A Stupid Story (622 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.39 on 31 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by JustAnotherStudent (View user info) at 2008-02-02 12:26:32 EST
Night In Wonderland
or
Why Nashville Sucks Hardcore
Nashville. Country Music USA. Home of the Country Music Hall of Fame, the Ryman Auditorium, Grand Ole Opry, and of course, the Opryland Hotel.
For those of you who haven't visited Nashville yet- be sure to pass on that.
I don't live in Nashville, rather, I live one county to the south. I'm from the suburbs, and at the time, it was my freshman year of high school. And I had a great idea- one of my favorite bands was having a concert downtown, why don't I take my best friends? It was my fucked up idea of a Christmas present for the four of us- go to a concert, sans adults, in downtown Nashville.
Tickets for the Lit show only cost 5 bucks, since I bought them through a radio promotion. The only adult presence for us would be my mother driving us to and from the show.
She didn't care. It got me out of the house for one night.
I rounded up three of my best friends on the planet: Sharon, Hannah, and Laura. Sharon, the bitchy girl, has been my friend since the third grade. Hannah, since the first grade, and her best friend, Laura, had only been my friend for a couple years.
We already had history. Laura stole my boyfriend. While I still groaned occasionally over this event, she and I were mostly over it. Trying to be friends, despite the bad blood.
These were the three people I chose to go with me to what was going to be an awesome concert. Three very funny people, who could often click together in ways that made the entire world more funny by the minute.
Fuck radio advertising, fuck the 428 Performance Hall, and fuck Lit.
We weren't let into the door of the concert.
That's right. I had gone through this careful planning, negotiation, and final ticket purchasing, all to be told that I could not go in.
The show was for only the 18 and older set.
I am the oldest of the four girls, and was only 15. And the asshole bouncer could only say "Well, they said it in the newspaper." What the fuck. Very few 15 year olds read the newspaper, you twat.
Thanks to my delightful attitude, I flipped the guy off, kicked through the crowd, and went outside. After unsuccessfully trying to scalp the tickets, Laura bought them from me, just to get me to shut the fuck up. I punched the building a couple times because, well, I am a bit of a drama queen at times.
We decided to walk around.
That's right, four girls in their young teens, walking around downtown at night.
********************************************************************************************
As it has been almost five years since this took place, I may get the chronology of this night wrong, but rest assured, every word is truth. This shit is too screwed up for even my fertile imagination to have come up with.
At first, we decided it would be a good idea to go find food. We knew that Broadway and Second Avenue are the two major hotspots downtown, and figured if we walked that way, we'd eventually find munchies.
We walked down 4th Avenue to Broadway, and headed off towards Second. Of course we passed the usual spots of Nashville Pride- honkey tonk bars, clubs, and homeless guys playing the guitar on the sidewalk. We eventually found a Sbarros, and sat down for some food.
I wont go into a lot of detail about what happened there- let's just say I came face to face with a guy who had raped me on the beach just two years before. Fucker was working behind the counter.
So we left, and got the bright idea to locate what I have dubbed the Sex Fiend Alley. The rumored Mecca of sexual obsession. An alley located off of Church Street (HA!) full of strip joints. We were young, silly, and more than anxious to get a glimpse of what adults were always trying to hide.
We just had no idea how to get there, so we started walking down 2nd Avenue. It was here that we had our first homeless-guy conversation of the night. We were standing outside of what I believe was Graham Central Station when a very old guy came up to us. He asked us for spare change, and we gave him the random coins we had. Then he started to lecture us about drugs and alcohol. We finally got away, and before we had finished out the block, we had our second homeless-guy conversation. Well, we think he was homeless. He tried to hit on us, asking us to go back to his car. He was obviously inebriated. The scary kind of inebriated.
So the four of us started to walk quickly away, and in his drunken state, he couldn't keep up. We turned a corner, and hid. He turned the opposite way at the corner, and started dancing his way up the street, arms held high.
Great that so soon after a lecture about drugs and alcohol, we see someone who was quite likely doing drugs and drinking alcohol, singing his way up a street in the middle of the night.
We resumed our search. We figured we were going the wrong way, as we had yet to find Church Street. Since we were all from Rutherford County, we were unfamiliar with downtown Nashville, and well on our way to being lost.
So we wandered aimlessly back down 2nd, and here I reached my closure with Laura. It started with Sharon being nosy. She asked a question that we were all dying to ask.
"So, how was sex with Eric?"
Eric. The Ex.
For a moment I thought Laura was going to go ballistic. She is not the calmest person on the planet. But I was not expecting her response.
She covered her face, and I thought for a moment she would cry over her recent breakup with the dolt. Her hands started to shake.
"It was horrible."
Simple words cannot convey. Her tone was that of baffled disbelief, and she was giggling. It was kind of like that intense moment of relief when you finally say something that has been eating at you. Delivered on a giggle, it was the most classic moment of the night. To this day, we tease her about it.
We all laughed, but I laughed the most. At least the guy who ran off on me was horrible in bed- that made the pill a lot easier to swallow. Never mind that a few years later, I would run off on him to date HIS best friend. Karma's a bitch.
But back to that night.
Some point during our wandering about town, we found Church Street. After a good amount of time deciding what direction to go in, we took off.
We reached it.
We finally reached Sex Fiend Alley.
It was all we could have imagined, and more. As far as we could see, flashing neon lights, shitty country music, and signs saying "Must be 21 and over to enter." Sure, we couldn't go in. But standing outside was enough. You could see all the degenerates you wanted. The very badly dressed hooker, leaning against a wall smoking a cig and scouting. The old guy, missing half of his teeth, stumbling out of the bar. He paused to give the hooker the eye, then stumbled on. A younger guy, probably through a bad fake ID, arguing with a bouncer at the doorway of a club.
We had barely had time to soak in the thrill, when Hannah whined, as she had for the last 20 minutes, that she had to pee.
We had already hit up every open place in sight, but each had said no. But at the entrance to the alley, was a sushi restaurant.
A sushi restaurant. In downtown Nashville, Tennessee. Before Sushi hit it popular outside of Los Angeles.
This is where we got to experience the true Nashville scene.
Old Asian guy working at the counter, check. Rusty metal everywhere, check. Bad lighting, check. Creepy old guy sitting at a table, check.
Front for a brothel, check.
No way in hell anyone was eating the food that was on display.
But Stacy, I hear you cry: how on earth did you know it was a brothel? My first clue was the flow of slutty women and shifty-eyed guys walking through the "restaurant." That and the fact that there is no way anyone in Nashville would eat sushi, especially sushi that smelled that bad. Even in a restaurant that could have never passed a health inspection without tons of money being handed over.
The old dude waved Hannah to the back, while the rest of us huddled in a protective knot near the door. Sorry Hannah, you're on your own.
We got the hell out as soon as she got back. Since it was nearing time to hook up with my mom to drive us home, we started retracing our steps to the performance hall. When we got there, the concert was still going. And it was loud enough to blast through the walls, and we could hear it perfectly. So we sat down on the sidewalk across the street, waiting.
I don't know when the hell they walked up. An entire group of hot, probably college-aged
guys wandered up to us and sat down. We started talking. Don't remember what the hell we talked about, all I knew was that the one with the red hat was extra hot. We were really getting into conversation, the group of us, when my mom drove up. In our crappy car, my mom came up to pick up her teenage daughter and her friends.
Ouch.
User Reviews
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-02-25 00:47:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-02-03 09:22:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
The title did not lie.
================
Sagacity from the elderly.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-02-05 10:25:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by JustAnotherStudent (user info) at 2008-02-03 08:19:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Woohoo, finally someone said I was an alter! I'm not, but I was waiting for someone to accuse the new person of being an alter.
And no, I don't live in Tennessee anymore. The place is poison- I escaped as soon as I could.
Next time I'll fictionalize the story and add in a midget.
------------
yes, definitely is missing a midget here.
15 year old grrls out on the town.
wake me up when its over...
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2008-02-05 10:05:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
>>That kinda explained it all for me. Fucking mallrats.
---------
Ewww "Fucking mallrats" - that's like kiddy pron or something.
Submitted by loopdeloo (user info) at 2008-02-05 09:42:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
*idea :)
Submitted by loopdeloo (user info) at 2008-02-05 09:25:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
If you were raped at thirteen can you please explain to me exactly what thought process transpired for you to come to the conclusion that wandering around a city at night was a good fucking ides?
Shenanigans!
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-02-04 10:04:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
um.... thanks for sharin sharon? show us your hole
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2008-02-03 12:53:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"The only adult presence for us would be my mother driving us to and from the show".
________________________________________________________________________________________
That kinda explained it all for me. Fucking mallrats.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-02-03 09:22:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
The title did not lie.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-02-03 08:40:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I think you have mistaken Uber for someone who gives a fuck. Alter.
Hahahaha
Submitted by JustAnotherStudent (user info) at 2008-02-03 08:19:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Woohoo, finally someone said I was an alter! I'm not, but I was waiting for someone to accuse the new person of being an alter.
And no, I don't live in Tennessee anymore. The place is poison- I escaped as soon as I could.
Next time I'll fictionalize the story and add in a midget.
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2008-02-03 04:59:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
stupid/boring/blaaah
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-02-03 01:03:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Read it earlier. Didn't rate. Don't know why I'm telling you this. Should've been better, I guess.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-02-03 00:01:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2008-02-02 20:46:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This would have been better if you had executed a better climax. I was expecting you to get dryhumped by a midget without teeth, or for you all to break down and have sweet teeny-bopper lesbian sex. Neither occured, so you've earned yourself a +1 for the generally good writing.
_____
Would have been better if it wasn't a fucking alter. A really bad one at that
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2008-02-02 20:46:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This would have been better if you had executed a better climax. I was expecting you to get dryhumped by a midget without teeth, or for you all to break down and have sweet teeny-bopper lesbian sex. Neither occured, so you've earned yourself a +1 for the generally good writing.
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2008-02-02 19:53:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
meh
Submitted by Wompom (user info) at 2008-02-02 16:54:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought it was a decent read.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2008-02-02 16:05:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And then?
Do you still live in Tennessee? Cuz you're the only ten I see. Har har har har har.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2008-02-02 15:40:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
a real attention whore would have posted boobs.
I know attention whores... and you young missy are not one...or at least not a very good one.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2008-02-02 15:37:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you know who else didn't have aspirations? the nazis. and that's why they lost the war.
don't be a nazi.
Submitted by JustAnotherStudent (user info) at 2008-02-02 15:20:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, the title should have tipped you off that this story would be stupid.
Bubba- this is all true, which is probably why it's so uninteresting to people.
I was just bored as hell when I wrote this,no editing, and posted it because I'm an attention whore. Don't worry, I have no real aspirations of being a writer.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2008-02-02 15:00:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i mean, i'm not saying you can't type on a keyboard, because clearly all evidence shows you can. what remains to be determined is your motive, and to what end you will go in order to mitigate some notion of success. i would liken this to the koala bear and it's mating practices. i mean, do we really need more koala bears? no, but for whatever reason it continues to rump along, humping and jumping, producing more goddamned koala bears that are only good for two things: eating and sleeping. which reminds me of my second wife.
bazing.
if i could offer up a suggestion, and i will, because i can, it would be this: instead of letting your fists punch the keyboard aimlessly, try drinking a litre of captain morgan, fuck a hooker, and then eat all the dishwasher soap under your sink. i guarantee you it'll be the most fun you can't remember, and you'll write better than john grisham.
Submitted by Green_Ranger (user info) at 2008-02-02 15:00:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-02-02 14:41:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, this pretty much sums up why I don't want to have children.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2008-02-02 14:33:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
yeah, a stupid story indeed.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-02-02 14:27:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You were 15 when this happened. You met the guy who raped you when you were 13, and did nothing. Right. Bullshit.
"The old guy, missing half of his teeth, stumbling out of the bar."
Nope, I have never been to Nashville.
Stop trying to palm off fiction as reality.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-02-02 13:23:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
haha scourge
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-02-02 13:17:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I can imagine you telling this story in just this way were we face to face.
I can also imagine me wondering the whole time you recounted this mundane bullshit 'why oh why we aren't allowed to choke empty headed morons for acting like, well, empty headed morons?'
Then I'd say something meaningless about how that must have been an experience that truly galvanized your soul. The sarcasm would fly right over your head. I'd get antsy trying to think of some excuse to flee you presence...
It would probably just get worse from there.
Thanks for sharing, though.
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-02-02 13:08:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow. It sounds like Nashville sucks almost as bad as this post. However, I've been to Nashville, and I can attest that it doesn't really suck anywhere NEAR as bad as this post.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-02-02 12:52:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This was a pointless waste of my time. About halfway through, I felt it might have got interesting, but it didn't.
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-02-02 12:39:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2008-02-02 12:31:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Work on your story telling skills.
This story didn't have much of a point or even anything really all that interesting about it.