Under my umbrella... (792 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.98 on 50 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ? (View user info) at 2008-02-27 02:48:28 EST
Please listen to this while you read this. Rihanna said this song was about her mom protecting her under her "umbrella" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQHMcZVPnNE
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Umbrella- an Item used to protect from the rain or the sun.
The rain in my life is pain, fear, distress, drugs, death, emotional distress, and basically anything bad that someone would have to shield you from.
I have stood under a lot of umbrellas in my life. It has come by in my life many a time.
I recall when I was hit by a car. I recall getting hit and bouncing off the curb. I couldn't move. I felt a crunch in my left shoulder and I also felt blindness in my left eye. I couldn't move my neck and also I couldn't feel my leg. I was only 5 years old.
There was blood. I recall the fear I had in my little body. I recall the feeling of despair and pain and longing for my mom. Who gave me their umbrella then?
My little sister.
She looked at me and comforted me. She gave me her umbrella. Every time I gasped and was scared she stroked my head and said the things my mother would have said to me. She told me it would be okay and just kept stroking my head. She kept me calm until the ambulance came.
I loved her for that. She kept me safe under her umbrella.
-
When I was young I was with my friends and a fight broke out. It was with some dirt street kids from the other part of town. They had started to fight my best friend Dan.
The fight was fair at first. Dan was holding his own against' this guy that was bigger. He hit him with a couple rights and they started to wrestle. Then I saw out of the corner of my eye...
A blade.
One of the guys that came with the kid pulled out a knife. It was a switch army blade of about 6 inches. He kind of hid it under his jacket then I saw him lunge at Dan. I not thinking of my well being got in Dan's way and covered his back and tackled and wrestled the guy to get the knife away.
I could have been stabbed, or died. I threw the knife across the beach and wrestled the kid. We both got jumped by the group and we walked away.
I had kept Dan under my umbrella that day. I shielded him from pain against my own well being. He had stood under my umbrella.
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When I was a young kid. I used to always get in trouble and just get into mischief. There was a bully in my neighborhood that used to basically kick the shit out of us. This fuckers name was Joey. I mean that's all this kid did was mess with us all day.
So one day he kept slamming me into the dirt and rubbing dirt, and grass into my hair in the morning going to school at the bus stop. He was older than me by 5 years. I was only 9 years old and he was 14. My older brother had, had enough. The kid's usurious use of the dirt had gotten him angry.
My older bro was only 12. He just flipped out. He literally beat the shit out of this kid. The kid had an older brother that was 16 that we all knew would come for my brother after he told his brother.
It didn't matter. When his older brother came my older brother took his beating like a man. A 12 year old vs. a 16 year old isn't a fair fight. But we both fought this guy together.
When my brother swung and got tackled, I ran around and bit the kid's ankle. I scratched his face. He gave us a swell beating but we got our licks in. We came home bloody and a bit crying. My dad just smiled with pride. We had stood our ground.
The kid didn't mess with us after that. I heard my eldest brother that was his age took him out for a "row". But my brother had let me stand under his umbrella even though he was scared.
--
I was in a car crash in high school. It was just us kids being idiots trailing to a party. I was following this girl I just started to have a crush on and her and all her friends were in a car in front of us.
They were drunk. Same as us.
We go right behind them riding there ass playing little high school jinks. She had a piece of shit 96' neon, While my friend was in a big 2001 Durango with a big steel grill in front.
In the girls drunken stupor she stopped in the middle of the intersection when the light turned red. We were going at a yellow light. My buddy hit his brakes...
POW!
We skidded into their car. My buddy's car was perfect and his grill on the front of his car was a little loose. The girl's car however was crumpled. The back was sunken in even from a little nudge from my buddy's car.
I hit my head on the dashboard felt dazed then I got my wits about me and just ran out of the car. I got in to see all the girls dazed and one of my other friends heads bloody because the glass all over the car was shattered.
I had to think fast. I made all my other buddies get all the cars out of the street into a gas station then I tried to see who needed to be moved. I had taken CPR classes and had also worked for a summer with my friend's dad who was a fire fighter.
The main girl had hit her head hard on the dash. She was bleeding profusely from her head. I knew that I had to make sure everyone got out of the car. So I started to plead with those who could move to get out of the car.
I had them move only because I knew the gas from the car could, would or else might leak. I told them all to get out for those who could move. So we pried open the car door of the neon and got my friends out. I helped get the girl out of the passenger and put her down on the ground then made her lay down telling her not to move.
She was crying about her back and how much her head hurt. I took off my shirt and soaked her head. I tried to comfort her by just trying to get her to forget about what was going on and tried to keep her calm.
The other girls were hysterical. We waited for the ambulance and then they took over. I was amazed at how mature I was in that situation at age 17. I directed all the patrons from age 16-19 on what to do. I also went around and checked everyone's pulse and their breathing just to make sure. I told them all to stay still until the ambulance.
I put them all under my umbrella. Thank god no one died.
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I recall when I was 6 years old. My grandma (not my real one but the only one I had ever known) took me and my little sister with her shopping.
Down in the city.
She was really poor and lived in a very poor part of the city with vagrants and others about. She lived also close to a mental hospital now that I recall,
But she liked to walk down to the market seeing as it was the only exercise she got and also the fact that she lived only 2 blocks away from it.
Once while we were walking a drunk drugged out bum came out asking my grandma for change. My grandma being the angel that she was gave him a couple of dollars (She was too generous that was why she was so poverty stricken). He saw that she had more money in her purse and saw us two little kids only 6 and 5 next to her.
He started to persist and ask for more and as my grandma said "no" he got wilder and crazier with his assertions for money. She finally just moved my sister and me behind her and basically yelled for him to back off.
Her heart was beating fast; she started to feel agitated and scared. She just yelled for him to stop. He looked at her as if he would lunge. But my grandma back then was around 55 years old and still young enough to fight.
He got a bit nervous and scared and decided to walk away. My grandma rushed us back home and called my dad to tell him what happened. My dad drove around looking for that bastard all day that day.
My grandma tried to protect us the best way she knew how. We stood under her umbrella.
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I was always the leader of my little group of friends. It didn't matter I was always the adventurous one. I lived by a lot of woods and anyone who has grown up in some part of the way in the sticks knows that there are rivers and streams every where.
We had a rope swing that swung across the river and you could fall into the shallow part that was about 6-8ft deep. But you had to swim fast to get back to the edge or else you could be pulled by the current towards the rapids and rocks.
When I was 12 my friend Jason's younger brother wasn't the best swimmer but he wanted to do the rope swing. We shouldn't have let him. But when your 12 years old being practical and smart goes out of the window.
He went across the rope swing and fell into the water. He hit with a loud Thud!
He didn't get knocked out but he slammed his leg into a rock and he just seemed to yelp and fall deeper into the water.
Jason and I just jumped in and swam to get him out. We pulled him up crying and screaming and put him on the side next to the rocks. He had a big cut on his leg and also got it tangled up with the "Danger Zone" fence that went across the stream to stop kids from going down the rapids.
He was cut and bleeding. We didn't know how to move him so we called for someone to get our friend Johns parents.
We covered the wound and tried to treat it as best we could. Then we started to try and drag him up the trail because we were so far back in the woods. We took him to John's dad who scalded us then hugged us for helping him out of the water.
We didn't care about our safety. We just wanted to make sure he was safe.
He stood under our umbrella that day.
--
So, uber how many times have you been under someone else umbrella for protection? How did it feel? What happened and I guarantee it was a loved one who tried to save you? How many people have you put under your umbrella? Well -2, h
User Reviews
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2008-02-29 09:05:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
*IF* you had stopped at the first little story about your sister, then this would have been an alright post.
But you didnt... you went on and on and on and on...
Just like that fucking song!
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-02-28 18:43:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
you are such a loser.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-28 07:06:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Perky; the statement "I stabbed my best friend in the leg because I was 9" is not a true statement. It is bullshit. A more appropriate statement might be "I stabbed my best friend in the leg because I am a mentalist", do you see how that is immediatly more accurate and plausable?
I am saying that you make bad decisions, that you get into trouble and are incapable or unwilling to learn from your mistakes. It is the latter that I find most aggravating. In many ways reading one of your posts is like watching The Crystal Maze, only on the internet I can actually shout at you and call you a spanner.
In all fairness though I grudgingly respect your mindlessly pragmatic approach to life. In spite of the appaling hardship your choices put upon you, you keep on going. Like a monkey battering its head against a wall in a vain effort to get to the cheese on the other side, one cannot help but admire the density of the monkey's skull and its incredible devotion to cheese. I shall not change my rating though because if you have never seen a monkey cave its own skull in trying to get food I can assure you: it is extreemly depressing.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-02-27 22:12:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-02-27 16:26:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-02-27 14:25:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-02-27 13:43:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
One time I was about to eat a sandwich. My coworker Peggy stopped me. The mayonaisse was past its expiration date. I stood under her umbrella that day.
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Once I was walking down the street and saw a puddle. A lady was about to step into it. "Hey lady," I said, "there's a puddle there." She stood under my umbrella that day.
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Once I wanted to get something from a vending machine, but didn't have enough quarters to get a bag of Chex mix. My wife gave me one of hers. I was fortunate to stand under her umbrella.
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That was funny as shit! ahhaha you clever fuck. God damn spacker! clever though.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-02-27 14:00:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
See, the purpose of a montage is to explore a character/event/period etc on a deeper level. I'm not even sure this explored the whole "people being nice to people" shpiel on a superficial level. See, the thing is that most of us don't know you or your friends, and the way you describe them makes them less than likeable. As such, when you intend to evoke emotions like caring or compassion when you describe you and your friends getting hurt, you really only evoke annoyance, or at most mild sadistic pleasure. I wouldn't suggest you explore this more deeply, as we really don't care. You may just want to go out there and find a personality. Or kill yourself. Either one is good, really.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-02-27 13:49:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
spacker
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-02-27 13:43:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
One time I was about to eat a sandwich. My coworker Peggy stopped me. The mayonaisse was past its expiration date. I stood under her umbrella that day.
----
Once I was walking down the street and saw a puddle. A lady was about to step into it. "Hey lady," I said, "there's a puddle there." She stood under my umbrella that day.
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Once I wanted to get something from a vending machine, but didn't have enough quarters to get a bag of Chex mix. My wife gave me one of hers. I was fortunate to stand under her umbrella.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-02-27 13:32:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
EL-la EL-la EL-la EH EH EH
under my um-bra-EL-la EL-la EL-la EH EH EH
EL-la EL-la EL-la EH EH EH
under my um-bra-EL-la EL-la EL-la EH EH EH
EL-la EL-la EL-la EH EH EH
under my um-bra-EL-la EL-la EL-la EH EH EH
EL-la EL-la EL-la EH EH EH
under my um-bra-EL-la EL-la EL-la EH EH EH
EL-la EL-la EL-la EH EH EH
under my um-bra-EL-la EL-la EL-la EH EH EH
EL-la EL-la EL-la EH EH EH
under my um-bra-EL-la EL-la EL-la EH EH EH
EL-la EL-la EL-la EH EH EH
under my um-bra-EL-la EL-la EL-la EH EH EH
EL-la EL-la EL-la EH EH EH
under my um-bra-EL-la EL-la EL-la EH EH EH
EL-la EL-la EL-la EH EH EH
under my HOLY CRAP FOR THE LOVE OF BABY CRYING JESUS SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2008-02-27 13:08:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
every post I read by you is the same fucking EMO bullshit over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2008-02-27 13:06:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
For the post itself.
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2008-02-27 13:05:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh. This -2 is for that song.
THAT FUCKING SONG.
><
enough.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2008-02-27 12:22:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-02-27 12:05:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Shlongy likes almost everyone, but your chances increase if you sport a vagina.
And after reading some of your past efforts here, you very well might.
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-02-27 12:02:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Schlongy- The funny part is that if you met me you would actually like me quite a bit.
You remind me of my friends dad's and uncles Schlongy. You would really like me. So I take your -2's as " keep on trying to impress me Perkman you faggot". I will keep trying old chum. I'll keep trying.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-02-27 11:56:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Was this necessary?
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-02-27 11:51:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-27 04:59:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This post is offensive to me. Constant stupidity. Constant drama. Constant failiure.
You glorify being run over at age 5. How could this happen? Why were you in the road at all? Those are rhetorical questions, don't answer them. Any answer you might give will doubtlessly only depress me.
Then there's the fighting. Fighting is for pussies.
THEN you go on about how your dad spent an afternoon driving around, hoping to beat up a hobo. That is not a good thing.
I'm not even going to comment on the madness of jumping into fenced of rapids.
I mean to say, why? Why do all this nonsense to yourself?
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Simple Berty- I was young and stupid.
I got hit by the car raceing across the street with my friends and then Blamo! car to the head. I got in fights because that was the crowd I ran with back then. Yes my dad is a and was a brit fuck and ask anyone with a british father if that had happened his dad would drive around and kill that damn hobo.
Jumping into the rapids was something every kid who grows up in the woods, or around water falls does. We have been doing it in my town well before I was born and the kids still do it today.
Why all the nonsense? Like I explained I was an adventurous kid. That's what we would do when we were bored. Go make mischief. Every kid that isn't a pussy does it from age around 9-12. That's what you do. Run around play football, go in the woods, make trouble, do dares and try and be badasses.
I don't know how something someone did in their innocence makes you puke. It makes me think that you are jealous that I have lived more by the age of 16 through adventure and done some crazy shit. More so than you have at the age you are. To me that is sad.
Every scar I have I'm happy I got it. It shows that I have lived. I'm a daring fuck if you really want to know. I also wouldn't change that for the world. Just because I grew up does mean I'm not going to look back on my past with nostalgia.
I loved it. I have lived motherfucker I have lived, I plan to continue living.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-02-27 11:00:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
say umbrella again motherfucker!
i did not enjoy this.
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2008-02-27 10:52:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You should stand under Einstein's umbrella.
Even dead, he's still smarter than you.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-02-27 10:45:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Less screenplay, more novel. Trust me.
Try this. Don't write about your life, about people in your life, how you feel about things, what you're going through, what others are going through, anyone's opinion, or something being done unfairly to someone else.
Try science fiction. Skip heavily on dialogue, and gloss over events. Lots of background details, and relate them only slightly to the foreground. No music.
Submitted by loopdeloo (user info) at 2008-02-27 10:21:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2008-02-27 10:06:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-02-27 02:57:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry about the end of the post.
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You should be sorry about the whole thing.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-02-27 10:03:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This sucked. This was also your best post. Guess what that makes all your other ones?
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-02-27 09:07:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Wompom (user info) at 2008-02-27 08:19:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Not your worst
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2008-02-27 07:28:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
laughable
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-27 04:59:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This post is offensive to me. Constant stupidity. Constant drama. Constant failiure.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-02-27 06:54:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I haven't read it yet, but I LOVE that song and the video.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-02-27 05:40:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Plus the bile this kid generates, mixed with the oblivious stubborn petulance he barfs up in return is pretty fucking kick ass.
So it really is a fair rating.
Keep it up, Perks.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-02-27 05:36:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-27 05:27:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Plus it amuses me that people get their taints all squished up over ratings.
========
*Unfurls taint*
Surely the whole point of the ratings system is to have some kind of reaction, positive, negative or neutral. Giving this moron a +2 because he's persistent is like giving a retard a chocolate bar for managing to buckle his helmet correctly.
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Why do you think they have the special Olympics?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-27 05:30:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Giving this moron a +2 because he's persistent is like giving a retard a chocolate bar for managing to buckle his helmet correctly.
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What's wrong with rewarding vulnerable people when they do something well on their own?
I don't like you likening Perkman to the mentally ill. People with disabilities struggle against adversity and reward us for our compassion by offering a unique perspective on life. Perkman is just a moron.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-27 05:27:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Plus it amuses me that people get their taints all squished up over ratings.
========
*Unfurls taint*
Surely the whole point of the ratings system is to have some kind of reaction, positive, negative or neutral. Giving this moron a +2 because he's persistent is like giving a retard a chocolate bar for managing to buckle his helmet correctly.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-02-27 05:21:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-27 04:18:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Rob I'm just wondering if there's any reason you keep +2ing utter shit?
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Simple.
I love this kid's attitude.
His writing bored the shit out of me... but he keeps at it - and with some ferocious tenacity.
I encourage that kind of determination.
Plus it amuses me that people get their taints all squished up over ratings.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-27 05:03:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
It's a good post by the way, in the same way a nazi posting about kicking a pregnant latino in the bulge would be good in a sickening, distressing, intense, sort of way, it's just you're a terrible person who makes me feel awfully tired.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-27 04:59:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This post is offensive to me. Constant stupidity. Constant drama. Constant failiure.
You glorify being run over at age 5. How could this happen? Why were you in the road at all? Those are rhetorical questions, don't answer them. Any answer you might give will doubtlessly only depress me.
Then there's the fighting. Fighting is for pussies.
THEN you go on about how your dad spent an afternoon driving around, hoping to beat up a hobo. That is not a good thing.
I'm not even going to comment on the madness of jumping into fenced of rapids.
I mean to say, why? Why do all this nonsense to yourself?
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-02-27 04:24:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't be lame beeltea. Don't be lame.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-27 04:18:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Rob I'm just wondering if there's any reason you keep +2ing utter shit?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-02-27 04:15:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bacon Lettuce AND Tomato
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V
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-02-27 04:08:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-02-27 03:25:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You're AWESOME! Beeltea.
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yes, yes, thank you. Really, no tears.
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2008-02-27 03:48:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2008-02-27 03:44:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
put me ta sleep but wasnt awful
Submitted by BadSamaritan87 (user info) at 2008-02-27 03:40:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-02-27 03:25:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You're AWESOME! Beeltea.
I love you "tear".
You really liked it. " starts to blubber like a fat kid who ate all the cake and waiting for his dad to come home and scald him. Then spank him for being so fat tears".
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-02-27 03:22:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm sorry perkman.
so sorry, in fact, that i DID read it.
and it wasn't bad.
i didn't listen to the music you suggested, however.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-27 03:18:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck Rihanna and fuck you too.
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-02-27 03:12:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
beeltea used to like my posts. I guess uber rex hurt him pretty bad. But oh, well.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-02-27 03:11:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-02-27 03:10:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
didn't read it.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-02-27 03:10:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
didn't read it.
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-02-27 02:59:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I said love it "Shakes fist".
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-02-27 02:57:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry about the end of the post. Damn Crtl+ alt. Son of a bitch.