Ubertines '08: "My Little Buttercup" (864 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.78 on 52 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (View user info) at 2008-02-21 09:33:19 EST
I've been with her for a few years now, loving the nights and sleeping, for the most part, through the days while she works. I've got a figure she loves and the right attitude to boot; I'm tall and have curves in all the right places; I'm vibrant when it counts and have a very open mind when it comes to new experiences. I like to think that I'm an expert when it comes to pleasing my lady.
Some would say we have a very one way relationship, but I wouldn't. We are close and loving, something which others, especially men, will never have, not in the same way. Sure, occasionally I feel a little run-down and this can frustrate my lover, but these spells never last for long and I'm usually in top condition the same night, or at the very latest the next morning. I can't think of a single time when I haven't been able to lavish my lady with the orgasms she deserves.
I remember the day we met, four years ago now, like it was only yesterday. It was a sultry August evening in a seedy downtown establishment. We were in the same aisle, not really noticing each other until you looked over and caught sight of me. You slowly walked over with a smile playing across your lips and said,
"Care to come home with me?"
I said nothing, just held your hand and left the shop with you. That night was the most passionate of my life, you held me close and I responded as only I knew how. When you awoke in the morning, a harsh 7 AM, you looked over at me and smiled.
"I can't wait to get back home to you, Buttercup."
I was touched and flattered that you'd already decided upon an affectionate name for me. From that point we never looked back and have enjoyed nightly passions and daytime longing for the thrill of contact. I get so dreadfully lonely on my own and I know you do too.
But what's that? The key in the lock? You've been working late tonight so I know you'll come straight to me. Sure enough you're up the stairs, practically sprinting with your eagerness. You burst through the door and flop down on the bed beside me.
Reaching over, you twist my base and say,
"It's been a long day my little Buttercup, I hope you've plenty of power left."
The night is young and I anticipate every moment of it.
User Reviews
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-23 04:52:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-02-22 21:17:53 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
Needs more blown fuse/power surge and vaginal electrocution.
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Yeah I thought about that, but I kind of didn't want to come across as an absolute freak this round.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-02-22 16:17:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Needs more blown fuse/power surge and vaginal electrocution.
Submitted by TechnoRatty (user info) at 2008-02-21 13:37:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-02-21 12:55:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh and if calling me stupid is all you got, cheap shot, then you are only making yourself look lame.
orphelia = whore = stupid = lowest form of unimaginative wit.
Why not go all the way and blame pregnancy hormones!
;)
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Ah, didn't know ye were knocked up!! CONGRATULATIONS honey!!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-02-21 13:33:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-02-21 12:55:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh and if calling me stupid is all you got, cheap shot, then you are only making yourself look lame.
orphelia = whore = stupid = lowest form of unimaginative wit.
Why not go all the way and blame pregnancy hormones!
;)
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-02-21 12:52:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-02-21 12:29:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nice work, not sure I'm gonna be able to get mine done.
Submitted by TechnoRatty (user info) at 2008-02-21 12:27:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahhh
I (mostly) still prefer the real thing, as long as he bothers to brush his teeth, because thats really romantic
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-02-21 12:06:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh my...
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-21 11:59:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-02-21 16:56:43 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hurty your my hero. Please forgive my ignorance, but....who?
Should I be worried about what you do to stay on Shlongys pay roll?
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John Holmes: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Holmes_%28actor%29
Shlongy: I help him cheat at golf. Of late his arthritic old arms have become too brittle to swing a club and I play off a handicap of 7 meaning I'm excellent. He appreciates it a fair bit as he's yet to lose face in the exclusive social circuit he inhabits.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-02-21 11:56:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hurty your my hero. Please forgive my ignorance, but....who?
Should I be worried about what you do to stay on Shlongys pay roll?
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-21 11:56:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-02-21 16:47:51 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
quite right old boy i just don't seem to have the effort in me but do instruct as i desperately want to learn the ways of the masters
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Masters? On Uber? Surely you jest?
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-21 11:50:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-02-21 16:46:44 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hurty, I was trying to paint the hollywood picture of seedy sexual decite.
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I know, but surely you'd like something a little... better. That's why I've re-considered sending you my 'Special' tapes and am instead sending you copies of everything that John Holmes ever did.
Submitted by DreamWeaver (user info) at 2008-02-21 11:48:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-21 16:42:32 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DreamWeaver (user info) at 2008-02-21 11:37:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I always find orphelias comments insightful and interesting.
She doesn't circle jerk her views only enhance the post.
:)
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*starts gurning and slapping chin*
NUUUURRRRRRRRR NURRRRRRRRRRRR SPAKKA!
We can all see your email address in your alter's userinfo, Pheely.
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Way to make yourself look a dick, Berty. EVERYONE knows it is me, I was making a joke. It is on such a basic level though, I think it went way over your pretty genius head.
:)
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-02-21 11:47:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
quite right old boy i just don't seem to have the effort in me but do instruct as i desperately want to learn the ways of the masters
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-02-21 11:46:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hurty, I was trying to paint the hollywood picture of seedy sexual decite.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-21 11:27:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If God had meant for felines to go to sea He'd have given them flippers. What are you going to do if the kitten jumps/falls overboard?
You will have to tie a string between its flea collar and the mask. You'll also have to buy 4 tiny little water wings.
____
Berty they have had cats onboard ships since man started going to sea. you could argue that man wasn't supposed to go to sea, because we don't have flippers. If I thought for a second you had ever been sailing, let alone whitnessed a cat on a yacht, I would put more stock in what your saying. I have lived before on a yacht with a cat and it was the damn happiest cat I have ever seen. You always leave a covered fender over the side incase it falls in when your not there and if it goes over when your sailing, it's the same problem as when a human goes over. Cats swim really quite well.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-02-21 11:46:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
jesus look how that rating fell so precipitously after a single begative rating whatever could be the cause oh i see its just that everyone prior has rated an average of 27.6 times let me bump you back up to worth reading my sweet little nessie i don't mind at all if you don't
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-21 11:45:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-02-21 16:44:03 GMT (#)
Ranking: -2
how clever and well written good show hurty old chump
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It's better than anything you've ever contributed. Apart from that Sicosemen post, that was hilarious.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-02-21 11:44:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
how clever and well written good show hurty old chump
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-21 11:42:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DreamWeaver (user info) at 2008-02-21 11:37:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I always find orphelias comments insightful and interesting.
She doesn't circle jerk her views only enhance the post.
:)
-------------------------------------
*starts gurning and slapping chin*
NUUUURRRRRRRRR NURRRRRRRRRRRR SPAKKA!
We can all see your email address in your alter's userinfo, Pheely.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-21 11:40:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-02-21 16:32:50 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is very clever. Well done. No more reviews though I will only be accused of circle jerking by scourge and forthewin. AS I AM THE ONLY ONE TO DO IT, EVER. Oh, bollocks.
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But I haven't cum yet!
Submitted by DreamWeaver (user info) at 2008-02-21 11:37:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I always find orphelias comments insightful and interesting.
She doesn't circle jerk her views only enhance the post.
:)
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-02-21 11:35:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I always felt a little uncomfortable jerking in a circle. Damn my boarding school ways
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-02-21 11:32:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is very clever. Well done. No more reviews though I will only be accused of circle jerking by scourge and forthewin. AS I AM THE ONLY ONE TO DO IT, EVER. Oh, bollocks.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-21 11:27:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If God had meant for felines to go to sea He'd have given them flippers. What are you going to do if the kitten jumps/falls overboard?
You will have to tie a string between its flea collar and the mask. You'll also have to buy 4 tiny little water wings.
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-02-21 11:24:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-02-21 11:21:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-02-21 14:40:24 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
BORING
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Agreed.
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Nice flip flop there, Orphelia!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-02-21 11:21:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-02-21 14:40:24 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
BORING
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Agreed.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-21 11:18:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-02-21 16:16:54 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hurty you've made me all fuzzy in my special place. I am currently on dry land in the boat so I can work on her. Will have a satilite link for when in middle of ocean though. Can't put things like VHS player on board, too bulky, space is the key on board. send me the tape anyway, I can check in to a cheap seedy hotel and raid the mini bar, whilst rolling around in nylon sheets.
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Not having a VCR is practically criminal. I'm disappointed. Why settle for a shitty hotel and nylon sheets? Don't you know that I'm bankrolled by Shlongy? The world could be your oyster, baby!
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-02-21 11:16:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hurty you've made me all fuzzy in my special place. I am currently on dry land in the boat so I can work on her. Will have a satilite link for when in middle of ocean though. Can't put things like VHS player on board, too bulky, space is the key on board. send me the tape anyway, I can check in to a cheap seedy hotel and raid the mini bar, whilst rolling around in nylon sheets.
Berty. My kitten is the most litter trained cat you will ever meet. never ever once and accident. He even managed to hold himself for 7 hours in a car journy, and waited until he could find a litter tray before having a pee. I want to train him to use the loo.
Apart from the cat bit, you pretty much nailed my life once i finnish the boat.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-21 11:12:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-02-21 11:07:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to live in Bertys world.
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You really don't. Better your 3 up 2 down complete with wife and life than this crazy shit.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-21 11:08:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-02-21 16:06:18 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-21 11:04:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-02-21 16:02:49 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
I need a vhs player, I can't watch any of my old movies now. sadly it would also help if I had a TV on here. I have decided I spend too much time outside working on this beautiful lump called home.
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How do you get the intertubes in the middle of the ocean?
Anyway, I have a spare VHS player so if at any point you sail up the Tyne, let me know and I'll chuck it aboard for you.
--
Probably with a 'Special' video of himself for you.
========
All my 'Special' videos are on MiniDV and I can't be fucked transferring them. LM I know you'll be disappointed but I do have a really old camcorder that shoots (heh) onto VHS. It is a hulking behemoth of a thing but for you, just for you, I'll record something 'Special'. What say you?
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-02-21 11:07:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to live in Bertys world.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-21 11:07:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Cats and boats don't mix. They shit everywhere and all those onboard sudder disease from hidden poo.
It'd be a good life though. No work. No council tax. Just lying around naked as a walrus, copulating and eating bacon all day long.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-02-21 11:06:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-21 11:04:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-02-21 16:02:49 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
I need a vhs player, I can't watch any of my old movies now. sadly it would also help if I had a TV on here. I have decided I spend too much time outside working on this beautiful lump called home.
==========
How do you get the intertubes in the middle of the ocean?
Anyway, I have a spare VHS player so if at any point you sail up the Tyne, let me know and I'll chuck it aboard for you.
--
Probably with a 'Special' video of himself for you.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-21 11:04:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-02-21 16:02:49 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
I need a vhs player, I can't watch any of my old movies now. sadly it would also help if I had a TV on here. I have decided I spend too much time outside working on this beautiful lump called home.
==========
How do you get the intertubes in the middle of the ocean?
Anyway, I have a spare VHS player so if at any point you sail up the Tyne, let me know and I'll chuck it aboard for you.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-02-21 11:03:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's rough Drogo
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-02-21 11:02:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I need a vhs player, I can't watch any of my old movies now. sadly it would also help if I had a TV on here. I have decided I spend too much time outside working on this beautiful lump called home.
Living on a yacht is great....well it will be when she is finnished. It will be great when I get to launch her, that is going to be the biggest piss up in history.
Please god don't let her sink.
I love being a pirate, you get away with all kinds of nonsance.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-02-21 11:02:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hmmmmmmm I hate it when the Inflatable lady twists my base.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-21 10:57:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-02-21 15:55:15 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
I shall Hurty, it's on the list. I did think the video was um....a bit static.
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Yeah it's just a picture of the guys who do the changing. I really can't recommend it enough as it's a great film. Sadly I only own a well worn VHS copy that is a bit fuzzy these days; since I'm in love with VHS, I think it kind of adds to the appeal. Similarly I will only ever watch Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas on VHS.
I go outside sometimes, honest!
Also, living on a boat sounds way cool.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-02-21 10:55:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I shall Hurty, it's on the list. I did think the video was um....a bit static.
Berty - not married yet. Both suddenly reluctant to set a date. Am how ever living on a boat. it's beyond awesome....most of the time. Except like earlier when the ships kitten (Captain Dangerous) climbed into the most scumy locker he could find and wollowed.....then he went in search of my pillow.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-21 10:42:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
LM, I know, but it's from a movie called 'Dark City' where Richard O'Brien and a creepy kid, as well as a few others put people to sleep while they re-arrange the city. The line is "Sleep... NOW!" and they do. If you haven't seen it I suggest you do, it's by the same guy who did 'The Crow'.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-21 10:42:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-02-21 10:28:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF the music on that link isn't going to put any poor bastard to sleep.
Liked this though.
*looks longingly around*
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Aren't you married now? And living on a boat?
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-02-21 10:28:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF the music on that link isn't going to put any poor bastard to sleep.
Liked this though.
*looks longingly around*
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-21 10:05:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Berty, this should help: http://youtube.com/watch?v=QaevU02zVn0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-21 10:01:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-21 10:01:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-21 15:00:10 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
Also I was going to rate your post but I started staring at some daffodils and tripped out for 10 minutes.
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Personally, I think it's an abomination that there are snowdrops and crocuses out with the daffodils this year. Thoughts?
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Sporadic.
I'm so tired Hurty. So very, very tired.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-21 10:01:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-21 15:00:10 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
Also I was going to rate your post but I started staring at some daffodils and tripped out for 10 minutes.
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Personally, I think it's an abomination that there are snowdrops and crocuses out with the daffodils this year. Thoughts?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-21 10:00:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Also I was going to rate your post but I started staring at some daffodils and tripped out for 10 minutes.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-21 09:59:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh no i'm not accusing you of plagerism, perish the thought. I just think that someone else has fone a story about a vibrator telling its life story before.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-21 09:48:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-21 14:47:24 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
This feels strangely familiar.
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???
I did a story in this style once before.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-21 09:47:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This feels strangely familiar.
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-02-21 09:40:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Because I'm the first!
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-02-21 09:40:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BOING