Bad cop, Bad cop THE MOVIE Pt2 (509 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.7 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by locksly (View user info) at 2008-01-27 11:52:32 EST
http://www.ubersite.com/m/114527 :Part 1
In Scenes 1,2 & 3, we establish that Det Mahogany and Det Redwood are L.A's most badass cops. They break all the rules and are prepared to against City Hall in order to get their man... In this case a Master Locksmith (played by The Rock) who will stop at nothing to supply terrorists with a Master 'Key to the City'.
..............................................................SCENE 4..................................................................
The camera angles in on an exclusive Locksmith store in Rodeo Drive. The Master Locksmith is in a backroom consorting with his criminal gang, the realistic gang consists of a tattooed Hispanic, a caucasian with a ponytail, an asian triad, an african american gangbanger and a posh german chick in a business suit.
"Sir, we have intelligence that suggests an undercover team has formed to investigate the Master Locksmith!" said an excited Frau
Jana, a smoking hot german who was the right hand man (woman) in The Rock's illegal Locksmith operation
"I'm not worried, they've come hard after me before, and lets just say I came harder all over them, uh, I mean on them.. I... mean I shot and killed 4 police officers! Fuck." Said a frustrated The Rock.
"Yo, but peeps this Master L, I was conversating wit my peeps on da streets and this brother cold said that the two pigs who be watching you is 2 bad ass motherfucking cops" Drawled Shorty G, one of the newer members of the token multicultural crimegang that realistically portrays life inside a stereotypical Hollywood criminal element.
"Sir, he is right. My sources tell me the two cops are... Det Mahogany and Det Redwood" Said Frau Jana
"Mahogany and Redwood?" The Rock looked dazed (his 2nd of 3 emotions) "I've heard they're badass, but you'll need a pretty badass to make me stop and look, I mean stop and get booked..."
The Rock got up and peered through the blinds on his office window "You'll need a pretty badass indeed" he muttered under his breath, "indeed".
____________________________________________END SCENE________________________________________
Our two detectives pull up out the front of an abonded meatworks factory, they are in a beat up 1970's Transam, Bruce Springsteen music blaring. L.A's baddest cops are about to go deep undercover and work their way into the Criminal Locksmith Underworld.
"Hey Big Red, you got the briefcase with the hidden microphone and phoney cash?" asked Det Mahogany, who was dressed as a used car salesman
"Duh, yes, I think so" Replied the simple Det Redwood, who was posing as high school janitor.
"Y'know Redwood... Theres 2 types of people in the world, people who can answer a fucking question properly - and you, now which one are you gonna be? A mexican or a mexican't?" shouted det Mahogany.
"Duh, I think this is the spot" Said a confused Det Redwood, furrowing his brow as in that funny way simple people do when they're thinking too hard.
The Transam pulls up and the Hispanic gangsta from The Master Locksmiths crew walks over to meet the veicle.
"Jew got the cash padre?" Says the Hispanic in an accent patronising to Latinos and Mexicans everywhere
"How bout you show me the keys first? And tell me once again why we are meeting out here to conduct illegal trade" said Det Mahogany with a smile on his face.
"Yeah make sure you say it loud cause the microphone is inside the briefcase pocket" added Redwood, receiving a swift jab in the ribs from Det Mahogany,
"Uh.. I mean, I'm proud to have a xylophone inside my jacket pocket" nodded Redwood
"Jew know one thing? you gringos are crazy, the keys are all here - special car keys for any bmw and mercedes" said the gangsta and handed over a small box.
"Well we got oursleves a 'problemo' see, I don't give cash to no messenger boy, you better speedy gonzales us to meet your boss in person, or else we don't got no deal dirty sanchez" said Det Mahogany in a menacing tone.
"But the boss is in a spin class, he won't be out for at least 40 minutes!" complained the gangsta
"Spin class hey? Y'know something?" said Det Mahogany as he casually got out the car and walked up to face the Hispanic bad guy
"I used to teach a class of my own when I was a bit younger"
"Jew did, what did you teach?" asked the eager gangsta
"I taught people how not to get their fucking face torn off"
"How do you teach people that?" asked the gangsta
"Well for starters you try not to let my fist cave in your fucking skull!"
KRACK, Detective Mahogany drew back his fist and punched the Hispanic tough at full force right in the left cheekbone, his fist shattered the mans eye cavity and cheek. The man stumbled backwards, the left side of his face completey unrecognisable.
"And lesson 2 was to make sure I didn't punch your fucking jaw loose for ya"
DOUBLE KRACK Mahogany swund hard at the mans jawbone, easily removing 40% of the mans lower face. The man fell to the ground, blood spurting from the gaping wound which was once his head.
Det Redwood pulled out his police issue revolver and demanded the felon lie down on the ground, the mexican gurgled through what was left of his throat leaving Redwood no choice about what to do next.
He aimed his gun at the mass of exposed brain and bone fragments:
"Yo: Schools Out Sucker"
said Big Red in slow motion, BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM, as the body lay twitching on the floor Det Mahogany placed a hand on Big Reds shoulder,
"If I were him I wouldn't know how to face another day... I mean, you could say he won't be showing his face around here for while..." he laughed
"So do I, Mahogany... So do I" nodded Redwood, looking up into the LA sunset as Billy Joel's 'born in the USA' fades in.
______________________________________END SCENE_______________________________________
................................................................PART 6.........................................................................
Special Sargeant Samuel L Jackson (played by Denzel Washington) sits at his desk as his two renegade cops approach to report in.
"How did you guys go with that fucking sting operation? I got city hall asking me why in hells name did I authorise a purchasing order for a 1970's Trans fucking Am!" yelled the special sargeant.
"Well uh, lets just say the guy we met today lost a bit of face" grinned Mahogany.
"Why you crazy son of a bitch, you mean literally don't you? You two white boys are on some other shit really... Now listen the governor of California is holding a party tonight where he will be showcasing the new key to the city, remember if the Master Locksmith gets his eyes on the key he will be able to replicate it from memory and sell it to fun,but mental terrorists, from what they say on Fox News at any rate" said the Special Sargeant gravely.
"But I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you two to turn in your guns and badges" said the Special Sargeant.
"What? Why? How Come" demanded Det Mahogany
The Special Sargeant laughed, "Because you two boneheads ain't cops no more..."
"BUT I GOTS NO PLACE ELSE TO GO" interrupted Redwood.
"...As I was saying you two ain't cops anymore, you're CIA, now that there's terrorists involved you boys got promoted to special CIA badges for 48 hours and all the powers they hold. Congratulations. Now get the hell outta my office before I lose a size 12 up your two narrow asses" with that the Special Saregant throw them out of his office...
"You know what this signifies Big Red?" said Det Mahogany, lighting a cigarette
"A completely unorthodox and nonsensical plotline in which we expect viewers to actually believe that this is a legitimate example of how two cops ascend through the local, statewide and federal levels of law enforcement and intelligence agencies?" drooled Det Redwood.
"No, the chief said that for 48hours we have all the powers available to the CIA - That includes 'Cruel and Unusual Punishment' Big Red. Cruel.... and.... Unusal" said Det Mahogany as the camera zooms slowly out.
____________________________________________________END SCENE________________________________________________
Final 3 scenes coming soon, your input is welcome and expected.
User Reviews
Submitted by hooch4 (user info) at 2008-01-28 20:30:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Part 1 was better but still pretty darn good.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-01-28 20:12:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-01-28 06:44:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This was bad enough the first time. And I know a thing or two about bad posts.
______
So does your mom, why don't you write a thing or two about her.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-01-28 13:33:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i thought this was funny.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-01-28 11:44:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
on good faith.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-28 07:15:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't read this, but my expert analysis says that you are bogarting gay cocks.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-01-28 06:44:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This was bad enough the first time. And I know a thing or two about bad posts.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-01-28 05:20:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-01-28 03:06:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-01-27 12:43:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
_____________
I will fucking crumple both of you
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-01-28 03:06:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-01-27 12:43:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2008-01-28 01:15:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i am lockelsy
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-01-27 20:27:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2008-01-27 18:03:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
pt 1 was better loxley
_______
You're better locksly
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2008-01-27 18:03:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
pt 1 was better loxley
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-01-27 17:58:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-01-27 15:11:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Bubba below
Submitted by jimboruckus (user info) at 2008-01-27 15:07:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-01-27 15:00:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2BUBBA
Sorry bro. New rating system.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-01-27 14:50:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Locksly, I'm waiting for part three. Fuck the naysayers,
I think this is done very well. Keep it up.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-01-27 14:45:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-01-27 13:56:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fight the good fight.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-01-27 13:53:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Why you crazy son of a bitch!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-01-27 13:30:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Needs more Vanilla Ice.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-01-27 12:43:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Zampano (user info) at 2008-01-27 12:28:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"BUT I GOTS NO PLACE ELSE TO GO" interrupted Redwood.
* ** *
That sealed Part II for me.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-01-27 12:07:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"looking up into the LA sunset as Billy Joel's 'born in the USA' fades in."
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Must be an alternate universe. . .