Who wants to have a threesome with me? (NSFW) (3329 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: -0.22 on 94 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by netimportant (View user info) at 2008-02-01 01:57:36 EST
Here are the rules. You must be:
1) sexy
2) clean
Please mail your pictures to netimportant.at.yahoo.com with a 200 word essay on why you are the best candidate for a night of hot, steamy action with me and another lucky contestant. Winners will be asked to supply their own lube, massage oils, bondage materials and candles for wax-dripping like a Ricky Martin video.
Shlongies and Simons need not apply.
threesome2.jpg (54 kB) [image/jpeg]
User Reviews
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2008-02-27 13:10:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I was actually referring to netimportant...
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-02-27 12:21:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I am a lowly nOOb, FTW, even I knew that. (Just getting my name at least 5 times on every post)
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2008-02-27 12:00:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wait, are you Lisa?
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2008-02-04 15:38:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
so uh when is this shindig going down?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-02-04 10:40:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What'd you think of MY entry?
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2008-02-04 01:50:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm gonna BE President, bitch!
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-02-04 01:35:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2008-02-01 21:52:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Go away, my cutoff is 35.
---------
You'll never pork a President with that attitude, missy.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-02-04 01:04:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2008-02-02 04:55:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That's cool, I've got tons of emails in my inbox now from hot Internet boys
---
"hot internet boys" = 48-57 yo divorced men, just so you know.
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2008-02-03 01:49:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If you want me to keep yours a secret, I will. Oops!
How to pick up chicks:
http://www.vsocial.com/video/?d=59670
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2008-02-02 23:48:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You *will* uber-post any and all replies that you get, right?
Submitted by HandZon (user info) at 2008-02-02 21:34:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm there if you promise me some frozen blood sausage, an at home cervical scrape, my knee on the small of your back, and a signed non-disclosure statement.
Oh yeah, I'm sexy AND clean (in that order)
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2008-02-02 20:07:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Needs more rough ass sex and midgets.
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2008-02-02 16:41:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-02-02 05:36:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I am above petitioning for sex, but you can bring a hot friend and make this happen. i dont play pig on a spit OR eiffel tower.
DEAL!
Kracka you can come too, of course. Once you go Kracka you never go backa.
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2008-02-02 06:13:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
do i seriously need to apply for this?
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-02-02 05:36:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I am above petitioning for sex, but you can bring a hot friend and make this happen. i dont play pig on a spit OR eiffel tower.
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2008-02-02 04:55:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That's cool, I've got tons of emails in my inbox now from hot Internet boys who want a slice, and there's only room for one swizzle stick in this girl's highball. At a time, that is.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-02-02 04:33:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ha! how about out of state? the cutoff is 35?
I've got six more years to live I suppose. If I had a ten foot pole to reach you with, and I could actually position myself in a place where I could reach you with said ten foot pole, I wouldn't.
Jut so you know.
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-02-02 04:20:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2008-02-01 17:01:07 PST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-02-01 10:31:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
have you noticed in threesome pix/flixs one person always gets more servicing?
in this picture the one girl gets the cock and the licking, the blonde seems to be just working.
---------------------
Hey, YOU try to eat pussy while you're getting licked! I hate 69'ing; it's physically impossible to give someone a good head job when you're concentrating on your own orgasm.
-----------
WRONG WRONG WRONG! YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-02-01 22:13:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Back of the line, Pal. You're killing my "rap".
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2008-02-01 22:06:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Why do I get no love? I'm younger than Shlongy...I've had sex before...I'm sweet looking...and I'm willing to overlook you fucking nutiness. What's up, cueball??
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-02-01 21:59:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Pictures don't do me justice- I look 34 in "real life". I SWEAR.
I wouldn't lie to you...we're too good of friends.
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2008-02-01 21:53:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Except for my good pal J.D.
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2008-02-01 21:52:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Go away, my cutoff is 35.
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2008-02-01 21:51:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
How about some more love and attention from someone with bladder control? Who wants to sex me up real good?
I'm naked under my clothes.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-02-01 21:51:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Lisa- I don't wanna have to be the one that ruins your fantasy but if you ever met me, you would be seeing those little hearts orbiting that crazy, semi-misshapen head of yours.
Ask any Uber broad who has met Shlongy.
I can't help it. I have this charm that is hard to describe.
And if it'll help, we'll just leave the lights down low.
SMOOCHES.
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2008-02-01 21:45:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm pretty much aching for it lately but I still wouldn't even look at your sagging naked body.
I just made myself ill.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-02-01 21:40:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I feel pretty bad for Lisa right about now. She has a vagina and EVERYTHING and 91.7% of Uber hates Shlongy and my post will still have a higher rating than hers.
That's when you KNOW things are going badly.
OK...I'll cheer you up by massaging your taint. Not a prob.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2008-02-01 21:28:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-02-01 12:27:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2008-02-01 11:13:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry. I'm impotent from a horrific syphilis case and my penis is rotting away into my hairy gooch.
I hear that kaos king was interested though.
_____________________________
Behave, or I won't vote for you for President in about 20 years...
--------
:D
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-02-01 21:23:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i like Marietta, GA. i had to go to the hospital there for a really bad flu virus and everyone was so damn nice to me. the bill was like a thousand bucks, though! fuckin' assholes!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-02-01 21:15:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
OH MAN, SO CLOSE.
:(
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-02-01 21:10:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
PS.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/114732
Love, Shlongy
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-02-01 21:02:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Marietta, GA?
Shlongy isn't that far away and I GUARANTEE the best 8 minutes of your life.
And from what I've read about your life, it would be well worth your time.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2008-02-01 20:52:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
so...a picture seals the deal? Seeems kind of desperate.
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2008-02-01 20:48:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm sorry, you must send a picture in order to apply for a threesome.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2008-02-01 20:43:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Seriously...lets fuck.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2008-02-01 20:14:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm in. But I'm way to hot to submit an essay.
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2008-02-01 20:10:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
HIDDEN HAS STOLEN MY POTENTIAL LOVERS
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2008-02-01 20:01:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-02-01 10:31:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
have you noticed in threesome pix/flixs one person always gets more servicing?
in this picture the one girl gets the cock and the licking, the blonde seems to be just working.
---------------------
Hey, YOU try to eat pussy while you're getting licked! I hate 69'ing; it's physically impossible to give someone a good head job when you're concentrating on your own orgasm.
Submitted by BritishBeef (user info) at 2008-02-01 15:38:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2008-02-01 15:20:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2008-02-01 04:04:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
its like britney but with less money
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-02-01 15:15:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Rules?
RULES ?!!
I don't follow no fuck'n rules!
Any Pro would know that.
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2008-02-01 14:50:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Dear AJ, I hope my hitting on you relentlessly last night doesn't interfere with our lovely friendship. Sincerely, Lisa.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-02-01 14:45:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Is there a reason everyone is gay? Hmm?
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2008-02-01 14:44:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't. I have work stuff the next two weekends. And my car is still in the body shop. =(
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-02-01 14:41:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Aj, want to come over next weekend? Leave after work friday, get home late sunday??
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2008-02-01 14:39:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Should I click that picture at work?
Sorry I didn't call. I was pretty plowed last night. I did stand-up again, so we started in early. I don't usually get that way. My concept of time was thrown off, and before I knew it, it was 4 AM, there were two women I didn't know in our house, the dog was still being an asshole, and I headed to bed. 8 AM came far too soon today.
=(
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-02-01 14:34:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Lisa, that's not acceptable. Aj will have sex with you if you come. He won't be here, though.
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2008-02-01 14:31:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ladies and gentleman, I was very disappointed this morning to find zero requests in my mailbox for the night of your fucking life.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-02-01 13:38:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
do i get a waiver on the essay?
Yes, I will make an exception for people who have already done it with me (which is like half of you, right?) and really hot guys.
Corinne, I don't know if I can come up next weekend, I had plans to drive down to Marietta and party with my cousin. Plus I'm poor so if I'm going to take a road trip, there better be sex involved. And since you don't want to have a lesbian encounter with me and AJ forgot to call yesterday to make sexy time on the phone, I am forced to refuse your offer.
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-02-01 13:44:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-02-01 10:12:24 PST (#)
Ranking: 0
**********CT BARES HIS CHEST!**************
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-07 19:47:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
1. S.I. Co. Semen
2. Method
3. Jewtoast
4. CabaretGirl
5. Lungish
6. I BET HE HAS THE CHEST OF A SPARROW - THE BARON
7. Orphelia
8. Drogoroch
9. HurtByTheSun
10. Anansie
11. dithered
12. TheDoctor
13. scourge
14. FlakMonkey
15. BeforeEmily
16. Brdn_Nkd
17. Iacobus
18. Lechuza
19. OathMeal
20. TheUniter
21. Wild (I'll fuck you like a dog) man
22. Keanu Reeves
23. Flying_Buttmonkey
24. Leonore
25. Assholy
-----------
IF YOUR NAME ISN'T ON THIS LIST, ADD IT!
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-02-01 13:38:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
do i get a waiver on the essay?
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2008-02-01 12:55:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I am tempted...
but not that tempted.
Mainly because I don't want to write an essay.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-02-01 12:27:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2008-02-01 11:13:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry. I'm impotent from a horrific syphilis case and my penis is rotting away into my hairy gooch.
I hear that kaos king was interested though.
_____________________________
Behave, or I won't vote for you for President in about 20 years...
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-02-01 12:24:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Um, not for a 3some. Just to hang out.
It's a 2 hour drive.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-02-01 12:20:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Come up here next weekend.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2008-02-01 11:19:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Um...
...
Nope. Not touchin' this one.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2008-02-01 11:13:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry. I'm impotent from a horrific syphilis case and my penis is rotting away into my hairy gooch.
I hear that kaos king was interested though.
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-02-01 10:42:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-02-01 10:36:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Could this be the best day of my life?
-- Homer Simpson
Homer the Heretic
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-02-01 10:31:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
have you noticed in threesome pix/flixs one person always gets more servicing?
in this picture the one girl gets the cock and the licking, the blonde seems to be just working. it is possible that the blond gets some reciprocal diddiling in the next picture, but we dont know for sure.
pay attention the next three-way porn you look at, you'll see what I mean.
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2008-02-01 09:50:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
There's no way responding to this post could possibly have any negative consequences, I'll email you presently for what I'm sure will the be the freakiest, most disease free, passionate love-making experience of my life.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-02-01 09:49:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
PLEASE POST YOUR MEDICAL CLEARANCE PAPERS FOR CONSIDERATION
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2008-02-01 09:39:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Only if it's you, me, and a chloroformed rag.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-02-01 09:30:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Not really, sorry. Nothing personal but I find it hard enough coping with the demands of my Blow up Girlie, My own Right Hand and Next doors goat. I just dont have the strength anymore.
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2008-02-01 08:49:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
alter.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-02-01 08:34:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-02-01 09:28:25 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-02-01 09:05:57 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
i cant believe you havent had a threesome already.
------------------
that is pretty insultive.
-----------------
how? she wants one! Silly moo.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-02-01 07:52:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sometimes I like to say nasty things and pile on to a bad situation because that sort of thing amuses me.
This is one of those times I just sit back, shake my head sadly, and wonder if you realize just how much help you need.
Submitted by EkO (user info) at 2008-02-01 07:34:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-02-01 07:25:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
But Shlongy is A-List!
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-02-01 07:04:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hitwhoring gone wrong.
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2008-02-01 06:26:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No thanks, Appreciate the offer though.
You are a stickwoman, I never been big on stickwomen.
Too bony.
Good luck though
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2008-02-01 05:02:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That guy has a nice package. Mmmm...I want to lick it.
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2008-02-01 04:49:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
THIS IS JGREENING
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-02-01 04:28:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-02-01 09:05:57 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
i cant believe you havent had a threesome already.
------------------
that is pretty insultive.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-02-01 04:26:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
im quite sexy but incredibly filthy
guess that leaves me out
damn!
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-02-01 04:26:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-02-01 04:22:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
nah
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2008-02-01 04:17:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
would there be viagra?
come to think of it I'm flat out even having a onesome...sorry I can't come. I mean make it.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2008-02-01 04:12:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
why?
have you, nerd?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-02-01 04:05:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i cant believe you havent had a threesome already.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2008-02-01 04:04:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
its like britney but with less money
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-02-01 03:43:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Surely if I were involved, it would be a foursome, or at the very least a three and a bit some.
Dammit, that whore is wearing blue eyeshadow!!
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-02-01 03:43:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2008-02-01 03:27:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fine i'll admit that was a horrible joke
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-02-01 02:58:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
My guess???
Lisa's consumed 2 Long Island's, 1 Apple Martini and (maybe) 2 shots of Tequila...
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2008-02-01 02:58:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
BART WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY PICTURE? THIS IS ART
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2008-02-01 02:41:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
sex is ovarated
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2008-02-01 02:31:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Big-dicked motherfuckers please do apply.
When I'm drunk I like to flip my head around and make myself dizzy. You ever do that?
I hope AJ calls soon because I'm only going to be naked and horny for so long.
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-02-01 02:28:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Shlongies need not apply.
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2008-02-01 02:13:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
lmao
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-02-01 02:11:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
A-listers only!
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2008-02-01 02:10:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That's it, UBERCON: Kinky is taking place on February 15-17 in Chicago. I hope to see the sexiest of you there!
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-02-01 02:03:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You are so hammered, my good woman.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2008-02-01 02:01:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I wonder where you go for a sack and crack wax.
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2008-02-01 01:59:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
this is the most hilarious thing in the WORLD