Ubertines, 2008: Heart In a Handbag (604 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.6 on 26 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by EkO (View user info) at 2008-02-13 08:40:46 EST
Heart In a Handbag
http://www.ubersite.com/m/114915
Here she comes; again. Every day she has been here she has been waiting.
******
I notice that she arrives about the same time every day. She always has the same style dress, one that reminds you of curtains or a table cloth. To me, I imagine it be a patina film covering a once beautiful copper statue. Once upon a time this lady was a premium choice, I'm sure.
Here she is, nonetheless. She shimmies to the same spot that she always does. I'm strumming my guitar hoping that someone will be gracious enough to drop some change or even a bill in the case. I admire her. She is waiting, I can just tell.
Her dress would be very nice circa 1975. Alas, it's Valentine's Day in 2008 and she's been here, like me, for the past four years.
A thin blue and some purple spiders out over her speckled arms making one painfully aware of the mapping of her veins. Varicose? Possibly. Liver spots dot her arms and legs but so far as I can tell she has never cared.
******
Occasionally when she sits there on that bench, the one right against the tiled wall over there, the sun will creep down the steps and she will watch it. As the minutes go by she'll lift her head and take note of the sun's rays slowly walking across the tiles. Sometimes for an hour or more she'll have a contest with the sun. Nothing, but a simple repositioning on the bench cures the problem every time.
Here the sun lurches forward toward her and she is not even remotely paying it any attention. I wonder what's wrong. For the four years that I've played my guitar, panhandling a living, I've become quite aware of the quirks and nuances of this lady. I know that the sun is a bother to her.
Occasionally a passerby will acknowledge her to which she does not respond.
"Good afternoon, ma'am."
"Excuse me, do you have the time?"
"Are you ok?"
The best response one could wish for is a grunt or a head shake indicating that no, she doesn't have the time, and no, she's not ok.
******
Today is Valentine's Day and she is still waiting. Her pudgy little ankles are balled up with a subtle amount of fat and skin. Surely it is not the sign of obesity or previous fatness. It is the sign of waiting, the sign of sitting a long time, like me, just waiting for the next tip, or for a record producer to walk by and offer me a contract. I'm happy. She's not.
Every day—there has been a lot—she is becoming more of a statue. Every day I see the emotion pour out of her. It's almost as if she is a battery fully charged in the morning and emotionally drained when she leaves. Still I imagine her as a battery for the entire four years and evidently it too needs to be recharged.
Once or twice the cops were called because people were worried about her. Hell, I've even been worried about her a few times. From this I've learned that her name is Elanor. I have become quite fond of Elanor.
******
I see it now. Truly, I do. Elanor is still beautiful; in her own way. Elanor has pain that is not physical. She wears it proudly, like a clown with a red nose or a matador with a ridiculous outfit.
Today is different, however. She is a bit frailer, a delicate shell of her former self I suppose. I don't know what she is waiting for but I am assuming that it someone that has been dead for four years. This person (once again, I'm assuming) probably met her decades ago right where she is sitting, on the wooden bench which occasionally gets sunlight.
I want so badly to put my guitar down and talk to Elanor. I wan to let her know that I'm truly sorry for whatever atrocity has taken that person away from her, to let her know that she doesn't have to wait anymore. I want to let her know that I have made a song for her and I sometimes sing to her. I'm afraid that I'll crush her if I talk to her though.
The sun has gone past her and she hasn't noticed.
I am fairly certain that Elanor has finally placed her heart in a handbag for the last time.
The police arrive and confirm it.
User Reviews
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-02-15 23:04:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-02-13 15:38:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I can see what you're going for. Not a perfect 2 because some of the wording is awkward and this could have been a much cleaner read. Keep writing though. The more you read and write the better you'll play with the words.
===
And what Zebra said about her name.
Submitted by DreamWeaver (user info) at 2008-02-14 20:39:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Needs a bit of a polish but beautiful anyway.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-02-14 20:29:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-02-14 09:21:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HOLY FUCK below. I thought Zebra was gone for good.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2008-02-13 23:51:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Really nice.
I don't like the way you spelled the old woman's name, though. Unless there's a reason, traditional spelling is preferable because otherwise the reader notices it and there's no need to detract from your lovely prose, even for an instant.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-02-13 19:49:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought this was decent
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-02-13 17:30:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-13 19:27:36 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome.
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I am rooting for you.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-02-13 15:38:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I can see what you're going for. Not a perfect 2 because some of the wording is awkward and this could have been a much cleaner read. Keep writing though. The more you read and write the better you'll play with the words.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-02-13 15:33:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
for the imagery only
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-02-13 14:46:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This was pretty well written but it didn't go anywhere. Seriously. You could have cut it in half and all I would have missed were some pretty words. And of course, as soon as age came up we all knew she was going to die.
This just didn't knock my dick into the dirt.
Submitted by BlazinBull (user info) at 2008-02-13 14:38:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-02-13 14:37:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I need more drama, something to pull me along.
Although I liked the picture.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-13 14:27:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome.
Submitted by dithered (user info) at 2008-02-13 14:00:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Superb. What Thorns said.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-02-13 13:59:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
:)
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-02-13 13:55:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
nice
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-02-13 13:27:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Best entry so far.
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-02-13 12:18:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-02-13 12:13:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Huzzah!
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-02-13 12:00:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i need to know who you are competing against so i can rate you correctly.
???
also, haha below
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-02-13 11:54:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretty good, I liked the way you told the story, simply and without much grandiose verbosity. It's only really worthy of a +1.5 but I hate TheUniter.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-02-13 11:43:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yozz, you rebel, you
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-02-13 11:42:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by loopdeloo (user info) at 2008-02-13 11:03:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-02-13 09:15:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-02-13 08:45:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment