Deprivation (717 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.03 on 53 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ghola (View user info) at 2008-02-08 12:18:21 EST
she plans to cut your balls off
she is going to do it herself
like making the cake at home
instead of buying one for 4.99
(i hope she doesn't burn the cake)
she is going to wrap a rubber band around each nut
pinch the skin
cut off the blood flow
until they dry up
and fall off
she says it will not hurt
and that it's completely safe
(i would never eat her cake)
she says you will be more docile
calmer
that you'll probably gain some weight
but she'll buy you diet food
(at least it's not cake)
she says you'll never miss them
but i wonder if you won't
struggle to get the bands off
knowing it is inevitable
when she gets up to answer the phone
i take her cake pan and a bag of sugar
out of the cabinet. i run outside,
carrying them both,
hoping to deprive her of something.
(i know it's not the same)
User Reviews
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-11 12:00:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Download it. It's not very good, but there's a great scene in it relating to your poem.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-02-11 07:33:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
never heard of it.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-11 06:43:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Just watched 'Hard Candy'?
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-02-11 06:14:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2008-02-09 13:46:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i rather like this
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-02-09 04:28:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That was...
diffrent.
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2008-02-08 23:31:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I love you.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2008-02-08 21:21:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Xcuses - I blame Google. It keeps sending me here when I'm looking for things that actually contribute something productive to my day...
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-02-08 21:19:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ha ha, little joe was never the same after spending the night in the back of that 7-11 store
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2008-02-08 21:12:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't believe you are still lurking around this site.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2008-02-08 21:06:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
this makes me feel sad for this lady's dog (as i am assuming that's what this is about)
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-02-08 20:58:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-02-08 20:44:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
After I cut your tits off
And stick them up your toot
The fact that you dislike me
Will become, I'm sure, quite moot
===================
Your weenie, short as it is,
Could not produce a modicum of jizz.
Removal of hooters will make you a fool
We know the answer; you're just a fool.
:)
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-02-08 20:44:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
After I cut your tits off
And stick them up your toot
The fact that you dislike me
Will become, I'm sure, quite moot
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-02-08 20:31:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-02-08 20:31:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-02-08 19:57:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i enjoyed this post and the reviews, but i couldnt tell you why.
Submitted by Wompom (user info) at 2008-02-08 15:52:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Ahhh, no.
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-02-08 15:49:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-02-08 14:34:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-02-08 12:37:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
We should ask simon.
---
lol
this was okay. i guess. it didn't provoke much emotion one way or the other to be honest.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-02-08 14:21:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Once upon a time there was a little boy named Little Joe
Little Boy liked lots of things.
He liked hiking in the woods, playing ball, and defecating on a daily basis.
One day Little Joe's parents were so sick of looking at him that they found him a friend over the internet.
The friend was another little boy his age who also liked hiking, playing with balls, and defecating.
They talked about all sorts of things, including Nintendo and the benefits of eating bran.
Then one day Little Joe went to meet him down at the 7-11.
This was the worst mistake of his life.
For his new friend wasn't a little boy at all.
He was a 48 year old child molester with plumber's butt.
THE END
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-02-08 14:02:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's when two seperate, nonplaural items are used in the singular sense, it's ok.
:)
Gholatime!
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-02-08 14:02:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This read to me as if Shel Silverstein had a private collection of creepy, deranged poems he was ashamed of, and some asshole showed it to Uber eight or so years after his death.
Jerk.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-02-08 13:49:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
In one sentence The Man You Love To Hate spells it out. Awesome.
--
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-02-08 13:36:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
IS is correct in your sentence. Reword it: "A classic combination is castration and cake."
--
By fuck, do I need this guy as my editor.
Submitted by Paralyzed_By_Hope (user info) at 2008-02-08 13:48:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
For the poem AND the grammar lesson.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-02-08 13:42:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-02-08 13:30:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I mean *as the object
"However, a compound subject with and takes a singular verb when the subject as a whole refers to only one thing, or is considered as referring to only one thing.
"Strawberries and cream is my favorite dessert."
The use of the singular verb 'is' indicates that the compound subject strawberries and cream is being considered as referring to a single type of dessert.
Yeah?
========
And the other side of that is: "Strawberries and cream ARE two of my favorite foods."
<object of the preposition is plural>
Ain't English fun?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-02-08 13:40:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah what forensic said.
We are s-m-r-t.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-02-08 13:38:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, just what Sac said. My tiny brain got interrupted by the doorbell. . .
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-02-08 13:38:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That happened to me once, but luckily they grew back.
Or: thtmobltgbomfgiscatwskaa
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-02-08 13:36:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-02-08 12:28:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Castration and cake is such a classic combination.
Is? Are? Someone help me out here, it's been a long time since Grammar 304.
============
IS is correct in your sentence. Reword it: "A classic combination is castration and cake."
The use of the noun 'combination' is the determining part.
"Castration and cake are classics."
seewhutimean?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-02-08 13:31:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-02-08 12:28:33 CST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think it's "is," because 'combination' as the subject is sort of a collective noun, right?
=======
'swat I thought, see belo
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-02-08 13:30:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I mean *as the object
"However, a compound subject with and takes a singular verb when the subject as a whole refers to only one thing, or is considered as referring to only one thing.
"Strawberries and cream is my favorite dessert."
The use of the singular verb 'is' indicates that the compound subject strawberries and cream is being considered as referring to a single type of dessert.
Yeah?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-02-08 13:28:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think it's "is," because 'combination' as the subject is sort of a collective noun, right?
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2008-02-08 13:25:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
how barbaric. are you planning on flinging the testiclates out a car window via a seatbelt fashioned into a sling shot?
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-02-08 13:25:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-02-08 12:37:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
We should ask simon.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-02-08 12:36:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No idea what this was about.
**
lol
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-02-08 13:20:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
how gleefully nonsensical
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-02-08 13:12:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Someone dialed?
My guess is that if you can't use the English language properly you should try to write. At least that's what I get told...and aren't getting a degree in this shit? University of Home School, eh?
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-02-08 12:58:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for Jack's review/story
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-02-08 12:54:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Revenge
i
told her
after
she ratted me out
(about the money, fuck it was mine,
fuck the corporation,) and
i
lost my job and
that fuckin
guy
with the lamborghini
loaded her bags
in the trunk and
drove her away and
i
said you fuckin bitch
i
said i'll have my balls
so far down your throat you gag
i
watched her day after day and
when she went to the dentist
(to get work done on a molar)
i
snuck into the office
i
punched the receptionist in the face
until she passed out
i
came up behind the dental assistant and
wrapped my hands around her throat and
she bucked against
me
until she passed out
(her ass hitting my crotch made
me
hard as a fuckin stone)
the dentist pissed his pants when he saw
me
haha
i
grabbed a needle he was holding and
stuck it in his eye
he screamed and
ran and hit the wall, boom, baby,
out cold
and there you were
staring up at
me
with those big blue eyes
your mouth held open by
black rubber wedges
you tried to get out of the chair
i
put a foot between your big tits and
pushed you back in the chair and
busted open a box of dental floss
tying your wrists to the arms of the chair then
i
took off my pants and shorts and
climbed up on the chair
(steadying myself with
the white metal arm holding the light) and
i
squatted over you and
let my balls drop into
your
gaping mouth and
my cock was against your forehead (and
when you looked at it
your eyes crossed) and
i
laughed and
you were trying to cry for help and
your tongue wiggling against my balls
made me shoot my load and
it landed on the legs of the unconscious assistant and
you made gagging noises as you gagged on my balls and
i
was satisfied
i
climbed down off the chair and
my drooling cock
left a smear of semen on your face and
some dribbled into your left eye and
you thrashed in the chair and
your eye got bloodshot and
i
said, "See ya," and
i
was gone
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-02-08 12:52:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because you're a cute chick and thats what we were told to do in the uber handbook.
i have no idea what the post was about.
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-02-08 12:50:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, wonderful.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-02-08 12:47:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-02-08 12:33:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bananas and apples is good.
Bananas and apples are good.
I think it has to be 'are.'
--
Castration and cake is
CastrationS and cakeS are...
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-02-08 12:37:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
We should ask simon.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-02-08 12:36:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No idea what this was about.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-02-08 12:35:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i think you're both right.
glargh
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-02-08 12:35:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Castration and cake. Both are singular so "is"?
Apples and bananas. Both are plural, so "are"?
I don't know.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-02-08 12:34:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tough call.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-02-08 12:33:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i dunno really
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-02-08 12:33:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bananas and apples is good.
Bananas and apples are good.
I think it has to be 'are.'
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-02-08 12:31:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I think that when you combine 2 items, you can use the singular.
Castration and cake IS.....
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-02-08 12:28:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Castration and cake is such a classic combination.
Is? Are? Someone help me out here, it's been a long time since Grammar 304.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-02-08 12:24:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
WTF?
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-02-08 12:24:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
meh
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-02-08 12:21:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
your wierd is showing