Secret to a happy life (723 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.1 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Paul Hibbert (View user info) at 2008-02-02 23:34:29 EST
Ever wake up on a Saturday feeling like you've eaten a cactus and spent your evening licking a cat but somehow despite not having pulled feeling absolutely amazing?
Besides, the cat wanted me.
This is the second weekend in a row that I should have woken up wishing I was dead but yet here I am grinning like a fucking idiot. I'm sure it's not healthy but I fully intend to continue this nasty ass habit of drinking myself stupid and dancing with a different set of mates every night. Damn I'm popular and attractive... tell me I'm wrong, I'l tell you you're an idiot.
You know what I love? Reel big fucking Fish baby! I'm not ever growing out of that phase and I don't even care. Why do people listen to miserable music when life is so good!?! You wanna listen to something that furthers your bad mood then go ahead, but I'm here to tell you, you don't have to. Life is about smiling, I don't care how overly optomistic that is, it's so much better this way and the sun is shining, and if you're reading this going "No it's not Paul you silly bell end" then remember it will be soon enough.
Is the planet falling to pieces? My advice is don't watch the news, I sure don't. Blissful ignorance of every terrible thing that is almost certainly happening around me is the key to a happy life, that way you can just deal with your own fucking problems the way god intended. Selfish? maybe, but why not eh? What do you owe the world?
...That's what I thought.
Is this a compelling argument or the ramblings of a drunken mid twenties arse? You know what, don't answer that. Whatever my current personal circumstances I can always walk away from absolutley all of this and so can you. If Derby blew up right now I could just walk to Nottingham and start again, that's what my legs are for.
Cold? Put a jacket on. Bored? Go outside.... Even colder? Stop being a pussy.
I sent a text last weekend that no 26 year old man should send. I sent it to everyone that matters to me (those that were in my phone anyway). It took a while but I told everyone just how great I feel as a consequence of having them in my life. That felt great and I recommend it. A lot of people texted me back to tell me what a great big gay I am, they're just not comfortable with their sexuality of course and I love them all the more for it. A lot texted back to further my good mood.
Last weekend I was completely euphoric for what I thought was no real reason, then I realised I've got every reason. My mates have been there for me through every stage of my life, and they still are. I'm young and I make mistakes constantly, but what does it matter as long as I have my friends and a positive attitude?... And Reel big fish of course.
Right, that'll do. Enjoy the rest of your collective weekends. I'll see you down First Floor later if you've got any sense. Someone once said "Dance like no one's watching" What an idiot. Dance like everyone is watching, and lap it up.
-Paul
User Reviews
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2008-02-06 08:22:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by loopdeloo (user info) at 2008-02-04 15:53:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shit, sorry!
Submitted by loopdeloo (user info) at 2008-02-04 15:53:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
+2 for this review, not the post.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2008-02-02 23:41:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
some guy also once said "punk's not dead, she's just gone to bed." He was a dumbarse too, because punk girls sleep on vomit. duh.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-02-04 10:42:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i don't even really fucking care. about any of it. not sure why I feel this way this morning I just do. re the dead hooker.... waste not want not. try a red wine reduction with an herb butter, slow roast the fleshier bits and turn the rest into jerky except the back straps of course, those should definitely be prepared like steaks.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-04 05:25:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I draw comfort from the fact that everyone's life is terrible.
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2008-02-03 14:38:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck ska.
Submitted by jimboruckus (user info) at 2008-02-03 14:08:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-02-03 05:26:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
the girl i was with tonight wouldn't let me punch the guy that was pissing me off at the bar, so i'm taking it out on you because i'm still mad.
go fuck yourself.
''
ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh!!
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2008-02-03 13:57:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-02-03 13:00:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you put the bi in bi-polar, fag.
Submitted by Chief (user info) at 2008-02-03 08:36:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Too bad more people didnt think like that.
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-02-03 07:52:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-02-03 01:53:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2008-02-03 04:51:11 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
this morning i woke up next to a hooker. she was dead, of course.
anybody got any ideas?
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Ebay?
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BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-02-03 05:45:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-02-03 05:26:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
the girl i was with tonight wouldn't let me punch the guy that was pissing me off at the bar, so i'm taking it out on you because i'm still mad.
go fuck yourself.
----------------------------------------
Hahaha.
You think you got it bad!? I got duped by the old "I'm a single barmaid" trick last night and I'm 26! I even bought her a drink and I'm a pretty street smart guy. How the fuck did that happen.
I suppose I should be proud I convinced the owner to let me stay after hours to fail to seduce her after he'd thrown everyone else out.
The guy that says Reel Big Fish are negative, yeah... I can hear the lyrics but who's listening to the lyrics when you're dancing in a club, or your living room for that matter? Most of the lyrics are something I can relate to whether I'm in a good mood or not. Those of you who think they're past it are entitled to my opinion. Henceforth, shut up.
The guy that said this post was boring. Did you find a more interesting post at 3am on a Sunday? Hope you did brother.
-Paul
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-02-03 05:26:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
the girl i was with tonight wouldn't let me punch the guy that was pissing me off at the bar, so i'm taking it out on you because i'm still mad.
go fuck yourself.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-02-03 05:24:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i pull whenever i want to. and i saw Reel Big Fish in the late 90's and they were on their way out then. they aren't exactly one of those bands that you'd call "timeless".
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2008-02-03 03:48:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm glad you are happy. But I'm not glad to have read your boring post. BUT I AM GLAD U R HAPPY.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-02-03 02:54:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You made global warming cry...
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-02-03 01:53:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2008-02-03 04:51:11 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
this morning i woke up next to a hooker. she was dead, of course.
anybody got any ideas?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ebay?
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-02-03 00:16:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2008-02-02 23:51:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this morning i woke up next to a hooker. she was dead, of course.
anybody got any ideas?
^^^^^^^^^^
the statute of limitations prevents me from giving you any useful advice
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2008-02-03 00:02:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i'd have to argue with you about how posative reel big fish is
might be happy upbeat music
but the lyrics are usualy horrible depressing
or so thats how i remember it being
ska was along time ago
Submitted by Glenn. (user info) at 2008-02-02 23:58:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You're absolutely right. On that note, I think I'll have myself a beer.
And re: depressing music - sometimes nothing makes me happier than to remember something sad, painful or irritating, to listen to something (my favourite mediums are music and standup comedy, but i mean in general any art/expresison) that deals with that and then walk away with equal weighting on the following two points:
'Whatever inspired that was a lot worse than what I think is bothering me. On the scale of how important things are in life... oh fuck me, my problems aren't even on there.'
and also
'Isn't it nice that those horrible feelings can be condensed into and dealt with in the space of a song? Sure am glad it's not the kind of suffering that lasts forever and cannot be articulated.'
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-02-02 23:57:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2008-02-02 23:51:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this morning i woke up next to a hooker. she was dead, of course.
anybody got any ideas?
_____
Tell them I did it, that gets me up to an even dozen.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2008-02-02 23:51:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this morning i woke up next to a hooker. she was dead, of course.
anybody got any ideas?
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2008-02-02 23:41:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
some guy also once said "punk's not dead, she's just gone to bed." He was a dumbarse too, because punk girls sleep on vomit. duh.