I'm not a waiter anymore. (1918 hits)
Category: Business & FinancialRating: -0.18 on 130 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Director (View user info) at 2008-02-21 15:58:25 EST
So fuck you, fuck your mother, fuck your father, fuck your brother, fuck your sister, fuck your cows, fuck your sheep, fuck your aunts, fuck your uncles, fuck your cousins, fuck your grandparents, fuck your cousins once, twice, three, four, five, six, seven and eight times removed, fuck your pigs, fuck your mice, fuck your insects, fuck your hamsters, fuck your children, fuck your stovepipe, fuck your furnace, fuck your waterheater, fuck your slippers, fuck your warm fuzzy terrycloth towels, fuck your shampoo bottle, fuck your kitchen sink, fuck your girlfriend, fuck your wife, fuck your husband, fuck your boss, fuck your employer, fuck your alter, fuck your persona, fuck your house, fuck your car, fuck your driveway, fuck your pet rock, fuck your reptiles, fuck your backyard, fuck your lawnmower, fuck your garage, fuck your George Foreman grill, fuck your wineglasses, fuck your kitchen, fuck your cupboards, fuck your bed, fuck your sofa, fuck your entertainment center, fuck your health, fuck your job, fuck your commute, fuck your policies, fuck your abortion, fuck your pro-life, fuck your country, fuck your state, fuck your county, fuck your parish, fuck your local police, fuck your province, fuck your constable, fuck your grandchildren, fuck your mouth, fuck your ass, fuck your big toe, fuck your -2, fuck your -1, fuck your 0, fuck your +1, fuck your +2
and....
once again...
FUCK YOU.
Not that I really care what you dickhounds think. I don't know you. I'll never know you. I don't want to know you. Your life & ultimate death mean about as much to me as the demise of the Duckbilled Platypus. If I really gave a rat ass about what you virgin dweebs and egotistical whores think then I'd probably run a spell check once in a while.
But it's always great to have an opportunity to tell you to go fuck yourself.
So...go fuck yourself.
User Reviews
Submitted by maf54 (user info) at 2008-05-14 03:50:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HAHAHAHAh a FUCKING waiter!!
Fetch me a drink Director
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2008-02-24 17:11:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
what the fucking fuck?
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2008-02-23 11:12:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've done as you asked, do I get a break now? A drink of water at least? All that fucking can wear a guy out.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-02-22 19:27:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No, no good sir - I insist: fuck you.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-02-22 12:39:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2008-02-22 05:44:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
GO FUCK YOURSELF.
=================
HEY BEANO OLD MAN! HOW'S THE ANTICHRIST AND THE INBRED WATERBUFFALO/YAK HOLDING UP?
HOW LONG TILL YOUR SPAWN DESTROYS THE WORLD?
WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS YELLING?
ISN'T IT ENOUGH TO BE THE FATHER OF SATAN?
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2008-02-22 07:06:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
my condolences
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2008-02-22 05:44:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
GO FUCK YOURSELF.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2008-02-22 04:10:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"for boiling fucking water"
oh and woo las vegas woo
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2008-02-22 04:02:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
forboiling fucking water
I just recently found out doormen at nightclubs in town make somewhere in the relatively high 6 figures while I toil away at helping society in the mid 5.
wtf
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2008-02-21 21:05:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"fuck your George Foreman grill"? Now wait just a damn minute! I can handle all that other fucking but don't even think about fucking with the Lean Mean Grilling Machine. That's the last straw!
And, does this mean that I don't get my soup?
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-02-21 20:22:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ooooh.. rad, I just found out I may be down your way late march!
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-02-21 20:19:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2008-02-21 20:17:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
so did you get promoted to cook?
====================================
No, but you know, the chefs in that company make seriously major bucks. And the head chef lives in a goddamn Palace. He's some Northern European guy (think the muppets Swedish Chef) and he can't speak a lick of English, but that bastard is going to die a very wealthy man.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2008-02-21 20:17:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
so did you get promoted to cook?
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:59:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:50:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You make me happy in my wrong places.
But you can't have sex with my corpse.. I'm using it to hold down the corner of the tarpaulin covering the Site of Cleansing Flame (really, it's just a big hole in the ground... I haven't got anyone to put in it yet, those practicing witches are FAST) and I can't be bothered digging up another one.
Have sex with me, instead.
==================
I'd take you up on that, dearest, if you were closer than 100 bajillion miles away.
And if I didn't think the Dutchman would pitch a wooden-shoed windmill heaving hissy fit.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:57:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:45:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Beeltea, what do you want?
---
THAT is the million dollar question. Now everybody has to scream real loud!
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:50:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You make me happy in my wrong places.
But you can't have sex with my corpse.. I'm using it to hold down the corner of the tarpaulin covering the Site of Cleansing Flame (really, it's just a big hole in the ground... I haven't got anyone to put in it yet, those practicing witches are FAST) and I can't be bothered digging up another one.
Have sex with me, instead.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:47:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
well if that's the case i probably can't help you
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:45:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Beeltea, what do you want? What exactly are you drivin' at here? I seem to be missing the point on a very large scale.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:43:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
no no no
i didn't say you were lacking a soul
I just said you weren't funny.
those are two different things.
understand the difference. it could save your life.
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:39:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-02-21 16:36:33 PST (#)
Ranking: 2
the problem here, ebola, is that you are dealing with a person who has no real concept of what is funny. beforeemily is, unfortunately, not all that... (hmmm how shall we phrase it) bright.
i hope i didn't offend her.
---
Oh yes, I obviously have no sense of humor if I don't think it's funny when Pigdick says "I'm just a washed up drunk". I clearly have no soul.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:36:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
the problem here, ebola, is that you are dealing with a person who has no real concept of what is funny. beforeemily is, unfortunately, not all that... (hmmm how shall we phrase it) bright.
i hope i didn't offend her.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:36:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:30:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A tiny, frightened voice drifts down from the rafters, settling to the floor somewhere between the broken beer bottles, used condoms, and bloody teeth...
"Uhm... I wuv you.... you didn't mean me, right?"
=================
Circe, luv, you're my favorite Uberer, leik, EVAR. I'd stalk you if you lived in my hemisphere. So no, naturally, I don't mean you.
I'd have sex with your CORPSE, for heaven's sake...
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:31:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
To tell you the truth I can't remember why you annoy me so. I call you Pigdick so I don't have to call you Director. But you are annoying.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:30:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A tiny, frightened voice drifts down from the rafters, settling to the floor somewhere between the broken beer bottles, used condoms, and bloody teeth...
"Uhm... I wuv you.... you didn't mean me, right?"
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:28:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:22:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate apostrophes.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sorry old pal.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:21:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Looks like Pigdick has done the research.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It's funny. I don't know who you are or where you came from or why you dislike me so much (and honestly I don't care). But you're hardly the first to sling out "Pigdick," so can't you please come up with something a little more original to call me? If there's ONE thing I really dislike it's rehashed shit; that goes for movies made from 30 year old television shows to the same old tired japanese magna or magma or whatever cartoon shit.
Observe, whore: http://www.ubersite.com/m/111066
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:27:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No problem, haiku, but I have no idea what you're apologizing for.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:27:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:22:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate apostrophes.
---
yeah? well i was talking to apostrphes the other day, and he told me that he wasn't all that fond of your ass either.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:26:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Better than being blown to fuck by a howitzer I guess.
=====
This is as close as I've ever been to optimism, thanks Director.
P.S. Sorry Lungfish
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:25:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Beeltea's one of the five (except for that review). Post more, twat. Time for my old-man nap.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:24:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:19:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shlongy and about five others make me laugh frequently. What is wrong with the rest of you twats? Make me laugh, bitches. I'm not here for enlightenment.
This post made me laugh.
---
it's because we all know that you root for the arizona diamondbacks and we here at ubersite just can't respectfully grant them actual membership into what we know as "the national league" because they are just a bunch of nancy-boys.
except for O-Dog. O-dog kicks ass.
Make yourself laugh. Or go camping.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:22:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate apostrophes.
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:21:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Looks like Pigdick has done the research.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:19:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
A fatty liver can heal itself. A liver that has contracted cirhossis cannot. I'm not sure what stage mine is at, but I'll wager it's closer to the later than the former.
Honestly, though, I don't give a fuck.
Gotta die of something. Better than being blown to fuck by a howitzer I guess.
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:19:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-02-21 16:16:53 PST (#)
Ranking: 2
Liver's heal themselves. At least, that's the rule in my world. You could probably start drinking again.
Love, Satan
---
Only for a little while, boys. Be careful. Unless you're Dave Crosby, good luck getting on that transplant list.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:19:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shlongy and about five others make me laugh frequently. What is wrong with the rest of you twats? Make me laugh, bitches. I'm not here for enlightenment.
This post made me laugh.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:16:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Liver's heal themselves. At least, that's the rule in my world. You could probably start drinking again.
Love, Satan
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:15:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:13:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I would know that though.
I had a GPS device installed in her slot while she slept in June, of 2002.
Anyway, she only whores around with professional athletes, so we can both get soemething out of it.
You should see the seats I get these days.
SO YOU'RE LYING AGAIN, Cyrano.
===================================
This is the greatest reply in all of uber history.
I now return to worshipping the ground you walk on, Oh Great One.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:14:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-02-21 16:02:35 PST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:59:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Right...next time I'll make sure to do the research there, Jack.
Fucking moron.
--
Hey, I'm not the one who's had a raging hard-on for some anonymous person on the internet after said anonymous person on the internet slapped you down over some matter so trivial the anonymous person on the internet has forgotten what it was.
Get over it, dude.
=====
I might get on that, the second I understand...at all...what the hell you are talking about, mister.
I'm not Canadian, but I have gone to one CHL game.
The American team won, but to be fair, I'm pretty sure they only have 2-4 American players.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:14:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:11:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not true. I matured from airhead to manly, to I-dont-give-a-shit-anymore-because-everyone-is-a-fucking-idiot-except-for-me-and-mine.
And some of *mine* are close to being idiots.
----------
Me too. I was never a socialist though. I never really went with any political party or agenda because, frankly, they're all fucked up.
I just went to drunk after I lost *mine.*
I'll bet my liver is the size of my ex-wife's ego, which is to say, it blankets North America.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:13:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I would know that though.
I had a GPS device installed in her slot while she slept in June, of 2002.
Anyway, she only whores around with professional athletes, so we can both get soemething out of it.
You should see the seats I get these days.
SO YOU'RE LYING AGAIN, Cyrano.
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:12:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Little_Sally (user info) at 2008-02-21 16:03:29 PST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:23:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Haiku, are you calling me a whore? or a children?
---
he's calling you a children.
---
That's what I thought.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:11:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:12:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, all twentysomethings are airheads. Then they either mature into conservatives or fuckin socialist milquetoast idiots. Everyone knows that.
--------
Not true. I matured from airhead to manly, intelligent socialist to I-dont-give-a-shit-anymore-because-everyone-is-a-fucking-idiot-except-for-me-and-mine.
And some of *mine* are close to being idiots.
Submitted by Little_Sally (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:11:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you just dry hump her?
Submitted by Little_Sally (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:09:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
by the way, haiku, stop being a nasty Canadian. Canadians are supposed to be nice.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:09:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
*Tuesday
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:06:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Shlongy, I'll bet you DIDN'T know I dry hump your wife every Teusday at 3:00 p.m., though, did'ja?
Submitted by Little_Sally (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:03:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:23:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Haiku, are you calling me a whore? or a children?
---
he's calling you a children.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:02:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:59:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Right...next time I'll make sure to do the research there, Jack.
Fucking moron.
--
Hey, I'm not the one who's had a raging hard-on for some anonymous person on the internet after said anonymous person on the internet slapped you down over some matter so trivial the anonymous person on the internet has forgotten what it was.
Get over it, dude.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2008-02-21 19:00:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hahahahahahahahahah!!!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:59:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Time out.
Do you REALLY think for a second that I know anything - or CARE - about you other than:
1) You're Director
2) You used to be Ebola
3) You're hideous looking
d) You're an alcoholic busboy that hasn't been laid in over 4 years?
C'mon...give Shlongy SOME creit here, Chief.
The next person that Shlongy "stalks" will be his first.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:59:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Right...next time I'll make sure to do the research there, Jack.
Fucking moron.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:58:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Quite possibly, my favorite post ever.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:54:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
For fuck sake...
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:52:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:22:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
=====
He's a 40+ Republican, he's doing everything that's expected of him; Generalizing issues, using the internet to complain about the children, and conversing with whores.
--
If you only had the ability to scroll down (I must have a newer computer mouse because mine has this cool feature called a scroll wheel) you'd see that I'm actually complaining about whores http://www.ubersite.com/m/115124#2656981 and conversing with children http://www.ubersite.com/m/115124#2657011.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:52:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:22:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
=====
He's a 40+ Republican, he's doing everything that's expected of him; Generalizing issues, using the internet to complain about the children, and conversing with whores.
--
If you only had the ability to scroll down (I must have a newer computer mouse because mine has this cool feature called a scroll wheel) you'd see that I'm actually complaining about whores http://www.ubersite.com/m/115124#2656981 and conversing with children http://www.ubersite.com/m/115124#2656981.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:42:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:18:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This review brought to you by the McCallumTranslator ™
--
Yes, Willie, the trademark sign is fun, but like every other attempt at humor you're overdoing it to the point people will think you're developmentally disabled. Please stop.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:39:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:35:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You get demoted back to busboy? CONGRATULATIONS!
I hope my 14 phone calls and 56 letters to your boss had nothing to do with that.
==================
1) You're too late with your first comment; McCallum beat you to it, punchy.
2) It somehow wouldn't surprise me in the least to hear you'd been stalking my previous employer.
3) Suck my penis.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:38:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-02-21 15:35:34 PST (#)
Ranking: -2
You get demoted back to busboy? CONGRATULATIONS!
I hope my 14 phone calls and 56 letters to your boss had nothing to do with that.
=========
It's quite a testament to one's "old ass"-ness when they find it easier to use the Postage system rather than operate a telephone.
Submitted by BritishBeef (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:38:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:36:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-02-21 15:30:48 PST (#)
Ranking: 2
You know, I was helping this man before you stole the show with your childish, whore-like actions.
Now he'll never be happy.
---
Stole the show? Thanks!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:35:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You get demoted back to busboy? CONGRATULATIONS!
I hope my 14 phone calls and 56 letters to your boss had nothing to do with that.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:32:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:30:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You know, I was helping this man before you stole the show with your childish, whore-like actions.
Now he'll never be happy.
========================
Not true.
All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I'm fine.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:30:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You know, I was helping this man before you stole the show with your childish, whore-like actions.
Now he'll never be happy.
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:29:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-02-21 15:24:06 PST (#)
Ranking: 1
What if I were calling you a childish whore?
---
What's your point?
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:26:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Huh. That's right. I just saw that movie. I wonder if this came subconciously from his diatribe in the film?
Submitted by Zampano (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:25:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:18:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Zampano (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:15:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Edward Norton in '25th Hour', you ain't.
=========================================
I don't know what you mean by that, but I just saw that movie the other day. It was pretty good but kinda unrealistic.
Anyway yeah, I'm no pimp, drug dealer, or talented actor.
I'm just a washed up drunk.
*sobs*
* ** *
When I started reading this, I started think of his extensive fuck monologue/dialogue with himself. Nothing more and nothing less.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:24:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
What if I were calling you a childish whore?
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:23:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Haiku, are you calling me a whore? or a children?
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:22:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-02-21 15:17:17 PST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-02-21 15:15:17 PST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thats right, Em, medicate yourself. Your whole fuckin generation is doing it, why go against the flow?
---
That's rather a large generalization there, Jack.
=====
He's a 40+ Republican, he's doing everything that's expected of him; Generalizing issues, using the internet to complain about the children, and conversing with whores.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:18:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:12:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:04:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-02-21 15:02:10 PST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-02-21 17:44:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
People call you a madman because you're a fucking die hard republican on a liberal website.
--
I'm not die hard anything. I just try to point out the obvious to a bunch of twentysomething airheads and get shat upon for the effort.
==============================
I can't get hard unless I pay the neighbor girl with downs to give me a San Francisco steamer.
This review brought to you by the McCallumTranslator ™
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:18:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Zampano (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:15:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Edward Norton in '25th Hour', you ain't.
=========================================
I don't know what you mean by that, but I just saw that movie the other day. It was pretty good but kinda unrealistic.
Anyway yeah, I'm no pimp, drug dealer, or talented actor.
I'm just a washed up drunk.
*sobs*
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:17:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-02-21 15:15:17 PST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thats right, Em, medicate yourself. Your whole fuckin generation is doing it, why go against the flow?
---
That's rather a large generalization there, Jack. You don't know why I'm not feeling well today, so STFU.
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:16:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's ok though. Prostitutes don't need brains.
Just elastic-y hatchet wounds.
---
Oh, my.
Thats funny.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:15:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I matured myself right from conservative company man to damn near homeless drunk.
Women played no small part in that evolution, I might add, though Jimmy Buffet said it best:
"Some people claim that there's a woman to blame,
but I know, it's my own damn fault."
Submitted by Zampano (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:15:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Edward Norton in '25th Hour', you ain't.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:15:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thats right, Em, medicate yourself. Your whole fuckin generation is doing it, why go against the flow?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:12:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:04:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-02-21 15:02:10 PST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-02-21 17:44:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
People call you a madman because you're a fucking die hard republican on a liberal website.
--
I'm not die hard anything. I just try to point out the obvious to a bunch of twentysomething airheads and get shat upon for the effort.
---
I love this! Unfortunately for you, the twentysomething airheads vote too. Also, what excuse do you have for being criticized by the people over twentysomething?
----------
Well, all twentysomethings are airheads. Then they either mature into conservatives or fuckin socialist milquetoast idiots. Everyone knows that.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:12:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That's why we have the BBB.
Yeah, Emily/Whoredog, you're slower than most.
That's ok though. Prostitutes don't need brains.
Just elastic-y hatchet wounds.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:10:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-02-21 17:28:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Besides I'm done with women. I'm too fucking old. And real goddamned tired of getting jerked around. So Imma make my money and go my own way, and just buy hookers when I'm randy.
===
Why would he say that? I mean, sure, relationships have their ups and downs, but few things could be more meaningful than-
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:01:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Aw, fuck you, Jack. I actually do work nights. I guess that means I'm a whore then. Okay, now that I've got that figured out, NO JIZZ FOR YOU, PIGDICK! Told ya, I'm losing control. Not to mention I'm a bit slow.
=====
oh...
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:09:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-02-21 15:06:46 PST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:01:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Aw, fuck you, Jack. I actually do work nights. I guess that means I'm a whore then. Okay, now that I've got that figured out, NO JIZZ FOR YOU, PIGDICK! Told ya, I'm losing control. Not to mention I'm a bit slow.
--
Fuck ME? How'd I get dragged into this, Nostrils?
---
WOW, I am confusing you with Pigdick. Holy shit, I need some Ativan.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:08:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
At any rate, I could not in good conscience sell something to the public I had not thoroughly tested myself. Seems like bad business.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:06:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:01:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Aw, fuck you, Jack. I actually do work nights. I guess that means I'm a whore then. Okay, now that I've got that figured out, NO JIZZ FOR YOU, PIGDICK! Told ya, I'm losing control. Not to mention I'm a bit slow.
--
Fuck ME? How'd I get dragged into this, Nostrils?
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:06:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You thump their bellies.
DUH.
Am I the ONLY person on this fucking website who grew up in the South?
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:05:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Richard Pryor can not get a negative rating.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:04:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-02-21 15:02:33 PST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well if I were a pimp I'd never get high on my own supply, if you know what I mean.
--------
How would you know when they're ripe?
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:04:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-02-21 15:02:10 PST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-02-21 17:44:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
People call you a madman because you're a fucking die hard republican on a liberal website.
--
I'm not die hard anything. I just try to point out the obvious to a bunch of twentysomething airheads and get shat upon for the effort.
---
I love this! Unfortunately for you, the twentysomething airheads vote too. Also, what excuse do you have for being criticized by the people over twentysomething?
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:03:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well I knew everything when I was in my 20's too, McCallum.
Psh. Didn't you?
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:03:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
See where effort got you?
At least someone has empty bowels, now.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:02:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well if I were a pimp I'd never get high on my own supply, if you know what I mean.
I'd stick to raping schoolboys.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:02:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-02-21 17:44:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
People call you a madman because you're a fucking die hard republican on a liberal website.
--
I'm not die hard anything. I just try to point out the obvious to a bunch of twentysomething airheads and get shat upon for the effort.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:01:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Pimps don't have to rape to get their licks in.
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:01:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Aw, fuck you, Jack. I actually do work nights. I guess that means I'm a whore then. Okay, now that I've got that figured out, NO JIZZ FOR YOU, PIGDICK! Told ya, I'm losing control. Not to mention I'm a bit slow.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-02-21 18:00:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Slave owner/pimp. What's the difference?
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-02-21 17:59:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Sounds like you'd make a better slave owner than a pimp.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-02-21 17:59:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-02-21 17:56:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Pigdick, how do you know I work nights? Have I let that slip somewhere? Am I losing control?
=============
It stands to reason, you stupid bitch, that you work nights, you being a two-bit whore and all.
Now come suck daddy's dick.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-02-21 17:58:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-02-21 17:42:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Pearls of wisdom in that "P.S.", about as many as you're going to find at the bottom of the next bottle, Jack.
--
You must have missed the post where I said I rarely* drink, doof.
*As in an average 1 or 2 mixed drinks or bottles of beer every two months, no shit. I had a bourbon last weekend, and the last shot before that was New Year's Eve. These days I'll take a sugar and caffiene buzz over a drunken mindcloud and lethargy any day. Gimme a 40oz mocha, pour off a third and load that fucker up with sweet, sweet sugar and I can fly around the earth like fuckin Superman.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-02-21 17:57:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I might just go into pimpin' for my own damn self. I saw a show recently on HBO or something where they documented all these different pimps in big cities.
Now, naturally, these guys were slimeballs and treated their girls like animals, but fuck me if they don't make some awesome, hardcore greenbacks.
I'd be a good pimp. I'd make sure they were well fed, didn't work in dangerous areas, had medical coverage and would screen their clients. I'd also cut them in on the profits, since they're doing all the dirty work.
And I'd only hit them on occassion.
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-02-21 17:56:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Pigdick, how do you know I work nights? Have I let that slip somewhere? Am I losing control?
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-02-21 17:54:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
That's only going to work if you sing it in the shower.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-02-21 17:53:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-02-21 17:50:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Like I said, Emily, I'm just gonna pay for hookers.
--
I wish they'd offer memberships like gyms or video stores. Slight discount, higher volume of sales, it's a win-win if you ask me.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-02-21 17:50:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Like I said, Emily, I'm just gonna pay for hookers.
So what nights do you work, whore?
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-02-21 17:48:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-02-21 14:44:27 PST (#)
Ranking: 0
Same here, same fucking deal right here. Green eyes, man. Green eyes. Always bad. Always a sign of violence and madness. Some good times, mind you, fantastic times, but always a bad end.
=============
Funny you say that, McCallum. My favorite wife had green eyes.
We don't speak now.
People call you a madman because you're a fucking die hard republican on a liberal website.
Duh.
---
HAHAHAHAHA! NO JIZZ FOR EITHER OF YOU!
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-02-21 17:47:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-02-21 17:42:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Pearls of wisdom in that "P.S.", about as many as you're going to find at the bottom of the next bottle, Jack.
=================
Wow. Your originality and insight are nothing short of astounding.
SUDDENLY EVERYTHING IS SO CLEAR NOW!
<the sun suddenly bursts through the clouds>
I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day!
I think I can make it now, the pain is gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared
Here is the rainbow I've been prayin for
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day!
Look all around, there's nothin but blue skies
Look straight ahead, nothin but blue skies
I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day!
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-02-21 17:44:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Same here, same fucking deal right here. Green eyes, man. Green eyes. Always bad. Always a sign of violence and madness. Some good times, mind you, fantastic times, but always a bad end.
=============
Funny you say that, McCallum. My favorite wife had green eyes.
We don't speak now.
People call you a madman because you're a fucking die hard republican on a liberal website.
Duh.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-02-21 17:42:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Pearls of wisdom in that "P.S.", about as many as you're going to find at the bottom of the next bottle, Jack.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-02-21 17:41:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-02-21 17:28:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Besides I'm done with women. I'm too fucking old. And real goddamned tired of getting jerked around. So Imma make my money and go my own way, and just buy hookers when I'm randy.
--
Same here, same fucking deal right here. Green eyes, man. Green eyes. Always bad. Always a sign of violence and madness. Some good times, mind you, fantastic times, but always a bad end.
So how come when you add a few cats into this equation I'm considered insane and you aren't?
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-02-21 17:38:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-02-21 17:35:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm just saying, man, if we brainstorm...
P.S. I almost never find anything when I'm actively searching for it.
==================
Again...uh...
huh?
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-02-21 17:35:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm just saying, man, if we brainstorm...
P.S. I almost never find anything when I'm actively searching for it.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-02-21 17:28:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
My ex's are crazy. I was crazy. The sauce made me crazier. Life is fucking crazy.
You're someone I
1) Don't know.
2) Will never know.
3) Don't know.
How in hell could you possibly be equipped to deal with my fucked up women/ex's/wives/girlfriends?
Besides I'm done with women. I'm too fucking old. And real goddamned tired of getting jerked around. So Imma make my money and go my own way, and just buy hookers when I'm randy.
But I'm touched by your apparent concern.
awwwww.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-02-21 17:20:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I don't need you to look out for my love life, pal.
==========
How do you know? From the many references you make to your crazy ex-wives, I very well may be better equipped to handle your relationships for you than yourself.
That sentence, all alone by itself up there, reads really funny to me. The one that I didn't write.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-02-21 17:06:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Or you might respond to random reviews left by one that avoids responsibility to the point of +1ing your post about how indifferent you are to Uber and its web inhabitants which contradicts itself simply by being posted.
==========
huh?
=========
Mxthnxbye go die now doesn't mean anything in real life, dude. It's text on a screen and I certainly don't wish death on ANYONE, FO REALS YO.
==========================================
Experima does what she wants. I was never her Daddy. She's hooked up with someone now, apparently, and it ain't me.
I don't need you to look out for my love life, pal. Thanks for caring though.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-02-21 16:57:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
When I gave out my password I did not want it back. Somone else got it back, unwilling to let it go to a stranger.
It somehow made its way back into my hands without any effort on my part.
mkthnxbye go die now.
-------
Or you might respond to random reviews left by one that avoids responsibility to the point of +1ing your post about how indifferent you are to Uber and its web inhabitants which contradicts itself simply by being posted.
mkthnxbye go die now? And to think I told experima she should give you the lovin's, for shame.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-02-21 16:44:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
FUCK YO COUCH NIGGA
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-02-21 16:41:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-02-21 16:36:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Or you might "quit" Uber, give your password out, then ask for your password back so you can post about how indifferent you are to Uber and its web inhabitants.
That would be crazy.
======================
When I gave out my password I did not want it back. Somone else got it back, unwilling to let it go to a stranger.
It somehow made its way back into my hands without any effort on my part.
mkthnxbye go die now.
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2008-02-21 16:40:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Yay!
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-02-21 16:36:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
If I really gave a rat ass about what you virgin dweebs and egotistical whores think then I'd probably run a spell check once in a while.
=====
Or you might "quit" Uber, give your password out, then ask for your password back so you can post about how indifferent you are to Uber and its web inhabitants.
That would be crazy.
Submitted by Maestro (user info) at 2008-02-21 16:25:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
fun things to fuck. fun things to fuck.
fun things to fuck. fun things to fuck.
fuck the front door, fuck the back.
fuck the good girls with the knack.
fuck the government until they fuck you back.
fuck a muslim, fuck a jew.
fuck fans of blink 182.
that's illegal if you were born in '83.
yeah, yeah, yeah.
fuck a bean cheese burrito.
fuck a bowl of cookie dough.
fuck the space between the big and neighbor toe.
fuck a cop, fuck a marine.
fuck a jar of vaseline.
fuck a calzone with pepperoni.
fuck a midget, fuck a dwarf.
fuck chris cringle with an elf.
but before you fuck it all... go fuck yourself!
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-02-21 16:20:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.mi.gov/lottery/0,1607,7-110--185742--,00.html ?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-02-21 16:19:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2008-02-21 16:16:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fine...I give up. What are you now?
============
Isn't it obvious from that list? He's a fucker.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2008-02-21 16:16:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fine...I give up. What are you now?
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-02-21 16:12:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-02-21 16:12:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You forgot to... fuck yourself!! Go away you moron and stop polluting what's left of uber.
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-02-21 16:12:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
BOING
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-02-21 16:09:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You're black?
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2008-02-21 16:08:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
bin laden didnt knock down the towers
it was you
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-02-21 16:08:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That's it, I'm calling Candy Finnegan.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-02-21 16:04:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
actually, if you're looking, i may be in need of a professional ball-washer. You can send your resume to sallywalker5.at.gmail.com
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-02-21 16:00:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Busted down to busboy?
Loading the dishwasher? Unloading the dishwasher?
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-02-21 16:00:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
been there
done that
Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2008-02-21 16:00:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
b@w
you fuckin' flid.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-02-21 15:59:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
so..... what,
you're unemployed?
go get a job you freak