An Uber Exclusive: Jack McCallum's Tattoo (1533 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dirty HumorRating: 1.35 on 87 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by I believe in Don Henley's afro (View user info) at 2008-01-17 10:27:56 EST
This shouldn't surprise anyone.
He has one on his ass that is even more unbelievable, but he wouldn't let me take a picture of it.
User Reviews
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-23 15:36:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahaha.
I thought that was your sister.. you've redone your hair?
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Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-01-23 11:47:06 PST (#)
Ranking: 0
Look asshole, when I sent you that pic of me, I asked you to not post it
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-01-17 21:42:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-01-17 16:59:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-17 16:55:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-01-17 16:36:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
That picture is ancient.
So does Jack lube his gut before diddling his navel or just scrape the jizz off his chest and re-heat it under the fat rolls?
--
Always putting the planet first, HotWillie recycled everything, including his insults.
--
Like you recycle your stories?
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-17 16:58:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
just for you
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-17 16:56:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-17 16:19:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh ok, Ass and vag is all? Totally acceptable.
like flannel
--
...
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-17 16:55:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-01-17 16:36:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
That picture is ancient.
So does Jack lube his gut before diddling his navel or just scrape the jizz off his chest and re-heat it under the fat rolls?
--
Always putting the planet first, HotWillie recycled everything, including his insults.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-01-17 16:36:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
That picture is ancient.
So does Jack lube his gut before diddling his navel or just scrape the jizz off his chest and re-heat it under the fat rolls?
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2008-01-17 16:29:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
LOL
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-01-17 16:20:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
SUre sure but a cat's ass tatooed on a fat fuck is juuuuust fine.
lousy double standards.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-17 16:19:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh ok, Ass and vag is all? Totally acceptable.
like flannel
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-01-17 16:19:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Crap! Gotta go. Almost 3:30 Central, aka, the time I get to go home!
Yay!
Bicth.
Freakish gingers. You n' cat-butt McCallum.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-01-17 16:17:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's not THAT nsfw.
Just a little. I mean, there's only a picture of an ass, and another ass with vag showing getting beaten with a stick. Jesus. They can't hack that where you work? You need a new job.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-17 16:16:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I know... :-)
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-01-17 16:15:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Not at all. Tranny has been directed at me before on Uber.
As I always say, check the throat, people, the throat!
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-01-17 16:15:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bitch.
:-(
Nobody loves me.
:-(
<rents chevy malibu>
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-17 16:14:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah, but I'm at work.
the post clearly says NSFW
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-01-17 16:14:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OOO OOO OOO! I MADE A POST! I MADE A POST! OOO OOO OOO!
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-17 16:13:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
macroscope maybe, but def. not a microscope.
the tranny thing really was too far, wasn't it?
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-17 16:12:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahaha
Very true.. but you should, just to see the faces when they realize they can see you without a microscope!
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-01-17 16:10:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Just think Crystle, I can never go to an Ubercon. It would be too disappointing to everyone when they find out I'm actually NOT a walking skeleton.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-17 16:08:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
anyone know where I can pick up a case of Scarlet Fever?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-01-17 16:06:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm always overjoyed when I come down with a bad case of stomach/intestinal flu.
Helps take an extra 5 pounds off!
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-17 16:02:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
bald and skeletal is hot, right?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-17 16:01:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-01-17 16:00:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Does anyone want to exchange purging techniques?
--
Pick an oriface. Any oriface.
Sorry.
CHOOSE an oriface, any oriface.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-17 16:01:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oooh oooh sign me up!
I need to fit into shlongy's concept of "Ideal" or I'll DIE!!!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-17 16:00:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Who said FG was greasy? I'm the one who is covered in a greasy, enraged sweat.
If the cold is numbing your brain, a nice warm cozy flannel shirt would be just the thing.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-01-17 16:00:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Does anyone want to exchange purging techniques?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:58:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
But they're better when you stack 'em.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:58:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm a fat tree.
FAT!
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:58:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait... FG's GREASY now?
Is she Method's mom or what?
Where's Quint when you need him?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:56:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Quit eating cheesecakes 3 at a time then, Jack.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:56:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ok... you're built LIKE A TREE!!! Size 4 comes that way, you know...
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:55:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You're still a bicth, Crystle.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:55:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Skinny broads like you are no match for my 300lbs of rage. Once I work up a sweat and come at you naked you can't get past my bulk and you can't get a grip on my slick hide. No escape, no fighting back. When I drop on you in a flying cross body-block you'll shoot across the room like a fucking tiddlywink. BITCH.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:55:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
no, I don't really have a problem with flannel.... it's just another random factoid that I found slightly amusing.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:54:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Quit calling me skinny.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:54:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Coranado may be closer.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:54:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:52:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
more so than flannel does....apparently
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What's your deal, toots? Got a problem with flannel shirts? Flannel shirts on cold days? Huh?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:53:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:48:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Who am I kidding? I can't dance. Or sing. Or act. I never should have moved out here to Hollywood. I'm depressed now, and working as a waiter.
I think I'm gonna rent a car and go jump off the Golden Gate Bridge.
--
At least you'll have a five hour drive to think it over...
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:52:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
more so than flannel does....apparently
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:52:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
McCallum, naked, enraged, surrounded by cats.
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:51:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd still fuck Paula. She's still kinda hot for an old hag.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:51:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's pretty much how I spend all my time at home, though.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:50:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Being naked and enraged at work might put my career at risk.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:50:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Uh, I mean, feel my naked rage.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:49:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
no, just try out for American Idol like everyone else who can't sing or dance.
Give me a bottle of vodka and I'll play Paula to Apollo's Simon. Kracka can sit in as Randy...
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:49:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Feel me naked and enraged, forenSTICKgirl!
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:48:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Who am I kidding? I can't dance. Or sing. Or act. I never should have moved out here to Hollywood. I'm depressed now, and working as a waiter.
I think I'm gonna rent a car and go jump off the Golden Gate Bridge.
:-(
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:47:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nice dance, Director, but I think you were a little soft on the ending there.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:46:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that's better.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:46:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
LOSING IT!!!
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:46:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you accidently spelled that all correctly, Jack.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:46:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
cking foreign sick girl can sh
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:43:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The cello thing was entirely complimentary, believe me.
And the bow? That's the skinny FUCKING bitch who wrote this post.
Not that I'm suggesting any prolonged x-rated lesbo action or anything. God no.
A quick shower frolic captured on digital video will do fine.
CHRIST I'm bored, and I have a towering mountain of shitwork to get through.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:43:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Right
*pops boner*
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:43:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
me?
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Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-17 12:40:40 PST (#)
Ranking: 2
fukcig godmanned gucking bitch you fu
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:42:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hmmmmm
dance
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:41:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, what do you want me to do sweet tits? I can dance a little, sing a little, write an emo poem, make dick and fart jokes, or pop a boner.
What'll it be?
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:40:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm WAITING
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:40:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fukcig godmanned gucking bitch you fu
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:34:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Crystal I'll entertain you. huh huh.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:33:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that was too far, wasn't it?
sorry. please come back and entertain me!
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:32:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
dang it, where'd you all go to? I wanna camp!
this is the obvious post for it because as everyone knows, nothing is more camp than a bad tranny.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:22:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ooooh.. bored people who aren't 12! NICE
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:10:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Meh. I don't care. I'm just fucking bored stupid right now. I'm writing a fucking book, and that is some tedious shit, man, let me tell you, sister.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:09:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry.
I didn't bother doing a search for cat ass tattoos. It has been pointed out that this has already been all over Uber.
But, sorry I didn't link you.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-01-17 15:05:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
*AHEM*
http://www.ubersite.com/m/110293
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-17 13:58:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
not just guys either.
*hangs head*
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-01-17 12:26:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-17 11:19:29 CST (#)
Ranking: 2
How many other guys have fallen for your bullshit, huh? How the fuck was I supposed to know that you can soak up more Jack Daniels than a fucking SpongeBob parade float? I don't remember much after we started in on that second bottle and you said we could take turns taking naked pictures of each other, but I DO remember you saying 'Why don't you drop trou and let me see that cute butt.' Then you made some crack about not having a wide angle lens, and the next thing I know the door of the motel room is wide open and you're gone and some jagoff tourist and his wife and kids are standing there laughing at my giant pale moon-like ass.
++++++
Quite a few. I've got about 10 gigs worth of blackmail pics and documents on various people.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-01-17 12:24:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-17 11:03:36 CST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fortunately for Jack, said carcass would fit into a regular sized Glad Ziplock baggie...
+++++
Still an anfry, jelous bicth I see.
hahahaha @ regular size.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-17 12:19:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
How many other guys have fallen for your bullshit, huh? How the fuck was I supposed to know that you can soak up more Jack Daniels than a fucking SpongeBob parade float? I don't remember much after we started in on that second bottle and you said we could take turns taking naked pictures of each other, but I DO remember you saying 'Why don't you drop trou and let me see that cute butt.' Then you made some crack about not having a wide angle lens, and the next thing I know the door of the motel room is wide open and you're gone and some jagoff tourist and his wife and kids are standing there laughing at my giant pale moon-like ass.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-01-17 12:11:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Every time I see Don Henley's name, I fall over in anger.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-01-17 12:03:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fortunately for Jack, said carcass would fit into a regular sized Glad Ziplock baggie...
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Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-17 08:20:20 PST (#)
Ranking: 2
You bitch.
You are fuckin dead. I know where you are.
Enjoy this +2 and see how much it helps when I ditch your bloodless carcass in the Nevada desert.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-01-17 11:23:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2008-01-17 11:10:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Method's Mom has a tattoo of Willie Nelson between her legs
Buahahahahahahah
Locksly has a tattoo of Richard Simmons on his back.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-17 11:20:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You bitch.
You are fuckin dead. I know where you are.
Enjoy this +2 and see how much it helps when I ditch your bloodless carcass in the Nevada desert.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-01-17 11:17:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-01-17 11:12:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
only slightly funny
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2008-01-17 11:10:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Method's Mom has a tattoo of Willie Nelson between her legs
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-01-17 11:07:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-01-17 09:29:35 CST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuckin Hell. You made me laugh.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-01-17 11:00:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
why the fuck would you do that anyway?
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2008-01-17 10:51:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh God
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2008-01-17 10:49:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh my
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-17 10:43:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Not only has this been on uber several times it's so old it's not that funny anymore, even given the context. Sorry.
Cue hadley chasing me around comment.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-01-17 10:41:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that's some seriously funny shit.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2008-01-17 10:37:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The gentleman in the picture would be the perfect candidate for sterilization.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-01-17 10:32:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-01-17 10:29:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuckin Hell. You made me laugh.
YOU made me laugh. I'm gonna go shower. I feel dirty.