Help me select a punishment (950 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.16 on 45 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by SoxSexSax (View user info) at 2008-02-04 09:13:00 EST
Imagine for a moment that you are a computer programmer at a large holiday park company. Imagine what you would do if one of your users decided, for some reason as yet unknown, that they would run a batch script of 2,043 bookings on your live database twice in a row? So we now have 2043 duplicate bookings on the system?
Should I break both of her legs, or just shoot her in the head? Suggestions?
User Reviews
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-06 06:48:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
So wait, we ALL use AS400 systems?
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2008-02-06 06:08:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ok you can remain un wasted for now :P
Well at least i'm not alone in as400 hell
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2008-02-06 05:47:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This was a -1 post until I saw this:
I work with the AS400. Stop complaining.
--------------
I thought I was the only one = (
--------------
So this is what it's like when doves cry?
*we touch palms meaningfully*
--- The AS400 made me smile...
And as a suggestion, why don't you get her to man the Prize Bingo for a while. That always sucks big balls.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-06 05:45:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Falafel (user info) at 2008-02-05 21:19:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-02-05 20:58:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Falafel (user info) at 2008-02-04 20:25:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I work with the AS400. Stop complaining.
--------------
I thought I was the only one = (
--------------
So this is what it's like when doves cry?
*we touch palms meaningfully*
--------------
How about that, I guess it's a small world afterall.
Submitted by PhillipTheGreat (user info) at 2008-02-06 02:51:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
01000010 01100101 01100001 01110100 00100000 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01100001 01110011 01110011 00100000 01100100 01101111 01110111 01101110 00100000 01110111 01101001 01110100 01101000 00100000 01100001 00100000 01110011 01110111 01101111 01110010 01100100 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 01101110 00100000 01110010 01100001 01110000 01100101 00100000 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01100010 01110101 01110100 01110100 01101000 01101111 01101100 01100101 00101110 00100000
Submitted by Falafel (user info) at 2008-02-05 21:19:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-02-05 20:58:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Falafel (user info) at 2008-02-04 20:25:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I work with the AS400. Stop complaining.
--------------
I thought I was the only one = (
--------------
So this is what it's like when doves cry?
*we touch palms meaningfully*
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-02-05 20:58:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Falafel (user info) at 2008-02-04 20:25:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I work with the AS400. Stop complaining.
--------------
I thought I was the only one = (
Submitted by Falafel (user info) at 2008-02-05 19:57:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2008-02-05 10:46:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Falafel (user info) at 2008-02-04 20:25:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I work with the AS400. Stop complaining.
-----
You helped create that monstrosity?!?!?!?!?!?!
*logs out of as400 to find and lay waste to you*
-----
Ahhhh... Mommy!
I wish I could say I made something that shitty. I work on it and it eats my soul.
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2008-02-05 10:46:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DancingOtter (user info) at 2008-02-05 08:50:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2008-02-04 11:14:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
break both legs and make her fix it single handedly
since her legs are broken she wont have much to do besides sit around.
------------
ahahahahaha - nice.
---
Thanx :)
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2008-02-05 10:46:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Falafel (user info) at 2008-02-04 20:25:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I work with the AS400. Stop complaining.
-----
You helped create that monstrosity?!?!?!?!?!?!
*logs out of as400 to find and lay waste to you*
Submitted by DancingOtter (user info) at 2008-02-05 08:50:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2008-02-04 11:14:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
break both legs and make her fix it single handedly
since her legs are broken she wont have much to do besides sit around.
------------
ahahahahaha - nice.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-02-05 08:12:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
delete the double bookings
Submitted by Entaran (user info) at 2008-02-04 22:29:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
RJ45 is a pin connector, not a cable. You're looking for CAT-5 or CAT-6.
.NET is dead. ASP I think just got discontinued by Microsoft (or maybe that was a dream I had).
Taser into the chair + remote switch is the best one so far.
And abortion by coathanger.
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2008-02-04 21:53:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2008-02-04 11:57:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ctrl+Z
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-02-04 21:10:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Aren't you people calling yourselves software developers or engineers or code sanitation workers these days? Why would a software engineer care about the info in the database? That would be like an automotive engineer changing my oil. Give the case to your DBA and ask him why the fuck he isn't running a business support app that nixes duplicate entries. Pretty much anything not written by a three year old with down syndrome should do.
Submitted by Falafel (user info) at 2008-02-04 20:25:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I work with the AS400. Stop complaining.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-02-04 18:30:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Rare Queen sighting, below.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-02-04 17:02:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Best episode ever below.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2008-02-04 16:50:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ever see that south park where cartman made that kid's parents into chilli and tricked him into eating them?
That's always a good one.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2008-02-04 15:59:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Edit the batch file to delete the records which were just added (all 4083 identical bookings), then re-apply them as before.
What is it you do again?
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-02-04 12:43:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
needs more rape.
Submitted by iacobus (user info) at 2008-02-04 12:33:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Give her a massive dose of Plavix and a few good swipes with a razor blade.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-02-04 11:57:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd also find a new vendor for your database systems, or hire a few good DBAs, stat.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2008-02-04 11:57:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ctrl+Z
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-02-04 11:55:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The point Hadley and I were getting at is that, had the database been properly designed from the start, it would not have allowed insertion of duplicate entries. No need to get your panties in a bunch.
However, since your system DID allow it, I would recommend a full day of self-flagellation with a cat o' nine tails made out of RJ-45 cable as appropriate punishment.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-02-04 11:42:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You're using .NET. And you say we are morons and not real programmers.
Delicious irony.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2008-02-04 11:34:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Papercuts in between their fingers.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2008-02-04 11:25:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
The best punishment of all is to make sure we know which baby is hers on Growingfamily.com
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-02-04 11:23:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Tell her all is forgiven...then, when she least expects it, sneeze 'accidentally' in her direction, making sure you spit all over her face (and hair).
Submitted by SoxSexSax (user info) at 2008-02-04 11:17:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I just cannot be bothered to go into great detail, suffice to say that with the crappy database we have (supplied by Amdex, not written by us, I hasten to add) it is very difficult for us to address this in a speedy fashion. And it's nothing to do with OUR indexes...it is the source company's id's that have become duplicated, meaning that receipts are being added to two bookings. Jeez, you think I'd have posted it if it were that trivial? My boss is by far and away the best ASP.NET developer I have ever met and HE'S worried...if he's worried then it's a bad problem, end of story.
However, talk about a bunch of boring responses. Now I remember why I rarely come here any more. Get a better conversation out of a toaster than you lot. The only comedy value in this thread came from those who thought I was asking for aid rather than amusing ways of punishing her.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-02-04 11:17:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Wack your peepee.
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2008-02-04 11:14:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
break both legs and make her fix it single handedly
since her legs are broken she wont have much to do besides sit around.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-02-04 10:56:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Unless I'm missing something, this IS an easy fix.
Now, if your coding skills are on par with your writing skills, then I can see why you're a horrible failure. Are these two thousand different bookings, and you've double booked all your rooms? Did you book the same room two thousand times? Did you have one person marked as booking all the rooms twice?
Description helps.
Steak remains victorious!
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-02-04 10:50:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SoxSexSax (user info) at 2008-02-04 10:39:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Big LOL at the morons who think this is an easy fix. When you've moved on from "learn BASIC in 20 days" and have actually started some real coding, let me know.
-----
Proper indexing is easy. What aren't you telling us about this?
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2008-02-04 10:48:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Make her use Lotus notes for everything...that is enough punishment that anything else would simply be too nice
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2008-02-04 10:44:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
so basically the idiot ran the same batch twice
and processed everyone twice.
either that or you are not giving enough information
either way...I'd say wire a taser to his/her chair with a remote switch and randomly zap his/her ass.
Submitted by SoxSexSax (user info) at 2008-02-04 10:39:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Big LOL at the morons who think this is an easy fix. When you've moved on from "learn BASIC in 20 days" and have actually started some real coding, let me know.
I'm leaning towards beating her to death with a shovel. Sound good?
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2008-02-04 10:39:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The weak and nerdy are admired for their computer-programming abilities.
-- Homer Simpson
Bart vs. Australia
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-02-04 10:16:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Problem: You're a tard.
Steak's simple solution: See below.
If: Room = booked
Then: Room = "Not available" {to new customer}
Problem solved! Steak wins! Flawless victory!
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2008-02-04 09:55:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Cancel both sets of bookings, post a sign out front with that guy's business card.
"Sorry folks, you're reservations are canceled. The moose out front should have told you."
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-02-04 09:43:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
There are some surprisingly sensible suggestions here.
Mine will not be one of them.
Advertise her job, somewhere she will see it. Let that be a warning, bitch.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-02-04 09:39:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What Hadley said. You need a better DBA that knows how to set up a properly indexed database.
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2008-02-04 09:38:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
just dump a vile or 'cid in her coffee
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-02-04 09:20:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What you're desribing is at best a minor inconvenience. Make her fix the error, and then go find something important to worry about.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-02-04 09:17:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd do some error checking to make sure that duplicate bookings weren't possible.
Then I'd tell the programmer that didn't do error checking to fist himself.