Ubertines '08: Going Home (582 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.8 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (View user info) at 2008-02-28 07:07:45 EST
The water is black tonight. The river I sit beside ripples gently almost noiseless as I lie back and look up at the stars. I run my hands gently through the soft grass beside me and think of you with a fondness swelling in my heart. A smile brightens my face and with it the night seems a little softer.
I've come here often to be with you, to contemplate my life, to rest my weary bones and let my old heart feel young again. Once upon a time I was a young man, exploring you with vigour and passion: seedy nights spent in various pubs, memorable summers of music and free love, cold winters tucked away from blistering cold. We protected each other, survived together.
And then a break. I moved away and you got on without me. You grew a little different, I grew up a little and came back to you no longer a precocious teenager but almost a man. Seeing you with new eyes and a great deal more maturity let me see your flaws, and let's be honest you've got a great deal of them; but then, who is perfect? I'm able to accept these flaws now, I would say I embrace them but that wouldn't be the truth. The fact of the matter is that they're part of what makes you up and if I couldn't accept them then we'd have no relationship at all and that's something I can't even begin to imagine.
I'm back with you now. My heart hammers loudly in my chest as I lie with you at night, beating so loudly with pride and passion. Beating with pride because of the man you have made me. Beating with passion with the love I feel for you, a love so fierce and burning that it cannot be denied. Each morning when I wake and look at you with the eyes of a child I feel that the world is bright and full of possibilities. My own mistakes and short-comings are forgotten as I gaze upon you, drinking in your beauty and atmosphere that never fades.
When I walk with you I am a proud and upstanding man, full of vigour and identity. When I have been away from you I have reserved a special part of my heart to carry you in.
I write these words knowing that I am soon to be leaving you again. I feel a pang of disappointment, but know that the next time I board the train to come and see you, my heart will swell and truly I will know that I am going home.
User Reviews
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-02-28 17:32:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ever since I read the title, all I hear in my head is Alvin Lee and Ten Years After at Woodstock.
Thanks.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-02-28 13:46:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
im sure this is amazing but I cant be bothered to read it.
Submitted by BlazinBull (user info) at 2008-02-28 13:23:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-28 11:22:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-02-28 16:19:30 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
Scratch any scot and there's a romantic....
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Very true, we get more twinkly eyed than the Irish if we get half the chance.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-02-28 11:19:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Scratch any scot and there's a romantic....
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-02-28 10:15:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-02-28 14:54:18 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-02-28 09:48:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Beats all of the alter crap occupying the front page now.
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Totally agree.
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I call you on being an alter, lostnpound!!
Camwhore a shot that isn't a 'band photo' and I may reconsider!
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-28 10:15:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-02-28 14:58:34 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome, I'm altering this story and sending it to my wife so I can get some extra kinky lovin tonight. Hope you don't mind, consider it a compliment of sorts.(Imitation is flattery)
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I'd be interested to see your version.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-02-28 10:09:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
sniff
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-02-28 10:04:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, its certainly much better than that shit you posted yesterday.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-02-28 09:58:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome, I'm altering this story and sending it to my wife so I can get some extra kinky lovin tonight. Hope you don't mind, consider it a compliment of sorts.(Imitation is flattery)
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-02-28 09:54:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-02-28 09:48:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Beats all of the alter crap occupying the front page now.
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Totally agree.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-02-28 09:48:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Beats all of the alter crap occupying the front page now.
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-02-28 09:16:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-02-28 08:59:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Close the gates and keep out the nOObs, I say. Except me.
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Now wait a minute!!!!!
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-02-28 09:09:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It was only really +1.5-worthy, but I'm no TheUniter. Have a +2 instead.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-02-28 08:59:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh and this beats hands down any of the other shite on here at the moment. WTF is wrong with Uber today?
Close the gates and keep out the nOObs, I say. Except me.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-02-28 08:57:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have to agree we some of what Hourman says, but the sentiment is beautiful and it is very well written.
To be honest, I am glad you tried something different, the whole 'twist at the end, usually murder' from everyone in ubertine's was wearing thin. It is very different from your usual style and I like it. You tough Scotttish cunt, you!
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2008-02-28 08:19:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
awww
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-28 07:44:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
has he gone mental yet Hurty? Has he got to the point where he can't stop selling all the time?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-28 07:43:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You know I'm surprised; for a Scotsman you hardly ever talk about the cold and you rarely feature the elements in your writing. Stereotypically I'd expect to see more talk of howling winds and women weeping over barren earth.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-28 07:30:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Cheers hour_man, I'll admit I kind of lost concentration and it wasn't too strong in the end.
And Berty, I have a friend who sells phones. He hates it but makes pretty good money.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2008-02-28 07:28:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 my spelling is retarded today.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2008-02-28 07:26:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And just so you know, there's a bit where your characters voice changes, well it did in my head, where it changes from intelectual and deep in thought (almost a romantic poet) to something... more trivial, with less meaning.
Anyway, this is by far the best thing I've read today.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-28 07:26:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have decided, after lengthly consideration, that salespeople are terrifying individuals. They are like hannibal lector; inhuman with a terrible capacity for doing things.
I mean my God, have you ever actually tried to spend more than a month talking to new people and getting them to like you? It is awful, impossible. They can do it though, you know why? Because THEY DO NOT FEEL! Their emotional state is blank or muted at best. So they go out there, smiling and shaking hands and talking about Newcastle losing and the new BMW coming out on the market, tireless and indestructable.
It's weird though. Sometimes real people go into the sales proffesion, seduced by the high salaries and low standards, but you can always tell them apart from proper salespeople. It's horrible; they look like every night they are drugged to sleep and then electrocuted for 7 hours straight.
Submitted by celtic1888 (user info) at 2008-02-28 07:25:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i thought it to be a piece well done.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-28 07:25:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-02-28 12:24:06 GMT (#)
Ranking: 1
I always hated the term 'soft grass'
I've never felt soft grass.
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Grass in America is way different to grass in Britain.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-02-28 07:24:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I always hated the term 'soft grass'
I've never felt soft grass.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-28 07:23:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-02-28 12:22:07 GMT (#)
Ranking: 1
Yeah not bad. Kept waiting for the punch-line.
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I decided to write something that wouldn't make me look like a fucking weirdo. Kind of an experiment really; the only punchline is the subject of the piece, I suppose.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-02-28 07:22:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Yeah not bad. Kept waiting for the punch-line.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-28 07:20:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah I'm not 100% happy with it, but hey, I don't have any more time to work on it so there we go.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2008-02-28 07:19:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
It was good. Not great. Found it a little cliche, some of the expressions and imagery, but otherwise this was a pretty solid piece.