How NOT to get served (nothing to do with dancing) (795 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.64 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Han Solo <helrzr.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2008-02-28 21:21:36 EST
I realize that when you walk into a place you are about to spend money you expect to have prompt and friendly service, I feel the same way. I don't want to wait 10 minutes at the drive-thru speaker before someone takes my order. I want to clog my arteries ASAP.
However, there are certain ways that most people feel are unacceptable when trying to secure the afore mentioned services. Going back to the drive-thru example, you wouldn't pull into Burger King while just laying on the horn until the speaker kicks on would you? Of course you wouldn't (if you would, then you must like various bodily fluids in your food, because that's what you're about to get), most people are content to sit there for about 30 seconds then commence with: "Hello? Is anybody there?" This is generally sufficient to draw someone's attention to your plight and help out a little, thereby averting an angry customer.
But sometimes, my friends, you get that asshole who DOES like to lay on the horn.
This brings me to my story. I work in a hotel; it's a highly recognized national chain that I won't mention at this time (it rhymes with "Clampton" though). For those of you who don't or never have worked the front desk at a hotel I'll break down my general day. I sit in an office in the back and keep an eye on the cameras; our main camera is the one that show the check-in desk. When someone walks up I run out front and check them in, or if someone needs items (towels, etc.) I run them up to their room. I might do 3-4 hours of actual work in an 8 hour shift (pretty sweet, imho). That's pretty much standard throughout the industry. When most people walk up and don't see anyone standing there they usually try to politely grab my attention by coughing, jangling their keys a little or saying "hello?".
But tonight I had this ass-hat walk up and actually whistle at me like I was a FUCKING DOG. Seriously the same whistle (tone & pitch) most people use on their dogs, this guy tried to use on me. Fuck you dude. I sat in the back office and just stared at this stupid bastard on the camera for about 5 minutes. For the first full minute he kept whistling like my name was Spot. So apparently, not only am I not worthy having English spoken at me, I'm deaf as well.
If I didn't hear you in the first 10 seconds of your little concert, what in the blazing blue fuck makes you think I'm going to hear it in the next 50? I could be in the bathroom, helping a guest, making a reservation or just sitting back here beating my dick like it was cheating on me. I'm here to help man, not be your fucking cabana (sp?) boy. Just calm down and wait your turn, I don't care what level of our rewards program you are, it doesn't entitle to you to be a dick.
I finally walk out there after this guy after this has had a minute to stew. On my way, I open and close the door to office so it sounds like I just got back from doing something and run out there as if I'm TRULY sorry for the wait. Before I can even (fake) apologize for the delay he looks at me and says "Jesus, it took you long enough. I'm a diamond member and shouldn't be kept waiting!" At this point, I'm fighting my urge to kill, but it's starting to win. I decide to try and make this guy feel like an ass about it and say (with the biggest shit-eating grin I can muster) "I'm sir, but one of our elderly guests needed help in their room." Who can get pissed about me helping some old fucker, right? This guy can. He goes "Well, that sounds like your problem. I'm on a schedule and can't be kept waiting."
At this point I decide that his check in is going to take as long as humanly possible. I pretend I don't know how to type and go into "hunt and peck" stance. I take about 3-4 minutes to get his name and addy in the computer (usually that's a 30 second process, tops). Then I strike snail speed gold. His AMEX won't swipe, I have to key the number in. And of course WHO gets those things right on the first 5 tries? ;) Finally we get all his information in and he gets the registration card signed, I make him his room keys and send him up. Then stand there and wait for him to come back down, I know he will because I made his keys for the wrong room. When he gets down he's pissed about the keys not working, I decide to take a gamble and tell him that some cell phones will Degauss the key cards (this is true BTW) so if he was on his cell phone on the way up that's probably what knocked them out. Luckily I estimated this guys douche-baggery correctly and he WAS on his cell phone on the way up (douche-bags are always on their cells). But he's still pissed at me, and I like it that way. I wish that mother fucker would get so pissed at me that his heart explodes out his asshole in a beautiful blood/feces fountain of death. Then I could show up at his funeral and tell his family that he died crying and pissing himself.
So now he's up in his room thinking that he might call the help line and complain. He thinks that revenge will be his. That's fine, I don't think I'll be fired. I'm damn good at what I do and have had lots of people call corporate to complement me (23 to be exact).
Well, Alfred I hope your reading this.
I really do.
Because I put you in the only room we've ever had a suicide in.
Don't fuck with the people trying to serve you, it's bad karma.
User Reviews
Submitted by iacobus (user info) at 2008-03-25 10:02:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2008-02-29 13:42:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
23 to be exact.
Oh really.
JUST A NUMBER?
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-02-29 13:30:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't understand why you'd want to piss off certain professions. Anyone who handles your food, for instance, or anyone who knows more about computers than you do. As tech director for a global firm, I'm always thrilled when one of the fat-headed morons from software engineering or sales come in to tell me about how they just installed Vista at home. And their wife, who sells crap she makes with plastic beads on Ebay, she just LOVES the 3D flippidy-floo windows and having to reboot every ten minutes and WHY CAN'T WE HAVE IT AT WORK, HUH? WHY CAN'T WE BE UP TO DATE LIKE COMPANIES THAT ACTUALLY MAKE MONEY??
Yeah, you know those "personal" pictures? The ones you kept in that so-called 'hidden' folder on your company laptop? The ones you assumed we knew nothing about? You can find them on www.newbienudes.com. And so can you mom as we just sent her an anonymous email. :-( Sometimes payback is rough.
PS. We got you banned from WoW because your fucking whore of a night elf wouldn't stop hitting on teenage boys. Stop playing that shit at work, you dumb fuck.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-02-29 13:12:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-29 05:02:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't suppose anyone remembers who it was?
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Siren
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-02-29 11:56:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry Drogo, I assumed, although it seems like hotel work is a pre-requisite around here.
I'm +2ing the humor, not the morality of the situation.
Are you telling me you were neverever a dick to someone?
oddly enough I'm the first person to complain about bad service, Hypocritical dick that I am.
**beems with pride**
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-02-29 11:37:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually FALLEN I did work in a Hotel, on reception no less, many years ago whilst at school. So I do understand and still stand by the fact that there is no 'Winning' to be had in this situation, especially doing what this guy did.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-02-29 11:33:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Explaining how you won to someone that never worked at a hotel is pointless.
It's like explaining how "This one(amp)goes to eleven."
You get it or you don't.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-02-29 10:38:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry don't have a whole lot of sympathy as you acted like a dick in return.
It always amazes me how people in your position really think you 'Win' these situations. Yes you inconvenienced him slightly but you have to look at the fact that one, very scathing review of your treatment of him to your management could wipe out the 23(how many?) positive reviews and make them look more closely at you in future.
Also he gets to walk away from your hotel, whilst you continue to work there
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-02-29 10:32:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-02-29 10:29:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm torn, see...been on both ends of this stick before. So I see his point AND yours.
Hence, I'll leave a neutral rating.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-02-29 10:10:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I had a cock smoker try that whistle shit on me once too.
I explained that my title was "night audit" not "Guest service agent" and therefore by definition, I didn't care if he had a good experience or not.
you owe me a story too.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/114870#2647498
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2008-02-29 09:58:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
L2grammar
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-02-29 09:46:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Kinda agree with alot of comments made here, but I have never been a fan of anyone whistling at me to get my attention. When working on a bar and a guy did this to me, I made a very loud and very long drawn out deal of trying to find his dog he'd lost.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-29 08:51:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Through has more letters than you seem capable of.
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-02-29 08:43:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2008-02-29 08:19:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I used to work in a hotel.
Aren't you a front desk clerk? shouldn't you be at the front desk?
If I walk into a hotel and nobody is there and there is no bell I am going to make some noise, not just sit there waiting for some dipshit to mosey out from wherever they are dozing off at. How the hell is he supposed to know you will be out in a second?
If you don't like people whistling at you stay at the front desk.
As I said I used to do that when I did a semester ot part time at college, and I try to be to polite to people when I check in, but at the end of the day you are the one working, you are the one getting paid to serve, so don't get butt hurt when people actually want quick service.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-29 05:02:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't suppose anyone remembers who it was?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-29 04:43:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
There was a woman uber user who worked in a hotel and she was unique in not being an appalling person.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2008-02-29 04:16:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-02-29 03:43:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
this is actually really fucking bad i have no idea why it has a high rating
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-02-29 03:43:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
this is actually really fucking bad i have no idea why it has a high rating
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2008-02-29 03:11:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Maybe you should suck it up and do your job better?
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2008-02-29 00:42:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh, nicely done. The depressing part about stuff like this is that these jerkbags rarely learn anything.
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2008-02-28 22:37:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
RRRRUUUURRNNNN NUUURRRRRGRRRHHHHHH RRRRRUUURRRNNNNN
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2008-02-28 22:08:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I am the grammar police and that little faux pas just cost you -1, Leroy.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-02-28 22:07:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BTW, I apologize for the 'your' in 'I hope your reading this'. My bad, plz don't send the grammer police after me.
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It's... fuckit, nevermynde.
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-02-28 21:59:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-02-28 21:47:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Normally I'd respond with something along the lines of "You know you work in a service industry, right? Fucking SERVE, bitch!" But just because you're behind the check-in couner rather than in front of it doesn't mean you're less than human. There's no excuse for going out of your way to treat someone badly, especially if you want something from them... unless they have demonstrated that they deserve/require it, like if I come to the unoccupied counter and I can fucking see you loafing in the back room, actively ignoring my bell-ringing and "Hello-oo". Then, you started it and it's gloves off.
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I totally agree. Normally, I'm happy to serve, but some people tend to forget that Lincoln freed the slaves.
BTW, I apologize for the 'your' in 'I hope your reading this'. My bad, plz don't send the grammer police after me.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2008-02-28 21:54:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
'tard
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-02-28 21:49:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Kicker of all ass. No more, no less.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-02-28 21:47:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Normally I'd respond with something along the lines of "You know you work in a service industry, right? Fucking SERVE, bitch!" But just because you're behind the check-in couner rather than in front of it doesn't mean you're less than human. There's no excuse for going out of your way to treat someone badly, especially if you want something from them... unless they have demonstrated that they deserve/require it, like if I come to the unoccupied counter and I can fucking see you loafing in the back room, actively ignoring my bell-ringing and "Hello-oo". Then, you started it and it's gloves off.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-02-28 21:26:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HELL MOTHER FUCKING RZR.