I'm lovin' it (629 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesLabels: story
Rating: 0.68 on 24 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by spacemonkey (View user info) at 2008-01-29 05:54:31 EST
"We can't keep this up."
I always wondered why my boss referred to me as "we".
"Your performance has been slipping for the past few months. Is there something wrong? Trouble at home?"
Yes there is something wrong. There is always something wrong. Welcome to the human condition.
"You can tell me, I'm not just your supervisor, I'm also your friend." His tone softened toward the end. I would have felt bad for him had I the capacity. At the moment I was too self absorbed. I was very in love with hating myself. Its one of my favorite pastimes.
"You know I was depressed once myself. I stayed in my room for nearly a month, sitting in the dark. Finally one day I said to myself, 'self,'" he actually paused to chuckle, "why do this? And you know what? I stopped."
I love being told to just snap out of it. I love the despair that it brings me.
"You need a vacation. Get away from it all. Stop drinking so much or drink more if you haven't been. I don't know, but shape up or ship out. I'm sending you home for the day."
I smiled weakly and said, "thanks..."
I was on my way out. I could feel myself slipping further and further into pointless irrelevance.
It started a few months ago when she left me. She was such a bright spot, but the doctors tell you that a spot in your vision could be scintillating scotoma, as may be caused by cortical spreading depression. My boss doesn't even know a rod from a cone and he makes about 55 grand more than me. I could have been a doctor if I didn't think I had every disease I learned about. Its a terrible thing to assume that any odd bump in your mouth is adenocarcinoma.
I love to hate that I am a secretary. I love my choice to be a hypochondriac. I love how miserable it makes me.
She left me because I wasn't any fun.
"We never do anything anymore. You never take me anywhere. I have to drag you out of bed to go to work, and when you get back you only want to sleep. I need something! Jesus..."
I tried to fake it for her. Tried to fake being fun. I'm a poor actor though.
After she left I continued to work, but I couldn't concentrate. I'd be late. I'd over sleep even though I slept for 14 hours a day. I guess it got noticeable. I love how much attention I get by acting like a sad little boy. I'm such a ham. So melodramatic. I love how much I hate it.
I can't work, I can't love and I can't live.
I have taken the service elevator, but for some reason it directed me to the top floor rather than the ground floor. I walk out into the sun.
I love the feeling of the wind in my hair. I love the rush from the speed I'm achieving.
I love waving goodbye to my boss as I pass him.
User Reviews
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2008-02-01 01:07:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
OR FORTY POUNDS OF HIGH PROCESSED MYSTERY MEAT AND AN OUNCE OF COKE.
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2008-02-01 00:40:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OR....BUY A WII!
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2008-02-01 00:39:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
TURN YOUR LIFE TO JESUS!
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-01-29 21:09:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Corn Nugget wants the rating up.
I'm happy to help.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-01-29 21:04:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It pisses me off that the rating on this is so low.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-01-29 20:32:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2MCCALLUM
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-01-29 17:53:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-01-29 17:46:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-01-29 13:40:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Iwanttoliveonabus (user info) at 2008-01-29 12:31:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes! This is what uber is for. Love the picture.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-01-29 11:05:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Why does this have a minus rating? It was going to be +1, but the last line clinched it.
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-01-29 11:04:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2008-01-29 10:16:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good job, ninja.
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2008-01-29 09:01:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-01-29 08:51:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"um this is supposed to be a commentary on the misconceptions of depression and mental illness in general. Its fiction."
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You're not fooling anyone you know.
Submitted by spacemonkey (user info) at 2008-01-29 08:21:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
um this is supposed to be a commentary on the misconceptions of depression and mental illness in general. Its fiction. The thing is a lot of people tell you to just be happy when that isn't a realistic solution. it creates a sense that its "all my fault" or "im doing this to myself and bringing others down". sometimes there is no real solution and no one can deal with you. what can you do if medication doesn't help(which is true all too often) and you can't even function in society anymore?
in short you kill yourself.
Also don't give me shit for the 9/11 photo. like berty just pointed out, its already been exploited to death by corporate advertising and politicians. when you get down to it, it was the first image in a google search for "falling", and thats why i picked it. if you don't like it call the PC police. i dont give a shit.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-01-29 08:11:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-29 07:36:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What would be a graceful use of that picture?
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As part of a marshmellow manufacturing company's sales presentation to a city council for super soft sidewalks?
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-29 07:36:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What would be a graceful use of that picture?
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2008-01-29 07:28:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
disgraceful use of that picture.
Submitted by PukingDog (user info) at 2008-01-29 06:59:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
PROZAC
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-01-29 06:25:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
A business isn't a charity and it's very wrong to be a burden on people. Have you considered getting a job that's easier untill you feel better? Downsizing and all that. You could work as a security gaurd: plenty of oppurtunities to sit and brood, isolation and maybe even the oppurtunity to suicide via armed robber.
Perhaps you should take a trip somewhere and find a woman to screw yourself happy.
It's either that or embrace stoicism and humility. I wouldn't reccomend that for a young person though, it's hard.
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-01-29 06:02:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2008-01-29 06:00:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
sk8itoff
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-01-29 05:57:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Do you know the story associated with that image?
Apparantly it was meant to be a waiter from the towers, but his family is fundamental Christians so they didn't beleive their dad would have jumped, so when he was identified they went all fundamental Christian crazy and denied it was a waiter uniform