Ubertine's 08: All about the lovin with gloves (925 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.72 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Monkeyswithguns (View user info) at 2008-02-19 19:58:14 EST
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luvluvluvluvluvluvluvluvluvluv
lovelovelovelovelovelovelove
luvluvluvluvluvluvluvluv
iheartyouiheartyou
wuvwuvwuvwuvwuv
luvuluvu
hate
sx
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I love you with all my gloved fingers caressing your deepest orifices, plunging headlong into gaping vaginal tunnels, destined for an eternity of slick wetness.
My love for you will make fetish pornstars blush and turn their heads, because the world just doesn't "get" us, but we love each other more in our outcasted hermitage in the caves where we'll be poked with sticks, and I can poke you with my penis, hopefully 3 times a week, except for the 3rd day every other month, and 2 weeks at the end of June, because I'll be cheating on you then even though I'll tell you I'm visiting my sick aunt in Miami and I'll be certain to bring you back a present.
It will be VD in the form of heart-shaped syphillis and you'll know my love is true when you feel the burning, painful sensation of a chancre on your rectum, because I damn near killed em with penisillin.
I'll tell you that you caught it from that toilet seat at the second rate theme park where you lost your finger in a horrible ferris wheel accident.
I'll say I warned you not to use it, and you'll say "But I had diahhreah from the chili dog, and I've lost all bowel control from the rough butt lovin!"
I'll only touch you when I wear latex gloves, because by this point I'll have spent our last few measly dollars on actual penicillin, and I'll give you an injection of anti-freeze because you're so stupid, and you actually believe that I loved you.
You'll die, and then I'll really love you, with gloves of course, at the funeral, and your mother will become furious, but she'll soon get over it, and everyone in the cemetary will have a gangbang with your mother and grandmother and your great aunt Linda at the center, but I'll be too busy loving you.....with my gloved hands and leather sheathed penis.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/115024
Send me some money for the penicillin I'll need from my prediliction for cold clammy prostitute vaginas. Seriously, it's starting to burn "down there."
I don' need no stinking picture, ese'.
User Reviews
Submitted by LegoSockPuppet (user info) at 2008-03-03 14:39:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Um . . . ok
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-02-22 16:16:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Feel my glove
God above
There's my love
On the glove
On the glove
There's my love
God above
Smell the glove
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-02-21 16:29:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-02-20 19:56:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
John McCain was schtupping a lobbyist during his 2000 run for President!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
President Obama baby!
+2s all around!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In related news, Bill Clinton urges no "rush to judgment."
This sucked, btw.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-02-20 17:30:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yay mwg!
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-02-20 14:50:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hells, yeah.
Weirdo.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-02-20 11:34:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i liked this because it reminded me of this post i did: http://www.ubersite.com/m/110431
well mostly just the block of loves reminded me of my block of stab
Submitted by loopdeloo (user info) at 2008-02-20 09:49:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-02-20 09:08:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-02-19 19:25:16 CST (#)
Ranking: 0
Chairman Meow just pooped a plopper bigger than his head. I must say that I'm quite impressed, but at the same time bewildered.
--------------------------
Your cat is really named Chairman Meow?!?
THAT alone is worth a +2...hahahahahahahahaha....
Oh, and this post was funny, too.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-02-20 08:23:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2008-02-20 06:57:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
...........lovelovelove....... lovelovelove
........lovelovelovelove ..lovelovelovelove
.......lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
....lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
....lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
......glovegloveglovegloveglovegloveglove
........luvluvluvluvluvluvluvluvluvluvluvluv
...........lovelovelovelovelovelovelove
...............luvluvluvluvluvluvluvluv
.................iheartyouiheartyou
...................vwuvwuvwuvwuv
......................luvuluvuluvu
...........................hate
.............................sx
Text automatically goes to the left on this site... so you'd have to do it like this.
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So it's just one letter to the right on everything? Thanks for the help.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-02-20 07:29:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BEST POST ON UBER!
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2008-02-20 06:57:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
...........lovelovelove....... lovelovelove
........lovelovelovelove ..lovelovelovelove
.......lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
....lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
....lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove
......glovegloveglovegloveglovegloveglove
........luvluvluvluvluvluvluvluvluvluvluvluv
...........lovelovelovelovelovelovelove
...............luvluvluvluvluvluvluvluv
.................iheartyouiheartyou
...................vwuvwuvwuvwuv
......................luvuluvuluvu
...........................hate
.............................sx
Text automatically goes to the left on this site... so you'd have to do it like this.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2008-02-20 06:23:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Creepy...
Just the way I like it.
Um, are you drunk?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-20 06:00:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I've read worse.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-02-19 23:39:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 for the sheer WTF factor...
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-02-19 22:05:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
http://www.condomdepot.com
Do it.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-19 21:13:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Mad.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-02-19 21:12:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You betta check yo self fo you wreck yo self
Cause I'm bad for your health
I come real stealth
Droppin bombs on ya moms, kill car alarms
Do without one mother, nigga wit yo Alpine
Sold it for six-o, always let tricks know
And friends know, we got that indo
Yo I'm not a sucka, sittin in A House of Pain
And no I'm not the butler,
I'll cut ya
Head-butt ya, you say you can't touch this
And I wouldn't touch ya, punk motherfucker
Here to let you know boy, oh boy
I make dough, but don't call me Dough-Boy
This ain't no fuckin picture
A guy or bitch-a, my nigga get wit ya
And hit ya, makin they yack to the neck
So you better run a check
[CHORUS]
Tricks wanna step to Cube and then they get played
Cause they bitch may pullin out a switchblade
That's kinda trifle, cause that's a knife-o AK-47, assault rifle
Hold the fifty, I'm nifty now, [Watch out pal]
I hate motherfuckers claimin that they foldin bank
But steady talkin shit in the holdin tank
First you wanna step to me,
now your ass screamin for the deputy,
They send you to Charlie-Baker-Denver row,
now the runnin up in ya slow
You're God, used to be the Don Juan,
now your name is just.....Twan
switch it, snap it, rollin your eyes and neck,
you better run a check
[CHORUS]
Big dicks in ya ass is bad for your health
If you're foul,
you better run a make on that license plate,
you coulda had a V8
Instead of a three-eight slug to ya cranium
I got six and I'm aimin em
Will I bus or keep you guessin
Cause fuck you and that shit ya stressin
Bitch, get off the wood, you no good
There goes the neighborhood hooker
Go ahead and keep your drawers
givin up the claps and who needs applause at a
time like this, pop ya coochie and ya dead
Bitch is a Miami Hurricane head
Sprung, niggas call her lips and lungs
Nappy dugout, get the fuck out
Cause women like you gets no respect
Bitch, you better run a check
[CHORUS]
Cause bitches like you is bad for my health
Cause the Lench Mob is bad for ya health
Nine-trey, remix, old school tip, yeah
It's like a jungle sometimes it makes me wonder how I keep from goin under
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-02-19 20:25:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Chairman Meow just pooped a plopper bigger than his head. I must say that I'm quite impressed, but at the same time bewildered.
Submitted by Falafel (user info) at 2008-02-19 20:22:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Jesus christ.. I just don't know what to make of this.
I'm going to go cleanse my occipital lobe now.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2008-02-19 20:06:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
LOVE'S ON BITCHES!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-02-19 20:03:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You freak! And I like the half a heart. :)
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-02-19 19:59:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ahh shit. The middle part was made out to be a heart, but for some reason it didn't turn out that way when I posted it.
What the fuck man?