Nitrous Epiphany (408 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.66 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by X54 (View user info) at 2008-03-02 19:43:07 EST
The man behind the counter at "Monsters of Rock" looks like a terrorist in disguise. He'll seem suspicious of you, perhaps because you don't fit the profile of his usual customers. If you ask him for nitrous oxide, he'll tell you he doesn't carry it. You have to ask for whipped cream chargers. They come from France and they make an unmistakable jingle inside their box when he plunks them down on the glass countertop.
The ritual begins with the removal from the dispenser of the previously expired cartridge. The fresh cartridge must be screwed in deftly or some of the nitrous oxide will leak out and be wasted. It sounds easy enough, but you're stoned and drunk by this time.
Next comes the deep breathing exercise, to pre-oxygenate the brain. It's best to lie back and relax before taking the plastic tube between your lips, squeezing the valve handle and inhaling the contents of the dispenser.
Set the dispenser down and close your eyes. The natural background ringing in your ears increases and begins to oscillate. You feel lightheaded, recalling that nitrous oxide achieves its effect by depriving the brain of oxygen. Exhaling slightly, you imagine your brain cells suffocating like Chinese coal miners waiting for rescue. You take a few shallow breaths, trying to keep as much nitrous oxide in your lungs for as long as possible.
Suddenly your whole body is pulsing with the oscillating sound. You wonder if you've overdone it this time and exhale completely. The pulsating, oscillating feeling increases until it consumes all your senses. This is the onset of the epiphany. You worry that you've caused irreparable brain damage. Your senses will never return to normal.
And then comes the epiphany in all its glory. It's calming. The oscillations continue unabated, but they are no longer worrisome. You test your epiphany against various real life experiences. Memories and narratives come sprinkled among sets of oscillations like sunlight sparkling on waves at the sea, like the tingling feeling that comes when your hand goes to sleep. You laugh out loud at the implications. All is well, at least in the context of your epiphany.
But what was your epiphany? That's the frustrating thing about coming down.
User Reviews
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2008-03-04 13:06:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You left out the last part about coma and death. Great post.
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-03-03 19:33:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by cat_head (user info) at 2008-03-02 20:08:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It is supposedly not very damaging and stuff, and obviously the fact that it is used in medicine supports this.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Dear cat_head,
Nitrous oxide (N2O) is a dissociative drug that can cause analgesia, depersonalization, derealization, dizziness, euphoria, sound distortion and slight hallucinations. Extreme overuse over a long period of time can also cause brain damage.
Thank you,
Wikipedia via HellRazer
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-03-03 14:08:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Try mixing autoerotic asphyxiation with sleeping pills and booze. Even if it doesn't give you the high you're looking for, at least it will shut you the fuck up.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-03-03 14:04:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 Nitrous. I just had it for the first time at a doctor's office last week, when I had my last wisdom tooth pulled.
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2008-03-03 05:06:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
michigan
its a party store
ya know like ballons and shit
Submitted by TheBrad (user info) at 2008-03-03 04:48:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Where can i find this dr. funzo?
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2008-03-03 01:41:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
or ya go to doc funzo and just ask for it by name. go get some balloons and get down
i enjoy breathing out through my ciggy it burns pretty
Submitted by bjrog2 (user info) at 2008-03-03 00:55:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Insightful and thought-provoking read, but needs more MaryJane
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-02 23:14:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Neat.
I won't be trying it - but it sounds... trippy.
Submitted by TheBrad (user info) at 2008-03-02 23:11:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You described that perfectly. it gave me flashbacks.
Submitted by cat_head (user info) at 2008-03-02 20:08:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I did nitrous for the first time recently. The Mr Creamy nonsense or whatever. I must admit I was pretty impressed. First attempt not much happened, but this was simply due to not holding my breath for long enough. Second time I held out and suddenly things became rather intense. Warping of time, sound, and also a strange sensation of distilled hilarity - laughing for laughing's sake. In fact it one of the most intense drugs I've ever done, only surpassed by ketamine. It is supposedly not very damaging and stuff, and obviously the fact that it is used in medicine supports this. But I must admit I found it pretty hardcore. I couldn't imagine actually getting knocked out by this stuff: I seemed to be approaching some kind of head explosion at its peak, rather than a slipping away of consciousness.
And also quite difficult to smuggle into pubs/clubs! Hmm, no actually if there was a birthday party going on you could bring a bunch of pre-filled balloons...
Submitted by PepsiCoke (user info) at 2008-03-02 19:56:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I know some people that get pretty excited about nitrous but I don't do it very often. I like highs that last a while, but I will admit that the nitrous high can be pretty fantastic.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-03-02 19:56:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
...
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-03-02 19:53:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And spelling, too.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-03-02 19:51:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm still struggling with the intracacies of attachments.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-02 19:48:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
PS: UnGodly huge picture. . .
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-02 19:45:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're going to be beat to death with "One Post Per Day, Dipshit."
Take this +2 and run. Run fast.