What makes a Shit Post? (742 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.23 on 41 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by locksly (View user info) at 2008-02-11 23:07:25 EST
There has been a large increase in the number of 'special needs' people logging on to Ubersite lately, and subsequently a large number of Shit Posts.
This scenario has got me thinking, what does it take to produce a truly Shit Post?
The lowest rated post is rarely the Shittest Post...
There are so many different levels of Shit Posts now, we need to start categorizing them...
Theres 3 line Shit Posts, where users seem to add a useless, ill planned, semi formed paragraph every few days, not unlike an update on Myspace. Now these posts are SHIT, but since the user has not put too much time or effort in they are not the Shittiest form of Shit Posts. Example:
astral206 http://www.ubersite.com/u/Astral206
Then are the Shit Posts that try too hard... Someone has checked out Uber but instead of posting immediately they hung around for a bit to kind of 'catch the flow' and planned their grand entrance into Uberdom, only to fail miserably as the rest of Uber smells the N00b and desperation in the air. Example:
Professor McBigBalls http://www.ubersite.com/u/Green_Ranger
Of course my favourite Shit Posts are the ones where people have put in a fair bit of effort, they have included pictures, spent time on MSpaint, learnt who to pick on, sucked up to the regulars and Plus 2'd because well, everyone plus 2'd it so it must be cool! Its been a while since one of these Shit Posters have graced us with their presence, so I had to dig into the archives to find these two gems:
Doodles http://www.ubersite.com/u/Doodles
Maltese http://www.ubersite.com/u/Maltese (I admit Maltese did make me laugh sometimes)
But what truly is the definition of a Shit Post, I think it involves the following:
User put in way too much effort (obsessive)
User honestly though it was a good post, a chance of hitting b@w (delusional)
User feels the burn of the multiple 0000and1111's abusing him in reviews (low self esteem and emotional maturity)
and,
Users post get little or no attention and is booted from front page after 10 reviews within one hour.
For this reason I am unable to crown the Shittest Post Ever, some would say most anything by Electro would qualify but people chuckled at his posts and would keep hitting them to see what reviews had been written. So Electro is not a nominee...
I suppose it will be a post by one the N00bs, but because it got taken off the front page so quickly we won't even remember it, let alone remember dropping the bomb of -2's that ended the career of our shittest poster...
Until then I'll leave you with Uber lowest rating post (keeping in mind there are many lower rated posts but there is a cut off to the number of reviews so...)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/66804
also this pic was in google images, I like Bill Clinton - look what he did for the defecit - I wouldn't crap on him
User Reviews
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-02-12 21:20:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-02-12 18:06:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
*sighs*
please just fuck off. you're unoriginal and grating.
_________
FUCK OFF you stupid bitch, YOUR THE 1 WHO IS UNORIGINAL AND GIRATING 111
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-02-12 20:12:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-02-12 18:30:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey toe, I still gotta email you my lovin'. I had the most lesbian dream the other day. I was with a bunch of chicks and they had to lie on a bed in a line while I felt them up to see who had the prettiest tuppence. Am I gay? Am I? What should I tell my husband? Why me?!
Locksly leave her alone. She could eat you for breakfast.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-02-12 18:06:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
*sighs*
please just fuck off. you're unoriginal and grating.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-02-12 18:01:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-02-12 07:37:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-02-12 06:41:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Toe, lovely, you don't get it. Locksly isn't saying he is better than woolfe just that woolfe has nothing to contribute to this site.
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Oh my teasing lesbian friend, that was the point of my whole review. Mwah.
______
Theres is no way that you are that fucking stupid.
Do people like you breed all over NZ?
Are there others like you? Have they mastered the use of the telephone and are they capable of leaving NZ and going to other countries?
Are you able to breed with homo sapiens or just the wild pig like creatures you descend from?
Please let me know I am awfully interested.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-02-12 14:44:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Smug and superior Scot below.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-02-12 13:55:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by locksly (View user info) at 2008-02-12 04:07:25 GMT
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There has been a large increase in the number of 'special needs' people logging on to Ubersite lately,
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irony is dead
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2008-02-12 12:45:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-02-12 08:14:37 PST (#)
Ranking: -2
locksly
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2008-02-12 11:26:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This was originaly a maltese post : http://www.ubersite.com/m/96206 A classic..
Also troof below.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-02-12 11:20:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
My post was the first shit post to be used in the example, so I feel obligated to comment. I've posted only several times. Some are indeed shitty, because they were intended to be so. The most recent one was a few hours ago and was posted because it was a real life incident that required no more than what was written. Hemmingway once wrote a story with just six words. And yes, I am comparable to Hemmingway. People that -2 on this site are usually people who get horrible ratings themselves and want others to feel their inadequacy. Look at their histories and you'll see this is true. Otherwise, I agree with you. That's why I read less than half of the shit you people post.
=============
How are you comparable to Hemingway when you misspell his name?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-02-12 11:14:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
locksly
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-02-12 10:58:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
At least somebody is making an effort to educate retards. +3 for effort, -2 for futility.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-02-12 10:07:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-02-12 09:58:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/u/Orgasmatron
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-02-12 09:46:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 'cause I didn't make your list.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-02-12 08:50:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Your obsession with this place is worrisome, Jaypeg.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-02-12 08:34:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-02-12 07:37:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-02-12 06:41:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Toe, lovely, you don't get it. Locksly isn't saying he is better than woolfe just that woolfe has nothing to contribute to this site.
-----
Oh my teasing lesbian friend, that was the point of my whole review. Mwah.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-02-12 07:12:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Everything you ever wanted to know about the_biggest_faggot_EVAR!
User id: 29026
Registered on or around: 2006-10-21 04:51:49 EDT
# Messages posted: 58
# Reviews written: 1955
# Times these posts have been reviewed: 2267
# Hits: 37500
Average rating of all messages: 0.43
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-02-12 06:53:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh so he did. Well, who are you woolfe? Are you an alter? Why do that to my posts? Now I have to suffer the humiliation of my ugly mug passing through the MRR. Urgh. You are a strange one, woolfe. Did you really think Ax deserved 1 or did you just wanna kill his run? Why do you rarely leave a comment? Why do you never post? WHO ARE YOU??
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2008-02-12 06:46:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
axlotol got a +1
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-02-12 06:41:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Toe, lovely, you don't get it. Locksly isn't saying he is better than woolfe just that woolfe has nothing to contribute to this site.
woolfe is a big steaming turd anyway.
You know he just -2ed Axs latest post just to ruin the guys perfect, and well deserved, run of +2s.
It's pathetic. He should shut the fuck up until he has something worth saying, or posting. Coward.
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2008-02-12 06:39:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
and have a plus 2 for no reason
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2008-02-12 06:37:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
27895 that is you
29026 thats lock
1542 and thats me
or that was once my fav thing ta do, but noobs have no shame these days
i mean hell how many of the ol'heads are still around
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-02-12 06:31:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Just like 'teen comedy' movies where virgins go to a party and score - it has BEEN DONE.
'You -2'd me, i'll just post your user details - oh look at that, he only has 4 posts and 23 reviews - i'm obviously better so lets let everyone know his inferiority as an internet persona on ubersite.'
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-02-12 06:14:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-02-12 05:49:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-02-12 05:35:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Everything you ever wanted to know about woolfe
User id: 32489
Registered on or around: 2007-11-14 11:05:35 EST
# Messages posted: 0
# Reviews written: 128
# Times these posts have been reviewed: 0
# Hits: 0
Average rating of all messages: 0
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ugh, you WENT there, the whole - my user details are, like, waaay better than yours - thing is OLD.
*hopes she has never done the same*
_____
FUCK.
IDIOT.
The point of posting his details was to say WTF do you contribute?
Its not to say I've been here longer than him because I am positive woolfe is an alter anyway and has probably been here for a few years.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-02-12 05:49:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-02-12 05:35:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Everything you ever wanted to know about woolfe
User id: 32489
Registered on or around: 2007-11-14 11:05:35 EST
# Messages posted: 0
# Reviews written: 128
# Times these posts have been reviewed: 0
# Hits: 0
Average rating of all messages: 0
----
ugh, you WENT there, the whole - my user details are, like, waaay better than yours - thing is OLD.
*hopes she has never done the same*
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-12 05:42:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Pfft, most posts aren't that shit.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-02-12 05:35:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Everything you ever wanted to know about woolfe
User id: 32489
Registered on or around: 2007-11-14 11:05:35 EST
# Messages posted: 0
# Reviews written: 128
# Times these posts have been reviewed: 0
# Hits: 0
Average rating of all messages: 0
_____
dripping with your moms insight.
into the P0RN world.
That fucking showed him.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-02-12 05:01:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
dO not 'diss' the Maltese - loves that guy.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-02-12 05:00:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
the amount of shit in is directly related to the user #(s)
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2008-02-12 04:59:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
dripping with insight.
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2008-02-12 04:42:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was not shit.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2008-02-12 01:09:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
so I heard you don't like sex.
Submitted by Astral206 (user info) at 2008-02-12 00:32:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
My post was the first shit post to be used in the example, so I feel obligated to comment. I've posted only several times. Some are indeed shitty, because they were intended to be so. The most recent one was a few hours ago and was posted because it was a real life incident that required no more than what was written. Hemmingway once wrote a story with just six words. And yes, I am comparable to Hemmingway. People that -2 on this site are usually people who get horrible ratings themselves and want others to feel their inadequacy. Look at their histories and you'll see this is true. Otherwise, I agree with you. That's why I read less than half of the shit you people post.
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-02-12 00:04:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Arnold_Benedict (user info) at 2008-02-11 23:26:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
this psot sucks
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-02-11 23:21:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Here is a shit(head) post:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/100665
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-02-11 23:18:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Hmmm...
I think you pretty well established the 3 main forms of shitposts. Great examples as well. From lack of effort to epic fail, I believe you also covered the type of users that make these posts, too. Of course, there can be "quality" shitposts done on SPT occasionally, but that's a whole other post in itself.
However, I kinda disagree with this concept -> "But what truly is the definition of a Shit Post, I think it involves the following: "
Some of the points you made didn't really make sense to me. Granted, I've seen some individuals try to create lame attempts to capture a B@W spot (I know I have), but FAR better that than any of the first 3 types of posts you detailed. I dunno, I guess I'd rather see a lot of misguided effort than none at all.
And I still wanna see Axolotl beat the shit outta Maltese...
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-11 23:13:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
...
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-02-11 23:10:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Apollo's gonna be all over your ass.