*Let's pretend we're married... (1208 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0.54 on 63 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Rob Berg (View user info) at 2008-02-17 21:26:05 EST
Due to an unfortunate mix-up, a man and a woman who had previously never met found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a Trans-continental train. The chief steward was very apologetic, but this particular stretch was at full capacity and there were no other rooms available. He assured them, however, that at the next stop they would each have their own cabin.
Initially they were both really quite embarrassed and uneasy over this unfortunate arrangement - but considering it was only going to be for the one night and the fact they were both very tired they decided it would make sense to share the room - he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.
The both fell asleep quickly.
At 1:00am the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying "Excuse me Ma'am - I'm terribly sorry to bother you, but could you please reach into the closet and get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."
"I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married."
The potential of such an idea immediately flooded his imagination and the man very excitedly stammered "Wow! ...that's... that's a great idea!"
"Good," she replied. "Get your own fuckin' blanket."
After a moment of silence, he farted.
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*This joke is based off an existing one and while the set-up and various components have been re-written by the author, the punchline and premise has remained the same.
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2008-02-19 00:35:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
NORTH BY NORTHWEST, MOTHAFUCKA
Submitted by sick.little.weasel (user info) at 2008-02-18 19:48:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sounds like a good plan. I have no idea how this process gets done so this will be quite the adventure. I guess I should finish the story first though huh?
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2008-02-18 19:14:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-02-18 19:08:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-02-18 16:48:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
thank you +2
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You are most certainly welcome.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-02-18 19:07:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by sick.little.weasel (user info) at 2008-02-18 16:30:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-02-18 02:21:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm an animator, by trade - but I also fancy myself an illustrator and graphic designer in general.
Currently I am a Creative Director for a small ad agency and also do contract work as an interactive specialist for a gaming company here in town.
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The reason I ask is because my latest fiction tale is getting some decent fan fair and there has been a request for a graphic interpretation. I inquired about who I could collaborate with on this venture and I was given your name. Interested?
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I encourage you to explore that option - I think its a visually viable little tale you have going over there but that kind of project would require too much of my time I'm afraid.
Maybe do a search for some comic book artists - I bet you could hook up with someone who would be willing and able to bring your story to life.
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2008-02-18 17:26:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-02-18 16:48:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
thank you +2
Submitted by sick.little.weasel (user info) at 2008-02-18 16:30:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-02-18 02:21:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm an animator, by trade - but I also fancy myself an illustrator and graphic designer in general.
Currently I am a Creative Director for a small ad agency and also do contract work as an interactive specialist for a gaming company here in town.
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The reason I ask is because my latest fiction tale is getting some decent fan fair and there has been a request for a graphic interpretation. I inquired about who I could collaborate with on this venture and I was given your name. Interested?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-02-18 15:17:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
NSFMF link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y80BBjJAUaI
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-02-18 14:21:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Weak
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V
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-02-18 13:41:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-02-18 11:15:30 CST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-02-18 10:00:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This isn't funny.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-02-18 10:26:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I chuckled.
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So which is it, I wonder.
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It is a stupid joke you can see coming from a million miles away. Shlongy is right. Get off the fucking pedestal you place yourself on, prick.
I guess you have your answer.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-02-18 12:25:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-02-18 12:21:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Your response earned you a 0 overall.
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PHEW!
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-02-18 12:22:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Oh Blabs.
No one cares what you think.
For the record - It only seems like I am on a pedestal from your perspective because I am that much better than you. You are little better than the random chunk of dog shit that sticks in the crack of your sandal on an otherwise delightful mid-summer stroll.
Now fuck off and go be miserable on the other side of the internet.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-02-18 12:21:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Your response earned you a 0 overall.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2008-02-18 12:17:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
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Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-02-18 11:15:30 CST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-02-18 10:00:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This isn't funny.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-02-18 10:26:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I chuckled.
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So which is it, I wonder.
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It is a stupid joke you can see coming from a million miles away. Shlongy is right. Get off the fucking pedestal you place yourself on, prick.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-02-18 12:15:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-02-18 10:00:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This isn't funny.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-02-18 10:26:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I chuckled.
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So which is it, I wonder.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-02-18 12:09:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-02-18 09:56:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I said the POST is lame.
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Poor comprehension and reading skills on my part. My bad.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-02-18 12:05:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2008-02-18 10:30:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-02-18 03:24:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2008-02-18 03:23:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
sometimes I wonder how hookhand would go over meeting people from uber, I don't think it'd go well.
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I already have an irrational desire to poke him in the eye.
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It's good to see you don't take -2s to unfunny posts personally.
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It's good to see an annoying little shit-stain like yourself thinks so highly of himself. My reaction was based on 5 or so idiotic comments left on various posts last night ranging from misogynistic drivel to just plain stupid. That combined with a string of negativity from someone I have had very little and I'm pretty sure mostly positive interaction with in the past annoyed me.
So you can take this little internet victory and cherish it for all of its irrelevant glory - it doesn't change the fact that you are an irritating pest.
So good job, dork.
Submitted by loopdeloo (user info) at 2008-02-18 11:38:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-02-18 11:14:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
poor showing, rob
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-02-18 11:09:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I HATE yOU SO FucIGN MUCH
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-02-18 10:46:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-02-18 00:19:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-02-17 21:32:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've been hiking in the desert for two days...
^^^^^^^^^
yesterday, @ 10,000' above you, i flushed the toilet
my bad
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Well fuck. I thought that shit was some ectoplasmic
No. I was going to type something long and dull, but I need to take shit.
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2008-02-18 10:30:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-02-18 03:24:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2008-02-18 03:23:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
sometimes I wonder how hookhand would go over meeting people from uber, I don't think it'd go well.
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I already have an irrational desire to poke him in the eye.
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It's good to see you don't take -2s to unfunny posts personally.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-02-18 10:26:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i chuckled.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-02-18 10:00:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This isn't funny.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-02-18 09:56:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I said the POST is lame.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-02-18 09:47:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
EL OH EL
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-02-18 09:03:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
silly pants
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-02-18 08:50:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2008-02-18 08:41:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
if we got married that would mean i got suddenly gay all of a sudden.......
I do not like this post rob i am, i do not like getting married to a boy...f-fr...rom....ca..naid...ian. woot i rhymed - kick arse!
okay *you're* a total homo.
homo boy.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-02-18 08:32:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I forgot what I was rating but I had already selected the numeric value so it couldn't have been that good.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2008-02-18 07:05:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i still dont understand what this has to do with ubersite.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-02-18 03:35:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Oh Willard, I understand full well you think I'm lame.
I imagine it is due to the overwhelming fact that I am, indeed, quite lame.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-02-18 03:27:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It ain't the joke that's lame.
But post whatever you like. I was just expressing my opinion that typing an old joke into the submit box and posting it isn't exactly groundbreaking entertainment.
I can keep a three year old laughing for hours with my car keys.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-02-18 03:24:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2008-02-18 03:23:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
sometimes I wonder how hookhand would go over meeting people from uber, I don't think it'd go well.
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I already have an irrational desire to poke him in the eye.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2008-02-18 03:23:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
sometimes I wonder how hookhand would go over meeting people from uber, I don't think it'd go well.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-02-18 03:14:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
... although the illustration angle is a good one. Hmm...
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-02-18 03:11:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
And really, if you haven't heard the joke before - does that still make it lame?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-02-18 03:10:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2008-02-18 03:05:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Better nate than lever!
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...speaking of lame.
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2008-02-18 03:05:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Better nate than lever!
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-02-18 03:00:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That joke is ancient.
It's so old it probably doesn't warrant attribution.
It probably doesn't warrant a post, either, but whatever.
Why didn't you illustrate it or something?
Just telling an old joke is pretty fucking lame, Berg.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-02-18 02:21:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by sick.little.weasel (user info) at 2008-02-17 23:57:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That was pretty damn funny. I think it is funnier if you are married and your wife has told you to get your own damn (something) before.
By the way Rob, I have heard that you do some artistry for graphic novels or something similar. Is this true?
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Heh - so true. I think that is why I got such a kick out of the joke.
I'm an animator, by trade - but I also fancy myself an illustrator and graphic designer in general.
Currently I am a Creative Director for a small ad agency and also do contract work as an interactive specialist for a gaming company here in town.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-02-18 02:18:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-18 01:59:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I just watched 'I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry'. It was great. Relevant, but largely pointless to the title of this post.
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Nice - we almost watched that this evening, but opted instead to play 'Scene it' on the Xbox 360 over at my best friends house. You play it with 4 people and each person gets a controller and you 'buzz in' - it gets quite tense.
Albeit incredibly nerdy - it was good clean fun. My misspent youth working night-shift at a video store FINALLY paid off.
Wait a min... isn't it 7 in the flippin' morning? You JUST watched a movie?
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-18 01:59:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I just watched 'I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry'. It was great. Relevant, but largely pointless to the title of this post.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-02-18 01:58:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-02-17 22:25:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
*This joke is based off an existing one and while the set-up and various components have been re-written by the author, the punchline and premise has remained the same.
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At least I don't steal stuff. And if I did, I wouldn't say that I did. You phailed.
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I didn't steal anything, idiot. The whole reason I put up that footnote on there was to avoid the appearance of impropriety.
The goal was to make someone laugh - perchance a titter, a guffaw, a giggle - or at the very least a smile.
That you were unable to muster up such a reaction from that trivial bundle of words is unfortunate - but dare I say karmicly excellent. People like you don't deserve to enjoy anything - I'm rather satisfied with your continued disdain.
...and for the record - using the term 'phailed' is a gigantic failure in and of itself. You deserve a rather forceful ninja kick to the head.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-18 00:48:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This is an excellent, if ancient joke.
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2008-02-18 00:46:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That woman is lucky that warm air rises.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-02-18 00:19:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-02-17 21:32:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've been hiking in the desert for two days...
^^^^^^^^^
yesterday, @ 10,000' above you, i flushed the toilet
my bad
Submitted by sick.little.weasel (user info) at 2008-02-17 23:57:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That was pretty damn funny. I think it is funnier if you are married and your wife has told you to get your own damn (something) before.
By the way Rob, I have heard that you do some artistry for graphic novels or something similar. Is this true?
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-02-17 23:29:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
rob!
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-02-17 23:15:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hmm...
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2008-02-17 23:08:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Let's pretend that Rob Berg was drunk and passed out on the tracks. He awakens to a rumbling noise and a loud blast of a horn. He is only able to crawl half off the tracks before being ran the fuck over by a Canadian Pacific diesel.
His final moments on earth will be in screaming out for help in extreme pain while he bleeds to death. That rules.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-02-17 22:25:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
*This joke is based off an existing one and while the set-up and various components have been re-written by the author, the punchline and premise has remained the same.
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At least I don't steal stuff. And if I did, I wouldn't say that I did. You phailed.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2008-02-17 22:22:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i chuckled
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-02-17 22:12:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Robbie, some folks on Uber have no sense of humor. Most of them have no sense at all.
I thought it was very funny...
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-02-17 21:44:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2008-02-17 21:36:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
meh
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-02-17 21:35:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-02-17 21:28:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i feel gypped
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2008-02-17 21:35:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i dont understand: how does this relate to ubersite?
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-02-17 21:34:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Through my boots.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-02-17 21:32:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-02-17 21:31:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I've been hiking in the desert for two days and I am so glad I don't know what's going on here.
My first thought was this was a gay singles ad.
Also, I can smell my feet.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-02-17 21:31:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I giggled.
I think that this kind of joke is fun to share.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-02-17 21:28:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i feel gypped