i'm smiling (432 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.43 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by james6839 (View user info) at 2008-01-27 09:50:11 EST
He swayed onto the dancefloor. The handful of drinks he'd had earlier had hit his gut harder than he'd thought they would. His eyes scanned the crowd, looking for the people he had arrived with. The faces blurred into one another. Worry was starting to gnaw at his gut. Where the hell had they gone? He struggled to remember the names of each of the other guys in the group. It occurred to him that he barely knew any of them. They were acquaintances he knew from work, barely exchanging a few words with any of them each day. He didn't consider any of them a friend exactly, and he had been a long time gone before spotting the brunette at the bar, the one with that enigmatic smile.
It was the smile that had caught his attention. It could have meant anything, from condescending arrogance to an invitation. He had approached her with a curiosity he din't normally feel when pursuing women; his relationships usually consisted of emotionless one-night stands, with a second appearance being a rarity. He hadn't felt curiosity ,beyond the carnal, about a women in a long time. All thoughts of the other guys had dissappeared from his mind in as little time as it took to picture the brunette back at his place, her face contorting in pleasure,genuine or otherwise. She looked up, meeting his eyes as he sidled up beside her. The smile begiining to spread across his face died in the womb. Her smile, that mysterious, confusing smile slipped off her's, in a way that imparted a mask-like quality to her face. Her expression became unreadable.
"Been a long time" she said, in that husky voice that had entranced him all those years ago. Now it just made him shiver, as if someone pressed an icicle against his back. He'd be damned if he'd become snared in this spider's web a second time
"I was just leaving" he replied, and, without waiting for a reply turned on his heel and walked away. Walked away. What he should have done the last time. He was not a man to forget past mistakes.
Making his way around the dancefloor, making sure the others were gone before leaving himself, he found it hard to stop thinking about the girl. Thoughts of her had haunted him daily through the years, despite the pain that always came with them. It had been a bitter-sweet time for him, with the happiness she had brought him offset by finding out that it was all built on a foundation of lies. All lies. The dancer nearest him looked at him oddly. He did his best to compose himself, fearing he had betrayed his feelings on his face. Roughly shouldering his way off the dancefloor, he made his way to the door. The others were long gone.
Back at the bar, the girl took another sip from her glass. A small smile crossed her lips. The smile grew until it became a small, tinkling laugh. She had hoped he would spot her at the bar. She had done her best to make sure of it. The dress she was wearing could have aroused a three-day old corpse. She wondered if he had any idea of what was to come. Thinking again of the look of surprise on his face when he saw her, surprise mixed with remembered pain, she doubted he thought their meeting anything other than pure coincidence. She was pleased. Things had gone well. She laughed that musical, whimsical laugh a second time. No, she doubted very much that he had the slightest idea of what she had planned for him.
User Reviews
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-01-31 15:53:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i liked it well enough to say hi and welcome.... keep it up.
Submitted by loopdeloo (user info) at 2008-01-28 13:29:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-01-28 11:43:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by PukingDog (user info) at 2008-01-28 01:36:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Don't sweat it. I mean, this is not very good unless you plan to continue it so that it is coherent, and the grammar is heinous, but keep at it. Creative fiction is good.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-01-28 00:10:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awkwardly written in places...
Interesting enough, though.
Plus your user name is awesome to me in ways you will never fully understand.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-01-27 22:57:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
OK, so it wasn't Shakespeare. It also wan't a Perkman post. I found it enjoyable. Welcome to Ubersite.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-01-27 17:59:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-01-27 17:34:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I am not reading that. Welcome anyway.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-01-27 17:27:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i also dislike fartman quite a bit.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-01-27 16:36:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/114608
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2008-01-27 16:29:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
comment (optional)
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-01-27 13:15:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2008-01-27 13:12:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/114595
=========
Good comeback.
Submitted by spacemonkey (user info) at 2008-01-27 13:12:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
mediocre
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2008-01-27 13:12:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/114595
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-01-27 12:44:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i'm not
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2008-01-27 12:01:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
DICTIONOWNED
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-01-27 11:50:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2008-01-27 11:35:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"Handful of drinks" is totally inappropriate.
"Don't bother (-2)" isn't.
************
Bullshit.
hand·ful
1. The amount that a hand can hold.
2. A small, undefined number or quantity: only a handful of people on the street.
3. Informal One that is difficult to control or handle: The hyperactive toddler is a real handful.
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2008-01-27 11:35:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"Handful of drinks" is totally inappropriate.
"Don't bother (-2)" isn't.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-01-27 09:52:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No one else will be after reading this piece of shit.