History of the internet (789 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.1 on 24 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Paul Hibbert (View user info) at 2008-02-10 07:34:56 EST
It is now believed that cavemen first discovered the internet in 1923 behind a small menagerie of rocks. They put it to limited use of course and used it simply to bludgeon mammoths for food and shelter.
The mammoths took control of the internet for a brief period in 1932 and invented myspace.com so that they could meet with friends and develop social skills without having to risk the humiliation of any real life social faux pas.
It was mammoths that invented the 'smiley' so that they could communicate emotions through their unintelligible drivel without the need for words longer than 4 letters. With their limited intellect the mammoths began to shorten words on this basis and so text chat was born.
As the mammoths continued to lmao and rofl, mankind lay sleeping; blissfully unaware of the damage that had been done to the internet.
The mammoths 'commented each others pics' and posed at awkward angles until the internet had been rendered completely pointless. By 1935 there were several large holes. Intelligence, witty banter and irony slipped out unnoticed.
Mankind returned to find his beautiful discovery in shards on the floor. He spent the next 50 years trying to pick up the pieces but he was too late. Alas there were too many mammoths...
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!!! mAmm0TH!!1! says:
gay im i now
Mankind says:
yes
!!! mAmm0TH!!1! says:
u hert my gay feelings im gona ry n tell my bf u said that
!!! mAmm0TH!!1! says:
lol
Mankind says:
HAHAHAHA
!!! mAmm0TH!!1! says:
hes coming now hes gona like slap u with his pink gloves
!!! mAmm0TH!!1! says:
lol
Mankind says:
ooo shocking
Mankind like totally says:
wait... wont it ruin his newly maincured nails?
!!! mAmm0TH!!1! says:
omg my freaking god yes ill tell bruce not to lol
Manking like totally says:
MAMMOTH!
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Fucking mammoths.
User Reviews
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-03-10 20:17:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
schizo below
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-02-14 14:42:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-02-11 19:41:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This was admittedly terrible. However, let me give a big fuck you to those of you who rated it a minus based on my mis-use of "menagerie"... it was deliberate. Two more brain cells and you could have made an educated decision on whether you found it amusing or not, I could have accepted "it isn't funny you described rocks as a menagerie", but I can't accept your retarded drivelling whinery.
Suck it.
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Hahaha, look how drunk and angry I was! har!
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-02-13 17:15:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i chuckled
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-02-12 11:32:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck everyone.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-02-12 11:19:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2008-02-12 06:46:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for caring
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-02-11 19:41:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This was admittedly terrible. However, let me give a big fuck you to those of you who rated it a minus based on my mis-use of "menagerie"... it was deliberate. Two more brain cells and you could have made an educated decision on whether you found it amusing or not, I could have accepted "it isn't funny you described rocks as a menagerie", but I can't accept your retarded drivelling whinery.
Suck it.
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2008-02-11 11:17:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
meh
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-11 04:32:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Man destroying the saber toothed lolcat with a jawbone.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2008-02-11 03:11:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
what no algore?????
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-02-11 02:50:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by hooch4 (user info) at 2008-02-10 18:58:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know why but i thought that was awesome.
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Q4T
Submitted by hooch4 (user info) at 2008-02-10 18:58:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know why but i thought that was awesome.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2008-02-10 18:25:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I got up to menagerie - which is a collection of diverse animals, and can't be used to describe rocks. Figured the rest of it probably deserved -2.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-02-10 16:06:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-02-10 15:40:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It doesn't deserve a +2, but it has a crappy rating already, so have a boost.
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-02-10 14:29:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2008-02-10 13:37:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
true dat
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2008-02-10 12:52:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2008-02-10 08:36:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So, where did lolcats come from?
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The tenth circle of hell.
Submitted by Green_Ranger (user info) at 2008-02-10 12:48:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2008-02-10 11:10:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Maybe he was the caveman.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-02-10 10:25:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Al Gore? Tis a sad day when a history of the internet and Al Gore aren't together.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-02-10 08:55:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2008-02-10 08:36:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So, where did lolcats come from?
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2008-02-10 08:34:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
zOMG!