(REPOST#2) A Sadistic fuck( warning Long,but good. Sorry guys) (628 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.95 on 56 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ? (View user info) at 2008-02-18 23:37:31 EST
"A Sadistic fuck"
That was what Jon was.
He loved the power. The power of hurting and controlling someone's life. He at first when he was young started to torture his dog.
He used to play with the puppy. But he played a little rough. He would throw the puppy up against his couch and spin it around until it puked. He would kick the dog and have mock lynchings.
His eyes would bulge and his adrenaline would pump as the dog gasped for air. Then he would release. He would always release right before the dog was at a loss for breath.
He would look into its doe eyes and smile. He felt like god at these points in his life and he loved the power that this gave him..
He would bully, and beat up his friends in the neighborhood. He was such a mean child that the kids would avoid him. Any friend he did have was beaten, broken, and jaded by his words.
He loved to torture and beat those that were around. He had gotten a gun and started to kill birds. He had also sawed his neighbor's cat in half. It was gruesome and bloody. It frightened him as the cat screeched and its hair flew all around the floor. He knew that he would get in trouble for this so he tried to bury it.
He was found out. His parents sent him to see a psychiatrist and a couple therapists to find out what was wrong with the boy. The boy explained he liked the power. He had the power to control and take away someone's or something's life.
He was prescribed and put on pills from age 12 all up through college. He graduated and became a Lawyer. After serving a couple years he became a Judge. In the poorest part of the town.
This town was his to mold and bend. He decided who lived or died. How many years, to how much money was his to decide. His corruption and his power had taken him to wealth. Life isn't a fairy tale and those that are evil don't perish. Those that are evil usually win.
---
She looked up from the back of the court with her hand clenched. Her hair was matted and disheveled. She had been crying for days and biting her fingernails for the sentencing of her son.
Her eyes were covered with black mascara that had run down her face in direct lines. She looked like she had painted her face for Halloween,
She was poor.
Dirt poor.
Those who saw her could tell by the embedded stench of cigarettes in her clothes and her hair. She had also worn clothes she had gotten from the good will on sale.
She had always been weak. Too weak to get through school with an alcoholic rapist father who had her so well trained that she wouldn't go to school for weeks because of the beatings she would take.
He would laugh as he cackled and snorted out words in the foulest and most impure way.
"You don't need to go to school you bitch, There's no need for a whore like you!"
She would cry in those days as he would beat her and molest her while she was young. She would look around the town for someone to try and save her. No one ever did.
People in the town knew she was getting beat, they could see the welts and discoloration on her face.
She had been told she was ugly and disgusting her entire being. Her mother knew about everything but could do nothing. She had raised her daughter the way a "rose" of the south in those days were raised.
She was weak, dumb, and accommodating. Every time he hit her, she felt in her heart that it was deserved. Every time he ravished her body she would cry, but knew that this was her lot in life.
Her mother would ignore it. Better it her daughter than her. This was the way the south was and she understood that this was her lot in life. She hadn't gone to school past the 6th grade.
The lady had been pretty once, but the beating's she had taken over the years and also how she started to usurious life style of alcohol to dull the pain and despair that was her life.
She got married at age 15 to another alcoholic who beat her worse than her father ever could of dreamed of. She had a child at age 17 and tried to raise him through all of this.
She would collect cans, and put her soul and heart into this son of hers. He was her gem. She made sure he went to school, and learned how to read and write even though she couldn't. Her motherly skills were immaculate and somehow they survived.
Her son Jacob was a good kid. Weak and meager like her mother but trustworthy and true. He just wanted to fit in with a group. He was poor and the only ones that would have him were the Jasper boys. They were known for there lowlife dealings.
They had stolen a car, and also crashed this car into a mini-van on the freeway. Two of the passengers died.
Jacob had been with them when they stole the car. He didn't even realize what was going on. They were just supposed to "borrow" Jimmie Dean's dad's car. They knew him from school.
When they crashed and killed two passengers the prosecuting attorney charged them with grand theft auto, and vehicular man slaughter, also to get a for sure charge "Attempting to flee from a police office"r.
The death of the passengers was debated and they decided to charge them as adults. Jacob was only 15. His life could be over.
That's why they saw this middle aged broken woman forgotten by America sitting there in the room crying dabbing each tear from her cheek with such weakness and strength it was astonishing.
"Have you reached the verdict?'
--
"Judge Jon Anthony Taylor presiding"
The judge had gotten his verdict. He saw the weak people in front of him. All of them boys ranging from age 15-18 in age.
They didn't mean to do what they did. He could tell. Some of they're faces still had baby fat on them. One looking so young that he thought the kid must be 11 and not 15. He had heard the testimony from the public defender trying to get one of the boys, "Jacob Brooks" off.
He had read a letter written from the boy's mother detailing his great accolades in school and that he had at one time been on the honor roll. She told him her life story in the letter as well as how hard they had it,
The public defender wanted to try Jacob as a minor and try to exonerate him from all charges. He was just there trying to fit in. He really didn't know what was going on.
As the Judge thumbed through the paper he looked at the boy.
Youthful, stout, and a bit pudgy. Earnest and fair haired. He could tell the boy didn't do anything. The kid didn't have it in him.
But the Judge had the power.
He looked at the child's mother in the front crying, trying her earnest to give the lawyer they got from the court the pennies and dollars she clutched in her hand from working at the diner to try and get the lawyer to handle her trial.
She was a good person who had over come phenomenal odds.
What the Judge saw was weakness.
Weakness in her family and her background. She was trash. Her entire life was trash. She was a pathetic person born to the lower lot of society. No money, no class, and no pride. He saw the same weakness in her pathetic son.
He started to get the feeling he got when he killed that dog, when he had tortured that cat. He had the power to be God to these people today and he was to let them know that god was vengeful.
"The court finds Jacob Brooks Guilty"
The silence engulfed the courtroom. Even the Lawyer of the child was perturbed and taken aback by the glee and forcefulness of the decision. He didn't understand how the laws in Texas had gotten so strict.
He knew there would be no appeals. The family of the woman couldn't afford it. This judge had just destroyed what this woman had worked years to build. He had just destroyed her son.
There was a scream of pain heard in the courtroom. The mother started to cry and yell uncontrollably. The judge slammed the gavel.
Judge: "Order in the court, ORDER IN THE COURT!"
Judge: "Bailiff, will you please get that pathetic excuse for a mother out of my court"
She was hysterical; she didn't understand why her family had been destroyed. She lost it.
The judge had a smile on his face. The power he had just displayed on their lives had gotten him gitty, and gleeful. He was the God in this town. He had that same power. He knew that the child would be in jail for 25 to life. His life being over.
He did what he did because he loved the power. After all he was a sadistic fuck.
---
She sat there outside the courthouse even after it had closed. She had nowhere to go and also had no one else in her life.
She had lost her son. She had lost her son.
Her little cute, chubby, loveable wouldn't hurt a fly or person son to the system.
She cursed god in this moment. She never had before but this time she cursed him for having her live this life of pain that she had. She had given her soul to this child to have an ounce of good in a life that was covered with pain.
Her heart and her life were broken glass. The Judge might of well had taken a bat to her crystal heart and shattered it. The darkness engulfed her.
She was tired of being weak. She was tired of being beaten, and abused. She would have her vengeance.
She would have her vengeance.
She went to the local library and looked up with help of a friend the address of the judge. He lived in the rich part of North Texas. He commuted everyday.
She went into Wal-Mart and bought bullets for her Shotgun she had hidden in her Trailer. Even though her father beat her he did teach her how to shoot. To protect this "White Rose" from the dirty Mexicans and Minorities that were moving in.
She hopped on a bus with the money she had on a 2hr bus ride to North Texas.
She didn't know what she was going to do but she had to do something. Her mind raced as she slammed back a case of "Pabst Blue Ribbon".
Every taste and sip only seemed to engulf her more in her despair. She clutched a photo of her son in her hands and kissed it. She started to cry and weep for the end of her days.
She made it to the house. He lived alone with no family or kids. She saw him and her heart started to race and beat. Faster, and faster, then slower and stopped to a slow murmur.
It was 2am in the morning when she decided to go to the door. She knocked on the door with dread, pain, and fright in her face.
He opened the door to see a distraught woman in front of his door. He didn't really recognize her but he knew he had seen her before.
"Yes"
Boom!
He took a shotgun butt to his stomach. As pain seared through him he doubled back and fell onto the floor. He was an old man now at around age 57.
She swung the gun like a baseball bat and hit him in the face that knocked him out. He woke up to find himself in a chair tied up with a distraught and crazy woman drunk, and snorting lines coke off his mahogany coffee table.
She looked at him with wired crazy eyes, angry, lost and distraught eyes of pain and longing.
He asked who she was which got him a fist to his face.
She had put on her brass knuckles and was going to enjoy this. She had gone mad in the literal sense. Half crying, half mumbling, and part speaking in tongues.
She started to talk about her life to the Judge. About everything that had happened to her in detail. The first time she got raped by her father and also how he forced her to have a threesome with his buddy from work over a game of cards he lost.
He talked about how her father used her to settle his debts with card games and poker. She was towed around like a goat while they had they're way with her. She had ended up fucking poor men, cops, ditch diggers and strip club owners.
She told him about after he had made her fuck them he would come down and beat her with a bull whip for being a whore. In his drunken crazy state he would beat her until he passed out or until she did. Then he would have her way with her bloodied body.
She told of how her husband beat her so much her pretty face and cheekbone was shattered by a fist he had given her for not coming home on time. He told her of how she was powerless and everyone she knew was sadistic.
He sat there with his head down and mouth shut. He had been the person in the lives of others that had done the same thing to them. He had beaten and tortured his first wife. When she complained to authorities he had her locked up and beaten in jail on bogus charges.
She looked at him and realized she had gone too far. She had gone to the Abyss. She looked at the picture in her hand of her nice, little son and decided to be the sadistic one.
She beat the Judge with her brass knuckles until his face was unrecognizable. She kept him alive and cut off his finger with a butcher knife. He would yelp and scream. After being in it for a while she began to enjoy it.
The power.
She had never had it before and the feeling of it was like giving someone ecstasy. Her painful life was being taken out on this man. She hit him again and yelled about how she had nothing to live for. She made him beg her to stop and then she would start again with the torture.
Then when all was said and done she grabbed her shotgun and blew a whole through his stomach. Then doubled back and put the shotgun to his face and blew it off its limp, old body.
The blood sprayed back and covered her face and the wall. She wiped it off on the blanket that was on the pillow. She looked at the pillow and wandered why she hadn't been given such a privialaged life
She sat there and grabbed the brandy from his cabinet and sat there and had a drink for her son and for her mother.
With a tear in her eye she said out loud to no one in particular.
"We aren't victims anymore"
She sat there and cried as she reached over to the cabinet and took over 48 pills of aspirin and drank half the bottle of Brandy.
She was finally free. She was finally at peace.
She thought about her son and cursed that man and those that wronged her.
Her only regret was that she had become a "Sadistic fuck" she cringed and then died.
----
The cops looked around the place and some of them puked as they saw what had happened to the main judge of the Texas district court. They all couldn't believe that the mother of the child could have gone this crazy.
He was unrecognizable. They had a parade for him and the media dubbed the killing quote.
"One of the most sadistic killings ever known in this county. The man was tortured and beat for hours before being shot."
The mother's body got dumped in a morgue with no one at her funeral. Her son wasn't even allowed to attend. The judge was hailed as a hero and was given a presidential burial with people crying in the streets.
They all hailed how great of a man he was and also how the wish a person of his character and standing would hopefully someday live again.
The media is Sadistic as well.
User Reviews
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-02-20 15:35:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-02-20 13:52:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Ever seen "American Graffiti" or great films like "The graduate" or "American Pie" people come from all walks of backgrounds to write. Us Americans have our own language that is more "Blunt" and forward than you Nancy, panty waisted style.
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First of all, fuck you.
Second, you eat your own shit, asshole.
Third, since when is American Pie a "great film"? All it's about is some low-class humour and hot women.
Fourth, "blunt"? Blunt writing can be good. This isn't "blunt", it's written by a three-year-old's grammar and spelling style. You capitalize words in the middle of sentences and have improper paragraphs and have incorrect punctuation. There is no "American style" or "modern style", there's one universally accepted rule on grammar and paragraphs, and the national differences are very small and insignificant, the only real deviants are people like you, who try to hide the fact that they suck by saying that they are being "modern" or "gritty" or "blunt".
Fifth, fuck you.
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2008-02-20 13:20:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-02-19 01:15:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
wow, some of these assholes must really hate you
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I don't hate him or anybody else. I hate shitty writing that makes me wish I didn't understand English. He posts this drivel and then says "What do you guys think?" When he receives some very well-deserved negative comments, he gets all pissy about it and starts throwing insults at the reviewers. This guy writes like he was BORN on the short bus. And, based on your comment, I think you might be driving that same tardtransport.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-02-19 16:08:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-02-18 23:42:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
even worse
For the love of God, for your next birthday, please ask for a fucking DICTIONARY.
Electro was a better speller and used better grammar than you do, you fucking retard.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-02-19 16:01:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
holy fucking hell. there's so much wrong with this that, although the story itself had some potential, it's been buried in stinky corn flecked shit.
I'll rape a sentence for you just for example:
"She told him about after he had made her fuck them he would come down and beat her with a bull whip for being a whore. "
I assume you might have been trying to make this a readable sentence. you could edit it so that it is understandable simply enough.
"She told him how, after she was forced to fuck his friends, he would come down and beat her with a bull whip for being a whore."
then the following sentence? yeah, that one's shit too:
"In his drunken crazy state he would beat her until he passed out or until she did. Then he would have her way with her bloodied body."
first off, make one sentence of the two here so that it's not so fucking choppy and lame. second he can have her way with her after he's passed out? make sure your thoughts are concise and clear so your reader can grasp what you're after without having to bend thier mind around your warped perception.
"In fits of drunken rage he beat her until she passed out, violating her bloodied body before passing out himself."
there's so much more wrong with this is so many ways, word substitutions, horrible mispellings. blech.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-02-19 15:48:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Boy Wonder has spoken, fuckstick. Move along.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2008-02-19 15:38:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
They were known for there lowlife dealings.
-----
Should be their.
He opened the door to see a distraught woman in front of his door. He didn't really recognize her but he knew he had seen her before.
"Yes"
Boom!
He took a shotgun butt to his stomach. As pain seared through him he doubled back and fell onto the floor. He was an old man now at around age 57.
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embarassing to read. You shove in that he's 57 out of nowhere.
The mother's body got dumped in a morgue with no one at her funeral. Her son wasn't even allowed to attend. The judge was hailed as a hero and was given a presidential burial with people crying in the streets.
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Presidential burial? Crying in the streets? Hero? Just for being murdered? Unrealistic.
You might be 23 and have the writing ability of a 4th-grader, but I'm 17 and there's no way to say this without sounding like a douchebag, but I outstrip you by miles in writing. You're an example of how grade inflation and a sense of entitlement is hurting our country and youth today. You graduated high school in 2002?
This post was an embarassment and caused nothing but cringes in my for how bad it was.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-02-19 14:51:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-02-19 00:15:42 CST (#)
Ranking: 1
wow, some of these assholes must really hate you
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-02-19 13:34:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
dude all that effort in your review and not one zinger of note.
:(
poor you. you really, really, try and you still suck.
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2008-02-19 12:24:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
For steak's review.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-02-19 12:08:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
jesus
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-02-19 12:04:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I had a hard time getting through this.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-02-19 11:32:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
THIS WAS A GREAT STORY
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-02-19 11:31:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I THOUGHT UBERSITE WOULD NEVER BE THE SAME ONCE ELECTRO LEFT, BUT I REALIZE I WAS JUST BEING BUYIST
THANK YOU PERKMAN; THANK YOU FOR FILLING THAT VOID IN MY LIFE
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2008-02-19 08:57:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2008-02-19 08:56:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Would you like to know this difference between this post http://www.ubersite.com/m/70894 and this one you just posted?
You don't have autism.
The fact that you would even consider this piece of shit "good" strips you of all credibility as a literary critic.
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2008-02-19 04:27:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
it's currently a toss up between you, that bald emo fag-jester and rayg for the biggest useless cunt on this website.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-02-19 02:46:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-02-19 02:08:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ilikesteak- I'll give you that. I think some of my stories are interesting but I don't put forth effort. I usually write all of these stories in about under 30mins. I usually just write this nonstop to 1 or 2 songs and just let it rip.
I like to write. I may not convey it the best but my writing is more for screenplays I'm not writing novels. But I likesteak I like what you said.
So how bad was this story?
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Perky, I write most of mine in under ten, the bulk of which is typing, with no music in the background. Music will only enhance your story if others are hearing it, and since it takes a lot longer for you to write it than it takes me to read it, I'll usually skip posting the music to listen to while you read.
I've seen screenplays, and I've seen novels. This was neither. You really do need to work on the basics. You need to write how you think, and wether you know it or not, you think with punctuation. Sentances just don't just keep going on forever. You stop when you speak for the puropse of accentuation, in order to better convey the message.
The story itself wasn't bad, not a new concept by any means, but not bad none the less. You butchered this with the delivery, and if you look at it with any level of intelligent reasoning, you'll see way too many loopholes in this.
I'll give you an example.
"She sat there and cried as she reached over to the cabinet and took over 48 pills of aspirin and drank half the bottle of Brandy."
Brandy is not to have a capitol letter. Aspirin and brandy will not kill you, although it is not advised. Everybody knows Aspirin is in pill form, as that's how it's been since it first existed in commercial form, so there's no need for you to tell us that it's a pill. Cabinets are higher up than the average person sitting on the floor can reach. We don't need an exact number of pills, just some common denomination or portion of the bottle. If you're going to mention an exact number, have that be the specific number taken, or it'll sound like you're a tard trying to write. If she was going to kill herself, while women aren't likely to use direct methods of suicide, this scenario would suggest that, upon her horrific realisation of the abuse of "power", she would turn the gun on herself, still riding that power trip. You don't pass out from a half bottle of brandy, let alone die from it, even with her stress level being as high as it would be. Her action was initially stated as sitting, and to add an action, you need to break the current action, by putting in some punctuation, letting the reader know that a new action is taking place. I don't think you'd dot the letter "i" if the computer didn't do it for you. Seriously, work on the basics.
I just raped that sentance, and I could do the same thing to every other one on this post to some degree. I could have gone on, but I've got cookies to eat.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-02-19 02:41:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-02-19 02:37:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i was actually going to tell him the correct spelling is biast.
---
That is because you are a bad, bad sammich.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-02-19 02:41:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-02-19 02:37:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i was actually going to tell him the correct spelling is biast.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-02-19 02:35:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Here is a +2 because I'm not buyist.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-02-19 02:33:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
holy shit, you're getting lectured on standards by ilikesteak.
this should tell you something perkman.
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-02-19 02:08:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ilikesteak- I'll give you that. I think some of my stories are interesting but I don't put forth effort. I usually write all of these stories in about under 30mins. I usually just write this nonstop to 1 or 2 songs and just let it rip.
I like to write. I may not convey it the best but my writing is more for screenplays I'm not writing novels. But I likesteak I like what you said.
So how bad was this story?
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-02-19 02:02:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You can't use your age as an excuse for sucking perky. There are people on this site who are both younger than you, and better writers than you. You're mistaking coherence for acceptability.
Quit skipping English class. If you weren't skipping it, I'd either get a tutor, or at least open the book. It isn't about your spelling, or grammar, or sentence structure, or even storyline cohesion, all of which are consistently poor in your posts. You just lack talent. It can't hurt to read some of the classics, and see how people with real talent do it. Maybe you'll learn from them.
Honestly perky I'd put that dream on the back burner for a while. You aren't getting better at this. At best, this is typing practice for you, and you're just being childish about it. At least maintain some standards.
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-02-19 01:27:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks wildman. I think some of these people are so untalented that I may not write the best but my stories are at least interesting. They can write all they want and talk about grammer but they couldn't write a story to save their talentless lives.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-02-19 01:15:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
wow, some of these assholes must really hate you
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2008-02-19 00:47:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-02-18 23:14:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
God damn spell check. I'm going to repost this
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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! This isn't about spell check, it's about suck check. The only thing that's going to improve your writing is if you never, ever, do it again.
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2008-02-19 00:44:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-02-19 00:23:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah Quint I'm insecure.
Why don't you go and make some tired unfunny joke about methods mom. That's a riot!
Why don't you get your tongue out of methods asshole.
--
How can I put my tongue in my own asshole?
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-02-19 00:32:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
sick weasel.
If this is shitty what is shitty about it. You idiot's that rate this because you think I'm a certain way are retarded. You have never met me in person. So really? look at the work tool.
Submitted by sick.little.weasel (user info) at 2008-02-19 00:29:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This guy really is a prick. Your writing sucks. Don't get defensive. usually when you are the only one who thinks it is good....it sucks. Stopped writing. People will like you better. I gurantee that if you never post here again, we will like you better.
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-02-19 00:23:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah Quint I'm insecure.
Why don't you go and make some tired unfunny joke about methods mom. That's a riot!
Why don't you get your tongue out of methods asshole.
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2008-02-19 00:21:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Read my post! Please! REPOST! Please read my post! Come on guys! Somebody rate this! Please!
Insecure fuck.
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-02-19 00:20:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah Jonny-X its so doubtful that a kid could go to college and intern and also try to write. Holy shit why would the kid do that?
Funny part I really don't care. Someone read the damn story.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2008-02-19 00:16:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Yes Apollo I suck at life. But I have my life a head of me.
----
THAT IS VERY DOUBTFUL, PERKMAN
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-19 00:13:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Doubtful.
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-02-19 00:12:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This could get heated.
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-02-19 00:08:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow Apollo it's hilarious that I'm 23 and I speak and dress like people in my age during leisure hours. Wow! You're so much better than me. With your fat head and even fatter ass.
I'm 23 on this site writing stuff because I like to film. Yes I actually film and do things in that nature and in that field. I write screenplay/stories for idea's I want to try. So the dialogue even though it isn't the queen's English I use the dialogue of people in my culture and my socio economic status to write about stories.
I like to write within my generation. I'm a young kid. I'm about to graduate college in what? 2 semesters. I work and I am the head of Habitat for Humanity for my college, International Business, Film Club and also I'm on the student Senate of a good university. I'm about to transfer to UCLA, U of Miami, Boston College or Duke to finish up my last year. I interned at some pretty big known jobs.
I live the life of a drunken frat boy at time, an awesome drinking buddy baseball player and I come from a Family that is full of Doctors, Lawyers and engineers. I know I'm fucking up because I come here and write and vent some things.
Really? I'm moving up while your life is stagnant. By looking at you, you probably married the first piggy that would touch your fucking huge head. She probably isn't cute. In fact I know she's not cute I have seen your photo's. You go on this site and pass judgment on people's stories or posts not quite understanding why some writers write.
I want to write and do storyboard commercials. The difference is I already do this. Yeah it's low and yes it is entry level shit and small things for companies but I do this. While going to college and trying to get a very good degree with a major in Biology and a Minor in Philosophy to either go to medical school or law school.
My dream is to be a screen writer or to write shorts or movies. That's my dream so I come here and I write something's I think that are interesting. I know my work isn't the best. I know I'm not a professional but I know that I'm trying.
You have to crawl before you can walk, you fat fuck. Right now I'm crawling. In fact I'm not even there yet. I come to uber to let out my artistic side. Though harsh the criticism I like it because if I can take a lot of assholes telling me my shit sucks then if I ever got the opportunity to meet a studio head I will be able to take it.
I come here to write better. Some posts I write convey my emotions well but not eloquent. I write in the manner of my generation because I would love to make shorts, or screenplays based in my world with my experiences.
Ever seen "American Graffiti" or great films like "The graduate" or "American Pie" people come from all walks of backgrounds to write. Us Americans have our own language that is more "Blunt" and forward than you Nancy, panty waisted style.
Yes Apollo I suck at life. But I have my life a head of me.
By seeing your lame pictures, your fat head, and also your fat pathetic body and also your insistence of actually going to Ubercons and being a miserable cunt there I have come to denote that your life is already way behind you. So go prod at my "work" and call it shit. It is shit but I'm going to keep writing and getting better.
Your life already sucks. You married some pasty fat girl that is probably ugly as sin seeing the way you look. You're on uber like its some cool hangout spot. I'm here to write. Your here for friends, you sad pathetic fuck. Throwing out shootouts to people anywhere close to you so you can grab a pint.
Are you that lonely? It would behoove you Apollo to shut your fat head up. Or else write. Like I do or even contribute something. You claimed Jaypig was a loser. You were at the same place and did the same thing the pig did.
You're life sucks Apollo. So now go and try and live vicariously through some pansy soccer player. While I actually play against the people you wish you could meet.
You suck football head.
God you suck, Fatty.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-18 23:50:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm 22, and I don't talk like a retard having an epileptic fit. There's nothing wrong with being eloquent or using 'big words' in everyday conversation. You should look into it; it might help you come across as less of a twat, though I doubt it.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-02-18 23:49:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
LOL
23
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-02-18 23:48:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
23
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-18 23:47:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-02-19 04:46:29 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah I know my langauge isn't super eloquent. But I write these more like screen plays and it's always placed in present time. So I want it to up to pace with the way people of my age and generation talk. I'm not going to use huge words. I know it would behoove me on uber to do so,but I think my usurious use of blunt words works best for my work.
===========
How old are you?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-02-18 23:47:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"A Sadistic fuck"
That was what Jon was.
it was ruined by this far.
seriously.
just die.
you add absolutely no worth to the earth. you are a disgraceful use of resources, a pathetic, shriveled genetic back alley that in leaner times would have died in it's infancy.
in short, you are a complete and utter, total, cunt.
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-02-18 23:46:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah I know my langauge isn't super eloquent. But I write these more like screen plays and it's always placed in present time. So I want it to up to pace with the way people of my age and generation talk. I'm not going to use huge words. I know it would behoove me on uber to do so,but I think my usurious use of blunt words works best for my work.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-02-18 23:45:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
sorry perk it's just really not very good. maybe if you took more time. I don't know. That may not help.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-02-18 23:44:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
IT'S FUCKING 'YOUR' YOU COMPLETE AND UTTER FUCKWIT
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-02-18 23:44:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
you really don't have a way with language.
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-02-18 23:43:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Apollo you big headed fat fuck. Why don't you write something? Write some of you're trash so that we can all parade and call it garbage.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-02-18 23:43:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-02-18 22:19:14 CST (#)
Ranking: -2
you are a sadistic fuck.
dude PLEASE. ENOUGH. PLEEEEEEEAASE!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-02-18 23:42:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
even worse
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-02-18 23:41:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well people rate this one!! It's a way better read. Got rid of errors.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-18 23:40:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Duly rated. Kindly fuck off.
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-02-18 23:40:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Rate this one. I think it's fucking good. Took me only 45 mins to write this. Enjoy!!
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-02-18 23:38:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Really guys the other one's grammer was just horrible. Hope this one is readable.
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-02-18 23:38:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Rate this one!!!yeah
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-02-18 23:38:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Rate this one!!!!
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-02-18 23:37:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
rate this one.