention, perhaps he really has no fucking clue as to whether or not we actually do lack moral fiber. Fuck, for all I know Hourman's brain is a huge bubble of water with a thin crust of brain matter and all he did was mash the keyboard with his spasticated limbs then groan at his carer to translate it into semi-english. I'm just trying to say I thought it was but I have a difference of opinion on some points.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2008-01-15 10:35:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks man, appreciated
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-01-15 10:32:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hmmm...this might be my favourite thing you've written. it could use some polish, but still an engaging little thing.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2008-01-15 10:08:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-01-15 09:53:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was good and all, so kudos for that, but I'm not sure I agree with your personification of reckless hedonism being some kind of succesful salesman type. Normally those types of guys tend to be scruffy, vagabondish, sorts.
I mean fair play if all you were going for was a sort of veiled attack on the nuclear family but otherwise you might want to think about how you created bias through the descriptions of your characters.
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wow, i don't know what kind of salesmen you know, but the good ones, have the cash to not be scruffy. And the ones that are scruffy, are the es-student/ fresh faced ones, like me.
I wasn;t going for an attack on the nuclear family.
I was going for the idea that in todays world, marriage and kids can mean nothing to somepeople. It's just odd how far are morals have come. Interesting and to be expected I suppose though.
Thanks for the crit guys.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-01-15 10:00:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I guess my view of the salesman wouldn't conflict as I see him as the pollished smooth talker who's comfortable with going out and meeting women and seizing the things he deesires. i imagine that's kind of what he was after.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-01-15 10:00:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Also I think by the last paragraph I was kind of sick of the whole "the third man this" and "the first man that" routine you had going on there. If imaginary characters can have names then there's no reason the imaginary characters of imaginary charecters can't have names too.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-01-15 09:53:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was good and all, so kudos for that, but I'm not sure I agree with your personification of reckless hedonism being some kind of succesful salesman type. Normally those types of guys tend to be scruffy, vagabondish, sorts.
I mean fair play if all you were going for was a sort of veiled attack on the nuclear family but otherwise you might want to think about how you created bias through the descriptions of your characters.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-01-15 09:52:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2008-01-15 09:11:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I suppose it's the equivalent to being the best loser, because by definition one would then be winning at losing, and therefore no longer a loser...
Meh, it's all semantics and appreciate the point.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-01-15 09:03:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i would say that in order to 'ooze' something one would have to be 'exceptional' at it or with it and thus no longer mediocre
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2008-01-15 09:01:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-01-15 08:58:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
additionally the name 'Clarice' has forever been ruined by Hannibal Lecter
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now that is so true. How the fuck did I forget that???? ok fair point.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2008-01-15 09:00:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If you've never met someone who has a n oozing like quality. Like some men ooze pervert, and some ooze sleaze. This dude oozed mediocrity. Anyway, that's the most constructive least offensive thing you've ever said to me... so fair enough and duly noted.
Sico- I'm gonna run wild on you brothel!
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-01-15 08:58:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
additionally the name 'Clarice' has forever been ruined by Hannibal Lecter
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-15 08:56:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hulk Hogan's leg drop was atomic.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-01-15 08:55:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
its hard for me to imagine that mediocrity would be vicious or could 'engulf'
what i mean to say is well to describe someone that is the epitome of mediocrity I would think one would do so in the most curt fashion possible along the lines of 'more could be said about the whiteness of an eggshell than could be about this man' or something along those lines