helping the sad and lonely uber guys...a PSA (NSFW) (1522 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.6 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by RAYG (View user info) at 2008-02-14 02:51:14 EST
Statistically speaking; the weekend BEFORE, ON, and the weekend AFTER Valintines' Day are the best times of the year to get you virgin losers laid.
The easiest way to get lucky is by finding a single woman and simply boost her self esteem (true for any time of the year....but 50X as powerful on V-Day) and we all know self esteem doesnt get any lower than a single girl on Valintines Day
All day the non-single girls rub it in with the "high and mighty, snobby, holier-than-thou gloating" additude they display infront of the sad, lonely single girls doing that bitchy thing that women do. you know, the "by pretending to console the single woman when really they're just gloating in a round about way, talking about how great their guy was and how much more romantic he is than any guy they could ever have" kinda way
women just like to compete... its pretty brutal
Bottom line....
Girls that are single are easy to make feel sexy. ANY nice thing scores like 50 times the bonus points
Girls that aren't single ALREADY feel sexy.... and they want to prove they are sexy too, with hot crazy tantric monkey sex
Infact, its pretty impossible to not score this week
On a scale of 1-10 ALL guys get a 6 point rise on valintines day...
If you dont get laid this week you simply arent trying at all
And of course guys like me that sleep with the same chick every night get extra kinky "double jointed fun for everyone" kind of sex that'll take 3 days to recover from.
Hooray for obligatory crazy freaky sex day....
User Reviews
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2008-02-15 02:01:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
LARP
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2008-02-14 12:24:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Statistically speaking, the easiest day to get laid is the day you meet Method's Mom.
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2008-02-14 11:32:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 filename
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2008-02-14 11:30:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Girls that are single are easy to make feel sexy. ANY nice thing scores like 50 times the bonus points
Girls that aren't single ALREADY feel sexy.... and they want to prove they are sexy too, with hot crazy tantric monkey sex
----------------
This is a gross generalization. Some people want to be single, and they don't want to fuck anybody. And plenty of non-singles don't feel sexy and are in miserable relationships with people who abuse them, insult them, or don't satisfy them sexually. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you were just trying to be funny.
Oh, and a couple of points for the gif.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-02-14 11:16:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
My toughest decision is who to fuck FIRST on Valentine's Day...Mrs. Shlongy or one of my side shag pieces?
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2008-02-14 11:08:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i liked the gif, but that post will get no one laid.
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2008-02-14 10:55:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
goes to show that if even I, a ginger geek can get laid... there is no excuse for anyone else
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-02-14 10:25:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't know how you ever managed to get laid and have a kid, Opie
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-02-14 10:12:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-1 for the shitty advice, another -1 for "Valintines Day"... can no one spell it right?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-02-14 09:57:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ginger LARPers aren't allowed to give anyone advice on getting laid, sorry.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-02-14 09:44:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Homer: I want everyone to know that this is Ned Flanders ... my
friend!
Lenny: What'd he say?
Carl: I dunno. Somethin' about being gay.
Homer Loves Flanders
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-02-14 08:15:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I'm giving you a point because Lisa's rant is terribly ironic. Isn't she the same person that got rejected from someone on the internet? I'll be wet tonight.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2008-02-14 08:09:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Which one of the LARP gaylords are you, the one who's married, or the one who is a virgin? Either way you're not exactly a source of wisdom on this. I'm supposed to take advice on getting laid from someone who dresses up like a medieval warrior on the weekends?
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-02-14 07:55:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm about the biggest loser here and I still wouldn't take advice from you, you mouth breathing LARPer.
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2008-02-14 06:00:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-02-14 04:21:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
As far as being able to get laid... your credibility is questionable.
haha
Seriously, leave it to the cooler, better-looking people to give advice on girls. You are just embarrassing yourself.
I'm sorry. The truth hurts.
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2008-02-14 05:50:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Some guy I met at a concert this weekend keeps texting me, but that I'm lonely doesn't erase the facts that he has no desire to finish school, is 29 and works at Applebees, and looks like I could beat him in a fight. If you want to fuck a girl on Valentine's Day, you still need to have game. Unless she is easy or has low self-esteem. The rules are pretty much the same all year round.
Do you people actually believe the stuff you say about women or is your misogyny a result of years and years of humiliating rejection?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-02-14 04:21:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
That gif is hypnotic.
As far as being able to get laid... your credibility is questionable.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-02-14 03:54:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
thanks for this.
im off to kill myself...
i will not get anything this day, week or month by the looks of it.
im a miserable old bastard with a broken heart.
its just a stupid day like any other, but much worse.
be my valentine will not ring in my ears but in another mans.
that man will also embrace her as i want to,
but never will again.
moments like this i wish i were locksly
Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2008-02-14 03:32:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This has been common knowledge since the begining of time. Up until 2 years ago I would use this to my advantage to nail no less than 3 chicks on V-Day, and typically 3 or 4 more if it lands near a weekend.
Plus youre into LARPing, and although I play World of Warcraft, LARPing is just uber ghey.
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2008-02-14 03:17:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
rubbish
geting laid is just as easy all year long
plus its winter time in michigan, all there is ta do is fuck in the first place
i was gunna give you a -2
but im feeling generous
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2008-02-14 02:57:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
in a row???
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-02-14 02:56:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"37?"
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-14 02:52:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You're into LARPing.