dui #2 (291 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -1.3 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jimi Love <mob4lyfe05.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2008-01-22 11:29:44 EST
2 summers ago I was in a bad place in my life. I guess i had kind of said "fuck the world" for a while because so many things werent going my way. I eventually went into an ongoing process of partying 24/7 and drinking massive amounts of alcohol. Me and a few other wild ass kids used to go to a cut in the local river where every weekend we would go to party because it was surrounded by forest and it crossed county line if you crossed the river... so cops wouldnt bother us since theyd have to cross the water to get to us.
I can honestly say at this point in my life i was having a blast... this place was kind of our areas tradition to just trash and party so all the best looking girls and best parties were done there.
One fine friday afternoon i was there with the crew and we all were getting wasted riding jet skis and smokin a little... ahem. Anyways we were all having a good time. Out of no where a FLOCK of some females with nothing but small bikini's, big breasts, and lots of alcohol. Needless to say we were in for a treat.
We spent the afternoon with the ladies until it started to get darker and darker which we decided to take this little shindig to dry land over at my boy derek's house. We normally brought girls back here soo this time was not anything different.
I will say this: these girls were drunk. crunk as fuck. i dont know whether they were in a "fuck the world" mode too or what but these girls were taking wild turkey and jim beam to the face(cheap ass whores!)
I will also note: i am no casanova. I honestly think i get laid by luck.
As the night had kind of started to wind down we decided that everyone was really really drunk. I lived about 25 minutes away at the time these girls were in the mode to get into my parents hottub. At the time i felt kinda drunk but ive always taken pride on my ability to drive before that so i didnt worry about it. breifly before we left i started a session of heavy petting wiht me and 2 other girls so needless to say i was pretty ready to go.
I left Derek's with the quickness. 8 people in a little ford escort drunk as hell. I was blairing music and getting everyone all hyped up because honestly i do that all the time.
before i made it to county line bridge i got pulled over. I put liek 5 sticks of gum in my mouth and got out the car when he asked me to but he simply stated "you think a little gum is going to get that smell off you?"... needless to say the cop wasnt digging the fact that we were all about to go home and get some.
Turned out iw as going 57 in a 35. I refused my breathalizer hoping it would get my dui dropped for lack of evidence.... yeah.. where im from = 99% conviction rate.
I wish that was the end of the story but the biggest part left out is: what the hell happened to the people in the car?
Well turned out everyone was just as drunk as i said they were. When they seen me get put in the back of the car they got out and just started running. I watched one girl get strait tazered onto the ground and my boy brian get tackled into some bush down a hill.
Guys: if your wasted and your going to get laid take a fucking taxi.
ohh and the magistrate gave me a $5000 bond and i jus got my liscense back on saturday.. year and a half later.
User Reviews
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-22 12:04:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
These are the quality posts we need more of around here.
Submitted by Talibandrew (user info) at 2008-01-22 11:49:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Nevermind, fuck ya.
Submitted by Talibandrew (user info) at 2008-01-22 11:49:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Just to humiliate you more by putting it back on the front page.
Submitted by Talibandrew (user info) at 2008-01-22 11:47:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Soo...That's it? You got a DUI...scratch that, ANOTHER DUI, and you decide to tell us about the mundane details of your retarded decision to drive while under the influence of alcohol and other controlled substances because you think you might be able to contract some sexually transmitted diseases from a couple of drunk whores at your parents house? You truly are my hero.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-01-22 11:39:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-01-22 11:38:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't even know where to begin. Erase your browser's history and NEVER return here again.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-01-22 11:38:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't even know where to begin. Erase your browser's history and NEVER return here again.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-01-22 11:37:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
What they said.
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2008-01-22 11:37:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Your a liar, those "pretty" women, were my aunts. How "drunk" were you? Mildred wants her panties back.
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2008-01-22 11:37:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
When they seen me get put in the back of the car they got out and just started running. I watched one girl get strait tazered onto the ground and my boy brian get tackled into some bush down a hill.
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You have an interesting patois. You wouldn't happen to be from Mississippi?
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2008-01-22 11:34:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I wish everyone had gotten out your car. Then I wish you hit a big apostrophe and died. I really can not express the annoyance you cause me.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-01-22 11:33:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
you're like a MORE retarded version of Perkman. the fact that such a thing can exist makes me want to blow my own head off.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2008-01-22 11:32:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
great story, crunk as fuck...
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-01-22 11:32:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
YOU WAS LIVIN LARGE, NIGGAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!